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THE 


YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE 


EXCELLENCE. 


BY  WILLIAM  A.  ALCOTT, 

Author  of  tlio  Young  Man's  Guide,  Young  Husband,  Young  Wife, 
House  I  Live  In,  &.c. 


BOSTON: 
GEORGE   W.  LIGHT,  1  CORNHILL. 

New  York  : — 126  Fulton  Street. 
1840. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1839,  by 
Wm.  A.  Alcott,  in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District 
Court  of  Massachusetts. 


PREFACE 


This  work  was  begun,  soon  after  the  ap- 
pearance of  the  Young  Man's  Guide — and 
was  partially  announced  to  the  public.  For 
reasons,  however,  which  I  have  not  room  to 
give  in  this  place,  it  was  thought  proper  to 
defer  its  publication  till  the  appearance  of 
several  other  volumes  in  the  same  spirit, 
involving  more  particularly  the  relative  du- 
ties. 

I  wish  to  have  it  distinctly  understood,  that 
I  do  not  propose  to  give  a  complete  manual  of 
the  social  and  moral  duties  of  young  women. 
Every  one  has  his  own  way  of  looking  at 
things,  and  I  have  mine.  Some  of  the  duties 
of  young  women  have  appeared  to  me  to 
receive  from  other  writers  less  attention  than 
their  comparative  importance  demands;  and 


4  PREFACE. 

others — especially  those  which  are  connected 
with  the  great  subject  of  "temperance  in  all 
things  " — I  have  believed  to  be  treated,  in 
several  respects,  erroneously. 

Permit  me,  however,  to  say,  that  while  I 
have  not  intended  to  follow  the  path,  or  repeat 
the  ideas  of  any  other  writer,  I  have  not 
attempted  to  avoid  either  the  one  or  the  other. 
If  I  have  presented  here  and  there  a  thought 
which  had  already  come  before  the  public 
from  my  own  pen,  I  can  only  say  that  I  did 
not  intend  it,  although  I  did  not  take  special 
pains  to  avoid  it.  The  sum  is  this.  I  have 
presented  my  thoughts,  without  so  much  refer- 
ence to  what  has  already  been  said  by  myself 
or  others,  as  to  what  I  have  supposed  to  be 
the  necessities  of  those  for  whom  I  write.  I 
have  gone  straight  forward,  asking  no  ques- 
tions; and  I  trust  I  shall  he  dealt  with  in  a 
manner  equally  direct. 

Dedham,  Mass.  Nov.  1839. 


CONTENTS, 


CHAPTER  I.— Explanation  of  Terms. 

The  word  excellence  hero  used  as  nearly  synony- 
mous with  holiness.  What  is  meant  by  calling 
the  work  a  Guide.  The  term  Woman — why 
preferable,  as  a  general  term,  to  Lady.     .     .     13 — 17 


CHAPTER  II.— Female  Responsibilities. 

Comparison  of  the  responsibilities  of  young  men 
and  young  women.  Bad  and  good  education. 
Influence  of  a  young  woman  in  a  family — in  a 
school.  Story  of  a  domestic  in  Boston.  Female 
influence  in  the  renovation  of  the  world.     .     18 — 38 


CHAPTER  III.— Self-Education. 

Views  of  Agesilaus,  king  of  Sparta — of  Solomon, 
king  of  Israel.  Mistake  corrected.  What  the 
wisest  and  best  parents  cannot  do.  What,  there- 
fore, remains  to  the  daughter.  Necessity  of  self- 
education.  The  work  of  self-education  the  work 
of  life — a  never-ending  progress  upward  to  the 

throne  of  God 39—48 

1  • 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  IV.— Love  of  Improvement. 

Female  capabilities.  Doing  every  thing  in  the  best 
possible  manner.  Every  person  and  every  occu- 
pation susceptible  of  improvement,  indefinitely. 
Personal  duties 49 — 57 


CHAPTER   V.— Self-knowledge. 

Vast  extent  of  the  science  of  self-knowledge.  Spu- 
rious self-knowledge.  Knowledge  of  our  physical 
frame — its  laws  and  relations.  Instruments  of 
obtaining  it.  The  use  of  lectures.  Study  of  our 
peculiarities.  Study  of  mental  philosophy.  The 
Bible.    How  the  Bible  should  be  studied.    .    58—71 

CHAPTER   VI.— Conscientiousness. 

Is  there  any  conscientiousness  in  the  world  ?  How 
far  conscientiousness  should  extend.  Tendency 
and  power  of  habit.  Evils  of  doing  incessantly 
what  we  know  to  be  wrong.  Errors  of  early 
education.  False  standard  of  right  and  wrong. 
Bad  method  of  family  discipline.  Palsy  of  the 
moral  sensibilities.  The  education  of  conscience. 
Results  which  may  be  expected 72 — 90 

CHAPTER   VII.— Self-Government. 

What  self-government  includes.  Cheerfulness  a 
duty.  Discretion.  Modesty.  Diffidence.  Cour- 
age. Vigilance.  Thoughts  and  feelings.  The 
affections.  The  temper.  The  appetites  and 
passions 91 — 111 


CONTENTS.  7 

CHAPTER  VIII.— Self-Command. 

Presence  of  mind.  Examples.  Napoleon.  Female 
example.  Mrs.  Merrill.  Use  of  the  anecdote. 
Self-command  to  be  cultivated.  In  what  manner. 
Consult  the  experience  of  others.  Consult  your 
own  reason  and  good  sense.  Daily  practice  in 
the  art  of  self-command 112 — 122 


CHAPTER  IX.— Decision  of  Character. 

Decision  of  character  as  important  to  young  women 
as  to  others.  Why  it  is  so.  Illustration  of  the 
subject  by  a  scripture  anecdote.  Misery  and 
danger  of  indecision.  How  to  reform.  Perseve- 
rance.    Errors  of  modern  education.   .     .     123 — 129 

CHAPTER   X.— Self-Dependence. 

Fashionable  education.  Why  there  is  so  little  self- 
dependence  in  the  world.  Why  orphans  some- 
times make  out  well  in  the  world.  The  best 
character  formed  under  difficulties.  Cause  of  the 
present  helpless  condition  of  females.  Anecdote 
of  an  independent  young  woman.     .     .     .     130 — 144 

CHAPTER  XI. — Reasoning  and  Originality. 

Females  not  expected  to  be  reasoners.  Effects  of 
modern  education  on  the  reasoning  powers. 
Education  of  former  days.  The  reasoning  powers 
susceptible  of  cultivation  indefinitely.  The  im- 
portance of  maternal  effort  and  female  edu- 
cation      145 — 153 


O  CONTEXTS. 

CHAPTER   XII.— Invention 

An  apology.  Why  woman  has  invented  so  few 
things.  Abundant  room  for  the  exercise  of  her 
inventive  powers.  Hints.  Particular  need  of  a 
reform  in  cooking.  Appeal  to  young  women  on 
this  subject. 154—156 

CHAPTER   XIII. — Observation   and  'Reflection. 

Advice  of  Dr.  Dwight.  Other  counsels  to  the 
young.  Some  persons  of  both  sexes  are  always 
seeing,  but  never  reflecting.  Zimmerman's 
views.     Reading  to  get  rid  of  reflection.       157 — 160 

CHAPTER   XIV.— The  Right  Use  of  Time. 

Great  value  of  moments.  Time  more  valuable  than 
money.  What  are  the  most  useful  charities. 
Doing  good  by  proxy.  Value  of  time  for  reflec- 
tion. Doing  nothing.  Rendering  an  account 
of  our  time  at  the  last  tribunal 161 — 166 

CHAPTER   XV.— Love  of  Domestic  Concerns. 

Reasons  for  loving  domestic  life.  1.  Young  women 
should  have  some  avocation.  Labor  regarded  as 
drudgery.  2.  Domestic  employment  healthy. 
3.  It  is  pleasant.  4.  It  affords  leisure  for  intel- 
lectual improvement.  5.  It  is  favorable  to  social 
improvement.  6.  It  is  the  employment  assigned 
them  by  Divine  Providence,  and  is  eminently 
conducive  to  moral  improvement.  A  well  or- 
dered home  a  miniature  of  heaven.      .     .     167 — 176 


COxNTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XVI.— Frugality  and  Economy. 

Economy  becoming  old  fashioned.  The  Creator's 
example.  Frugality  and  economy  should  be 
early  inculcated.  Spending  two  pence  to  save 
one  not  always  wrong.  Wasting  small  things. 
Good  habits,  as  well  as  bad  ones,  go  by  compa- 
nies. Frugality  and  economy  of  our  grand- 
mothers  177—182 


CHAPTER  XVII.— System. 

General  neglect  of  system  in  families.  Successful 
efforts  of  a  few  schools.  Why  the  effects  they 
produce  are  not  permanent.  Importance  of  right 
education.  Blessedness  of  having  a  mother  who 
is  systematic.  Let  no  person  ever  despair  of 
reformation.     How  to  be<rin  the  work.      .     183 — 187 


CHAPTER  XVIII.— Punctuality. 

Evil  of  being  one  minute  too  late.  Examples  to 
illustrate  the  importance  of  punctuality.  Case  of 
a  mother  at  Lowell.  Her  adventure.  Condition 
of  a  family  trained  to  despise  punctuality.     188 — 202 

CHAPTER  XIX.— Exercise. 

The  muscles,  or  moving  power  of  the  body.  Phi- 
losophy and  necessity  of  exercise.  Various  kinds 
of  exercise.  1.  Walking.  2.  Gardening  and 
agriculture.  3.  House-keeping.  4.  Riding.  5. 
Local  exercises.  Consequences  of  the  fashion- 
able necrlect  of  exercise 203 — 220 


10 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XX.— Rest  and  Sleep. 
Why  rest  and  sleep  are  needed.  Moral  tendency  of 
not  sleeping  at  the  proper  time.  Of  rest  without 
sleep.  Good  habits  in  regard  to  sleep.  Apart- 
ments for  sleep.  Air.  Bed.  Covering.  Night 
clothing.  Suppers.  The  more  we  indulge  in 
sleep,  the  more  sleep  we  seem  to  require.      221 — 238 

CHAPTER  XXI.— Industry. 
Education  to  industry.  Man  naturally  a  lazy  ani- 
mal. Indolence  in  females.  Hybernation.  Every 
young  woman  ought  to  be  trained  to  support  her- 
self, should  necessity  require  it,  and  to  aid  in 
supporting  others.  She  should,  at  least,  be  always 
industrious.  Kinds  of  labor.  Mental  labor  as 
truly  valuable  as  bodily 239 — 243 

CHAPTER   XXII.— Visiting. 

Is  there  no  time  for  relaxation  ?  Passive  enjoyments 
sometimes  wrong.  How  christian  visits  should 
be  conducted.  Duty  and  pleasure  compatible. 
Passive  visits  useful  to  childhood.  Morning  calls 
and  evening  parties.  Bible  doctrine  of  visiting. 
Abuse  of  visiting 244 — 250 

CHAPTER   XXIII.— Manners. 

Miss  Sedgwick  on  Good  Manners.  Just  views  of 
good  manners.  Good  manners  the  natural  accom- 
paniment of  a  good  heart.  The  Bible  the  best  book 
on  manners.    Illustrations  of  the  subject.      251 — 256 


CONTENTS.  11 

CHAPTER  XXIV.— Health  and  Beauty. 

Dr.  Bell  on  Health  and  Beauty.  Adam  and  Eve 
probably  very  beautiful.  Primitive  beauty  of  our 
race  yet  to  be  restored.  Never  too  late  to  reform. 
Causes  of  ugliness.  Obedience  to  law,  natural 
and  moral,  the  true  source  of  beauty.  Indecency 
and  immorality  of  neglecting  cleanliness.       257 — 202 

CHAPTER   XXV.— Neatness  and  Cleanliness. 

Every  person  should  undergo  a  thorough  ablution 
once  a  day.  Two  important  objects  gained  by 
cold  bathing.  Its  value  as  an  exercise.  Various 
forms  of  bathing.  Philosophy  of  this  subject. 
Bathing  necessary  in  all  employments.  Offices 
of  the  skin,  and  evil  consequences  of  keeping  it 
in  an  uncleanly  condition 2G3 — 271 

CHAPTER   XXVI.— Dress  and  Ornament. 

Legitimate  purposes  of  dress.  Use  of  ^ornaments. 
How  clothing  keeps  us  warm.  Errors  in  regard 
to  the  material,  quality,  and  form  of  our  dress. 
Tigbt  lacing — its  numerous  evils.  Improvement 
of  the  lungs,  by  education 272 — 293 

CHAPTER    XXVII.— Dosing  and  Drugging. 

Tendency  of  young  women  to  dosing  and  drug- 
ging. "Nervousness."  Qualms  of  the  stomach. 
Eating  between  our  meals — its  mischiefs.  Evils 
of  more  direct  dosing.  Confectionary.  The 
danger  from  quacks  and  quackery.   .     .     .    294 — 299 


1%  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  XXVIIL— Taking  care  of  the  Sick. 

The  art  of  taking  care  of  the  sick.  Great  value  of 
personal  services.  Contagion.  Breathing  bad  air. 
Aged  nurses.  Scientific  instruction  of  nurses. 
Visiting  the  sick  a  religious  duty.    .     .     .     300 — 308 

CHAPTER   XXIX. — Intellectual  Improvement. 

Futility  of  the  question  whether  woman  is  or  is  not 
inferior  to  man.  Conversation.  Taciturnity  and 
loquacity.  Reading.  Advice  of  a  choice  friend. 
Composition.  Journalizing.  Music.  Lectures 
and  concerts.  Studies.  Keys  of  knowledge.  309 — 326 

CHAPTER   XXX.— Social  Improvement. 

Improvement  in  a  solitary  state.  The  social  rela- 
tions. The  family  constitution.  A  new  and 
interesting  relation.  Selection  with  reference  to 
it.     Counsellors 327 — 347 

CHAPTER   XXXI.— Moral  Progress. 

Importance  of  progress.  Physical  and  intellectual 
improvement  a  means  rather  than  an  end.  Mea- 
suring ourselves  by  others.  Young  women  urged 
to  emancipate  themselves  from  the  bondage  of 
fashion,  and  custom,  and  selfishness.    .     .     348 — 356 


THE 


YOUNG   WOMAN'S   GUIDE 


CHAPTER  I. 


EXPLANATION  OF  TERMS. 

Defining  terms.  The  word  excellence  here  used  as  nearly 
synonymous  with  holiness.  What  is  meant  by  calling  the 
work  a  Guide.  The  term  Woman — why  preferable,  as 
a  general  term,  to  Lady.  The  chiss  to  whom  this  work  is 
best  adapted. 

It  has  been  said,  and  with  no  little  truth, 
that  a  large  proportion  of  the  disputes  in  the 
world  might  have  been  avoided,  had  the  dis- 
putants first  settled  the  meaning  of  the  terms 
they  respectively  used.  In  like  manner  might 
a  large  share  of  the  misapprehension  and  error 
in  the  world  be  avoided,  if  those  who  attempt 
to  teach,  would  first  explain  their  terms. 

This  work  is  called  "  The  Young  Woman's 
Guide  to  Excellence,"  because  it  is  be- 
2 


14  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

lieved  that  excellence,  rather  than  happiness, 
should  be  the  great  aim  of  every  human 
being.  I  am  not  ignorant  that  happiness — 
present  and  future — is  proposed  as  our  "be- 
ing's end  and  aim,"  not  only  by  a  poet  as 
distinguished  as  Alexander  Pope,  but  also 
by  as  distinguished  a  philosopher  as  William 
Paley.  But  these  men  did  not  learn  in  the 
school  of  Christ,  that  our  "being's  end  and 
aim  "  is  happiness,  present  or  future.  The 
Christian  religion,  no  less  than  Christian 
philosophy  and  all  sound  common  sense, 
teaches  that  holiness  or  excellence  should  be 
the  leading  aim  of  mankind.  Not  that  "the 
recompense  of  reward,"  to  which  the  best 
men  of  the  world  have  had  regard  in  all  their 
conduct,  is  to  be  wholly  overlooked,  but  only 
that  it  should  not  be  too  prominent  in  the 
mind's  eye,  and  too  exclusively  the  soul's  aim; 
since  it  would  thus  be  but  a  more  refined  and 
more  elevated  selfishness.  Real  excellence 
brings  happiness  along  with  it.  Like  godli- 
ness— which,  indeed,  is  the  same  thing — it 
has  the  promise  of  the  life  that  now  is,  and 
of  that  which  is  to  come.  And  that  happi- 
ness which  is  attainable  without  personal  ex- 
cellence or  holiness,  is  either  undeserved  or 


EXPLANATION    OF    TERMS.  15 

spurious.  The  world,  I  know,  very  generally 
seek  after  it,  whether  deserved  or  undeserved ; 
and  whether  willing  or  not  to  pay  the  price. 

My  ohject  is  to  assist,  if  I  can,  in  re- 
moving from  our  world  the  error  of  seeking 
happiness  as  a  primary  ohject.  Let  us  but 
pursue  excellence,  and  happiness  will  almost 
inevitably  follow.  I  address  this  exhortation 
to  Young  Women,  in  particular,  for  reasons 
which  will  be  seen  when  I  come,  in  the  next 
chapter,  to  speak  of  female  responsibilities. 
Let  every  young  woman  aspire  to  high  de- 
grees of  purity  and  excellence.  Let  her 
great  aim  be,  to  be  personally  holy — like  God 
her  Saviour.  To  this  end  and  with  this  aim, 
let  her  be  ready  to  set  aside,  if  necessary, 
father  and  mother,  and  brother  and  sister — 
yes,  and  her  own  life  also, — assured  that  if 
she  does  it  with  a  sacred  regard  to  God  and 
duty,  all  will  be  well.  Let  her  but  follow 
Christ  according  to  the  gospel  plan,  if  it  lead 
her  to  prison  and  to  death.  But  it  will  not. 
thus  lead  her.  For  every  self-denial  or  self- 
sacrifice  it  involves,  she  will  secure,  as  a 
general  rule,  manifold  more  in  this  present 
life,  and  in  the  world  to  come,  life  everlast- 
ing. 


16  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

This  book  is  not  called  "  The  Young  Wo- 
man's Guide,"  with  the  expectation  that  she 
will  consider  it  her  only  or  even  her  principal 
guide.  The  Bible  should  be  the  principal  guide 
of  every  person,  young  or  old,  male  or  female. 
Parents,  also,  are  invaluable  as  guides.  I 
offer  it  only  as  the  best  guide  which  my  re- 
flections upon  those  subjects,  connected  with 
the  welfare  of  young  women,  that  come  within 
the  department  of  my  study  and  observation, 
enable  me  to  give.  May  it  prove  a  guide 
indeed! 

I  have  called  it  "The  Young  Woman's 
Guide,"  because  there  are  many  who  are  ac- 
customed to  associate  with  the  word  lady,  the 
idea  of  exemption  from  labor,  and  of  entire 
devotion  to  something  supposed  to  be  above 
it — as  fashionable  company,  or  fashionable 
dress  and  equipage.  And  not  a  few  can 
hardly  hear  the  word  mentioned  without  dis- 
gust. Miss  Sedgwick  has  illustrated  this 
part  of  my  subject  very  happily  in  the  first  and 
fifteenth  chapters  of  her  "  Means  and  Ends." 
She  says  she  does  not  write  exclusively  for 
those  who  are  termed  young  ladies;  because 
she  does  not  believe  in  any  such  fixed  class, 
in  the  country.     The  term  lachj,  she  also  says, 


EXPLANATION    OF    TERMS.  17 

is  too  indefinite  for  any  valuable  use.  We 
not  only  apply  it  to  those  who  are,  or  would 
be,  above  labor,  but  in  a  great  many  other 
ways — as  that  "old  lady,"  meaning,  perhaps, 
some  beggar  at  the  door,  Stc.  In  short,  she 
does  not  like  the  use  of  the  phrase,  young 
lady,  at  all.  Neither  do  I.  Besides,  I  like 
best  the  good  old  fashioned  term,  young  wo- 
man. This  exactly  represents  the  class  for 
whom  I  write,  and  that,  too,  without  either 
explanation  or  qualification.  It  will  be  mis- 
taken by  no  one,  nor  will  it  be  likely  to  give 
or  cause  any  offence. 

Finally,  I  call  the  work  "The  Young 
Woman's  Guide,"  because  I  design  it  for 
those  single  persons  of  the  female  sex  to  whom 
the  term  young  is  usually  applied;  viz.,  those 
who  are  from  twelve  or  fourteen  to  eighteen 
or  twenty  years  of  age — and  to  those,  in  gene- 
ral, who  are  single.  I  hope,  nevertheless,  that 
it  will  contain  some  thoughts  which  may  be 
useful  to  those  individuals  who  are  in  married 
life,  as  well  as  to  those  who  are  below  the  age 
of  twelve  years.  Many  of  its  suggestions  and 
principles  will,  indeed,  be  applicable — so  far 
as  they  are  just  or  true — to  all  mankind. 
2* 


CHAPTER  II. 


FEMALE  RESPONSIBILITIES. 

Comparison  of  the  responsibilities  of  young  men  and  young 
women.  Saying  of  Dr.  Rush.  Its  application  to  young 
women.  Definition  of  the  term  education.  Bad  and  good 
education.  Opinions  of  Solomon.  Influence  of  a  young 
woman  in  a  family — in  a  school.  Anecdotes  of  female 
influence.  West,  Alexander,  Coesar,  Franklin.  Story  of  a 
domestic  in  Boston.  The  good  she  is  doing.  Special 
influence  of  young  women  in  families — and  as  sisters. 
Female  influence  in  the  renovation  of  the  world. 

Much  has  been  said,  within  a  few  years,  of 
the  duties,  responsibilities,  Stc.  of  young  men, 
especially  the  young  men  of  our  republic.  A 
great  deal  that  has  been  said,  has,  in  my 
view,  been  appropriate  and  well-timed.  My 
own  attention  has  been  frequently  turned  to 
the  same  class  of  individuals;  nor  do  I  regret 
it.  My  only  regret  is,  that  what  I  have  said, 
has  not  been  said  to  better  purpose.  Counsels 
and  cautions  to  young  men,  standing  on  slip- 
pery places  as  they  confessedly  do,  can  hardly 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  19 

be  too  numerous,  provided  those  who  give 
them,  use  discretion,  and  remember  their  re- 
sponsibility, not  only  to  the  tribunal  of  pub- 
lic opinion,  but  to  a  tribunal  still  higher. 

The  snares,  the  dangers,  the  difficulties, 
the  influence,  the  responsibilities  of  young 
men — at  least  in  the  United  States — can 
hardly  be  overrated.  Would  that  they  could  be 
so  trained  and  directed  as  fully  to  understand 
them,  and  govern  themselves  accordingly! 
Would  that  they  could  be  made  to  exert  that 
moral  influence  in  the  salvation  of  our  race — 
politically  no  less  than  morally,  nationally  no 
less  than  individually — of  which  they  are  so 
capable! 

Yet,  after  every  concession  of  this  kind,  I 
am  compelled  to  believe  that  the  responsi- 
bilities and  influence  of  young  women — to 
say  nothing  at  present  of  their  dangers — are 
much  more  weighty  than  those  of  young  men. 
I  am  decidedly  of  opinion,  that  the  future  ho- 
liness and  happiness  of  the  world  in  which 
we  live,  depend  much  more  on  the  character 
of  the  rising  generation  of  the  female  sex, 
than  on  the  character  of  our  young  men. 

It  was  said  by  Dr.  Rush,  long  ago,  that 
mothers  and  school-masters  plant  the  seeds  of 


20  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

nearly  all  the  good  and  evil  in  our  world, 
Presuming  that  by  school-masters,  he  meant 
teachers  of  both  sexes,  will  any  one  doubt  the 
truth  of  his  assertion?  Will  any  one  doubt 
the  justness  of  a  remark  in  the  late  Western 
Review,  that  if  this  world  is  ever  to  become  a 
better  and  a  happier  world,  woman  must  be 
foremost,  if  not  the  principal  agent  in  render- 
ing it  so? 

But  as  mothers  are  never  mothers  till  they 
have  been  daughters,  is  it  not  obvious  that  the 
right  education  of  these  last  is  as  great  a  work 
as  any  to  which  human  mind  and  human 
effort  have  ever  been  called?  If  woman 
moves  the  world,  intellectually,  morally,  and 
even,  in  effect,  politically — as  no  doubt  she 
does — is  it  not  of  primary  importance  that  she 
be  taught,  as  well  as  teach  herself,  to  rule  it 
right  ? 

Can  it  be  necessary  to  advert,  in  this  place, 
to  the  well  known  and  acknowledged  fact,  that 
almost  every  man  of  extensive  influence,  for 
good  or  for  evil,  whom  the  world  has  pro- 
duced, became  what  he  was  through  maternal 
influence?  Caesar,  and  Caligula,  and  Talley- 
rand, and  Napoleon,  became  what  they  were 
in  consequence  of  their  mothers,  no  less  than 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  21 

Alfred,  and  Doddridge,  and  Howard,  and 
Washington. 

For  let  it  not  be  forgotten  that  mothers  and 
teachers,  according  to  Dr.  Rush — and  in  fact, 
according  to  common  observation,  too — plant 
the  seeds  of  the  world  of  evil  no  less  than  of 
the  world  of  good.  How  exceedingly  impor- 
tant, then,  that  Ihcij  should  be  well  educated, 
"from  whom"  in  the  language  of  another 
writer,  "  our  virtues  are,  and  from  whom  our 
vices  may  be  " — we  would  add  must  be — 
"derived;  "  at  least  in  no  small  proportion! 

But  I  am  using  the  term  education  without 
explaining  it.  Let  me,  then,  ere  I  proceed 
farther  on  the  subject  of  female  responsibility, 
explain  what  I  mean  by  education,  especially 
female  education. 

Mere  instruction  in  the  sciences  is,  indeed, 
education;  it  is,  however,  but  a  very  small 
part  of  it.  To  educate,  is  to  train  up.  In 
this  view,  all  are  of  course  educated;  and 
every  thing  which  has  an  influence  in  de- 
veloping mind  or  body,  and  in  training  up, 
either  for  good  or  for  evil,  is  entitled,  justly, 
to  the  name  of  education. 

But  if  the  above  definition  be  just — if  what- 
ever concerns  our  development,  or  the  forma- 


22  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

tion  of  any  part  of  our  character,  physical, 
intellectual,  social  or  moral,  is  education — 
then  it  must  follow  that  there  are  two  kinds 
of  education,  bad  and  good.  AH  persons, 
places,  and  things,  which  affect  us  (and  what 
does  not  affect  us?)  and  influence  us,  for  good 
or  for  evil,  must  educate  us. 

I  am  aware  that  this  definition  is  not  new: 
still,  it  is  not  generally  received,  or  if  re- 
ceived, not  generally  acted  upon.  There  is 
still  an  almost  universal  clinging  to  the  old, 
inadequate,  incorrect  idea,  that  the  principal 
part  of  education  consists  in  the  cultivation  of 
the  intellect;  and  that,  too,  by  set  lessons; 
received,  for  the  most  part,  at  the  schools. 
The  true  idea  of  education,  therefore,  must  be 
continually  enforced,  till  it  becomes  common 
property,  and  until  mankind  act  as  if  they 
believed  what  they  profess  in  regard  to  it. 

When  Solomon  says,  "  Train  up  a  child  in 
the  way  he  should  go,"  he  is  talking  of  what 
I  call  education;  and  the  kind  of  education 
which  he  is  here  recommending,  is  good  edu- 
cation. I  do  not  believe  he  had  the  schools 
in  his  mind — the  infant  school,  the  Sabbath 
school,  the  common  school,  the  high  school, 
or  the  university. 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  23 

Far  be  it  from  me  to  attempt  to  detract 
from  the  value  of  our  schools;  on  the  con- 
trary, I  regard  them  as  of  inestimable  worth, 
when  duly  attended  to.  What  I  insist  on  is, 
that  they  are  not  the  all  in  all  of  education; 
and  that  in  fact,  their  influence  in  training  up 
or  forming  good  character  is  so  trifling — that 
is,  comparatively — that  they  scarcely  deserve 
to  be  thought  of  when  speaking  of  education, 
as  a  whole,  especially  the  education  of  daugh- 
ters. And  though  one  of  the  tribes  of  the 
nation  to  which  Solomon  belonged,  over  which 
he  reigned,  and  for  whom,  in  particular,  he 
wrote,  is  said  to  have  been  school-masters  by 
profession,  and  another  priests,  I  can  hardly 
conceive  that  when  he  was  inspired  to  give 
the  educational  advice  just  alluded  to,  he 
ever  turned  so  much  as  a  thought  to  the  little 
corner  of  Palestine  allotted  to  Simeon,  or  to 
the  Levites  in  their  respective  but  more  scat- 
tered stations. 

Solomon  was,  in  all  probability,  addressing 
himself  chiefly  to  the  fathers  and  mothers,  and 
grand-fathers  and  grand-mothers,  and  other 
relatives  of  Israel ;  the  class  who,  by  their  uni- 
ted influence,  make  the  son  and  daughter,  and 


24  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

grand-son  and  grand-daughter  what  they  are 
— a  blessing  or  a  curse  to  the  world  in  which 
they  are  to  live.  For,  according  as  children 
are  brought  up  by  these  teachers,  and  by  the 
influences  which  are  shed  upon  them  from 
day  to  day  and  from  hour  to  hcur,  so  are  they 
well  or  ill  educated. 

If  I  have  been  successful  in  presenting  the 
meaning  of  a  term  which  is  not  only  frequently 
used  in  this  book,  but  almost  every  where 
else,  it  will  follow  as  a  matter  of  course,  that 
I  do  not  attach  too  much  importance  to  the 
education  of  daughters  themselves,  nor  to 
their  education  as  the  teachers  of  others. 
For  if  to  educate,  is  to  form  character,  what 
young  woman  can  be  found,  of  any  age  or  in 
any  family,  who  is  not  a  teacher? 

Have  young  women  often  considered — 
daughters,  especially — how  much  they  influ- 
ence younger  brothers  and  sisters,  if  any 
such  there  are  in  the  family  where  they 
dwell?  Have  they  considered  how  much 
they  sometimes  influence  the  character — and 
how  much  more  they  might  do  it — not  only 
of  their  school-mates  and  play-mates,  but 
also   of  their   more   aged    friends    and    com- 


fe:iale  responsibilities.  25 

panions — their  parents,  grand-parents,  and 
others?* 

I  conld  tell  them — were  this  the  place  for 
it — many  a  true  story  of  reading  daughters 
who  have  been  the  means  of  awakening,  in 
their  aged  parents,  or  grand-parents,  or  other 
friends,  a  taste  for  reading,  which  they  might 
otherwise  have  gone  down  to  the  grave  with- 
out acquiring.  I  could  tell  them  of  many  a 
father  and  mother,  and  grand-father  and 
grand-mother,  grown  grey  in  vice— hardened 
even  by  intemperance  as  well  as  other  vices — 
who  have  been  reformed  by  the  prattle,  or  the 
reproof,  or  the  prayers  of  a  good  daughter. 
Is  not  such  a  daughter  a  teacher? 

But  I  am  most  anxious  to  convince  young 
women  of  their  responsibilities  in  regard  to 
the  rising  generation,  especially  their  own 
brothers  and  companions.  I  am  anxious,  if  I 
can,  to  convince  all  who  read  this  volume, 
that  God  has,  by  his  providence,  committed  to 


*  On  reading  these  paragraphs,  iu  manuscript,  to  one  of  our 
more  eminent  teachers.be  observed  that  if  be  had  been  useful  in 
the  world,  he  owed  bis  usefulness  to  the  exertions  of  a  maiden 
lady  who  resided  in  his  father's  family,  while  his  character 
was  fornvnsr. 


lb  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN  S    GUIDE. 

their  charge,  in  no  small  degree,  the  bodies, 
and  minds,  and  the  souls  of  those  with  whom, 
in  this  world,  they  are  associated.  That 
according  to  their  own  conduct,  good  or  ill, 
will  be,  in  no  small  measure,  the  health, 
and  knowledge,  and  excellence  of  their  friends 
and  companions.  That  according  to  their 
efforts — attended,  either  by  the  blessing  of 
God,  or  the  tokens  of  his  displeasure — will  be 
the  condition  of  millions,  for  time  and  for 
eternity. 

But  is  it  so?  Are  daughters,  as  daughters 
merely — to  say  nothing,  as  yet,  of  maternal 
influence — are  daughters  thus  influential?  Is 
it  true  that  the  destiny  of  millions  is  thus  com- 
mitted to  their  keeping? 

I  have  seen  the  conduct  of  a  whole  school 
— I  speak  now  of  the  common  or  district 
school — graduated  by  the  conduct  of  a  single 
virtuous,  and  amiable,  and  intelligent  young 
woman,  not  twelve  years  old,  who  attended  it. 
I  have  seen  a  whole  Sabbath  school  not  a 
little  affected  by  the  prompt  attention,  deco- 
rous behaviour  and  pious  example  of  some 
elder  member  of  an  older  class,  to  whom  the 
younger  members  of  classes,  male  and  female, 
looked  up,  as  to  a  sort  of  monitor,  or  I  know 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  27 

not  what  to  call  it — for  the  impression  thus 
made,  is  better  seen  and  felt  than  described. 
The  bad  behaviour  of  a  young  woman-,  in 
these  circumstances,  is,  indeed,  equally  influ- 
ential— nay,  more  so,  inasmuch  as  the  cur- 
rent of  human  nature  sets  more  readily  down- 
ward than  upward.  Still,  a  good  example  is 
influential — greatly  so:  would  that  it  were 
generally  known  how  much  so! 

Suppose  now  that  by  your  good  behaviour 
and  pious  example  in  the  Sabbath  school,  you 
are  the  means  of  turning  the  attention  of  one 
younger  companion,  male  or  female,  to  serious 
things,  and  of  bringing  down  upon  that  young 
person  the  blessing  of  Almighty  God.  Sup- 
pose that  individual  should  live  to  teach  or 
to  preach,  or  in  some  other  form  to  bless  the 
world,  by  bringing  numbers  to  the  knowledge, 
and  love,  and  inculcation  of  the  very  truth 
which  has  saved  his  own  soul — and  these  last, 
in  their  turn,  should  become  apostles  or  mis- 
sionaries to  others,  and  so  on.  Is  there  any 
end,  at  least  till  the  world  comes  to  an  end, 
of  the  good  influence  which  a  good  Sabbath 
school  pupil  may  thus  exert? 

But  this  is  something  more  than  a  supposed 
case.     Is  it  not,  in  effect,  just  what  is  actu- 


28  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

ally  taking  place  around  us  in  the  world  con- 
tinually? Not,  indeed,  that  a  long  train  of 
good  influences  has  been  frequently  set  agoing 
in  the  Sabbath  school — for  Sabbath  schools  are 
but  of  recent  origin.  But  people  have  always 
been  led  along  to  virtue  or  vice,  to  piety  or 
impiety,  to  bless  the  world  or  to  prove  a  curse 
to  it,  by  one  another.  A  word  or  a  look  from 
a  relative,  or  friend,  or  acquaintance,  in  the 
school  or  somewhere  else,  has  often  given  a 
turn  to  the  whole  character.  A  word,  it  is 
said,  may  move  a  continent.  Something  less 
than  a  word — a  look  or  a  smile  of  approba- 
tion, may  move  more  than  a  continent.  It 
may  move  not  merely  a  West,*  but  an  Alex- 
ander, a  Caesar,  a  Napoleon,  a  Washington, 
and  a  Howard — men  who,  in  their  turn,  moved 
a  world! 

I  have  spoken  of  the  influence  which  a 
young  woman  may  have  on  millions  through 
the  medium  of  the  Sabbath  school.  But  if  she 
may  influence  in  this  way,  the  millions  of  those 


*  A  mother's  kiss,  in  token  of  her  approbation  of  some 
little  pencil  sketch,  is  believed  by  Benjamin  West,  to  have 
given  the  turn  to  his  character  3  the  character  of  a  man  who 
said — and  justly — that  he  painted  for  eternity.  "  That  mo- 
ther's kiss  "  he  observes,  "  made  me  a  painter." 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  29 

who  are  to  come  after  her,  how  much  more 
may  she  do  in  forming  character  for  the  great 
future,  in  the  family!  Her  presence  in  the 
Sahhath  school  is  only  once  a  week — an  hour 
or  two  a  day,  once  in  seven  days;  whereas, 
her  influence  in  the  family  is  going  on  per- 
petually. 

The  clothes  of  Alexander  the  Great,  are  said 
to  have  heen  made,  to  a  very  great  extent,  by 
his  sisters;  and  those  of  Augustus  Caesar  were 
made  for  many  years  by  his.  And  can  we  doubt 
that  these  young  females  were  influential,  in  a 
great  many  respects,  in  the  education  of  these 
conquerors?  What  could  they  have  done,  but 
for  the  assistance  and  influence  of  mothers 
and  sisters?  And  can  we  have  any  Alexan- 
ders and  Caasars,  at  the  present  day,  to  carry 
on  the  moral  and  intellectual  conquests  which 
are  so  necessary  in  the  world,  without  the  aid 
and  co-operation  of  mothers  and  sisters? 

Sisters  little  know — it  is  almost  impossible 
for  them  ever  to  know — how  much  they  do  to 
bring  about  results, — to  educate  their  brothers 
and  friends,  for  the  work  which  they  perform, 
whether  good  or  evil.  The  sisters  of  Frank- 
lin little  knew  what  they  were  doing  for 
" young  Benny,"  as  they  called  him,  while 


30  THE    YOUNG 

they  assisted  their  mother  in  taking  care  of 
his  clothes,  in  preparing  his  food,  and  in  min- 
istering to  his  other  physical  wants — yes,  and 
to  the  wants  of  his  mind,  too.  Who  can  say 
that  Benjamin  Franklin  would  ever  have  been 
what  Benjamin  Franklin  was,  without  their 
aid,  joined  to  the  efforts  of  their  mother? 

Many  a  young  female,  having  caught,  in 
some  degree,  the  spirit  of  doing  good,  has 
sighed  for  opportunities.  "  What  can  I  do?" 
she  has  seemed  to  say,  "here  at  home.  If  I 
could  be  a  missionary  at  Ceylon,  or  South 
Africa,  or  the  Sandwich  Islands,  or  even  if  I 
could  be  a  teacher,  I  could,  perhaps,  do  some- 
thing. But  as  it  is,  I  must  remain  a  mere 
cypher  in  the  world.  I  would  do  good,  but  I 
have  no  opportunities." 

She  who  says  this  is  undoubtedly  sincere. 
She  is,  however,  greatly  mistaken.  Her  op- 
portunities for  doing  good — for  exerting  an 
influence  to  bless  her  race — "are  neither  few 
nor  small."  There  is,  indeed,  a  difference,  a 
very  great  difference,  in  human  conditions  and 
circumstances;  and  yet  I  am  persuaded,  no 
female  is  so  secluded  as  not  to  be  able  to 
fulfil,  towards  her  race,  a  most  important 
mission. 


FRMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  .  81 

I  know  of  an  excellent  female  who  is  often 
heard  lamenting  her  want  of  opportunity  for 
usefulness.  She  has  the  spirit  of  doing  good, 
as  she  supposes,  and  as  I  fully  believe.  And 
yet  she  is  miserable — she  makes  herself  so — 
by  repining  continually  at  her  want  of  ability 
to  perform  the  good  works  which  her  heart 
meditates.  She  would  rejoice  to  devote  her- 
self to  the  elevation  of  her  race.  She  would 
gladly  go  to  India,  or  the  South  Seas,  if  her 
age  and  uncultivated  intellect  did  not  exclude 
her  from  being  a  candidate.  Now,  without 
saying  a  word  in  disparagement  of  foreign 
missions — for  the  success  of  which  I  would 
gladly  contribute  largely,  not  only  by  prayers, 
but  by  pecuniary  contributions — truth  com- 
pels me  to  say  of  this  female,  that  I  am  by  no 
means  sure  she  could  do  more  for  humanity, 
or  more  in  fact,  for  the  cause  of  Christ,  by 
a  foreign  mission,  than  she  is  now  doing  by  a 
domestic  one. 

A  domestic  mission  hers  indeed  is,  in  the 
fullest  sense  of  the  term.  She  is  an  ordinary 
domestic — and  no  more — in  the  family  to 
which  she  belongs.  But  what  is  the  condi- 
tion of  that  family?  The  head  of  it  is  the  dis- 
tinguished teacher  of  a  private  female  semi- 


3:2.  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

nary.  Here  he  has  prepared  hundreds  of 
young  women — so  far,  I  mean,  as  the  mere 
instruction  of  what  he  calls  a  "family  school," 
is  concerned — for  usefulness  as  teachers,  as 
sisters,  as  ministers  to  the  aged,  and  as 
mothers  to  the  young.  Suppose  he  has  in- 
structed, in  his  comparatively  excellent  way, 
two  hundred  females.  Suppose  again  one 
half  of  the  females  he  has  instructed  and  coun- 
selled and  lived  among,  should,  in  their  turn, 
each  form  as  much  character  as  he  has 
already  done — and  he  is  yet  but  a  middle 
aged  man;  and  suppose  half  the  disciples  of 
each  of  these  pupils  in  their  turn  should  do  the 
same,  and  thus  on,  till  the  year  of  our  Lord 
2000,  only,  which  is,  as  we  have  reason  to 
believe,  but  a  little  way  towards  the  end  of 
the  world.  Suppose  one  hundred  only  of  each 
two  hundred,  should  live  to  have  influence, 
seventy-five  of  them  as  the  mothers  of  fami- 
lies of  the  usual  size,  and  twenty-five  only,  as 
teachers.  There  will  then  be  five  generations  in 
one  hundred  and  sixty  years;  and  the  number 
of  children  which  will  come  under  the  influ- 
ence of  this  line  or  succession  of  mothers  and 
teachers,  will  be  no  less  than  ninety  millions; 
or  a  number  equal  to  six  times  the  present 
population  of  the  United  States. 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  33 

Now  what  I  have  here  supposed,  is  by  no 
means  beyond  the  pale  of  possibility.  Two 
hundred  pupils  is  not  a  large  number  for 
one  teacher  to  instruct  during  his  whole  life. 
Nor  is  twenty-five  a  large  proportion  of  two 
hundred  to  become  teachers.  Nor  is  seventy- 
five  a  large  number  in  two  hundred  to  live  to 
have  families;  nor  two  children  in  each  family, 
upon  an  average,  a  very  large  number  to  come 
to  maturity  and  have  families  in  their  turn. 
Besides,  I  have  reckoned  but  four  generations 
in  one  hundred  and  sixty  years,  exclusive  of 
that  now  educating.  So  that  I  have  kept  my 
estimates  within  due  bounds  in  every  respect. 

Do  you  ask  what  the  domestic  of  whom  I 
have  spoken  has  to  do  with  all  this?  I  an- 
swer, much — very  much  indeed.  Has  she 
not  rendered  to  the  teacher  in  whose  employ 
she  has  been,  that  kind  of  services,  without 
which  he  could  not  have  followed  his  occupa- 
tion? And  if  ninety  millions,  or  even  one 
tenth  that  number  of  citizens  should,  in  the 
course  of  the  next  two  centuries,  reap  the 
benefit  of  his  labors  and  become  lights  in 
the  world,  is  it  too  much  to  say  that  she  has 
been  an  important  aid  in  accomplishing  the 
work?     Nay,  is  it  even-  too  much  to  affirm, 


that  unless  the  part  which  she  lias  acted  had 
been  performed  by  her  or  somebody  else,  the 
school  could  not  have  gone  on,  and  two  hun- 
dred young  woman  could  not  have  received 
the  teacher's  instructions? 

Why,  then,  is  not  this  humble  domestic  to 
whom  I  allude,  a  benefactor  to  her  race — if  a 
benefaction  it  is,  to  raise  up  and  qualify 
for  usefulness  two  hundred  females — as  well 
as  he  who  has  the  whole  credit  of  it  ?  I  will 
not,  indeed,  say  that  any  thing  like  as  much 
credit  is  due  to  her  as  to  him;  but  I  may  say, 
and  with  truth,  that  she  was  an  important 
auxiliary  in  producing  the  results  that  have 
been  mentioned. 

But  if  a  humble  domestic,  one  who  imag- 
ines herself  so  obscure  as  to  be  of  little  ser- 
vice to  a  world  Which  perhaps  estimates  her 
services  almost  as  low  as  she  does  herself — if 
such  an  individual  may,  besides  the  general 
influence  of  her  character  upon  a  family,  be  an 
indispensable  aid  in  the  work  of  sending  forth 
to  the  world  a  host  of  female  missionaries, 
equal  in  the  progress  of  less  than  two  centu- 
ries, at  the  dawn  of  the  millennium,  to  ninety 
millions,  what  may  not  be  done  by  a  sister  in 
a  weli  ordered  family — one  who   is  not  only 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES..  '3-5 

well  educated  and  governed  herself,  but  who 
educates  and  governs  others  well? 

It  may  indeed  be  said,  that  a  domestic,  in 
the  family  of  a  distinguished  teacher,  may  in- 
directly influence,  by  her  labors  in  the  way  1 
have  mentioned,  a  far  greater  number  of  her 
race,  than  most  sisters  are  able  to  do.  It 
may,  indeed,  be  so.  There  is,  however,  an- 
other consideration.  It  is  chiefly  the  exter- 
nals of  education  which  can  receive  attention 
even  in  our  best  private  schools.  Little  can 
be  done,  at  the  best,  to  form  character — deep, 
permanent,  and  abiding  character.  Blessings 
indeed — great  blessings — such  schools  arc; 
but  in  proportion  as  their  numbers  are  in- 
creased beyond  those  of  our  larger  families, 
in  the  same  proportion  is  the  influence  which 
might  be  exerted  by  the  teacher,  scattered 
and  weakened;  whereas,  if  the  number  be 
small,  the  influence  of  those  who  teach  by  ex- 
ample and  by  precept,  is  concentrated,  and 
rendered  efficient.  There  is  no  certainty  that 
the  feebler  influence  which  is  exerted  on  ninety 
millions  might  not  do  more  good  by  being 
concentrated  on  one  tenth  or  one  twentieth 
that  number.  In  other  words,  if  the  same 
amount  of  pains  were  taken  by  mothers  and 


36  THE    YOUNG    WOMAtt's    GUIDE. 

sisters,  and  the  same  amount  of  labor  be- 
stowed for  the  purpose,  there  is  no  certainty 
that  the  world  might  not  as  soon  be  rendered 
what  it  should  be  through  the  medium  of 
family  education  alone,  as  with  the  aid  of 
other  influences.  Christianity,  when  brought 
to  bear  upon  the  family  by  the  united  exer- 
tions of  father,  mother,  brothers  and  sisters, 
will  probably  have  an  influence  on  the  regene- 
ration of  the  world,  of  which  no  human  mind — 
uninspired  at  least — has  ever  yet  conceived. 

Would  that  our  young  females — sisters  es- 
pecially— had  but  an  imperfect  conception  of 
the  power  they  possess  to  labor  in  the  cause 
of  human  improvement!  Would  that  they 
had  but  an  imperfect  idea  of  female  responsi- 
bility! 

My  remarks  are  applicable  to  all  young 
women;  but  they  are  particularly  so  to  elder 
sisters.  To  them  is  given  in  special  charge, 
the  happiness  and  the  destiny  of  all  younger 
brothers  and  sisters,  be  they  ever  so  numer- 
ous. As  the  desires  of  Abel  were  to  be  ex- 
pressed to  Cain,  and  the  latter  was  appointed 
to  rule  over  the  former,  so  is  the  elder  daugh- 
ter appointed  to  rule  over  those  whom  God 
has,  in   the  same  manner,  committed  to   her 


FEMALE    RESPONSIBILITIES.  37 

trust.  Happy  is  she  who  has  right  views  of 
her  weighty  responsibilities;  but  thrice  happy 
is  she  who  not  only  understands  her  duty,  but 
does  it! 

But  if  the  moral  character,  much  more 
than  the  physical  and  intellectual  well  being 
of  the  family,  is  given  in  charge  to  elder 
sisters,  and  even  to  all  sisters,  it  is  scarcely 
possible  for  them  to  form  a  correct  idea  of  the 
weight  of  their  influence,  in  this  respect  at 
least,  till  they  are  past  the  age  when  that  in- 
fluence is  most  necessary,  most  persuasive, 
and  most  effectual. 

I  have  seldom  found  a  young  man  who  had 
strayed  long  and  widely  from  the  path  of  vir- 
tue, .who  had  enjoyed  the  society  and  influence 
of  a  wise  and  virtuous  and  attentive  sister. 
On  the  contrary,  I  have  almost  uniformly 
found  such  individuals  to  have  been  in  families 
where  there  were  no  sisters,  or  where  the  sis- 
ters were  not  what  they  ought  to  have  been; 
or  to  have  been  kept  at  schools  where  there 
were  none  but  our  sex. 

I  beseech  every  young  female  reader  to 
make  herself  acquainted,  as  far  as  she  pos- 
sibly can,  with  the  nature  of  her  influence, 
and  the  consequent  responsibilities  which  de- 
4 


33  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

volve  upon  her.  Let  her  understand  that  the 
day  has  gone  by  in  which  physical  force  was 
supposed  to  rule  the  world.  Moral  influence 
is  now  the  order  of  the  day;  and  they  whose 
moral  influence  is  most  weighty  and  powerful, 
are  they  who  most  effectually  bear  rule.  But 
as  it  is  reserved  for  woman,  when  sensible, 
enlightened,  virtuous  and  pious.,  to  exercise  the 
most  weighty  moral  influence,  consequently  it 
is  her  province  most  effectually  to  bear  rule. 
Kings,  and  emperors,  and  presidents,  parlia- 
ments, and  congresses,  and  assemblies,  and 
courts,  and  legislators,  and  judges,  may  labor 
in  vain  to  influence  or  to  reform  mankind,  so 
long  as  female  influence  is  not  what  it  should 
be.  But  let  females  be  rightly  educated,  and 
let  them  do  what  a  good  education  will  enable 
them  to  do,  and  vice  will  ere  long  hang  her 
head,  and  virtue  and  piety — which  alone  exalt 
a  nation,  or  the  individuals  that  compose 
it — will  resume  their  sway.  Then  will  the 
wilderness  and  the  solitary  place  be  glad,  and 
the  desert  rejoice  and  blossom  as  the  rose. 


CHAPTER   III. 


SELF-EDUCATION. 

Views  of  Agesilaus,  king  of  Sparta — of  Solomon,  king  of 
Israel.  Mistake  corrected.  What  the  wisest  and  best 
parents  cannot  do.  "What,  therefore,  remains  to  the 
daughter.  Necessity  of  self-education.  The  work  of 
self-education  the  work  of  life — a  never-ending  progress 
upward  to  the  throne  of  God. 

Woman,  then,  now  so  often  miseducated, 
must  be  trained  in  the  way  she  should  go. 
But  let  us  consider  a  little  more  in  detail  what 
this  education  or  training  of  woman  should  be, 
and  what  it  should  accomplish. 

When  Agesilaus,  king  of  Sparta,  Was  asked 
what  things  he  thought  most  proper  for  boys 
to  learn,  he  replied — "Those  which  they 
ought  to  practise  when  they  come  to  be  men." 
Nor  does  this  essentially  differ  from  the  direc- 
tion of  Solomon,  which  has  been  quoted. 

If  females  do,  in  effect,  rule  the  world, 
they  ought,  as  I  have  before  said,  to  be 
trained  to   sway  the  sceptre  of  moral  rule  in 


40  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

the  right  manner.  If  they  now  stand  in  the 
same  position,  as  regards  the  world  and  the 
world's  happiness,  with  that  which  boys  were 
supposed  to  occupy  in  the  days  of  Agesilaus, 
and  if  this  thing  was  correct  in  his  opinion, 
then  it  follows  that  a  proper  answer  to  the 
question,  What  things  are  most  proper  for 
girls  to  learn?  would  be — Those  which  they 
ought  to  practise  when  they  come  to  be 
women. 

But  it  will  not  be  forgotten  that  the  defini- 
tion I  have  given  of  the  term  education  in- 
cludes much  more  than  merely  direct  efforts 
to  teach.  Whatever  affects  the  health  or  the 
progress  of  body,  mind  or  soul,  even  though 
it  were  that  in  which  the  individual  is  mostly 
passive,  as  in  sleep,  is  a  part  of  our  education. 

There  is  one  point  in  which  the  views  of 
Agesilaus  concerning  education,  if  not  incor- 
rect, are  at  least  defective.  He  appears  to 
countenance  an  idea,  still  very  prevalent,  that 
children  and  youth  are  not  only  in  a  state  of 
preparation  for  the  future,  but  a  state  of  prepa- 
ration, merely. 

They  are  to  be  taught  what  they  ought 
to  practise  when  they  come  to  be  men,  ac- 
cording  to    Agesilaus;    but  they    are   to   be 


SELF-EDUCATION.  41 

trained  in  the  way  they  should  go,  according 
to  one  who  was  wiser  than  he.  The  latter  view 
comes  nearer  the  truth  of  the  case  than  the 
former.  It  requires,  or  at  least  permits  us, 
to  train  up  the  child  to-day  for  the  enjoyments 
of  to-day,  as  well  as  for  those  of  to-morrow — 
a  point  which  the  maxim  of  Agesilaus  does 
not  seem  to  include. 

Young  people  are  taught,  almost  univer- 
sally— by  example,  if  not  by  precept — to  con- 
sider merit,  if  not  virtue  and  happiness,  as 
belonging  exclusively  to  maturity.  They 
are  not  enough  assured  that  youth,  though  a 
state  of  preparation  and  trial,  is  also  a  state 
of  reward;  and  that  neither  usefulness  nor 
happiness  is  confined  to  place,  age,  or  cir- 
cumstances. 

I  wish  to  see  the  day  arrive  when  the  young 
— young  women,  especially — will  not  look  for- 
ward so  much  to  a  distant  day  and  to  distant 
circumstances,  for  a  theatre  of  action,  and  for 
the  rewards  of  action,  as  they  are  accustomed 
to  do;  for  they  thus  deprive  themselves  of  a 
vast  amount  of  happiness  which  is  due  them 
in  the  present,  without  in  the  least  enhancing 
the  value  or  the  pleasures  of  the  future. 

I  wish  to  see  them   so  educated  that  they 
4* 


42  THE  young  woman's  guide. 

will  not  only  be  what  they  should  be,  when  they 
come  to  adult  age,  but  also  what  they  should 
be  now.  They  have  or  should  have  a  charac- 
ter to  acquire  now;  a  reputation  to  secure  and 
maintain  now;  and  a  sphere  of  personal  use- 
fulness and  happiness. to  occupy  now. 

It  is  true,  indeed,  that  childhood  and  youth 
are  more  specially  seasons  of  preparation, 
and  less  specially  seasons  of  reward,  than 
maturer  and  later  life-;  but  it  is  also  equally 
true,  that  every  stage  of  life,  not  excepting  its 
very  evening,  is  little  more  than  a  prepara- 
tion for  a  still  higher  state,  where  reward  will 
predominate  in  a  degree  which  will  make  all 
previous  preparation  seem  to  dwindle  almost 
to  nothing. 

Existence,  in  short,  is  a  state  of  progress; 
having,  at  every  step,  so  far  as  we  know,  its 
trials  and  rewards — the  rewards  always,  how- 
ever, predominating,  and  the  trials  diminish- 
ing, in  proportion  as  personal  holiness  renders 
the  latter  unnecessary. 

It  will  happen,  unavoidably,  that  many  young 
women  to  whom  this  little  volume  may  come, 
will  have  been  trained  up,  to  the  time  of  cast- 
ing their  eyes  on  these  pages,  in  the  old  fash- 
ioned  belief  to  which  I  have   alluded— viz., 


SELF-EDUCATION.  43 

that  they  can  neither  do  nor  be  much  in  the 
world,  except  to  submit  passively  to  certain 
processes  which  have  received  the  name  of 
education,  till  their  arrival  at  a  certain  size  or 
age.  The  fault,  reader — if  such  should  be 
the  case — is  not  chargeable,  solely,  on  your 
parents.  They  followed  a  custom  which  they 
found;  they  did  not  make  it.  But  however 
this  may  be,  it  is  clear  that  your  great  object 
should  now  be,  to  see  what  you  can  do  for 
yourself. 

Now,  then,  here  you  are,  twelve,  fourteen, 
perhaps  sixteen  years  of  age.  Your  parents 
have  brought  you  up  according  to  the  existing 
customs,  for  the  future.  They  have  not 
sought  to  make  you  feel  your  present  respon- 
sibilities, your  present  power  to  do  good,  your 
present  capacity  for  communicating  and  se- 
curing happiness,  so  much  as  to  make  you 
believe  there  are  responsibilities,  and  pow- 
ers, and  capacities,  and  rewards,  to  be  yours 
when  you  come  to  be  large  enough  and  old 
enough  to  appreciate  or  receive  them. 

But  whatever  your  parents  may  have  left 
undone  in  regard  to  the  formation  of  your 
character,  it  is  yours  to  do.  Need  I  urge  the 
necessity  of  the  case?     The  present  is  an  ex- 


44  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

ceedingly  important  period  of  your  life;  and 
what  is  to  be  done,  must  be  done"  quickly. 
But  what  your  parents  have  hitherto  left  un- 
done, they  will  be  likely  to  continue  to  leave 
undone.  Unless  you  apply  yourself,  there- 
fore— and  that  immediately — to  the  finishing 
of  a  work,  that,  owing  to  the  circumstances  in 
which  they  have  been  and  still  are  placed, 
and  the  views  they  have  entertained,  they 
have  left  unfinished,  your  education  is  not 
likely  to  be,  by  any  means,  so  perfect  as  it 
should. be.  You  must  take  it  up,  therefore, 
where  they  have  left  it;  and  do,  for  yourself, 
what  they  have  not  done  for  you.  In  other 
words,  you  must  engage,  at  once,  in  the  great 
work  of  self-education. 

It  may,  indeed,  be  the  case,  that  you  are  the 
child  of  parents  who  have  done  their  best,  and 
who  have  done  it  intelligently.  Blessed  is 
the  young  woman  who  has  such  parents,  but 
thrice  blessed  are  the  parents  themselves,,  if 
in  the  performance  of  their  work  they  have 
the  co-operation  of  the  daughter.  There 
must  be  self-education  even  where  there  are 
the  best  of  parents.  In  fact,  the  work  of  pa- 
rental training  and  that  of  self-education, 
should  go  on  together;   they  cannot  well  be 


SELF-EDUCATION.  45 

separated.  Parental  effort  will  produce  but 
halt*  its  legitimate  results,  when  not  seconded 
by  the  efforts  of  infancy  and  childhood,  and 
especially  of  youth.  The  reasons  for  this  are 
so  obvious  that  they  hardly  need  to  be  re- 
peated. No  young  woman  can  be  constantly 
in  the  company  of  her  mother  ;  no  mother 
can  constantly  watch  over  her  daughter.  In 
the  best  families  there  are  hours  of  each  day, 
when  the  child  of  every  age,  especially  of 
youthful  age  and  capacity,  must  be  left  to  her- 
self or  to  the  influence  of  others.  What,  then, 
is  to  become  of  her  ?  Is  she  to  yield  to  that 
current  of  the  world  which  every  where  sets 
downward? 

You  will  say,  perhaps,  that  she  has  good 
habit  on  her  side,  together  with  the  counsels 
of  good  and  kind  parents.  If  so,  I  say  again, 
she  is  highly  favored.  But  what  if  it  happen 
to  be  otherwise  ?  What  if  the  parents  happen 
not  to  be  wise  and  discriminating,  or  seem 
unable  to  find  time,  in  the  bustle  of  a  busy 
world,  to  do  that  which  they  know  it  were  de- 
sirable to  do  ?     What  then  ? 

I  repeat  the  sentiment,  then:  if  you  have 
the  best  of  parents,  you  are  liable,  at  your 
age,  to  be  thrown,  day  after  day,  into  new 


46  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

and  untried  circumstances — such  as  it  were 
next  to  impossible  for  parents  to  foresee. 
New  feelings  will  arise  unknown  to  yourself, 
and  undiscoverable  by  them.  New  passions 
will  make  their  appearance — new  temptations 
will  solicit — new  trials  will  be  allotted  you. 
In  spite  of  the  best  parental  efforts  at  educa- 
tion, there  will  still  remain  to  you,  a  great 
work  of  se //"-effort. 

To  assist  you  in  it,  is  the  leading  object  of 
this  little  volume.  It  is  not  a  substitute  for 
parental  counsels.  It  is  not  a  substitute  for 
your  own  reflections.  If  it  prove  not  an  aid 
to  parents,  in  their  task,  and  if  it  encourage 
not  the  reflection  and  the  self-efforts  of  the 
young,  it  will  not  accomplish  its  object. 

In  the  preceding  chapter  I  have  endeavored 
to  give  a  general  idea  of  education,  as  I  un- 
derstand and  use  the  term.  In  this  I  have 
shown  that  no  small  part  of  the  great  work  of 
education  devolves,  in  the  best  circumstances 
— and  much  more  in  circumstances  which  are 
unfavorable — upon  the  daughter.  I  have  shown 
that  her  whole  life  is  a  state  of  preparation, 
indeed — but  also,  in  some  measure,  a  state  of 
reward. 

You  perceive  your  own  character  and  hap- 


SELF-EDUCATION.  47 

piness,  for  time  and  for  eternity,  to  be  placed, 
in  no  small  degree  and  measure,  in  your 
own  hands — the  efforts  of  parents,  friends 
and  teachers  to  the  contrary  notwithstanding. 
You  perceive  the  formation  of  that  character, 
by  the  combined  efforts  of  your  parents  and 
others  and  yourself,  to  constitute  the  work  of 
your  education.  You  perceive  yourself  ca- 
pable— at  least  I  hope  you  do — of  everlasting 
progress;  of  approaching  the  great  source  of 
Light,  and  Truth,  and  Knowledge,  and  Excel- 
lence, forever  and  ever,  though  without  the 
possibility  of  attaining  it.  You  perceive  that, 
though  allied  on  the  one  side  to  the  dust  you 
tread  on,  you  are  allied  on  the  other  side  to 
heaven;  that  though  connected  by  ties  of 
consanguinity  to  the  worm,  you  are  also  con- 
nected, or  may  be,  with  angels  and  archan- 
gels, and  cherubim  and  seraphim,  in  the 
glorious  work  of  unceasing  progress  upward 
toward  the  throne  of  God.  Will  you  not,  then, 
hail  with  joy,  every  effort  of  every  being 
who  would  assist  your  spirit  in  its  upward 
flight? 

To  educate  yourself — to  make  progress — 
to  ascend  toward  the  Eternal  Throne, — you 
must    know    yourself — the    laws    within    and 


48 


without  you — your  relations,  by  means  of 
those  laws,  to  other  things  and  other  beings — 
your  powers,  your  capacities,  your  preroga- 
tives. You  must,  moreover,  know  how  to 
govern  yourself  in  accordance  with  your 
knowledge. 


CHAPTER  IV. 


LOVE  OF   IMPROVEMENT. 

Female  capabilities.  Doing  every  thing  in  the  best  possible 
manner.  Unending  progress.  Every  person  and  every 
occupation  susceptible  of  improvement,  indefinitely.  Do- 
ing well  what  is  before  us.  Anecdote  illustrative  of  this 
principle.  Personal  duties.  Two  groat  classes  of  persons 
described.     Hopes  of  reaching  the  ears  of  the  selfish. 

I  have  already  said  that  you  are  capable 
of  never-ending  progress  in  knowledge  and 
excellence,  and  that  it  is  alike  your  interest 
and  your  duty  to  aspire  to  that  perfection  for 
which  God  has  given  you  capabilities.  The 
object  of  the  present  chapter  is  to  kindle 
within  you  a  desire  to  make  progress  in  every 
thing  you  do — to  go  on,  as  the  Scripture  ex- 
presses it,  to  perfection. 

"Whatever  is  worth  doing,  is  worth  doing 

well,"  is  an  old  but  true  maxim.     More  than 

even   this  might   be   affirmed.     Whatever    is 

worth  doing  at  all,  is  worth  doing  in  the  best 

5 


50  THE    YOUXG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

possible  manner.  No  matter  how  well  you 
have  done  the  same  thing  heretofore;  no 
matter  how  much  more  perfectly  you  already 
do  it  than  your  neighbors.  You  are  not  to 
make  the  past  of  your  own  experience,  or  the 
present  of  your  neighbor's,  the  measure  of 
your  conduct.  The  question  is — How  well 
can  I  perform  this  particular  act  now? 

Perhaps  no  person  who  reads  these  para- 
graphs, will  doubt  the  truth  of  the  general 
principle  I  have  laid  down.  Thus  far,  it  may 
be  said,  all  seems  to  be  correct.  We  are, 
indeed,  bound  to  do  every  thing  we  do,  to  the 
glory  of  God;  and  he  can  hardly  be  glorified 
in  the  doing  of  a  thing  in  a  manner  which  is 
short  of  the  best  in  our  power. 

Yet,  when  we  come  to  apply  the  principle, 
and  say  in  what  particulars  we  should  strive 
to  make  progress  and  do  better,  from  day  to 
day,  and  from  hour  to  hour,  (if  the  thing  is 
to  be  performed  so  often,)  many  an  individual 
will  be  found,  I  fear,  to  stand  back;  and 
among  those  who  thus  shrink  from  the  just  ap- 
plication of  admitted  principle,  will  be  found 
not  a  few  who,  till  now,  supposed  they  had 
within  them  a  strong  desire  for  perpetual 
improvement. 


LOVE    OF    IMPROVEMENT.  51 

It  is,  my  young  friends,  no  trifling  matter  to 
have  burning  within  a  hearty  desire  for  eternal 
progress.  It  is  no  small  thing  to  do  whatever 
your  hands  find  to  do,  which  it  is  lit  that  an 
intelligent  being — one  who  belongs  to  the 
family  of  Christ — should  do,  in  such  a  manner 
that  it  will  contribute  to  the  glory  of  God,  and 
the  good  of  mankind. 

And  yet  less  than  this,  as  christians  or 
even  as  rational  and  immortal  beings,  you 
cannot  do.  I  know,  indeed,  that  many  who 
profess  to  be  the  disciples  of  Christ,  actually 
do  less  than  this.  I  know  there  are  hundreds 
and  thousands  who  are  called  by  his  worthy 
name,  and  who  seem  to  be  almost  above  the 
liabilitvto  do  that  which  could  be  regarded  as 
positively  wrong,  who,  nevertheless,  are  very 
far  from  striving  to  do  every  thing  which  their 
hands  find  to  do  with  all  their  might — or,  in 
other  words,  as  well  as  they  possibly  can. 
But  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  the  standard  of  chris- 
tian character  will  ere  long  be  much  higher 
than  it  is  now. 

It  is  of  far  less  consequence  what  we  do  in 
the  world,  my  young  friends,  than  how  well  we 
do  it.  There  is  hardly  a  useful  occupation 
among  us,  in  which  a  person  may  not  be  emi- 


52  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

nently  serviceable  to  himself  and  to  mankind. 
There  is  hardly  one  in  which  we  may  not 
constantly  improve  ourselves.  There  is  hardly 
one  which  will  not  afford  us  the  means  and 
opportunities  of  improving  others.  There  is 
hardly  an  occupation  which  may  not  itself  be 
essentially  improved. 

I  do  not  mean  to  say  there  is  no  choice  in 
occupations,  either  as  regards  pleasantness  or 
usefulness.  Nor  do  I  mean  to  say,  that  nei- 
ther parents  themselves  nor  their  children,  are 
ever  to  consult  their  own  natural  preferences — 
their  own  likes  and  dislikes.  All  I  aim  at  is, 
to  convince  the  young — especially  the  young 
woman — that  the  old  couplet, 

"  Honor  and  shame  from  no  condition  rise ; 
Act  well  your  part,  there  all  the  honor  lies  " — 

is  not  so  very  far  from  the  truth,  as  many  sup- 
pose; and  that  happiness,  and  even  usefulness 
and  excellence,  are  as  little  dependent  on 
place  and  condition,  as  honor  and  shame. 

A  mercantile  man  with  whom  I  was  once 
acquainted,  gave  me,  in  few  words,  a  very 
important  lesson.  He  said  he  made  it  the 
rule  of  his  life  to  do,  in  the  best  possible 
manner,  whatever  at  any  time  seemed,  as  a 


LOVE    OF    IMPROVEMENT.  53 

subject  of  duty,  to  devolve  upon  him.  No 
matter  about  his  own  likes  or  dislikes — what 
appeared  to  be  in  the  course  of  the  dispen- 
sations of  Providence  allotted  him  for  the 
day,  he  performed  with  all  his  heart.  If  he 
should  conclude  to  pursue  his  present  busi- 
ness for  life,  as  the  means  of  procuring  a 
livelihood,  this  would  be  the  very  best  course 
of  preparation;  if  otherwise,  it  was  the  best 
under  the  circumstances;  and  especially  was 
it  the  best  state  of  mental  and  moral  disci- 
pline with  which  he  could  be  furnished. 

To  neglect  the  business  before  us  because 
we  are  unhappy  in  it,  or  at  least  not  so  happy 
as  we  fancy  we  might  be  in  some  other  em- 
ployment, is  to  oppose  the  plans  of  Provi- 
dence ;  nay,  even  to  defeat  our  own  purpose. 
It  is  to  disqualify  ourselves,  as  fast  as  we  can, 
for  faithfulness,  and  consequently  for  useful- 
ness, in  the  employment  we  desire,  should  we 
ever  attain  to  it.  The  wisest  course  is,  to  do 
what  our  hands  find  before  them  to  do,  pro- 
vided it  is  lawful  to  do  it  at  all,  with  all  our 
might. 

The  best  possible  preparation  a  young  wo- 
man can  have  for  a  sphere  of  action  more 
congenial  to  her  present  feelings,  is  the  one 
5* 


54  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

she  now  occupies.  She  has,  at  least,  duties 
to  herself  to  perform.  Let  these,  as  they  re- 
cur, be  performed  in  the  best  possible  man- 
ner; and  let  the  utmost  effort  always  be  made 
to  perform  every  thing  a  little  better  than  ever 
she  performed  it  before — if  it  be  but  the 
washing  of  a  few  cups  or  the  making  of  a  bed. 
What  her  personal  duties  are,  generally, 
need  not  now  be  said:  first,  because  many  of 
them  are  obvious;  secondly,  because  they  will 
be  treated  of  in  their  respective  places.  But 
it  should  ever  be  borne  in  mind,  that  there  is 
nothing  ever  so  trifling,  which  is  worth  doing 
at  all,  that  may  not  be  done  better  and  better 
at  every  repetition  of  the  act;  and  that  there 
is  no  occupation  which  may  not,  in  itself,  be 
improved  indefinitely. 

Rising  in  the  morning,  devotion,  personal 
ablutions,  dressing,  breakfasting,  exercise, 
employments,  recreations,  dining,  conversa- 
tion, reading,  reflection — all  these,  and  a 
thousand  other  things  which  every  one,  as  a 
general  rule,  attends  to — may  be  performed  in 
a  manner  to  correspond  more  and  more  with 
the  Scripture  direction  which  has  been  illus- 
trated. 

There  are,  in  respect  to  what  I  am  now 


LOVE    OF    IMPROVEMENT.  55 

mentioning,  two  classes  of  persons  in  the 
world — of  females  as  well  as  males;  and  they 
differ  from  each  other  as  widely,  almost,  as 
the  world  of  happiness  from  the  world  of 
misery.  One  of  these  classes  lives  to  receive; 
is  selfish — supremely  so.  The  other  lives  to 
communicate,  more  or  less — to  do  good — to 
make  the  world  around  it  better.  The  last 
class  is  benevolent. 

A  person  of  either  class  is  not  necessarily  in- 
dolent or  inactive;  but  the  end  and  aim  of  the 
labors  of  one,  are  herself;  while  the  other  labors 
for  God  and  mankind.  The  one  procures 
honey  from  every  flower — formed  by  other 
hands — but  not  a  flower  does  she  ever  raise 
by  the  labor  of  her  own  hands,  if  she  can 
possibly  avoid  it. 

The  one  lives  only  to  enjoy;  the  other, 
to  be  the  continual  cause  of  joy,  like  her 
Creator.  The  latter  has  a  source  of  happi- 
ness within;  the  former  depends,  for  her  hap- 
piness, on  others.  Leave  her  alone,  or  amid 
a  frowning  or  even  an  indifferent  world,  and 
she  is  miserable. 

Would  that  I  could  reach  the  ears  of  that 
numerous  class  who  are  dependent  on  the 
world  around  them  for  their  happiness — who 


56  THE    YOUXG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

never  originated  any  good,  and  are  becoming 
more  and  more  useless  every  day!  Would  that 
I  could  make  them  believe  that  true  happiness 
is  not  to  be  found  externally,  unless  it  first 
exist  in  their  own  bosoms!  Would  that  I 
could  convince  them  that  the  royal  road  to 
happiness — if  there  be  one — is  that  which  has 
been  alluded  to  in  the  preceding  paragraphs; 
in  making  all  persons  and  things  around  us 
better — in  transmuting,  as  it  were,  under  the 
influence  of  the  gospel,  all  coarser  things 
around  us  to  "apples  of  gold  in  pictures  of 
silver." 

I  long  exceedingly  to  see  our  young  women 
filled  with  the  desire  of  improvement — physi- 
cal, social,  intellectual  and  moral.  I  long  to 
see  their  souls  glowing  with  the  desire  to  go 
about  doing  good,  like  their  Lord  and  Master. 
Not,  indeed,  literally,  as  I  shall  have  occasion 
to  say  in  another  place.  But  I  long  to  have 
their  hearts  expand  to  overflowing  with  love 
to  the  world  for  whom  Christ  died;  and  I 
wish  to  have  some  of  the  tears  of  their  com- 
passion fall  on  those  over  whom  God  has 
given  them  an  amazing,  and  often  an  unlimited 
influence. 

Could  I  hope  to  reach  a  dozen  minds,  and 


LOVE    OF    IMPROVEMENT.  57 

warm  a  dozen  hearts,  which  had  otherwise 
remained  congealed,  or  at  most  received  pas- 
sively the  little  stream  of  happiness  which  a 
naked,  external  world  affords  them,  without  any 
corresponding  efforts  to  form  a  world  of  their 
own — could  I  be  the  means  of  enkindling  in 
them  that  love  for  everlasting  progress  to- 
wards perfection  which  is  so  essential  to  the 
world's  true  happiness  and  their  own — could 
I  thus  aid  in  setting  in  motion  an  under-cur- 
rent which  should,  in  due  time,  restore  to  us 
Eden,  in  all  its  primitive,  unfallen  beauty  and 
excellence — how  should  I  be  repaid  for  these 
labors! 

I  will  dare  to  hope  for  the  best.  If  I  have 
the  sacred  fire  burning  in  my  own  bosom,  I 
will  hope  to  be  the  means  of  enkindling  it  in 
the  bosom  of  a  few  readers.  If  my  own  soul 
glows  with  love  to  a  fallen  world,  I  will  dare 
to  hope  that  a  few,  at  least,  of  those  whose 
souls  are  more  particularly  made  for  love  and 
sympathy,  will  be  led  to  the  same  source  of 
blessedness. 


CHAPTER   Y. 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE. 

Vast  extent  of  the  science  of  self-knowledge.  Spurious 
self-knowledge.  Knowledge  of  our  physical  frame — its 
laws  and  relations.  Examples  of  the  need  of  this  knowl- 
edge. Instruments  of  obtaining  it.  The  use  of  lectures. 
Study  of  our  peculiarities.  Study  of  mental  philosophy. 
The  Bible.     How  the  Bible  should  be  studied. 

Self-knowledge,  which  is  of  the  greatest 
importance  to  every  human  being,  is  to  none 
more  so  than  to  the  young  woman. 

It  is  the  more  necessary  to  urge  the  impor- 
tance of  self-knowledge,  from  the  fact  that  it 
is  a  species  of  knowledge  which  every  one 
claims,  and  which  she  would  deem  it  almost  a 
reflection  upon  her  character  not  to  be  sup- 
posed to  possess;  while  it  is  that  very  knowl- 
edge of  which  almost  every  one,  of  both  sexes, 
is  exceedingly  ignorant. 

Such    an    one    "understands    himself,"  is 
deemed  quite  a  compliment  among  our  sex; 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  59 

nor  is  it  wholly  disregarded  by  the  other.  But 
by  this  expression  is  too  often  meant  no  more 
than  a  knowledge  of  the  petty  acts  and  shifts, 
and  I  might  say  tricks,  by  means  of  which 
men  and  women  contrive  to  pass  current  in  the 
fashionable  world.  How  much  this  kind  of 
self-acquaintance  is  worth,  is  too  obvious  to 
need  illustration. 

I  have  represented  a  just  self-knowledge 
as  of  very  great  importance ;  but  it  is  a  sci- 
ence of  vast  extent,  as  well  as  of  vast  impor- 
tance. A  thorough  knowledge  of  one's  self 
includes,  first,  a  knowledge  of  man  in  general, 
in  his  whole  character — compounded  as  it  is — 
and  in  all,  his  relations  to  surrounding  beings 
and  things;  and,  secondly,  a  knowledge  of  the 
peculiarities  produced  by  peculiar  circum- 
stances, condition,  mode  of  life,  education 
and  habits. 

She  who  merely  understands  all  the  little 
arts  to  which  1  have  alluded,  which  enable  us 
to  pass  current  with  a  fashionable  and  grossly 
wicked  world,  will  find  her  self-knowledge 
exceedingly  small,  when  she  comes  to  compare 
it  with  the  standard  of  self-acquaintance  set  up 
by  such  writers  as  Mason,  Burgh,  Watts,  &c. ; 
and,  above  all,  when  she  comes  to  compare  it 


60  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

with  the  standard  of  the  Bible.  How  little, 
nay,  how  contemptible  will  all  mere  worldly 
arts  and  shifts  appear — things  which  at  most 
belong  to  the  department  of  manners — when 
she  comes  to  understand  her  three-fold  nature, 
as  exhibited  by  the  natural  and  revealed  laws 
of  Jehovah! 

The  subjects  of  Anatomy,  Physiology  and 
Hygiene  alone — and  they  teach  us  little  more 
than  the  laws  and  relations  of  the  mere  body 
or  shell  of  the  human  being — are  almost  suffi- 
cient for  the  study  of  a  long  life;  and  yet 
no  individual  can  ever  thoroughly  under- 
stand herself  without  them:  it  is  impossible. 
Anatomy  shows  us  the  structure  of  this  body, 
which  the  Psalmist,  long  ago,  taught  us  was 
fearfully  and  wonderfully  made.  Physiology 
teaches  us  the  laws  by  which  the  living  ma- 
chine operates — is  kept  in  play  for  seventy, 
eighty,  or  one  hundred  years;  and  Hygiene 
teaches  us  the  relations  of  the  living,  moving 
human  body  to  surrounding  beings  and  ob- 
jects. This,  indeed,  is  a  knowledge  which  few 
young  women  possess;  and  yet  it  is  a  knowl- 
edge which  no  young  woman  who  would  do 
her  utmost  in  the  work  of  self-education,  can 
dispense  with. 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  61 

She  wishes,  perhaps,  to  improve  her  voice 
by  conversation,  reading  and  singing.  But  is 
she  qualified  to  do  this  in  the  best  possible 
manner,  while  she  is  wholly  ignorant  of  the 
structure  of  the  lungs,  the  wind-pipe,  and  the 
fauces,  as  they  are  called — parts  so  intimately 
concerned  in  the  production  of  voice  and 
speech  ? 

She  wishes,  perhaps,  to  develope  and  in- 
vigorate her  muscular  system  in  the  highest 
possible  degree;  but  how  can  she  do  this, 
while  she  knows  almost  nothing  of  the  nature 
or  power  of  the  muscular  fibre? 

She  wishes  to  develope  and  cultivate  her 
intellectual  powers;  to  acquire  "  firmness  of 
nerve  and  energy  of  thought/'  But  how  can 
she  do  it,  if  she  is  ignorant  of  the  situation  and 
functions  of  the  cerebral  and  nervous  system  — 
that  wonderful  organ  of  the  intellect? 

She  would  train  her  eye  in  the  best  pos- 
sible manner;  but  how  can  she  do  so,  if  she  is 
ignorant  of  the  nature  and  powers  of  that 
wonderful  little  organ?  She  would  educate, 
properly,  all  her  senses;  but  how  can  she  do 
it,  without  a  knowledge  of  their  structure, 
functions  and  relations? 

Perhaps  she  would  study  the  philosophy  of 
6 


62  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

dress,  and  of  eating  and  drinking.  How  can 
she  do  so,  till  she  understands,  intimately,  the 
relation  of  the  human  system  to  air,  heat,  the 
various  kinds  of  food,  drink,  &c.  ? 

She  would  know,  still  further,  the  relation 
of  body  to  mind,  and  of  mind  to  body — of  body 
and  mind  to  spirit,  and  of  spirit  to  body  and 
mind.  She  would  study  the  particular  effect 
of  one  passion,  or  faculty,  or  affection,  upon 
the  body,  or  upon  particular  functions  of  the 
bodily  system — and  the  more  remote  or  more 
immediate  effects  of  diseases  of  a  bodily 
organ  on  mind  and  spirit.  She  must  know  all 
this,  and  a  thousand  times,  yea,  ten  thousand 
times  as  much,  before  she  is  qualified  to  go 
far  in  the  work  of  self-knowledge. 

But  she  must  go  beyond  even  all  this,  and 
study  her  own  peculiarities.  It  is  not  suffi- 
cient to  understand  the  general  laws  and 
relations  of  the  human  economy;  she  must 
understand  herself  in  her  own  individual 
character — physically,  intellectually  and  mo- 
rally. She  must  understand  the  peculiarities 
of  her  physical  frame,  of  her  mental  structure, 
and  of  her  spiritual  condition — her  relation  to 
other  spirits,  particularly  to  the  Father  of 
spirits. 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  63 

How  amazing  and  how  extensive — I  repeat 
it — the  science  of  self-knowledge!  To  be 
perfect  in  it  we  need  the  life  of  a  Methuselah! 
But  something  may  be  done,  even  in  the  short 
period  of  seventy  years.  And  if  it  be  but 
little  that  we  can  do  in  a  life  time,  this  con- 
sideration only  enhances  the  value  of  that 
little. 

Something,  I  have  said,  may  be  done  in  the 
short  period  of  seventy  years.  But  I  might 
say  more.  Something  may  be  done  in  a  single 
day.  And  years  are  made  up  of  days.  A 
little  done,  every  day,  amounts  to  much  in  a 
whole  year. 

Let  not  the  individual  despair  who  can  get 
but  one  new  idea  respecting  herself,  in  a  day. 
If  she  can  sit  down  at  quiet  evening  and  say, 
I  know  something  respecting  myself  which  I 
did  not  know  last  night  at  this  time,  let  her 
be  assured  the  day  is  not  lost.  One  idea  a 
day,  is  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  a  year; 
and  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  a  year, 
amount,  in  seventy  years,  to  twenty-five  thou- 
sand five  hundred  and  fifty.  There  are  those 
who  can  hardly  be  said,  at  seventy  years  of 
age,  to  have  twenty-five  thousand  five  hundred 
and  fifty  ideas  in  their  heads. 


64  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

It  is  a  matter  of  joy  to  every  friend  of  self- 
knowledge,  that  so  many  means  have  been,  of 
late  years,  devised  to  facilitate  the  study  of 
this  science.  The  lectures  which  have  been 
given  to  both  sexes  on  the  structure,  laws  and 
relations  of  their  bodily  constitution,  and  the 
books  which  have  been  written,  have  made  a 
considerable  change  in  the  state  of  the  public 
sentiment  respecting  this  species  of  knowl- 
edge. For  it  is  not  they  alone  who  have 
heard  or  read,  that  have  reaped  the  benefit  of 
hearing  and  reading  on  this  subject.  Many 
a  parent  or  teacher,  aware  that  such  instruc- 
tions and  books  were  abroad,  has  been  en- 
couraged to  the  performance  of  that  which  she 
might  not  have  dared  to  do,  had  nothing  been 
said  or  done  to  encourage  her. 

Every  young  woman  should,  therefore, 
study  these  subjects  for  herself.  Such  books 
as  those  of  Miss  Sedgwick — her  "Poor  Rich 
Man,  and  Rich  Poor  Man,"  and  her  "  Means 
and  Ends  " — will  prepare  the  way,  or  will  at 
least  enkindle  the  desire,  for  the  kind  of 
knowledge  of  which  I  am  speaking.  She  will 
now  desire  to  read  the  works  of  Combe, 
and  perhaps,  ere  long,  seme  of  the  other 
popular   books    of   our   day,  which   treat  of 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  65 

Physiology  and  Hygiene.  May  I  not  venture 
to  hope,  that  at  an  early  stage  of  her  progress, 
some  of  the  chapters  of  this  book  will  be 
found  serviceable,  as  well  as  several  other 
works  I  have  prepared,  especially  the  little 
volume  called  the   "House  I  Live  In?" 

She  who,  having  a  hearty  desire  for  im- 
provement in  self-knowledge,  on  an  extended 
scale,  lets  her  years  pass  without  looking  into 
any  of  the  volumes  or  treatises  to  which  I 
have  referred,  can  hardly  be  said  to  act  up  to 
the  dignity  of  a  christian  of  the  nineteenth 
century. 

But  it  is  not  the  physical  department  of  her 
nature  alone,  that  she  who  has  the  desire 
for*  self-knowledge  and  self-progress,  should 
study.  Such  works  as  those  of  Mason  on 
Self-Knowledge,  Burgh  on  the  Dignity  of 
Human  Nature,  Watts  on  the  Mind,  Opie  on 
Detraction  and  Scandal,  Way  land  on  Moral 
Science,  Skinner  on  the  Religion  of  the  Bible, 
&c.  Sec,  should  not  only  be  perused,  but  care- 
fully studied.  It  is  to  little  purpose,  that  is, 
comparatively,  that  our  physical  nature  is 
attentively  and  assiduously  studied  and  culti- 
vated, if  it  lead  not  to  the  more  intimate  and 
more  earnest  study  of  the  mind  and  spirit. 
6* 


66 


In  this  better  department — the  spiritual — 
permit  me,  once  more,  to  direct  your  attention 
to  the  Bible.  It  should  be  studied  chiefly  with- 
out note  or  comment.  Your  own  good  sense, 
brought  to  bear  upon  its  simple,  unstudied, 
unscholastic  pages,  accompanied  by  that  light 
from  on  high  which  is  ever  vouchsafed  to  the 
simple,  humble  inquirer  and  learner,  will  be 
of  more  value  to  you  than  all  the  notes,  and 
commentaries,  and  dictionaries  in  the  world, 
without  it.  It  is  a  book  which  is  most  admi- 
rably adapted  to  the  progress  of  all  grades  of 
mind — those  which  are  but  little  developed, 
no  less  than  those  which  are  more  highly 
cultivated.  Other  books  speak  to  the  intel- 
lect— to  the  head;  this  speaks  to  the  heart. 
Other  books  often  plead  for  human  nature; 
this  presents  it  just  as  it  is — its  perversity  and 
deformity  on  the  one  side;  its  susceptibilities 
to  improvement,  its  capability  of  excellency, 
on  the  other.  Though  it  reveals  to  us  our 
humble  origin — the  brotherhood  of  worms — 
on  the  one  side,  it  unveils  to  us  our  relation 
to  angels  and  archangels,  on  the  other.  Nay, 
more;  it  not  only  shows  us  our  relation  to  the 
celestial  hosts,  and  to  Him  who  presides  in 
their  midst,  but  it  points  out  to  the  penitent 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  67 

and   the    humble,    the   road  which,    through 
divine  grace,  will  conduct  them  thither. 

I  have  spoken  of  the  study  of  the  Bible 
without  note  or  comment.  Notes  and  com- 
ments, indeed,  after  you  have  made  diligent 
use  of  all  your  own  faculties  and  powers,  and 
sought  thereon  the  blessing  of  God's  Spirit — 
have  their  use.  I  am  exceedingly  fond  of 
them;  and  I  would  not  wholly  deny  to  you 
what  I  am  so  fond  of  myself.  The  danger  is, 
of  leaning  upon  them  too  much.  Scott,  and 
Clark,  and  Henry,  and  Jenks,  and  Calmet, 
and  Barnes,  may  help  to  show  me  the  true 
way  of  finding  out  and  interpreting  the  Scrip- 
ture for  myself;  but  if  I  go  farther,  and  either 
indolently  or  superstitiously  suffer  them  to 
interpret  it  for  me,  it  were  almost  better  that 
I  had  not  sought  their  aid.  But  the  Bible, 
with  or  without  notes,  is — I  repeat  it — the 
great  volume  of  self-knowledge  which  I  urge 
you  to  study,  and  which,  in  comparison  with 
all  the  books  written  by  man,  and  even  the 
great  volume  of  nature  herself,  is  alone  able 
to  make  you  wise  unto  salvation. 

It  seems  to  me  to  have  been  too  seldom  ob- 
served, and  still  more  seldom  insisted  on,  how 
apt  the  love  and  study  of  the  Bible  is  to  awaken 


68 


the  dormant  intellectual  faculties,  and  to  en- 
kindle, even  in  the  aged,  a  desire  for  general 
improvement.  On  this  point,  Mr.  Foster,  in 
his  essay  on  Popular  Ignorance,  has  some 
very  striking  remarks.  In  alluding  to  that 
great  moral  change  which,  it  is  one  object  of 
the  Bible  to  produce,  and  to  the  consequences 
which  often  immediately  follow,  he  thus  re- 
marks: 

"  It  is  exceedingly  striking  to  observe  how 
the  contracted,  rigid  soul  seems  to  soften,  and 
grow  warm,  and  expand,  and  quiver  with  life. 
With  the  new  energy  infused,  it  painfully 
struggles  to  work  itself  into  freedom  from  the 
wrretched  contortion  in  which  it  has  been  so 
long  fixed,  as  by  the  impressed  spell  of  infernal 
magic." 

This  change  in  the  moral  and  religious  man, 
has  been  often  observed;  and  Mr.  Foster, 
therefore,  tells  us  nothing  very  new,  however 
striking  it  may  be.  But  now  for  the  secondary 
effect  wfyich  is  produced  on  the  intellect,  and, 
indeed,  on  the  whole  character: 

"It  (the  soul)  has  been  seen  filled  with  a 
painful  and  indignant  emotion  at  its  own  igno- 
rance; actuated  with  a  restless  desire  to  be 
informed;   acquiring  an  unwonted  applicable- 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  69 

ness  of  its  faculties  to  thought;  attaining  a 
perception  combined  of  intelligence  and  moral 
sensibility,  to  which  numerous  things  are  be- 
coming discernible  and  affecting,  that  were 
as  non-existent  before.  We  have  known 
instances  in  which  the  change — the  intel- 
lectual change — has  been  so  conspicuous, 
within  a  brief  space  of  time,  that  even  an 
infidel  observer  must  have  forfeited  all  claim 
to  a  man  of  sense,  if  he  would  not  make  the 
acknowledgment — This  that  you  call  divine 
grace,  whatever  it  may  really  be,  is  the 
strangest  awakener  of  faculties,  after  all." 

I  have  made  this  quotation,  chiefly  to  con- 
firm the  sentiment  I  have  advanced,  that  the 
love  of  the  Bible  and  the  religion  of  the  Bible, 
actuates  the  soul  with  "a  restless  desire  to 
be  informed,"  and  stimulates  its  faculties  to 
thought,  and  fills  it  with  pain  and  indignation 
at  its  own  ignorance.  This  is  the  state  of 
mind  and  heart  which  I  would  gladly  encour- 
age in  the  reader.  It  is  the  truest  and  best 
foundation  of  all  progress,  not  only  in  self- 
knowledge,  but  in  every  other  sort  of  knowl- 
edge which  is  valuable.  Give  me  but  this 
trait  of  character  in  a  young  woman,  and  I 
will  not  despair  of  her,  however  low  may  be 


<0  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

her  present  condition,  or  how  degraded  soever 
may  have  been  her  former  life.  Give  me  but 
a  hearty  desire,  a  hungering  and  thirsting 
for  improvement — physical,  moral,  intellectu- 
al, social  and  religious — and  I  will  dare  to  be- 
lieve that  the  most  debased  and  depressed  soul 
may  be  restored,  at  least  in  some  good  mea- 
sure, to  that  likeness  to  Jehovah  in  which  it 
was  originally  created. 

One  thing  more,  however,  should  be  re- 
membered. Not  a  few  who  really  have  within 
them  the  desire  of  improvement,  and  who 
mean  to  make  the  Bible  and  its  doctrines 
their  standard,  fail  of  accomplishing  much, 
after  all.  I  will  tell  you  why.  They  measure 
themselves,  continually,  by  their  neighbors. 
If  they  are  no  more  ignorant  or  no  more 
vicious  than  their  neighbors — Misses  S.  and 
L.,  perhaps — or  on  the  other  hand,  if  they 
are  as  wise  and  as  virtuous  as  Miss  R. — they 
seem  to  rest  satisfied.  Or  at  any  rate,  if  they 
make  as  much  progress  in  the  great  path  of 
self-knowledge,  or  do  as  much  good  in  the 
world  as  the  latter,  they  are  anxious  for  no 
more,  and  settle  down  in  inaction. 

Now  every  such  individual  ought  to  know 
that  the  habit  of  measuring  herself  by  others, 


SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  71 

in  this  way,  will  hang  like  a  millstone  about 
her  neck;  and  if  it  do  not  drown  her  in  the 
depths  of  the  sea  of  ignorance  and  imbecility, 
will  at  least  make  her  forever  a  child,  in  com- 
parison with  what  she  should  be.  It  will 
keep  her  grovelling  on  the  earth's  surface, 
when  she  ought  to  be  exploring  the  highest 
heavens.  It  will  keep  her  a  near  neighbor  to 
the  sisterhood  of  worms  on  which  she  treads, 
when  she  ought  to  be  soaring  towards  those 
lofty  heights  which  Gabriel  once  traversed — 
nay,  which  he  even  now  traverses — fast  by 
the  tkrone  of  the  Eternal. 

Le,  her  not  stop,  then,  to  demean,  and  em- 
barrass, and  fetter  herself  by  comparisons  of 
hersef  with  any  thing  finite.  She  has  no 
right  to  do  this.  The  perfection  which  the 
word  of  God  requires,  is  the  standard  or 
measure  by  which  she  should  compare  her- 
self. She  may,  indeed,  sometimes  compare 
herseFwith  herself — her  present  self  with  her 
past  self — provided  it  be  done  with  due  hu- 
mility; but  let  her  beware  of  measuring  her- 
self bj  others.  Such  a  course  is  as  perilous 
as  it  is  ignoble  and  unprofitable. 


CHAPTER  VI. 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. 

Is  there  any  conscientiousness  in  the  world  ?  How  far  con- 
scientiousness should  extend.  Tendency  and  power  of 
habit.  Evils  of  doing'  incessantly  what  we  knov  to  be 
wrong.  Why  we  do  this.  Errors  of  early  edication. 
False  standard  of  right  and  wrong.  Bad  method  d  family 
discipline.  Palsy  of  the  moral  sensibilities.  Particular 
direction  in  regard  to  the  education  of  conscience.  Results 
which  may  be  expected. 

There  is  such  a  want  of  conscientiousness 
among  mankind,  even  among  those  who  are 
professedly  good  people,  that  some  are  almost 
led  to  exclaim,  that  there  is  either  ro  con- 
science in  the  world,  or  that  the  heavenly 
monitor  is  at  least  nowhere  obeyed.  And 
there  is  too  much  foundation  for  such  a  con- 
clusion ? 

While  truth  compels  us  to  admit  that 
Christianity  has  already  done  much  to  wake 
up  the  consciences  of  men,  we  shall  gain 
nothing  by  shutting  our  eyes  to  the  vast  influ- 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  73 

ence  it  has  yet  to  exert,  before  mankind  will 
become  what  they  ought  to  be. 

Most  people  are  conscientious  in  some  things. 
They  may  have  been  so  trained,  for  instance, 
that  they  are  quite  tender  in  regard  to  the 
feelings  of  others,  and  even  those  of  animals. 
There  are  many  who,  with  Cowper,  "would 
not  enter  on  their  list  of  friends  the  man 
who  needlessly  sets  foot  upon  a  worm,"  who 
are  yet  very  far  from  possessing  much  real 
conscientiousness.  Their  feeling  is  better 
entitled  to  the  name  of  sympathy. 

I  grant  that  many  of  these  persons  possess 
something  more  than  mere  tenderness  or  sym- 
pathy. Not  a  few  of  them  are  truly  consci- 
entious in  what  may  be  called  the  larger  con- 
cerns of  life — especially  in  external  religion. 
They  not  only  feel  the  force  of  conscience, 
but  they  obey  her  voice  in  some  things. 
They  would  not  fail  to  attend  to  all  the  out- 
ward rites  of  religion  in  the  most  faithful  man- 
ner, on  any  account  whatever;  and  if  a  failure 
should  occur,  would  find  their  consciences 
reproaching  them  in  the  severest  manner,  for 
their  departures  from  a  known  standard  of 
duty. 

These  persons  regard,  with  a  considerable 
7 


74  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

decree  of  conscientiousness,  the  law  of  the 
land  and  the  law  of  public  opinion,  or  at  least 
the  law  of  fashion.  In  respect  to  any  thing 
which  would  subject  them  to  the  severity  of 
public  remark,  or  which  would  even  be  re- 
garded by  the  coarse,  public  eye,  as  glaringly 
inconsistent  with  their  religious  character, 
they  are  never  wanting  in  sensibility.  Their 
consciences  reproach  them,  when  they  have 
done  or  said  any  thing  which  may  cause  them 
to  be  ill  spoken  of. 

Thus  far,  it  cannot  be  denied  that  there  is 
a  great  deal  of  conscientiousness  in  the  world. 
But  beyond  limits  something  like  these,  it  is 
much  more  rare  than  many  suppose.  To  say 
that  it  does  not  exist  beyond  such  narrow 
limits,  would  be  unjust;  but  it  must  be  admit- 
ted that,  taking  the  world  at  large,  its  exist- 
ence is  so  rare,  as  hardly  to  entitle  it  to  the 
name  of  a  living,  moving,  breathing  principle 
of  action. 

I  do  not  suppose  that  young  women  are 
less  conscientious  than  young  men;  nor  that 
the  young  of  either  sex  are  less  conscientious 
than  their  seniors.  It  would  be  a  novel  if  not 
unheard  of  thing,  to  find  the  youth  without 
conscience,   merging,    in   due  time,   into  the 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  75 

conscientious  octogenarian.  The  contrary  is 
a  more  common  course. 

And  yet  how  few  are  the  young  women  who 
make  it  a  matter  of  conscience  to  perform 
every  thing  they  do — the  smaller  no  less  than 
the  larger  matters  of  life — in  such  a  way  as  to 
meet  the  approbation  of  an  internal  monitor. 
Do  they  not  generally  bow  to  the  tribunal  of  a 
fashionable  world?  Do  they  generally  care 
sufficiently,  in  the  every  day  actions,  words, 
thoughts  and  feelings  of  their  lives,  what  God's 
vicegerent  in  the  soul  says  about  their  con- 
duct?— or  if  they  do  care,  is  it  because  it  is 
right  or  wrong  in  the  sight  of  God — or  of  man? 

A  due  regard  to  the  authority  of  conscience 
would  lead  people,  as  it  seems  to  me,  to  yield 
obedience  to  her  dictates  on  every  occasion. 
They  who  disregard  her  voice  in  one  thing, 
are  likely  to  do  so  in  others.  Who  does  not 
know  the  power  of  habit?  Who  will  deny 
that  the  individual  who  habitually  disregards 
the  voice  speaking  within,  on  a  particular 
subject,  will  be  likely,  ere  long,  to  extend  the 
same  habit  of  disregard  to  something  else; 
and  thus  on  to  the  end  of  the  chapter,  if  life 
continues  lonjj  enough? 

No  one,  it  is  believed,  will  doubt  that  I  have 


76  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

rightly  described  the  tendency  of  habit  in 
large  matters.  He  who  would  allow  himself 
to  steal  from  day  to  day,  unmindful  of  the 
voice  within  which  bids  him  beware,  would 
not  only,  ere  long,  if  unmolested,  come  to  a 
point  at  which  conscience  would  cease  to  re- 
proach him,  but  would  be  likely  to  venture 
upon  other  kinds  of  wrong.  I  have  seen 
those  who  would  steal  habitually  small  things, 
and  yet  would  not  tell  a  lie  for  the  world. 
But  I  have  known  the  habit  of  stealing  con- 
tinue till  lying  also  gradually  came  to  be  a 
habit,  and  was  scarcely  thought  of  as  offensive 
in  the  sight  of  God,  or  as  positively  wrong  in 
the  nature  of  things,  any  more  than  picking 
up  a  basket  of  pebbles.  From  lying,  the 
natural  transition  is  to  profanity — and  so  on, 
till  conscience,  chased  up  and  down  like  the 
last  lonely  deer  of  a  forest,  at  length  ex- 
hausted, drops,  faints  and  dies. 

Few,  I  say,  will  deny  the  tendency  and 
power  of  habit,  in  regard  to  the  larger  matters 
of  life.  But  is  it  sufficiently  known  that  every 
act  which  can  possibly  be  regarded  as  fraudu- 
lent in  the  smallest  degree,  has  the  same  ten- 
dency ? 

There   are  a  thousand  things  that  people 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  77 

do,  which  cannot  be  set  down  as  absolutely 
criminal,  in  the  view  of  human  law,  or  human 
courts,  and  which  are  not  forbidden  in  any 
particular  chapter  or  verse  of  the  divine  law, 
which,  notwithstanding,  are  forbidden  by  the 
spirit  of  both.  Human  law,  no  less  than  divine 
law,  requires  us  to  love  our  neighbor  as  our- 
selves. Is  the  law  obeyed  when  we  make  the 
smallest  approach  to  taking  that  advantage  of 
a  neighbor  which  we  would  not  like  to  have 
taken  of  us  in  similar  circumstances? 

Those  who  admit  and  seem  to  understand 
the  power  of  habit  in  larger  matters,  are  yet 
prone  to  forget  the  tendency  of  the  habitual 
disregard  of  any  right  and  wrong  in  small 
matters.  They  are  by  no  means  ignorant, 
that  large  rivers  are  made  up  of  springs,  and 
rills,  and  brooks;  but  they  do  not  seem  to 
consider  that  the  larger  stream  of  conscien- 
tiousness, must  be  fed  also  by  its  thousand 
tributaries,  or  it  will  never  flow;  or  once 
flowing,  will  be  likely  soon  to  cease.  In  other 
words,  to  be  conscientious — truly  so — in  the 
larger  and  more  important  concerns  of  life, 
we  must  be  habitually,  and  I  had  almost  said 
religiously  so,  in  smaller  matters — in  our  most 
common  and  every  day  concerns. 


78  THE  young  woman's  guide. 

Would  that  nothing  worse  were  true,  than 
that  people  of  all  ranks  and  professions,  and 
of  all  ages  and  conditions,  habitually,  and 
with  less  and  less  compunction  or  regret,  do 
that  which  they  know  they  ought  not  to  do, 
and  leave  undone  that  which  they  very  well 
know  ought  to  be  done.  They  even  seem  to 
justify  themselves  in  it. 

**  I  know  the  right,  and  I  approve  it  too ; 
I  know  the  wrong-,  and  yet  the  wrong  pursue  "— 

is  the  language  of  many  an  individual — even 
of  some  from  whom  we  could  hope  better 
things;  and  not  a  few  charge  it  upon  the 
frailty  of  fallen  nature — as  that  nature  now  is 
— independent  of,  and  in  spite  of  their  own 
efforts!     Strange  infatuation! 

One  way  of  solving  this  great  riddle  in 
human  life  and  conduct — this  incessant  doing 
by  mankind  of  that  which  they  know  they 
ought  not  to  do,  and  neglecting  to  do  that 
which  they  know  ought  to  be  done — may  be 
found  in  the  fact  that  so  few  are  trained  to 
regard,  in  every  thing,  the  sacred  rights  of 
conscience.  They  are  referred  to  other  and 
more  questionable  standards  of  authority. 

If  you  do  so  and  so,  you  will  never  be  a 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  79 

lady,  says  a  mother  who  wishes  to  dissuade 
her  young  daughter  from  doing  something  to 
which  she  is  inclined.  If  you  behave  so, 
every  body  will  laugh  at  you,  says  another. 
If  you  do  not  obey  me,  I  shall  punish  you, 
says  a  third.  If  you  do  n't  do  that,  I  shall 
tell  mother,  says  a  young  brother  or  sister. 
If  you  do  not  do  it,  father  will  give  you 
no  sugar  toys,  when  he  comes  home,  the 
child  is  again  told.  If  you  do  n't  mind  me, 
the  bears  will  come  and  eat  you  up,  says  the 
petulant  nurse  or  maid-servant.  Thus,  in 
one  way  or  another,  and  at  one  time  or  an- 
other, every  motive — love,  fear,  selfishness, 
pleasure,  &c. — is  appealed  to  in  the  education 
of  the  young,  except  that  which  should  be 
chiefly  appealed  to — viz.,  self-approbation,  or 
the  approbation  of  conscience. 

This  is  not  all.  There  is  with  many  of 
these  people  no  settled  rule  as  to  which  sort 
of  actions  are  to  be  the  subjects  of  praise  or  of 
blame.  A  thing  which  must  not  be  done  to-day, 
on  penalty  of  the  loss  of  the  forthcoming  sugar- 
toys,  is  connived  at,  perhaps  with  a  kiss,  to- 
morrow. All  in  the  child's  mind  is  confusion; 
she  knows  not  what  to  do,  were  she  as  docile 
and  as  obedient  as  an  ansel  of  light.     There  is 


80  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

a  long  series  of  actions,  and  words,  and 
thoughts,  and  feelings,  connected  with  right 
and  wrong,  of  which  nothing  is  ever  said, 
except  to  forbid  them,  by  stern  and  absolute 
authority.  That  one  is  good,  and  another  bad, 
except  according  to  the  whim  or  fancy  of  the 
parent  or  teacher,  the  child  never  dreams. 

Of  this  last  class  are  almost  all  the  actions 
of  e very-day  life.  The  child  alluded  to  is 
scolded,  at  times,  for  default  in  matters  which 
pertain  to  rising,  dressing,  saying  prayers,  eat- 
ing, drinking,  playing,  speaking,  running, 
teazing,  or  soiling  their  clothes  or  their  books, 
and  a  thousand  things  too  familiar  to  every 
one  to  render  it  necessary  to  repeat. 

Perhaps  she  eats  too  much,  or  eats  greedily ; 
or  she  inclines  to  be  slovenly,  or  indolent,  or 
fretful.  Now  all  these  things  are  in  general 
merely  forbidden  or  rated,  or  at  most,  shown 
to  be  contrary  to  the  will  of  the  parents. 
They  are  seldom  or  never  shown  to  be  right 
or  wrong,  in  their  own  nature;  nor  is  the 
child  assured,  upon  the  authority  of  the  parent, 
that  there  is  a  natural  right  or  wrong  to  them. 
Thus,  what  is  not  implanted,  does  not,  of 
course,  grow.  All  the  little  actions  and  con- 
cerns of  life,  or  almost  all — and  these  by  their 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  81 

number  and  frequent  recurrence,  make  up 
almost  the  whole  of  a  child's  existence — are, 
as  it  were,  left  wholly  without  the  domain  of 
conscience;  and  the  young  woman  grows  up 
to  maturity  without  a  distinct  conviction  that 
conscience  has  any  thing  to  do  with  them. 

And  "  what  is  bred  in  the  bone,"  according 
to  a  vulgar  maxim,  "  stays  long  in  the  flesh." 
As  is  the  child,  so  is  the  adult.  It  is  one  of 
the  most  difficult  things  in  the  world  to  make 
a  person  conscientious  in  all  things,  who  has 
not  been  trained  to  be  so.  Hence  the  great 
difficulty  in  the  way  of  making  every-day 
christians.  Our  religion  is  thought  by  some  to 
have  nothing  to  do  with  these  ever-recurring 
small  matters.  And  when  we  are  told  that  we 
should  do  every  thing  to  the  honor  and  glory 
of  God,  although  we  may  assent  to  the  propo- 
sition, it  is  hard  to  put  it  in  practice.  There 
is  a  sort  of  moral  palsy  prevailing  in  the  com- 
munity— and  that,  too,  very  extensively. 

No  fatal  error  of  early  education  could  have 
seized  more  firmly,  or  palsied  more  effectually 
the  moral  sensibilities  of  the  whole  commu- 
nity, than  this.  And  therefore  it  is  certain 
that  this  is  at  least  one  principal  reason  why 
there  is  so  little  conscience  in  the  world,  and 


82  THE    Y01TXG    WOMAX's    GUIDE. 

why  it  is  so  often  a  starveling,  wherever  it  is 
found  to  exist. 

I  have  heard  an  eminent  teacher  contend 
with  much  earnestness,  that  there  is  a  great 
multitude  of  the  smaller  actions  of  human  life 
which  are  destitute  of  character — wholly  so. 
They  are,  he  says,  neither  right  nor  wrong. 
But  if  so,  then  is  there  no  responsibility 
attached  to  them;  and,  consequently,  no  con- 
scientiousness required  in  connection  with 
their  due  performance.  But  what,  in  that 
case,  is  to  become  of  the  injunction  of  a  dis- 
tinguished apostle,  when  he  says,  whatever 
you  do,  do  all  to  the  glory  of  God  ?  If  every 
thing  we  do  should  be  done  to  the  glory  of 
God,  and.  not  thus  to  do  it,  is  to  disobey 
a  righteous  precept,  then  there  is  a  right  and 
wrong  in  every  thing.  Which  shall  we  be- 
lieve— the  human  teacher  or  the  divine  ? 

This  origin  of  a  common  error,  I  have 
deemed  it  necessary  for  every  young  woman 
to  understand,  that  she  may  know  how  to 
apply  the  correction,  and  where  to  begin. 
She  should  love  and  respect  her  parents,  even 
if  they  belong  to  the  class  which  has  been 
described.  She  should  consider  the  present 
imperfect    state    of   human    nature,    and    be 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  83 

thankful  for  the  thousand  benefits  she  lias 
received  from  their  hands,  and  the  various 
means  of  improvement  within  her  reach. 

If  she  has  drank  deeply  of  the  desire  for 
improvement,  and  if  she  wishes  to  know  and  to 
reform  herself  as  fast  as  possible,  let  her 
begin,  by  cultivating,  to  the  highest  possible 
degree,  a  sense  of  right  and  wrong,  and  an 
implicit  and  unwavering  obedience  of  the 
right.  • 

Before  closing  this  chapter,  however,  I 
wish  to  present  a  few  illustrations  of  my  mean- 
ing, when  I  say  that  every  thing  should  be 
done  in  a  conscientious  manner.  Perhaps, 
indeed,  I  am  already  sufficiently  understood; 
but  lest  I  should  not  be  by  all,  I  subjoin  the 
following. 

Suppose  a  young  woman  is  in  the  habit  of 
lying  in  bed  late  in  the  morning.  In  view  of 
her  varied  responsibilities  and  of  the  vast  im- 
portance of  rising  early,  and  with  a  strong 
desire  for  continual  improvement,  she  sets  her- 
self to  change  the  habit. 

Now  to  aid  her  in  her  task — for  it  is  no 
light  one — let  her  endeavor  to  consider  the 
whole  matter.  God  gives  us  sleep,  she  will 
perhaps  say  to  herself,  for  the  restoration  of 


84 


our  bodies;  and  all  the  time  really  necessary 
for  this  is  well  employed.  But  I  have  found 
that  I  feel  better,  and  actually  enjoy  myself 
better,  for  the  whole  day  following,  when,  by 
accident  or  by  any  other  means,  I  have  slept 
an  hour  less  than  I  am  accustomed  to  do.  I 
usually  sleep  nine  hours  or  more,  whereas 
I  am  quite  sure  eight  are  sufficient  for  every 
reasonable  purpose. 

Moreover,  if  I  sleep  an  hour  too  much, 
that  hour  is  wasted.  Have  I  a  right  to  waste 
it?  It  is  God's  gift;  is  it  not  slighting  his 
gift,  to  spend  it  in  sleep  ?  Is  it  not  a  sin  ?  And 
to  do  so  day  after  day  and  year  after  year,  is 
it  not  to  make  myself  exceedingly  guilty  in  his 
sight?  One  hour  daily,  saved  for  the  purpose 
of  reading  or  study,  after  a  person  has  really 
slept  enough,  is  equal,  in  sixteen  years,  to  the 
addition  of  a  full  year  to  one's  life.  Can  it 
be  that  I  waste,  in  sleep,  in  fifteen  or  sixteen 
years,  a  whole  year  of  time? 

I  must  do  so  no  longer.  It  injures  my 
complexion;  it  injures  my  health;  it  is  an 
indolent  practice:  but  above  all,  it  is  a  sin 
against  God.  I  am  resolved  to  redeem  my 
time.  And  to  aid  me  in  this  work,  I  am  de- 
termined, if  I  fail  at  any  time,  to  remember 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  85 

this  decision,  and  the  grounds  on  which  it  was 
made.  I  am  resolved  to  pray  and  strive 
against  it. 

She  carries  out  her  decision.  She  finds 
herself  waking  too  late,  occasionally,  it  is 
true.  However,  she  not  only  hurries  out  of 
bed  the  instant  she  wakes,  but  recalls  her  for- 
mer view  of  the  sinfulness  of  her  conduct. 
She  is  no  sooner  dressed,  than  she  asks  par- 
don for  her  transgression,  and  prays  that  she 
may  transgress  no  more.  This  course  she 
continues;  and  thus  her  convictions  of  the 
sinfulness  of  her  former  indolent  habit  and 
waste  of  time  are  deepened.  At  length,  by 
her  persevering  efforts  and  the  assistance  of 
God,  she  gains  the  victory,  and  a  new  and 
better  habit  is  completely  established. 

Just  so  should  it  be  with  any  other  bad 
habit.  Every  young  woman  should  consider  it 
as  a  sin  against  God,  and  should  begin  the  work 
of  reformation  as  a  duty,  not  only  to  herself 
and  to  others,  but  also  and  more  especially  to 
God.  If  it  be  nothing  but  the  error  of  eating 
too  much — which,  by  the  way,  is  not  so  small 
an  error  as  many  seem  to  suppose — let  her 
try  to  regard  it  in  its  true  light,  as  a  trans- 
gression against  the  laws  of  God.  Let  it  be 
8 


86  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    OUIDE. 

so  regarded,  not  merely  once  or  twice,  but 
habitually.  In  this  way  it  will  soon  become — 
as  in  the  case  of  early  rising — a  matter  of 
conscience. 

The  close  of  the  day,  however,  is  a  specially 
important  season  for  cultivating  the  habit  of 
conscientiousness.  Sleep  is  the  image  of 
death,  as  some  have  said;  and  if  so,  we  may 
consider  ourselves  at  bed-time,  as  standing  on 
the  borders  of  the  grave,  where  all  things 
should  look  serious. 

The  "cool  of  the  day"  is  peculiarly  adapted 
to  reflection.  Let  every  one,  at  this  time,  recall 
the  circumstances  of  the  day,  and  consider 
wherein  things  have  been  wrong.  It  was  a 
sacred  rule  among  the  Pythagoreans,  every 
evening,  to  run  thrice  over,  in  their  minds, 
the  events  of  the  day;  and  shall  christians  do 
less  than  the  heathen? 

The  Pythagoreans  did  more  than  culti- 
vate a  habit  of  recalling  their  errors;  they 
asked  themselves  what  good  they  had  done. 
So  should  we.  We  should  remember  that 
it  is  not  only  sinful  to  do  wrong,  but  that 
it  is  also  sinful  to  omit  to  do  right.  The 
young  woman  who  fears  she  has  said  some- 
thing in  regard  to  a  fellow  being  in  a  certain 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  87 

place,  or  in  certain  company,  which  she  ought 
not  to  have  said,  as  it  may  do  that  person 
injury,  should  remember,  that  not  to  have  said 
something,  when  a  favorable  opportunity  of- 
fered, which  might  have  done  a  companion  or 
neighbor  good,  was  also  equally  wrong.  And 
above  all,  she  should  remember,  that  both  the 
commission  and  the  omission  were  sins  against 
that  God  who  gave  her  a  tongue  to  do  good 
with,  and  not  to  do  harm;  and  not  only  to  do 
good  with,  but  to  do  the  greatest  possible 
amount  of  good. 

In  short,  it  should  be  the  constant  practice 
of  every  one  who  has  the  love  of  eternal  im- 
provement strongly  implanted  in  her  bosom,  to 
consider  every  action  performed,  during  the 
day,  as  sinful,  when  it  has  not  been  done  in 
the  best  possible  manner,  whether  it  may  have 
been  one  thing  or  another.  As  I  have  stated 
repeatedly  elsewhere,  there  is  nothing  worth 
doing  at  all,  which  should  not  be  done  to  the 
honor  and  glory  of  God;  and  she  who  would 
attain  to  the  highest  measure  of  perfection, 
should  regard  nothing  as  done  in  this  manner, 
which  is  not  done  exactly  as  God  her  Saviour 
would  have  it  done. 

It  is  desirable  not  only  to  avoid  benumbing 


88  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

or  searing  over  the  conscience,  but  that  we 
should  cultivate  it  to  the  highest  possible  ten- 
derness. True,  these  tender  consciences  are 
rather  troublesome;  but  is  it  not  better  that 
they  should  torture  us  a  little  now,  than  a 
great  deal  hereafter? 

I  have  said  that  some  good  people — that  is, 
those  who  are  comparatively  good — fall  short 
in  this  matter.  A  young  woman  is  a  teacher, 
perhaps,  in  a  Sabbath  school.  She  knows,  full 
well,  the  importance  of  attending  promptly  at 
the  appointed  hour;  and  she  makes  it  a  point 
thus  to  attend.  At  last  she  fails,  on  a  single 
occasion — not  from  necessity,  but  from  negli- 
gence, or  at  least  from  want  of  due  care — and 
her  conscience  at  once  reproaches  her  for  her 
conduct.  But,  ere  long,  the  offence  is  re<- 
peated.  The  reproaches  of  her  conscience, 
though  felt  now,  have  become  less  keen.  The 
offence  is  repeated,  again  and  again,  till  con- 
science is  almost  seared  over — and  the  omis- 
sion of  what  had  at  first  given  great  pain, 
almost  ceases  to  be  troublesome.  And  thus 
the  conscience,  having  been  blunted  in  one 
respect,  is  the  more  liable  to  be  so  in  others. 
Alas  for  the  individual,  who  is  thus,  from  day 
to  day,  growing  worse,  and  yet  from  day  to 
day  becoming  less  sensible  of  it! 


CONSCIENTIOUSNESS.  89 

But  there  is  a  worse  case  than  I  have  yet 
mentioned.  A  young  woman  has  risen  rather 
late  on  Sunday  morning;  and  having  risen 
late,  other  things  are  liable  to  be  late.  The 
hour  for  church  is  at  length  near;  the  bell  is 
even  ringing.  Something  in  the  way  of  dress, 
not  very  necessary  except  to  comply  with 
fashion,  and  yet  on  the  whole  desirable,  re- 
mains to  be  done  during  the  remaining  five 
minutes;  but  what  is  more  important  still,  the 
habit  of  secret  prayer  for  five  minutes  before 
going  to  church,  is  uncomplied  with.  One  of 
these,  the  closet  or  the  dress,  must  be  neg- 
lected for  want  of  time.  Does  any  one  doubt 
which  it  will  be  ?  Does  any  one  doubt  that  the 
dress  will  receive  the  desired  attention,  and 
that  the  closet  will  be  neglected? 

Does  any  one  suppose  that  conscientious- 
ness can  live  and  flourish  where  it  is  not  only 
not  cultivated,  but  is  even  habitually  violated, 
in  regard  to  the  most  sacred  matters?  Se- 
cret prayer  is  one  of  the  most  sacred  duties; 
and  they  who  habitually  neglect  or  violate  it, 
for  the  sake  of  doing  that  which  is  of  secondary 
importance — knowing  it  to  be  so — are  not 
only  taking  the  sure  course  to  eradicate  all 
conscientiousness  from  their  bosoms,  but  are 
8* 


90  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

most  manifestly  preferring  the  world  to  God, 
and  the  love  and  service  of  the  world,  to  the 
love  and  service  of  its  glorious  Creator  and 
Redeemer. 

Let  me  say,  in  concluding  this  chapter,  that 
if  the  conscience  is  cultivated  from  day  to 
day,  it  will,  in  time,  acquire  a  degree  of  ten- 
derness and  accuracy  to  which  most  of  the 
world  are  entire  strangers.  There  is,  how- 
ever, one  thing  more.  Conscience  will  not 
only  become  more  tender  and  faithful,  but 
her  domain  will  be  enlarged — greatly  so — by 
the  study  of  the  Bible;  and  in  many  cases 
in  which  this  heavenly  monitor  was  once 
silent,  she  will  now  utter  her  warning  voice. 
Conscience  is  not  unalterable,  as  some  sup- 
pose: she  is  susceptible  of  elevation  as  long 
as  we  live ;  and  happy  is  the  individual  who 
elevates  her  to  her  rightful  throne.  Happy 
is  the  individual  who  sees  things  most  nearly 
as  God  sees  them,  and  whose  conscience 
condemns  her  in  every  thing  which  is  contrary 
to  the  divine  will. 


CHAPTER  VII. 


SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

What  self-government  includes.  Cheerfulness  a  duty.  Dis- 
cretion. Modesty.  Diffidence.  Courage.  Vigilance. 
Thoughts  and  feelings.  The  affections.  The  temper. 
The  appetites  and  passions. 

This  is  so  broad  a  subject  that  I  shall  pre- 
sent my  thoughts  concerning  it  under  several 
different  heads.  It  includes,  in  my  estimation, 
the  government  of  the  thoughts,  the  imagi- 
nation, the  temper,  the  affections,  and  the 
appetites.  The  young  woman  who  truly 
governs  herself,  will  be  at  once  cheerful,  dis- 
creet, modest,  diffident,  vigilant,  courageous, 
active,  temperate  and  happy. 

Cheerfulness. — Is  cheerfulness  within  our 
power?  some  may  be  inclined  to  ask.  I  cer- 
tainly regard  it  so.  That  there  are  moments 
of  our  lives — nay,  even  considerable  seasons — 
when  cheerfulness  is  not  required,  may, 
indeed,  be  true.     Our  friends  sicken  and  die, 


92  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

and  we  mourn  for  them.  This  is  a  law  of  our 
nature.  Even  our  Saviour  was,  at  times,  a  man 
of  sorrows  and  acquainted  with  grief;  though 
of  all  individuals  in  the  universe  cheerfulness 
was  his  right.  But  he  bore  more  than  his  own 
sorrows;  and  in  so  far  as  his  example  is,  in 
this  respect,  binding  upon  us,  it  is  only  when 
we  bear  the  sorrows  of  others.  Those  should, 
indeed,  often  be  borne;  and  in  proportion  as 
they  are  borne — in  proportion  as  we  are 
wounded  for  the  transgressions,  and  bruised 
for  the  iniquities  of  others — it  may  not  be 
possible  for  us  to  be  continually  cheerful. 

As  for  our  own  sorrows — the  sufferings,  the 
pangs,  the  bereavements  of  our  own  exist- 
ence— we  should  never  cease  to  regard  them, 
in  some  measure  at  least,  as  the  chastisements 
of  an  Almighty  Father.  Smitten  friends,  ac- 
cording to  the  sentiment  of  a  distinguished 
poet,  are  messengers  of  mercy  to  us — are 
sent  on  errands  full  of  love. 

"  For  us  they  sicken,  and  for  us  lliey  die." 

We  should  be  at  least  resigned,  even  under 
such  chastisements,  when  we  remember  they 
are  inflicted  by  a  Father's  hand. 

But  setting  aside  occasions  of  this  kind,  is 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  93 

there  not  a  demand  on  our  whole  nature,  for 
general  cheerfulness  ?  It  is  not  only  the 
"sunshine  of  the  soul,"  but  that  of  the  body. 
The  truly  cheerful  are  not  only  happier  in 
their  minds  and  spirits,  but  also  in  their  very 
bodies.  The  brain  and  nervous  system  play 
better  their  part  in  the  great  drama  of  physical 
life;  the  heart,  and  stomach,  and  lungs,  work 
better.     Indeed,  all  is  better  throughout. 

Is  not  that  a  duty  which  is  productive  of  so 
much  happiness?  But  can  that  be  a  duty 
which  is  not  in  our  power?  It  were  surely 
an  impeachment  of  the  wisdom  and  goodness 
of  God,  did  he  require,  in  his  providence 
or  in  his  word — by  his  natural  or  his  revealed 
law — that  we  should  do  that  of  which  we  are 
incapable. 

I  consider  cheerfulness,  then,  as  a  matter  Of 
duty;  and  of  course,  as  in  a  great  measure  in 
our  power.  It  makes  us  happier  ourselves; 
it  enables  us  to  reflect  more  happiness  on 
others.  I  consider  it  especially  as  a  duty  of 
the  young,  who  have  it  in  their  power  to  com- 
municate happiness  thereby  in  such  large 
measure.  Let  them — let  young  women  espe- 
cially— strive  to  cultivate  it.  It  is  in  its  na- 
ture a  perennial  plant;   and  if  it  is  not  such  at 


94  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

the  present  time,  it  is  because  it  has  degene- 
rated in  a  degenerate  world.  Let  it  be  re- 
stored to  its  pristine  beauty ;  and  let  the  world 
thereby — in  connection  with  other  means 
tending  to  the  same  end — be  restored  to  what 
it  was  before  the  loss  of  Eden. 

Discretion. — This  is  a  virtue  which  it  is 
supposed  by  some,  that  the  young  have  little 
if  any  thing  to  do  with.  I  cannot  assent  to 
such  an  opinion.  I  believe  that  the  young  are 
to  be  trained  in  the  way  they  should  go;  and 
as  discretion  is  prominently  a  virtue  of  middle 
and  later  life,  I  deem  it  desirable  that  we  should 
see  at  least  the  germs  of  it,  in  the  young. 

Above  all  do  I  like  to  see  the  young  woman 
discreet.  Discretion  not  only  heightens  the 
pleasures  of  existence  with  herself,  but  adds 
greatly  to  her  reputation  in  the  just  estimation 
of  the  wise.  Coupled  with  modesty,  of  which 
I  am  to  speak  presently,  it  more  than  doubles 
her  charms. 

Let  discretion  then  be  studied.  Let  it  be 
studied,  too,  for  its  immediate  as  well  as  re- 
mote benefits.  It  will,  indeed,  bear  fruit 
more  abundantly  in  later  life;  but  it  will  not 
be  without  its  value  in  youth.     It  will  abund- 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  95 

antly  repay  the  cost  of  cultivation  even  in  the 
present,  but  much  more  in  the  future.  It  is 
a  plant  which  it  were  worth  while  to  raise,  if 
human  existence  were  more  frail,  and  life 
more  uncertain  of  continuance  than  it  now  is. 

Modesty. — Of  all  the  qualities  appropriate 
to  young  women,  I  know  of  none  which  is  more 
universally  esteemed  than  modesty.  And  what 
has  been,  by  common  consent,  so  highly  es- 
teemed, I  cannot  find  it  in  my  heart  to  under- 
value. Indeed,  I  do  not  think  it  has  ever 
been  over-valued,  or  that  it  can  be. 

I  have  been  somewhat  amused — not  to  say 
instructed — by  the  following  remarks  on  this 
trait  of  female  character,  from  the  pen  of  one 
who  is  not  only  a  philosopher,  but  a  physiolo- 
gist.* They  are  not  the  more  interesting, 
perhaps,  because  they  are  somewhat  new; 
but  neither  are  they  less  so.  As  I  have  no- 
thing else  to  say  on  this  topic,  which  has  not 
been  said  a  thousand  times,  I  transcribe  the 
more  freely,  the  thoughts  of  the  author  to 
whom  I  refer. 

•Alexander  Walker,  the  author  of  several  British  works 
connected  with  the  subject  of  physical  education  and  physical 
improvement. 


96  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

"Modesty  establishes  an  equilibrium  be- 
tween the  superiority  of  man  and  the  deli- 
cacy of  woman;  it  enables  woman  to  insure 
thereby  for  herself,  a  supporter — a  defender. 
And  while  man  thus  barters  his  protection  for 
love,  woman  is  a  match  for  his  power;  and 
the  weaker,  to  a  great  extent,  governs  the 
stronger." 

"It  is  probable  that  modesty  derives  its 
cause  in  woman,  from  a  certain  mistrust  in 
her  own  merit,  and  from  the  fear  of  finding 
herself  below  that  very  affection  which  she  is 
capable  of  exciting,  and  of  which  she  is  the 
object.  *  *  *  Modesty  compels  her  love 
to  assume  that  form  by  which  nature  has 
taught  her  so  universally  to  express  it — that 
of  gratitude,  friendship,  &c.  *  *  *  Mod- 
esty is  a  means  of  attraction  with  which  na- 
ture inspires  all  females." 

Under  this  head  I  will  just  add,  that  since  by 
modesty  the  weaker  govern  the  stronger,  it  is 
of  immense  importance  that  woman  should 
know  the  true  secret  of  maintaining  her 
power;  and  also  by  what  means  she  is  likely 
to  jeopardize  that  power.  And  without  un- 
dertaking to  determine  what  shall  be  the  pre- 
cise rules  of  female  action,  and  the  precise 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  97 

limits  of  the  sphere  within  which  the  Author 
of  her  nature  designed  she  should  move,  is  it 
not  worth  the  serious  inquiry,  whether  she 
does  not,  as  a  general  fact,  lose  influence  the 
moment  she  departs  widely  from  the  province 
which  God  in  nature  seems  to  have  allotted 
her;  when,  like  a  Woolstoncroft,  or  a  Wright, 
or  others  still  of  less  painful  notoriety,  she 
mounts  the  rostrum  and  becomes  the  centre  of 
gaping,  perhaps  admiring  thousands  of  the 
other  sex,  as  well  as  of  her  own.  So  did  not 
the  excellent  women  of  Galilee,  eighteen  hun- 
dred years  ago;  although  they  were  engaged, 
heart  and  hand,  in  a  cause  than  which  none 
could  be  more  glorious,  or  afford  a  greater 
triumph,  especially  to  their  own  sex.  They 
probably  knew  too  well  their  power,  to  en- 
danger it  thus,  in  the  general  scale;  or  if  not, 
they  probably  yielded  to  the  impulses  of  a 
spirit  which  could  direct  them  in  a  path  more 
congenial  to  their  own  nature,  as  well  as  en 
the  whole  more  conducive  to  their  own  eman- 
cipation, elevation  and  perfection. 

Diffidence. — This  trait,  though  nearly 
related  to  modesty,  is  far  from  being  the  same 
thing,   its  character   having   been  more   fre- 


98  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

quently  brought  in  question  than  that  of  mod- 
esty. And  yet  it  seems  to  me  equally  valuable. 
It  gilds  what  modesty  graces;  and  polishes 
what  modesty  improves. 

Let  not  the  reader  confound  modesty  and 
bashfulness;  for  they  are  by  no  means  the 
same  thing.  Modesty  is  as  much  opposed  to 
impudence  as  any  thing  can  be;  and  yet  it  is 
certain  that  impudence  is  often  conjoined  with 
bashfulness.  Not  so  often,  to  be  sure,  in  the 
female  sex,  as  in  our  own;  and  yet  such  a 
phenomenon  is  occasionally  witnessed,  even 
in  woman. 

Bashfulness  is  usually  the  result  of  too  low 
an  estimate  of  ourselves;  whereas,  true  diffi- 
dence only  leads  us  to  value  ourselves  accord- 
ing to  our  real  deserts.  Diffidence  makes  us 
humble,  but  bashfulness  sometimes  makes  us 
mean;  at  least,  there  is  danger  of  it.  It  is,  at 
all  events,  of  doubtful  utility ;  and  though  I 
would  not  denounce  or  condemn  it,  I  would 
urge  the  young  to  endeavor  to  rise  far  above  it. 

But  I  repeat  it — I  would  endeavor  to  culti- 
vate and  encourage  every  thing  which  belongs 
to  true  diffidence.  It  will  assist  modesty  in 
performing  her  angelic  office;  and  the  influ- 
ence of  both,  united,  may  save  you  from  many 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  99 

a  pang  in  this  world,  and  perchance,  prove 
a  means,  under  God,  of  saving  you  from 
receiving  the  sentence  of  condemnation  in  the 
world  to  come. 

Courage. — By  courage  I  do  not  mean  that 
trait  for  which  man  is  constitutionally  as  much 
distinguished,  as  woman  is  for  the  want  of  it. 
I  mean  not  a  courage  to  meet  and  surmount 
physical  difficulties,  and  encounter  outward 
and  physical  dangers.  I  mean,  on  the  con- 
trary, that  moral  courage  which  is  neither 
confined  to  sex  nor  condition. 

Not  that  physical  courage  is  to  be  despised, 
even  by  females.  On  the  contrary,  I  think  it 
is  a  trait  of  character  which  is  quite  too  much 
neglected  in  female  education.  It  is  not  only 
lamentable,  but  pitiable,  to  see  a  female  of 
twenty,  thirty,  or  fifty  years  of  age,  shrinking 
at  the  sight  of  a  spider,  or  a  toad,  even  when 
there  is  not  the  smallest  prospect  of  its  com- 
ing within  three  yards  of  her.  Nor  is  it  as  it 
should  be,  when  a  young  woman  of  eighteen 
or  twenty  has  such  a  dread  of  pigs  and  cows, 
as  to  scream  aloud  at  the  sight  of  one  in 
a  field,  so  well  enclosed  that  it  is  not  possible 
her  safety  could  be  endangered  were  the  ani- 


190  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

mal  ever  so  malicious.  Such  unreasonable 
and  foolish  fears  ought  by  no  means  to  be 
encouraged;  on  the  contrary,  she  who  finds 
herself  a  slave  to  them,  ought  to  suppress 
them  as  fast  as  possible. 

This  is,  indeed,  an  important  but  much  neg- 
lected part  of  female  education;  and  she  who 
is  a  sufferer  therefrom,  will  do  well  to  derive 
a  hint  from  these  pages.  The  unreasonable 
fears  of  which  I  speak,  are  by  no  means  con- 
fined to  the  sight  of  toads,  or  spiders,  or 
pigs,  or  cows.  We  find  them  more  or  less 
frequently,  and  in  some  form  or  other,  in 
nearly  every  family.  Some  are  unreasonably 
afraid  of  dogs  and  horses;  others,  of  cats  or 
snakes;  others,  again,  of  the  dark,  or  of  being 
alone  by  night  or  by  day. 

Let  me  not  be  understood  as  saying  that  no 
fears  are  to  be  indulged,  in  regard  to  any  of 
these  things;  it  is  only  an  unreasonable  and 
foolish  degree  of  fear,  that  should  be  guarded 
against.  A  cow  or  a  horse  feeding  quietly 
in  a  pasture,  and  separated  from  you  by  a 
stout  fence,  which  no  animal  in  any  ordinary 
circumstances  is  wont  to  leap,  is  not  a  proper 
object  of  fear  with  a  rational  person  over 
twelve  years  of  age.     If  a  cow  or  horse    is 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  101 

running  at  large  in  the  highway,  and  appears 
fearless  of  man,  or  furious — or  if  mad  dogs  are 
about — enough  of  fear  may  reasonably  be  in- 
dulged to  keep  you  from  the  streets,  and  con- 
fine you  to  your  home,  unless  you  have  suit- 
able protection. 

But  as  I  have  already  said,  it  is  moral 
courage  that  I  would  inspire  in  the  young 
woman.  She  has  patience,  and  perseverance, 
and  fortitude — why  then  may  she  not  add  to 
these,  moral  courage?  What  man  has  done, 
man  may  do — has  been  a  thousand  times  said; 
and  the  remark  is  not  less  applicable  to  woman 
than  to  man.  What  woman  has  done,  woman 
may  do.  But  woman,  in  numerous  instances, 
has  possessed  moral  courage.  She  has  been 
known,  more  than  once,  to  "face  a  frowning 
world,"  or  to  oppose  some  of  its  tyrant  fashions. 
I  could  mention  more  than  one  who  has  thus 
evinced  true  moral  courage,  and  set  her  sex 
a  glorious  example,  which  not  a  few  of  my 
readers  might  do  well  to  follow. 

Let  woman  dare  to  do  right — whether  fash- 
ionable or  unfashionable.  Let  her  dare  to  do 
so  in  the  smaller  no  less  than  in  the  larger 
matters  of  life.  Let  her  dare  to  obey  God — 
and  the  laws  of  God,  both  natural  and  re- 
9* 


102  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

vealed — both  within  and  around  her — rather 
than  the  laws  of  any  man  or  set  of  men. 
Let  her  do  this,  and  she  will  evince  true  moral 
courage ;  a  courage  as  far  surpassing  the 
highest  efforts  of  physical  courage  or  prowess, 
as  right  surpasses  might;  virtue,  vice;  or 
purity,  impurity. 

Vigilance. — The  young  woman  who  truly 
understands  and  practises  the  art  of  self- 
government,  will  not  only  train  herself  to  be 
at  once  cheerful,  discreet,  modest,  diffident 
and  courageous;  she  will  also  be  vigilant. 
The  largest  ship  may  be  sunk  by  a  very  small 
leak;  and  in  like  manner,  may  the  brightest 
and  noblest  character  lose  its  lustre,  unless 
the  possessor  is  ever  on  the  watch.  Let  not 
the  most  perfect  individual  on  earth  say  in  the 
plenitude  of  his  own  power,  and  in  the  height 
of  his  own  assurance — "My  mountain  stands 
strong.  I  shall  never  be  moved."  Such 
assurances  of  self-government  and  self-pos- 
session may  be  proper — of  course  are  so — in 
Him  who  is  in  his  own  nature  perfect  and 
immutable — infinitely  and  eternally  so;  but 
not  in  a  frail,  mutable,  created  man  or  woman 
— above  all,  in  the  young  and  inexperienced. 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  103 

Pardon  me,  then,  youthful  reader,  when  I 
repeat  the  Scripture  cautions — "Be  vigi- 
lant;" and  "  Let  him  who  thinketh  he  stand- 
eth,  take  heed  lest  he  fall."  It  is  easier  to 
maintain  the  measure  of  self-government  to 
which  you  have  already  attained,  and  even  to 
add  to  it,  than  to  recover  what  you  have  once 
lost. 

Thoughts  and  Feelings. — On  this  ac- 
count, set  a  guard  over  the  very  thoughts  of 
your  hearts.  All  sin  begins  in  the  desires  of 
the  heart,  and  the  affections  of  the  soul. 
There,  in  the  deep  recesses  of  the  man, 
it  germinates.  Let  every  imagination,  then, 
which  exalts  itself  unduly,  be  brought  low; 
and  let  the  stream  of  thought  and  feeling  be 
pure,  and  perfect,  and  holy.  Acquire  the 
exceedingly  important  habit  of  confining  your 
thoughts  and  desires  to  those  subjects  which 
your  judgment  tells  you  are  lawful  and 
proper — and  which  are  not  only  lawful  and 
proper  in  general,  but  which  are  so  at  par- 
ticular times  and  places.  The  wise  man  says 
there  is  a  time  and  season  for  every  thing; 
and  more  than  intimates,  what  he  undoubtedly 
believed,  that  it  is  wisdom  to  confine  every 


104  THE    YOUNG   WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

thing — thoughts  and  feelings,  no  less  than 
words  and  actions — to  their  own  place  and 
time,  respectively. 

But  to  learn  to  think  with  order,  is  one 
exceedingly  important  item  in  the  art  of  gov- 
erning our  thoughts.  Half  the  thought  in  the 
world  is  of  a  mere  random  nature,  and  is  for 
this  very  reason,  almost  wholly  unproductive. 
Men  are  but  half  men  who  have  not  yet 
attained  to  the  government  of  their  thoughts 
and  feelings. 

The  Affections. — Even  these,  as  I  have 
already  said,  can  be  controlled.  Were  it  not 
so,  what  meaning  would  there  be  in  the  gos- 
pel commands — so  incessantly  repeated  by  the 
divine  Author  of  the  gospel — to  love  our  ene- 
mies? On  this  subject — the  regulation,  and 
if  I  may  so  say,  the  application  of  the  affec- 
tions— I  intend  to  dwell  at  greater  length, 
when  I  come  to  speak  in  another  place  of 
the  duties,  relations,  Stc.  of  the  young. 

The  Temper. — Nothing  is  more  unpleas- 
ant— slovenliness,  perhaps,  excepted — than  a 
bad  temper.  I  beseech  every  one  who  is  so 
unhappy  as  to  possess  such  a  temper,  to  pay 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  105 

particular  attention  to  what  I  am  about  to  say, 
on  this  interesting  and  important  topic. 

Some  young  women  seem  entirely  to  over- 
look the  consequences  of  an  ill  temper. 
These  are  numerous — too  numerous  to  he 
mentioned  in  a  single  chapter.  I  shall  only 
say  here,  that  such  a  temper  is  no  less  de- 
structive— in  a  slow  way — to  the  health  of 
the  body,  than  it  is  to  the  faculties  of  the 
mind,  and  the  best  affections  of  the  soul. 

Seme  suppose  their  ill  temper  to  be  consti- 
tutional, and  this  serves  them  as  an  apology 
for  neglecting  to  govern  it.  They  seem  to 
regard  it  as  so  wrought  into  their  very  struc- 
ture, that  it  will  hardly  be  possible  ever  to 
eradicate  it.  They  are  condemned  by  inheri- 
tance, as  they  seem  to  suppose,  to  a  perpetual 
war  within — in  which  the  most  they  can  hope 
for,  is  an  occasional  victory. 

Now  let  me  tell  every  young  woman  who 
has  imbibed  this  erroneous  and  dangerous 
notion,  that  God  has  never  suffered  the  com- 
mand of  her  temper  to  be  placed  beyond  her 
reach.  She  may  acquire  the  most  perfect 
B<  li'-command,  even  in  this  respect,  if  she  will. 
Not  in  a  moment,  nor  in  a  day,  it  is  true. 
The  work  may  be  the  labor  of  months,  or  of 


106  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

years.  Still,  the  battle  can  be  won:  a  perma- 
nent and  final  victory  can  be  achieved. 

The  very  general  idea,  that  single  persons 
somewhat  advanced  in  life,  especially  females, 
become  habitually  impatient  or  ill  tempered, 
has  too  much  truth  for  its  foundation,  though 
it  is  by  no  means  universally  true.  Nor  is  it 
ever  necessary  that  it  should  be  so,  as  I  have 
endeavored  to  show  elsewhere. 

I  wish  every  young  person  could  be  in- 
duced to  study  into  the  causes  which  operate 
on  mankind  to  originate  or  perpetuate  a  bad 
temper.  They  are  numerous — exceedingly 
so.  It  is  not  necessary  to  charge  much  upon 
our  ancestors.  The  causes  may  much  oftener 
be  found  within  our  own  minds  and  bodies, 
would  we  but  look  for  them  there.  We  har- 
bor or  perhaps  indulge  a  thousand  unpleasant 
feelings  from  day  to  day,  not  seeming  to 
know,  or  at  least  to  realize,  that  as  small 
streams  form  larger  ones,  so  these  first 
risings  of  anger  lead  to  its  more  out-breaking 
forms. 

Not  a  few  of  the  instances  of  irritability, 
fretfulness,  impatience  and  melancholy,  have 
their  origin  in  physical  causes — in  errors  in 
regard  to  exercise,  sleep,   air,  temperature, 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  107 

dress,  eating,  drinking,  &c. ;  and  some  have 
their  origin  in  mistakes  about  the  theory  or 
the  practice  of  religion.  Some  originate,  too, 
in  disappointed  love.  In  short,  their  sources 
are  well  nigh  endless.  But  I  shall  recur  to 
this  subject,  presently. 

The  Appetites  and  Passions. — It  is  in 
vain,  or  almost  in  vain,  to  hope  for  any  radical 
improvement  in  our  physical,  intellectual  or 
moral  condition,  except  in  proportion  as  the 
body  and  the  bodily  appetites  are  kept  in 
proper  subjection  to  right  reason  and  religion. 

Here  I  must  again  urge  upon  every  young 
woman  the  duty  of  studying  the  laws  of  health, 
and  especially  those  of  temperance.  The 
knowledge  thus  to  be  obtained,  would  be  of 
exceeding  great  value  to  her  in  the  govern- 
ment of  her  passions  and  appetites. 

Prof.  Mussey,  recently  of  Dartmouth  Col- 
lege, in  New  Hampshire,  relates,  that  a 
teacher  in  Boston,  whose  general  course  of 
discipline  was  quite  mild,  was  sometimes  so 
much  affected  in  his  temper  by  high-seasoned 
or  over-stimulating  dinners,  as  to  be  petulant 
and  passionate,  even  to  blows,  immediately 
afterward. 


108  THE  young  woman's  guide. 

Now,  whether  this  was  often  the  case  with 
the  individual  in  question,  I  cannot  say.  This, 
however,  I  may  affirm  with  the  utmost  safety 
and  confidence — that  many  an  individual  who 
finds  her  passions  or  her  appetites  more  than 
usually  troublesome  or  rebellious,  would  do 
well  to  look  for  the  cause  in  the  bad  air  which 
she  breathes,  the  bad  food  or  drinks  she  uses, 
or  in  something  else  in  herself  or  in  her  habits 
which  might  have  been  prevented. 

Sometimes  tea  or  coffee,  notwithstanding 
their  first  effects  to  enliven,  produce  the  re- 
sults I  have  mentioned,  as  their  secondary 
effects.  Sometimes  a  hearty  dinner  of  flesh 
meat,  or  a  more  moderate  one,  with  bad  ac- 
companiments, or  with  improper  seasonings, 
is  the  cause  of  trouble.  Sometimes  the  cause 
is  something  either  quite  indigestible,  or  diffi- 
cult of  digestion,  whether  it  be  animal  or 
vegetable.  And,  lastly,  but  yet  most  fre- 
quently of  all,  it  may  be  excess  of  quantity, 
or  the  bad  cooking  of  substances  naturally 
wholesome  and  digestible. 

I  press  this  part  of  my  subject  upon  the 
consideration  of  young  women,  because  it 
concerns  not  them  alone,  but  a  host  of  others. 
What  I  say,  might,  indeed,  have  come  into 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  109 

the  chapter  on  Domestic  Concerns;  but  it  is 
not  wholly  misplaced,  even  here. 

Another  reason  why  I  urge  it  is,  because 
we  are  almost  universally  referred  to  moral 
means  and  moral  considerations  alone,  in 
order  to  keep  in  subjection  the  body — its 
passions  and  appetites — and  seldom,  if  ever, 
to  a  proper  attention  to  our  food,  or  our  drink, 
our  air,  our  exercise,  or  our  sleep.  Nay,  the 
hopes  of  the  young,  in  regard  to  keeping  the 
body  in  subjection,  are  sometimes  completely 
paralyzed  by  the  grave  assertion,  that  the 
strength  of  our  passions  and  appetites  is  con- 
stitutional— as  much  our  inheritance,  and  as 
unchangeable,  as  the  color  of  our  eyes,  or  the 
contour  of  our  physiognomies. 

Now  I  would  encourage  no  young  woman 
to  expect  too  much  of  "temperance  in  ail 
things,"  without  the  co-operation  of  the  moral 
powers,  and  especially  of  the  will.  But  I 
would  encourage  her  to  strict  temperance, 
for  her  own  sake,  and  that  of  others.  I  would 
say  to  her  once  more,  that  in  proportion  to 
her  obedience  to  the  laws  of  health,  in  regard 
to  air,  exercise,  sleep,  temperature,  study, 
food,  drink,  clothing,  See.  &.G.,  will  be  her 
ability  to  govern  herself  according  to  right, 
10 


110  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

and  reason,  and  the  commands  of  the  Creator. 
The  simpler  her  diet,  for  example,  and  the 
more  free  it  is  from  extraneous  things — as  fat, 
condiments,  &x. — the  easier  will  it  be  to  keep 
herself  in  proper  subjection  to  herself — the 
body,  to  the  immortal  spirit. 

One  of  the  most  powerful  and  ever  active 
causes  of  that  slavery  of  the  soul  to  the  body, 
which  every  person  of  sense  must  perceive 
and  deplore,  is  our  unnatural  and  artificial 
cookery.  Had  it  been  the  aim  of  all  the 
cookery  in  the  world,  to  make  it  as  bad  as 
possible  for  the  health  of  body  and  soul,  I 
know  not  that  things  could  have  been  worse 
than  they  are  now.  Very  few  things,  indeed, 
are  made  more  palatable,  more  digestible,  or 
more  nutritious  by  it — the  legitimate  and  only 
ends  of  all  the  efforts  of  our  fashionable  cook- 
ery. On  the  contrary,  they  are  made,  almost 
universally,  a  great  deal  worse  for  us  in  every 
respect. 

Let  the  young  woman  who  would  serve 
God  in  her  day  and  generation,  by  doing  good 
in  the  reformation,  elevation,  and  eternal 
progress  of  herself  and  those  around  her, 
consider  well  this  whole  subject.  Let  her 
not  only  study  deeply  the  laws  of  health  and 


SELF-GOVERNMENT.  1  1 1 

life;  but  let  her  tax  her  powers  of  reasoning 
and  invention,  to  see  if  it  is  not  possible  to 
remove  the  cause  of  so  much  mischief  from 
our  parlors,  our  sleeping-rooms,  our  kitchens 
and  our  tables.  Much  must  be  done,  in  this 
respect,  before  the  world  can  become  what  it 
ought  to  be;  and  women  must  lead  the  way — 
women  of  some  future  generation,  if  not  of  the 
present. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


SELF-COMMAND. 

Presence  of  mind.  Examples.  Napolean.  Female  example. 
Mrs.  Merrill.  Use  of  the  anecdote.  Self-command  to  be 
cultivated.  In  what  manner.  Consult  the  experience  of 
others.  Consult  your  own  reason  and  good  sense.  Daily 
practice  in  the  art  of  self-command. 

I  was,  at  first,  disposed  to  call  this  chapter 
Presence  of  Mind;  for  that  is  the  principal 
subject  of  which  it  treats.  However,  for  rea- 
sons which  it  would  take  up  time  unnecessa- 
rily to  present,  I  have  chosen  to  call  it  by 
another  name — that  of  Self-Command. 

To  acquire  the  art  of  propeilypcommanding 
ourselves,  in  all  circumstances — especially  in 
the  most  trying  emergencies,  and  at  a  moment 
of  danger,  when  not  a  minute,  perhaps  not  a 
second,  should  be  lost — is  as  difficult  as  it  is 
important  to  every  person;  and  to  none  per- 
haps more  so,  than  to  young  women.  Not 
that  their  trials  of  this  sort  will  be  more  fre- 
quent than  those  of  other  people;  but  because 


SELF-COMMAND.  113 

the  usual  course  of  their  education  is  such  as 
to  prepare  them  but  poorly  to  meet  those 
which  fall  to  their  lot. 

It  is  said  that  Napoleon  was  greatly  distin- 
guished for  the  trait  of  character  of  which  I 
am  now  speaking.  But  there  are  also  nu- 
merous examples  of  self-command  in  females, 
on  record.     I  will  relate  one. 

Some  thirty  or  forty  years  ago,  when  the 
Indians  had  not  yet  done  making  depredations 
on  the  inhabitants  of  our  then  frontier  states, 
Kentucky  and  Ohio,  a  band  of  these  savage 
men  came  to  the  door  of  a  house  in  Nel- 
son county,  Ky.,  and  having  shot  down  the 
father  of  the  little  family  within,  who  had  in- 
cautiously opened  the  door,  they  attempted  to 
rush  in  and  put  to  death  the  defenceless  and 
unoffending  mother  and  her  children.  But 
Mrs.  Merrill — for  that  was  the  name  of  the  he- 
roic woman — had  much  of  that  self-command, 
or  presence  of  mind,  which  was  now  so 
needful.  She  drew  her  wounded  husband  into 
the  house,  closed  the  door  and  barred  it  as 
quickly  as  possible,  so  that  the  Indians  could 
not  enter  at  once,  and  then  proceeded  to  the 
defence  of  "her  castle,"  and  all  those  in  it 
whom  she  held  dear. 
10* 


114  THE    TOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

The  Indians  had  soon  hewed  away  a  part  of 
the  door,  so  that  they  could  force  themselves 
in  one  by  one,  but  not  very  rapidly.  This 
slow  mode  of  entrance  gave  time  to  Mrs. 
M.  to  despatch  them  with  an  axe,  and  drag 
them  in;  so  that  before  those  without  were 
aware  of  the  fate  of  those  inside,  she  had, 
with  a  little  assistance  from  her  husband, 
formed  quite  a  pile  of  dead  bodies  within  and 
around  the  door;  and  even  the  little  children, 
half  dead  though  they  at  first  were  with  fear, 
had  gradually  begun  to  recover  from  their 
fright. 

The  Indians,  finding  their  party  so  rapidly 
disappearing,  at  length  began  to  suspect  what 
was  their  fate,  and  accordingly  gave  up  their 
efforts  in  that  direction.  They  now  attempted 
to  descend  into  the  house  by  way  of  the 
chimney.  The  united  wisdom  and  presence 
of  mind  of  the  family  was  again  put  in  requi- 
sition, and  they  emptied  upon  the  fire  the 
contents  of  a  feather  bed,  which  brought 
down,  half  smothered,  those  Indians  that  were 
in  the  chimney,  who  were  also  soon  and  easily 
despatched.  The  remainder  of  the  party,  now 
very  much  reduced  in  numbers,  became  quite 
discouraged,  and  concluded  it  was  best  to 
retire. 


SELF-COMMAND.  115 

I  have  not  related  this  story  because  I  sup- 
pose any  of  my  readers  will  ever  be  tried 
in  this  particular  manner.  Many  of  them, 
however,  may  be  placed  in  circumstances 
exceedingly  trying;  and  their  lives  and  those 
of  others  may  depend  on  a  little  presence  of 
mind. 

Suppose,  now,  that  Mrs.  M.,  instead  of  drag- 
ging her  wounded  husband  into  the  house  and 
fastening  the  door,  had  stood  still  and  scream- 
ed; or  suppose  she  had  fainted,  or  run  away; 
what  would  have  been  the  result?  We  do  not 
know,  it  is  true;  but  we  know  enough  of  the 
Indian  mode  of  warfare  to  see  that  no  condi- 
tion could  well  be  more  perilous. 

It  cannot  be  denied  that  the  large  share  of 
nervous  sensibility  which  is  allotted  to  the 
female  constitution,  peculiarly  unfits  woman 
for  scenes  of  blood,  like  that  to  which  I  have 
alluded.  And  yet  we  see  what  can  be  done, 
as  a  last  resort. 

But  if  most  females  were  fitted  for  trying 
emergencies,  as  I  doubt  not  they  could  be, 
how  much  better  they  could  meet  the  more 
common  accidents  and  dangers  to  which 
human  existence  is  daily  more  or  less  liable. 
And  ought  they  not  to  be  thus  fitted  ? 


116  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

Do  you  ask  how  it  can  be  done?  This  is 
precisely  the  question  I  should  expect  would 
be  asked  by  those  who  have  a  strong  desire 
for  improvement.  It  is  a  work  that  is  at 
present  chiefly  left  undone,  both  by  parents 
and  teachers.  And  yet  hundreds  of  lives  are 
lost  every  year  for  the  want  of  it;  and  hun- 
dreds of  others  are  likely  to  be  lost  in  the 
same  way  every  year  for  many  years  to  come, 
unless  the  work  is  taken  up  as  a  work  of  im- 
portance, and  studied  with  as  much  zeal  as 
grammar,  or  geography,  or  botany,  or  mathe- 
matics. 

It  is  a  most  pitiable  sight  to  see  a  young 
woman,  twelve,  fifteen,  or  it  may  be  eighteen 
years  of  age,  left  to  take  care  of  a  babe,  suffer 
its  clothes  to  get  on  fire  by  some  accident, 
and  then,  without  the  least  particle  of  self- 
command,  only  jump  up  and  down  and  scream, 
till  the  child  is  burnt  to  death;  or  what  per- 
haps is  still  worse,  rush  out  for  relief,  leaving 
the  door  wide  open  to  let  through  a  current 
of  air  to  hasten  the  work  of  destruction. 

Equally  distressing  and  pitiable  is  it,  to  see 
females,  young  or  old,  losing  all  presence  of 
mind  the  moment  a  horse  takes  fright,  or  a 
gale  of  wind  capsizes  the  vessel  in  which  they 


SELF-COMMAND.  117 

are  travelling,  and  by  their  erratic  move- 
ments, depriving  themselves  of  the  only  op- 
portunity which  remains  to  them,  of  saving 
themselves  or  of  assisting  to  save  others. 

But  the  question  recurs — How  can  these 
evils  be  prevented?  In  what  way  can  our 
young  women  be  taught — or  in  what  way  can 
they  be  induced  to  teach  themselves — the  im- 
portant art  of  commanding  themselves,  on  all 
occasions,  and  in  all  emergencies? 

An  ajred  but  excellent  minister  of  the  gos- 
pel  with  whom  I  had  the  honor  and  the  plea- 
sure of  being  intimately  acquainted,  once  said 
that  the  only  way  of  being  prepared  for  the 
sudden  accidents  of  life — by  being  able  to 
keep  cool,  and  possess  our  souls  in  peace — 
was  to  think  on  the  subject  often,  and  con- 
sider what  we  would  do,  should  such  and  such 
accidents  occur. 

Thus  we  should  consider  often  what  we 
ought  to  do,  if  a  horse  in  a  carriage  should 
run  away  with  us;  if  we  should  awake  and 
find  the  house  on  fire  over  our  heads — what 
to  be  done,  if  we  were  in  this  room  or  in 
that,  Stc;  if  our  clothes  should  get  on  fire; 
if  we  should  be  burnt  or  scalded — what  to  be 
done,  if  scalded  with  water,  and  what,  if  with 


118  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

milk,  oil,#  or  any  other  substance;  if  a  child 
should  fall  into  a  well,  be  kicked  by  a  horse, 
be  seized  by  convulsions,  or  break  or  dislocate 
a  limb;   &c. 

It  will  be  asked,  I  know,  of  what  avail  it  is 
to  think  over  and  over  what  should  be  done, 
without  the  instructions,  either  of  experience 
or  science.  But  we  can  have  these  instruc- 
tions, to  some  extent,  whenever  we  seek  after 
them.  The  great  trouble  is,  we  are  not  in  the 
habit  of  seeking  for  them;  and  what  we  do  not 
seek,  we  rarely,  if  ever,  find. 

There  are  around  every  young  woman, 
those  whose  judgment  is  worth  something  in 
this  matter.  It  is  not  always  the  old — though 
it  is  more  generally  such.  There  are  those 
who  live  in  the  world  almost  half  a  century 
without  learning  any  thing;  and  there  are 
also  those  who  become  wise  in  a  quarter  of  a 
century.  The  wise,  whatever  may  be  their 
age,  are  the  persons  for  you  to  consult;  and 


*  A  very  small  portion  of  chemical  knowledge  is  sufficient 
to  teach  any  person  that  the  falling  of  a  quantity  of  boiling  oil 
or  fat  on  any  part  of  the  body,  will  cause  a  deeper  and  more 
dangerous  burn,  than  the  same  quantity  of  boiling  water  ap- 
plied in  the  same  manner ;  and  consequently,  will  require 
very  different  treatment.  Water  boils  at  212  degrees  of 
Fahrenheit;  oil  at  about  600. 


SELF-COMMAND.  119 

the  older  such  persons  are,  the  better — be- 
cause the  greater  is  likely  to  be  their  wisdom. 
The  truly  wise,  are  always  growing  wiser;  it 
is  the  fool  alone  who  remains  stationary.  Wise 
and  observing  friends  will  probably  tell  you — 
or  at  least  relate  anecdotes  to  you,  from  which 
you  may  gather  the  conclusion — that  when 
the  clothes  of  a  child  have  caught  fire,  you 
may  often  smother  the  flame  by  wrapping  him 
instantly  in  a  thick  woollen  blanket: — that  it  is 
seldom  entirely  safe  to  open  the  doors  into  an 
adjoining  room — at  least  without  great  cau- 
tion— when  the  house  which  we  are  in  is  dis- 
covered to  be  on  fire;  but  the  best  way,  as  a 
general  rule,  is,  to  escape  by  the  scuttle,  if 
there  be  one,  or  by  a  ladder,  or  by  letting 
ourselves  down  to  the  ground,  if  the  distance 
is  not  too  great,  through  the  windows.  This 
last,  is  often  the  best  way,  though  not  always 
the  most  expeditious  one.  Many  sleep  with  a 
rope  in  their  bed-rooms  to  tie  to  the  bed-post, 
as  a  means  of  letting  themselves  down,  should 
there  be  occasion;  while  others  rely  on  the 
bed-clothes — to  make  a  rope  of  them  by  tying 
several  articles  together. 

But  it  was  no  part  of  my  purpose  to  direct 
to  the  appropriate  methods  of  saving  ourselves 


120  THE    YOUNG   WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

or  our  friends  from  harm,  in  case  of  accidents 
or  emergencies;  but  only  to  point  to  the  road, 
and  leave  the  reader  to  pursue  it.  I  am  not 
addressing  myself  to  mere  machines,  but  to 
thinking,  intelligent  beings,  or  to  those  who 
should  be  such — and  who,  if  they  find  them- 
selves otherwise,  should  endeavor  to  become 
what  they  know  they  ought  to  be.  The  intel- 
ligent young  woman  who  sets  about  gaining 
the  habit  of  self-command,  will  not  only  con- 
sult the  experience  of  others,  but  observe,  and 
reflect,  and  reason  on  the  case,  herself.  She 
will  often  originate  plans  and  means  of  escape, 
in  places  and  circumstances  of  danger,  which 
she  would  not  gain  from  others  in  a  hundred 
or  a  thousand  years. 

There  is  one  other  means  of  improvement 
in  the  art  of  self-command,  on  which  I  do  not 
know  that  any  writer  on  the  subject  has 
dwelt  with  much  earnestness.  And  yet  it  is 
as  plain  and  simple  as  can  be.  It  is  to  make 
the  most  of  every  little  accident  or  emergency 
that  actually  overtakes  or  surprises  us.  I 
know  from  personal  experience,  that  a  great 
deal  may  be  done  in  this  way.  There  are 
those  who,  though  they  were  at  first  fright- 
ened half  out  of  their  senses,  at  the  sudden 


SELF-COMMAND.  121 

sight  of  a  harmless  snake,  have  brought  them- 
selves, by  dint  of  long  effort,  to  so  much 
presence  of  mind,  as  only  to  start  a  little  at 
first — and  to  be  as  calm,  and  composed,  and 
self-possessed,  in  a  few  seconds  afterward,  as 
if  nothing  had  happened.  And  the  same 
presence  of  mind  may  be  obtained  in  other 
surprises  or  emergencies.  Besides,  she  who 
is  learning  to  command  herself  at  sight  of  a 
snake  or  a  dog,  is  at  the  same  time  acquiring, 
in  a  degree,  the  power  to  command  herself  in 
any  other  circumstances  where  self-command 
may  be  necessary. 

I  wish  the  principle  indicated  by  the  last 
statement  were  more  generally  perceived.  I 
wish  it  were  distinctly  understood,  that  what  we 
want  is,  to  gain  the  habit  of  self-command  in  all 
circumstances,  rather  than  to  be  able  to  work 
ourselves  up  to  a  proper  state  of  feeling  in 
particular  cases;  and  that  this  habit  is  to  be 
acquired  by  frequent  familiar  conversation  on 
the  subject,  and  by  daily  practice  in  the  con- 
tinually recurring  small  matters  of  life.  It  is, 
indeed,  in  governing  ourselves  in  these  small 
matters — which  recur  so  frequently,  and  are 
regarded  as  so  trifling  as  to  have  not  only 
no  moral  character  in  themselves,  but  no 
11 


122  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

influence  in  the  formation  of  character — that 
the  art  to  which  I  am  now  directing  your 
attention,  is  to  be  chiefly  acquired.  They 
who  defer  the  work  till  some  larger  or  more 
striking  emergency  arrives,  will  not  be  likely 
to  make  much  progress;  for  they  begin  at  the 
wrong  end  of  the  matter.  They  begin  exactly 
where  they  ought  to  end. 


CHAPTER  IX. 


DECISION   OF  CHARACTER. 

Decision  of  character  as  important  to  young-  women  as  to 
others.  Why  it  is  so.  Illustration  of  the  subject  by  a 
Scripture  anecdote.  Misery  and  danger  of  indecision. 
How  to  reform.  Perseverance.  Errors  of  modern  edu- 
cation. 

This  trait  of  character  has  been  recom- 
mended to  young  men  too  exclusively.  I  know 
of  no  reason  why  it  is  not  equally  important 
to  young  women,  and  equally  becoming  the 
sex  in  general.  One  thing,  at  any  rate,  I  do 
know;  which  is,  that  thousands  of  young 
women — and  the  world  through  their  imper- 
fection— suffer,  in  no  trifling  degree,  from  the 
want  of  this  virtue. 

I  call  it  a  virtue.  What  is  there  that  pro- 
duces more  evil — directly  or  indirectly — than 
the  want  of  power,  when  occasion  requires  it, 
to  say  yes,  or  no?  As  long  as  with  half  the 
human  race — and   the  more  influential   half, 


124  THE    YOUXG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

too — no  does  not  mean  no,  and  ijes  does  not 
mean  yes,  there  will  be  a  vast  amount  of  vice, 
and  crime,  and  suffering  in  the  world,  as  the 
natural  consequence.  And  is  not  that  which 
is  the  cause  of  so  much  evil,  nearly  akin  to 
vice?  And  is  any  thing  more  entitled  to  the 
name  of  virtue,  than  its  opposite? 

Let  me  illustrate  my  meaning  by  a  Scripture 
example.  When  Balak,  the  king  of  Moab, 
undertook  to  extort  a  curse  upon  Israel,  from 
Balaam,  the  latter  did  not  say  no;  but  only 
said,  the  Lord  would  not  permit  him  to  do 
what  was  required.  He  neither  left  to  Baiak 
nor  to  his  messengers,  any  reason  to  con- 
clude that  his  virtue  was  invulnerable.  On 
the  contrary,  as  the  event  plainly  shows,  his 
answer  was  just  such  an  one  as  encouraged 
them  to  prosecute  their  attempts  to  seduce 
him. 

Now  it  is  precisely  this  sort  of  refusal, 
direct  or  implied,  in  a  thousand  cases  which 
might  be  named,  which  brings  down  evil,  not 
only  upon  those  who  make  it,  but  upon  others. 
They  mean  no,  perhaps;  and  yet  it  is  not  cer- 
tain that  the  decision  is — like  the  laws  of  the 
Medes  and  Persians — irrevocable.  Some- 
thing   in   the    tone,  or  manner,  or  both  com- 


DECISION    OF    CHARACTER.  125 

bined,  leaVesroom  to  hope  for  success  in  time 
to  come.  "The  woman  who  deliberates,  is 
lost,"  we  are  told:  and  is  it  not  so?  Do  not 
many  who  say  no  with  hesitancy,  still  retain 
the  power  and  the  disposition  to  deliberate  ? 
And  is  it  not  so  understood? 

It  is — I  repeat  it — a  great  misfortune — a 
very  great  one — not  to  know  how  and  when 
to  say  no.  Indeed,  the  undecided  are  more 
than  unfortunate ;  they  are  very  unsafe.  They 
who  cannot  say  no,  are  never  their  own 
keepers;  they  are  always,  more  or  less,  in  the 
power  and  at  the  command  of  others.  They 
may  form  a  thousand  resolutions  a  day,  to 
withstand  in  the  hour  of  temptation;  and  yet, 
if  the  temptation  comes,  and  they  have  not 
acquired  decision  of  character,  it  is  ten  to  one 
but  they  will  yield  to  it. 

Is  it  too  much  to  say,  that  half  the  world 
are  miserable  on  this  account, — miserable 
themselves,  and  a  source  of  misery  to  others? 
Is  it  too  much  to  say,  that  decision  of  charac- 
ter is  more  important  to  young  women  than 
to  any  other  class  of  persons  whatever? 

But  as  it  is  in  every  thing  or  almost  every 
thing  else,  so  it  is  in  this  matter:  they  who 
would  reform  themselves,  must  begin  with 
11* 


126  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

the  smaller  matters  of  life.  The  great  trials— 
those  of  decision  no  less  than  those  of  other 
traits  of  human  character — come  but  seldom; 
and  they  who  allow  themselves,  habitually,  to 
vacillate,  and  hesitate,  and  remain  undecided, 
in  the  every-day  concerns  of  life,  will  inevita- 
bly do  so  in  those  larger  matters  which  recur 
less  frequently. 

No  one  will  succeed  in  acquiring  true  de- 
cision of  character,  without  perseverance.  A 
few  feeble  efforts,  continued  a  day  or  two,  or 
a  week,  are  by  no  means  sufficient  to  change 
the  character  or  form  the  habit.  The  efforts 
must  be  earnest,  energetic,  and  unremitted; 
and  must  be  persevered  in  through  life. 

I  am  not  ignorant  that  many  philosophers 
and  physiologists  have  denied  that  woman  pos- 
sesses the  power  of  perseverance  in  what  she 
undertakes,  in  any  eminent  degree.  A  British 
writer,  distinguished  for  his  boldness  if  not 
for  his  metaphysical  acuteness,  maintains  with 
much  earnestness,  that  woman,  by  her  vital 
organization,  is  much  wanting  in  perseve- 
rance. This  notion  may  or  may  not  be  true. 
Certain  it  is,  however,  that  she  has  her  pecu- 
liarities, as  well  as  man  his.  But  whether  she 
has  little  or  much  native  power  of  persever- 


DECISION    OF    CHARACTER.  127 

ance  in  what  she  undertakes,  is  not  so  impor- 
tant a  question,  as  whether  she  makes  a  proper 
use  of  the  power  she  possesses. 

"  Who  does  the  best  his  circumstance  allows, 
Does  well ;  acts  nobly  ;  angels  could  no  more." 

We  are  required,  however,  to  do  that  best 
which  "circumstance"  does  allow,  as  much 
as  is  the  highest  seraph;  and  woman  is  not 
the  less  bound  to  persevere  in  matters  where 
perseverance  would  become  her,  because  her 
native  power  of  perseverance  is  feeble,  if 
indeed  it  is  so.  On  the  contrary,  this  very 
fact  makes  the  duty  of  perseverance  to  the 
utmost  extent  of  the  means  God  has  put  into 
her  hands,  the  more  urgent — especially  as 
small  powers  are  apt  to  be  overlooked. 

There  is  one  habit  which  should  be  culti- 
vated, not  only  for  its  usefulness  in  general, 
but  especially  for  its  value  in  leading  to  true 
decision  of  character.  I  mean,  the  habit 
of  doing  every  thing  which  it  devolves  upon 
us  to  do  at  all,  precisely  at  the  time  when 
it  ought  to  be  done.  Every  thing  in  human 
character  goes  to  wreck,  under  the  reign 
of  procrastination,  while  prompt  action  gives 
to  all  things  a  corresponding  and  propor- 
tional   life    and    energy.      Above    all,    every 


128  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

thing  in  the  shape  of  decision  of  character  is 
lost  by  delay.  It  should  be  a  sacred  rule  with 
every  individual  who  lives  in  the  world  for 
any  higher  purpose  than  merely  to  live,  never 
to  put  off,  for  a  single  moment,  a  thing  which 
ought  to  be  done  immediately — if  it  be  no  more 
than  the  cleaning  or  changing  of  a  garment. 

When  I  see  a  young  woman  neglecting, 
from  day  to  day,  her  correspondents — her 
pile  of  letters  constantly  increasing,  and  her 
dread  of  the  doleful  task  of  putting  pen  and 
thoughts  to  paper,  accumulating  as  rapidly — 
I  never  fail  to  conclude,  at  once,  that  what- 
ever other  excellent  qualities  she  may  pos- 
sess, she  is  a  stranger  to  the  one  in  question. 
She  who  cannot  make  up  her  mind  to  answer 
a  letter  when  she  knows  it  ought  to  be  an- 
swered— and  in  general  a  letter  ought  to  be 
answered  soon  after  it  is  received — will  not 
be  likely  to  manifest  decision  in  other  things 
of  still  greater  importance.  The  same  is 
true,  as  I  have  said  already  several  times,  in 
regard  to  indecision  in  other  things  of  even 
less  moment  than  the  writing  of  a  letter.  It 
is  manifest  especially,  in  regard  to  the  matter 
of  rising  in  the  morning.  She  who  knows  it 
is  time  to  get  up,  and  yet  cannot  decide  to  do 


DECISION    OF   CHARACTER.  129 

so — and  consequently  lies  yawning  a  little 
longer,  "  and  yet  a  little  longer  still" — can 
never,  I  am  bold  to  say — while  this  indolence 
and  indecision  are  indulged — be  decided  in 
any  thing  else — at  least,  habitually.  She  may, 
indeed,  be  so  by  fits  and  starts;  but  the  habit 
will  never  be  so  confirmed  as  to  be  regarded 
as  an  essential  element  of  her  character. 

Nearly  all  the  habits  of  modern  female  edu- 
cation— I  mean  the  fashionable  education  of 
the  family  and  school — are  entirely  at  war  with 
the  virtue  I  am  endeavoring  to  inculcate.  It 
would  be  a  miracle,  almost,  if  a  young  wo- 
man who  has  been  educated  in  a  fashionable 
family,  under  the  eye  of  a  fashionable  mother — 
and  at  a  fashionable  boarding  school,  under 
the  direction  of  a  teacher  whose  main  object  is 
to  please  her  patrons — should  come  out  to  the 
world,  without  being  quite  destitute  of  all  true 
decision  of  character.  If  it  were  the  leading 
object  of  our  boarding  schools  to  form  the 
habit  of  indecision,  they  could  not  succeed 
better  than  many  of  them  now  do.  They 
fnrnish  to  the  world  a  set  of  beings  who  are 
any  thing  but  what  the  world  wants,  and 
who  are  more  likely  to  do  almost  any  thing 
else,  than  to  be  the  means  of  reforming  it. 


CHAPTER  X. 


SELF-DEPENDENCE, 

Fashionable  education.  Why  there  is  so  little  self-depend- 
ence in  the  world.  Why  orphans  sometimes  make  out 
well  in  the  world.  Error  corrected.  What  young  women 
once  were.  What  they  are  now.  The  best  character 
formed  under  difficulties  Cause  of  the  present  helpless 
condition  of  females.  Three  or  four  to  get  breakfast. 
Modes  of  breaking  up  these  habits.  Anecdote  of  an  inde- 
pendent young  woman.     Appeal  to  the  reader. 

Here,  again,  our  fashionable  modes  of  ed- 
ucation are  wrong;  and  here,  too,  almost 
every  young  woman  who  is  determined  on  im- 
provement, has  a  great  work  to  perform. 

It  is  one  of  the  most  difficult  things  in  the 
world — perhaps  it  is  one  of  the  impossibles — 
to  bring  up  children  amid  comforts  and  con- 
veniences, and  yet  at  the  same  time  to  cul- 
tivate in  them  the  habit  of  self-dependence — 
or,  as  some  would  call  it,  the  habit  of  inde- 
pendence. 

And   yet  nothing   is  more    true,  than  that 


SELF-DEPENDENCE.  131 

human  character  has  always,  with  few  if  any 
exceptions,  been  most  fully  developed  and 
most  harmoniously  and  healthfully  formed, 
amid  difficulties.  Mr.  M'Clure,  the  distin- 
guished geologist,  whose  opportunities  for 
observation  in  the  world  have  been  very 
great,  says  that  orphans,  as  a  general  rule, 
make  their  way  best  in  the  world.  Without 
claiming  for  myself  so  many  years  of  observa- 
tion, by  thirty  or  forty,  as  this  distinguished 
veteran  in  natural  science,  I  should  be  glad 
to  make  one  modification  of  his  conclusion, 
before  adopting  it  as  my  own.  I  would  say, 
that  the  misfortune  of  having  no  parents  at 
all,  is  scarcely  greater  than  that  of  having 
over-indulgent  ones;  and  that  the  number 
of  those  who  are  spoiled  by  indulgence,  is 
greater  than  the  number  of  those  who  are 
spoiled  by  being  made  orphans. 

It  cannot  be  that  an  institution  ordained  by 
heaven  as  one  of  its  first  laws,  should  so  com- 
pletely fail  in  accomplishing  its  design — that 
of  blessing  mankind — as  Mr.  M'Clure  repre- 
sents. It  cannot  be  that  parents,  as  a  general 
rule,  are  a  misfortune.  I  have  not  so  seen  or 
learned  it.  Indeed,  it  is  not  so.  Such  a  belief 
is  greatly  erroneous. 


132  TKE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE, 

The  truth  is,  that  when  we  look  ahout 
us  and  see  so  many  spoiled,  who  appear  to 
be  well  bred,  our  attention  is  so  exclusively 
directed  to  these  strange,  but,  in  a  dense 
population,  frequently  occurring  cases,  that 
we  begin,  ere  long,  to  fancy  the  exception  to 
be  the  general  rule.  And  again,  when  we 
see  here  and  there  an  orphan — (and  in  a 
population  like  ours,  quite  a  multitude  in  the 
aggregate) — making  her  way  well  in  the 
world,  we  are  liable  to  make  another  wrong 
conclusion,  and  to  say  that  her  success  be- 
longs to  the  general  rule,  when  it  is  only  an 
exception  to  it. 

Nevertheless — and  I  have  no  wish  to  con- 
ceal the  fact — it  is  extremely  difficult,  if  not 
dangerous,  to  attempt  to  form  good  and  useful 
character  in  the  lap  of  ease  and  indulgence. 
There  needs  privation  and  hard  struggle,  to 
develope  the  soul  and  the  body.  Zion,  the 
city  of  our  God,  is  represented  in  Scripture 
as  recruiting  her  inhabitants  only  by  throes 
and  agonies. 

Let  it  not  be  thought,  then,  that  our  young 
women  in  New  England — a  land  of  com- 
parative ease,  quiet  and  affluence — can  be 
brought  up  as  they  ought  to  be,  without  much 


SELF-DEPENDENCE.  133 

pains-taking.  A  century  ago,  things  were, 
in  this  respect,  more  favorable.  Then  there 
were  struggles;  and  these  were  the  means 
of  forming  a  race  of  men  and  women,  of 
whom  the  world  might  have  been  proud. 
Then  the  young  women  knew  how  to  take 
care  of  themselves;  and  having  been  taught 
how  to  take  care  of  themselves,  they  knew 
how  to  take  care  of  others. 

But  "times  are  altered."  Thousands  of 
young  women — and  the  same  is  true  of  young 
men — are  trained  from  the  very  cradle,  scarce- 
ly to  know  any  thing  of  want  or  difficulty.  All 
is  comparative  ease,  and  comfort,  and  quiet 
around  them;  and  they  are  led  by  ease  and 
indulgence  to  love  to  have  it  so.  They  are 
trained,  as  I  have  elsewhere  said,  to  depend 
on  the  world  and  its  inhabitants  for  their  hap- 
piness; not  to  originate  happiness  and  diffuse 
it.  They  are  trained,  in  effect,  to  believe  that 
happiness,  or  blessedness,  consists — contrary 
to  the  saying  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour — in 
rea  iving;  not  in  giving. 

The  time  icas,  I  say  once  more,  when  most 

young  women,  if  thrown  by  the  hard  hand  of 

necessity  upon   their   own   resources,    could 

yet  take  care  of  themselves.     No  matter  how 

12 


134  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

great  their  poverty  or  affliction — how  large  or 
how  deep  their  cup  of  adversity  or  trial — they 
would,  in  general,  struggle  through  it,  and 
come  out  as  gold  seven  times  refined.  Mo- 
thers left  with  large  families  of  helpless*  chil- 
dren, and  with  no  means  of  sustaining  them 
but  the  labor  of  their  own  hands — and  daugh- 
ters left  without  either  parent — would  wind 
their  way  along  in  the  world,  and  the  world 
be  both  the  wiser  and  the  better  for  their 
influence. 

Now,  on  the  contrary,  mothers  and  young 
women  left  destitute,  are  apt  to  be,  of  all  be- 
ings, except  the  merest  infants  of  the  former, 
the  most  helpless. 

This  applies  to  even  a  large  portion  of  what 
are  called  the  poor.  In  reality,  however,  we 
have  no  poor — or  next  to  none.  Our  very 
paupers  are  comparatively  rich.  They  dress, 
and  eat,  and  drink,  and  dwell  like  princes. 
How,  then,  can  they  be  so  very  poor? 

It  is  true,  that  nearly  all  of  our  young  wo- 
men are  trained  to  something  in  the  shape  of 
labor.  Very  few,  indeed,  are  trained  to  posi- 
tive indolence.  But  what  is  their  labor,  gene- 
rally speaking  ?  A  little  sewing,  or  knitting,  or 
embroidery;    or  still  worse,  in  circumstances 


SET.F-DErENDENCE.  135 

of  poverty  or  peculiar  necessity,  a  life  of  spin- 
ning, or  weaving,  or  braiding — or  some  other 
mechanical  occupation  which  has  no  tendency 
to  prepare  them  for  true  self-dependence. 

I  have  said  we  have  little  poverty  existing 
among  us.  Is  it  not  so?  Is  not  the  life  of 
young  women  in  the  great  mass  of  our  New 
England  families,  very  far  removed  from  any 
feeling  of  want  or  suffering? 

But  though  not  trained  in  real  indigence, 
they  might  be  trained  to  self-dependence. 
They  might  be — and  always  ought  to  be — 
trained  to  make  their  own  beds;  make  and 
mend  their  own  garments;  make  bread;  and 
in  fact,  to  attend  to  the  whole  usual  routine  of 
duties  involved  in  the  care  of  themselves  and 
a  family.  But  is  it  so?  Are  not  all  these 
things  done,  to  a  vast  extent,  either  by  ser- 
vants, hired  girls,  or  the  mother?  And  if  the 
mother  employs  her  daughters  in  assisting 
her,  is  it  not  apt  to  be  just  so  far  as  is  con- 
venient to  herself,  and  no  farther?  In  short, 
who  can  often  find  the  individual  mother  or 
daughter,  who  considers  hard  work,  and  care, 
and  obstacles,  and  difficulties — such  as  all  the 
world  acknowledge  are  required,  in  order  to 
form  good  and  useful  character — as  any  thing 


but  task  work  and  drudgery — a  curse,  and  not 
a  blessing,  to  mankind? 

True  it  is — and  greatly  to  be  lamented — 
that  many  of  our  young  women  are  not 
well  able,  for  want  of  physical  vigor  and  en- 
ergy, to  encounter  poverty,  and  hardship, 
and  obstacles,  and  suffering.  But  this  dete- 
riorated condition  of  female  character  in  New 
England,  is  owing,  in  no  small  degree,  to 
the  very  kind  of  education — miseducation, 
rather — of  which  I  am  now  complaining. 
Would  mothers  do  their  duty — could  they  do 
it,  I  mean,  in  the  midst  of  abundance — the 
state  of  things  would  be  very  much  altered  for 
the  better. 

It  is  not  uncommon  in  the  schools  of  Eu- 
rope— especially  the  female  schools — to  assign 
to  each  older  pupil  the  care  of  some  younger 
one,  for  whom  she  is  more  or  less  responsible, 
particularly  as  to  behaviour.  This  leads, 
in  no  small  degree,  to  self-effort  and  self-de- 
pendence; and  might  be  practised  in  families 
as  well  as  in  schools,  with  equally  good  effects. 

But  there  is  another  course  which  is  better 
still,  in  many  respects.  It  is  not  unusual  in 
our  New  England  families,  where  there  are 
several  daughters,  when  they  are  employed 


SELF-DEPENDEXCE.  137 

at  all — I  mean  about  household  concerns — to 
have  them  all  employed  at  the  same  thing  at 
once.  Thus,  if  breakfast  is  to  be  prepared, 
all  are  to  engage  in  it.  One  goes  this  way, 
another  that,  and  another  that;  and  it  some- 
times happens  that  they  cross  each  other's 
path  and  come  into  actual  conflict.  One  goes 
for  one  thing,  another  for  another — and  so  on; 
and  it  is  not  uncommon  for  two  or  three  to  so 

o 

for  the  same  article. 

That  three  or  four  females  may  thus  spend 
all  their  time  for  an  hour  or  more  in  getting 
breakfast,  when  one  alone  would  do  it  much 
more  quietly  and  a  great  deal  better,  and  in 
little  more  time  than  is  occupied  by  the  whole 
of  them,  is  not  the  worst  of  the  evil.  The 
great  trouble  is,  that  no  one  is  acquiring  the 
habit  of  self-dependence.  On  the  contrary, 
they  are  acquiring  so  strong  a  habit  of  doing 
things  in  company,  that  they  hardly  know  how 
to  do  them  otherwise.  True,  there  is  plea- 
sure connected  with  this  sort  of  dependence — 
and  most  persons  are  exceedingly  fond  of  it; 
but  the  question  is,  whether  it  is  useful — and 
not  whether  it  is  or  is  not  pleasurable. 

Is  it  best  for  young  women  to  become  so 
much  accustomed  to  assist,  merely,  in  cooking 
jo  # 


138  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

and  in  performing  other  household  offices,  as 
to  feel,  even  at  thirty  years  of  age,  as  if  they 
could  do  nothing  without  the  aid  of  others? 

I  hardly  know  what  a  young  woman  is  to  do, 
who  finds  herself  in  the  dependent  condition 
of  which  I  have  been  speaking.  The  habit  is 
not  very  likely  to  be  broken,  so  long  as  she 
remains  in  the  place  where  it  was  formed.  I 
have,  however,  seen  such  a  habit  successfully 
broken  up,  in  one  instance;  and  perhaps  it 
may  be  useful  to  relate  it. 

A  young  friend  and  neighbor  of  mine,  in  a 
family  where  there  were  several  young  men 
of  nearly  the  same  age,  happening  to  find  out 
the  evil  of  doing  the  smaller  work  of  the 
morning  and  evening  in  this  company  man- 
ner— that  what  was  "  every  body's  business," 
in  the  language  of  a  common  maxim,  "was 
nobody's" — resolved  on  a  change.  He  ac- 
cordingly proposed  to  his  companions  to  take 
turns  in  doing  the  work.  One  was  to  do  it 
faithfully — the  whole  of  it — for  a  month;  an- 
other for  the  next  month;  and  so  on.  The 
plan  succeeded  most  admirably.  Each  be- 
came accustomed  to  a  degree  of  responsibility ; 
and  each  began  to  acquire  the  habit  of  doing 
things  independently — without  the  aid  of  a 
dozen  others. 


SELF-DEPENDENCE.  139 

Perhaps  this  method  might  be  generally  in- 
troduced into  families — as  it  has  already  been, 
in  substance,  into  some  of  ourboarding  schools. 
It  is  at  least  worth  while  for  a  young  woman 
who  perceives  her  need  of  such  an  arrange- 
ment, to  attempt  it.  To  be  suddenly  required 
to  make  a  batch  of  bread,  or  wash  the  gar- 
ments, or  cook  the  victuals  of  a  household, 
and  to  feel,  at  twenty  years  of  age,  utterly  at 
a  loss  how  to  perform  the  whole  routine  of 
these  familiar  household  duties,  must  be  both 
distressing  to  herself  and  painful  to  others. 

Of  course  it  is  not  desirable  to  see  our 
young  women  all  orphans,  and  brought  up 
as  domestics,  for  the  sake  of  having  them 
brought  up  in  such  a  way  as  to  be  good  for 
something,*  instead  of  being  the  poor  depend- 


*  Nor  can  I  wish  to  see  young  women  trained  to  do  the 
"  buying  and  selling-,"  instead  of  men,  in  order  to  give  energy 
to  their  character  ;  although  I  do  not  doubt  that  such  a  course 
is  often  successful.  It  is  related  by  Mr.  Ennis,  a  highly 
credible  traveller,  that  in  Bali  and  Lombok,  two  islands  lying 
eastward  of  Java,  the  females  do  all  the  buying  and  selling, 
even  to  the  amount  of  thousands  of  dollars.  "  This  probably 
gives,"  he  says,  "  to  the  whole  race  of  people  a  portion  of 
that  boldness  and  energy  for  which  they  are  a  little  distin- 
guished." But  then,  as  he  very  honestly  adds,  it  gives  the 
women  somewhat  of  a  masculine  character — a  thing  which, 
as  it  seems  to  me,  should  not  by  any  means  be  encouraged. 


140  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

ent  beings  they  too  commonly  are ;  yet  it  were 
greatly  to  be  desired,  that  without  the  disad- 
vantages of  orphans  at  service  in  families, 
they  could  have  the  energy  and  self-depend- 
ence of  such  persons. 

Allow  me  to  relate,  for  your  instruction,  a 
few  anecdotes  respecting  an  individual,  who 
was,  to  all  intents  and  purposes,  an  orphan, 
but  who  was,  nevertheless,  more  useful  in 
life,  and  more  truly  happy,  than  a  hundred  or 
a  thousand  of  some  of  those  passive  mortals 
who  float  through  life  on  streams  of  abund- 
ance, without  feeling  the  agitation  of  tide  or 
current,  and  only  discover  the  misery  of  such 
a  course,  when  they  fall  into  the  gulf  of  insig- 
nificance. 

This  individual  had  been  abandoned  by  one 
of  her  parents  very  early  in  life,  and  had  been 
also  early  separated  by  poverty  from  the  other. 
She  had  lived  in  various  families,  and  had 
been  compelled  to  hard  labor,  and  sometimes 
to  menial  services.  At  length  she  married  a 
person  as  poor  as  herself,  though  not  so  inde- 
pendent. He  had  been  bred  in  the  midst  of 
ease;  and  was,  consequently,  indolent.  But 
she  was  determined  on  "going  ahead"  in 
the  world ;  and  her  ambition  at  length  roused 
her  husband. 


SELF-DEPENDEXCE.  141 

The  latter  now  engaged  in  hard  labor,  by 
the  day  or  the  month,  among  his  neighbors; 
while  the  wife  took  care  of  the  concerns  at 
home.  This  continued  for  fifteen  or  sixteen 
years,  before  their  joint  labors  procured  land 
enough  for  the  husband  to  work  on,  at  home. 
In  the  mean  time,  however,  they  had  a  number 
of  children;  and  the  mother's  cares  and  labors 
of  course  increased.  For  several  of  the  first 
of  these  years,  the  husband  was  seldom  at 
home  to  assist  or  encourage  her,  in  the  sum- 
mer, except  during  the  Sabbath  and  occa- 
sionally at  evening;  so  that  though  this  di- 
minished the  labor  of  cooking,  it  left  her  with 
her  children  wholly  on  her  hands,  and  a  great 
deal  of  unavoidable  labor,  such  as  washing 
and  ironing.  The  latter  work  she  did  for 
her  husband,  as  well  as  for  her  children  and 
herself:  and  it  was  therefore  an  item  of 
considerable  moment — especially  as  she  was 
obliged  to  bring  water  for  this  and  all  her 
domestic  purposes,  in  pails,  the  distance  of 
twenty-five  or  thirty  rods,  a  part  of  the  year, 
and  of  ten  rods  or  so,  the  other  part;  besides 
which,  she  had  to  pick  up  much  of  her  wood, 
for  the  six  summer  months,  in  the  woods 
nearly  a  quarter  of  a  mile  distant,  carry  it 


142  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

home  in  her  arms,  and  to  cut  it  for  the  fire- 
place. Added  to  all  this,  was  the  labor  of 
brewing  once  or  twice  a  week;  for  in  those 
days,  when  poverty  denied  cider  to  a  family, 
the  beer  barrel  was  regarded  as  indispen- 
sable. 

Nor  were  her  domestic  concerns,  properly 
so  called,  her  only  labors.  She  spun  and 
wove  cloth  for  the  use  of  her  family,  besides 
weaving  for  some  of  her  neighbors.  She  also 
spun  and  wove  a  great  deal  of  coarse  cloth,  at 
shares;  and  thus  purchased  a  large  part  of 
the  smaller  necessaries  of  the  family,  and  not 
a  little  of  the  clothing. 

She  continued  this  course,  I  say,  something 
like  fifteen  years.  Never,  to  my  knowledge, 
unless  she  was  actually  sick,  did  she  receive 
any  assistance  in  her  labors — not  so  much  as 
a  day's  work  of  washing.  And  yet  under  all 
these  disadvantages,  she  reared — almost  with- 
out help  even  from  the  children  themselves, 
as  the  difference  between  the  oldest  and  the 
youngest  was  only  about  eight  years — a  family 
of  four  children. 

I  have  sometimes  wondered  how  she  ac- 
complished so  much,  by  her  own  unaided 
efforts.      But    the   whole    secret   lay    in   her 


SELF-DEPENDENCE.  143 

power  of  self-dependence.  She  could  do 
every  thing  alone.  She  had  been  trained  to 
it.  She  was  truly  independent;  as  much  so, 
perhaps,  as  a  female  can  be  in  this  world. 

I  might  have  added,  that  notwithstanding 
these  incessant  labors,  I  have  often  known 
her  to  walk  four  or  five  miles  to  church  on  the 
Sabbath,  and  home  again  in  the  same  manner; 
that  she  was  neat  and  orderly;  and  that  she 
found  much  time  to  read  and  converse  with 
her  children,  and  for  social  visiting. 

Reader,  1  do  not  ask  you  to  imitate  this 
veteran  matron ;  for  it  would  be  too  much  to 
ask  of  any  individual  in  any  age,  especially 
the  present.  But  I  ask  you — and  with  great 
earnestness — to  acquire  the  power  of  self- 
dependence — and  to  do  it  immediately.  Make 
it  a  matter  of  conscience.  Bear  constantly  in 
mind,  that  whatever  has  been  done,  may  be 
done.  Shame  on  those  who,  knowing  the 
value  of  self-dependence,  and  having  the 
power  to  acquire  it,  pass  through  life  so  shift- 
less, that  they  cannot  do  the  least  thing  with- 
out aid — the  aid  of  a  host  of  relatives  or 
menials.  It  is  quite  time  that  woman  should 
understand  her  power  and  her  strength,  and 
govern  herself  accordingly.     It  is  quite  time 


144  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

for  her  to  stand  upright  in  her  native,  heaven- 
born  dignity,  and  show  to  the  world — and  to 
angels,  even,  as  well  as  to  men — for  what 
woman  was  made,  and  wherein  consists  her 
true  excellence. 


CHAPTER  XI. 


REASONING  AND  ORIGINALITY. 

Females  not  expected  to  be  reasoners.  Effects  of  modem 
education  on  the  reasoning  powers.  Education  of  former 
days,  illustrated  by  an  anecdote  of  an  octogenarian.  Ex- 
tracts from  her  correspondence.  Difficulty  in  getting  the 
ears  of  mankind.  The  reasoning  powers  in  man  susceptible 
of  cultivation  indefinitely.  Reflections  on  the  importance 
of  maternal  effort  and  female  education. 

I  know  not  why  a  young  woman  should  not 
reason  correctly  as  well  as  a  young  man.  And 
yet  I  must  confess,  that  some  how  or  other,  a 
masculine  idea  seems  to  be  often  attached  to 
the  thought  of  strong  reasoning  powers  in  the 
female  sex.  To  say  of  such  or  such  a  young 
woman,  She  is  a  bold  and  powerful  reasoner — 
would  it  not  be  a  little  uncommon?  Would  it 
be  received  as  a  compliment  ?  Would  it  not 
be  regarded  as  a  little  out  of  the  way — and,  to 
coin  a  term,  as  rather  unfeminine  ? 

Perhaps  the  habit  of  boldly  tracing  effects 
up  to  their  causes,  and  of  reasoning  upon 
13 


146  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

them,  is  a  little  more  uncommon  among  the 
young  misses  of  our  boarding  schools  and  our 
more  fashionable  families,  both  of  city  and 
country,  than  among  those  of  the  plainer  sort 
of  people.  Certain  it  is,  at  all  events,  that 
the  former  would  be  regarded  as  reasoning 
persons  with  much  more  reluctance  than  the 
latter.  And  yet  the  former  has  probably  been 
taught  mathematics,  and  all  those  sciences 
which  are  supposed  to  develope  and  strengthen 
the  mental  faculties,  and  give  energy  to  the 
reasoning  powers. 

For  myself,  I  have  many  doubts  whether 
we  are  really — whether  the  sex  themselves 
are,  I  mean — so  much  the  gainers  by  the 
superficial  knowledge  of  modern  days,  which 
tends  to  the  exclusion,  in  the  result,  of  that 
good  old  fashioned  education  to  house-work, 
which  was  given  by  the  mothers  of  New  Eng- 
land, in  the  days  of  her  primitive  beauty  and 
glory.  Then  were  our  young  women,  for  the 
times,  reasoning  women;  then  were  they  good 
for  something.  A  few  of  those  precious  relics 
of  a  comparatively  golden  age,  have  come 
down  nearly  to  our  own  times.  Since  the 
beginning  of  the  nineteenth  century,  I  have 
even  seen  several  of  them.     There  is  one  of 


REASONING    AND    ORIGINALITY.  147 

this  description,  eighty  years  of  age,  now 
living  with  a  son  of  hers  in  one  of  the  Middle 
States.  Her  sphere  of  action,  however,  in 
the  days  of  her  activity,  lay  not  there,  bnt  on 
one  of  those  delightful  hills  which  are  found 
at  the  termination  of  the  Green  Mountain 
range,  in  New  England.  There,  in  her 
secluded  country  residence,  among  plain  peo- 
ple, and  with  only  plain  means,  with  her  hus- 
band absent  mudi  of  the  time,  she  educated — 
not  instructed,  merely,  nor  brought  up  at 
school,  but  educated — a  large  family  of  chil- 
dren, most  of  whom  live  to  bless  her  memory 
and  the  world.  So  devoted  was  this  woman 
to  her  household  duties,  and  to  the  right  edu- 
cation of  her  family,  that  for  eleven  of  the  first 
and  hardest  years  of  her  life,  she  never  for 
once  left  the  hill  on  which  she  dwelt — a  mile 
or  so  in  extent.  Of  this  I  have  been  assured 
from  her  own  mouth,  and  can  therefore  rely 
on  the  statement. 

And  yet  this  female  was  a  woman  of  rea- 
soning powers  superior  to  those  of  most  men. 
She  understood,  thoroughly,  every  ordinary 
topic  of  conversation,  and  could  discuss  well 
any  subject  which  came  within  her  grasp. 
She  has  been  for  a  few  years  past,  one  of  my 


148  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

most  regular  and  most  valued  correspondents; 
and  nothing  but  her  great  age  and  great 
reluctance  to  put  pen  to  paper,  would,  I  pre- 
sume, prevent  her  from  writing  more  fre- 
quently than  she  is  accustomed  to  do.  As  a 
specimen  of  her  style,  I  venture  to  insert  a 
paragraph  or  two  from  her  letters.  The  first 
was  written  when  she  was  in  her  eightieth 
year. 

"  I  am  glad  to  find  you  in  the  enjoyment 
of  health — able  to  be  busily  and  usefully  em- 
ployed for  this  and  coming  generations.  I 
would  like,  if  it  was  God's  will,  to  be  usefully 
employed  in  such  ways,  too;  but  though  I 
am  so  greatly  favored  as  to  be  able  to  think 
as  well  as  ever,  I  cannot  work  with  my  wonted 
facility  and  despatch.  I  cannot  'labor  with 
my  hands,'  so  as  to  have  'to  give  to  him  that 
needeth,'  because  my  hands  are  weak  and 
lame.  Once  I  could  fill  six  sheets  of  letter 
paper  in  a  day,  without  weariness;  but  now, 
if  I  can  fill  this  sheet,  decently,  in  two  days, 
I  am  ready  to  boast  of  it,  as  an  achievement. 
When  I  look  back  and  see  my  former  activity, 
I  wonder  if  that  icas  myself,  and  am  almost 
ready  to  doubt  my  identity.  But  every  thing 
in  its  course;  first  rising  into  life,  then  de- 


REASONING    AND    ORICINALITY.  149 

caying.  The  world  itself  is  not  to  stand  for- 
ever; and  of  course  the  things  animate  and 
inanimate  which  are  upon  it,  must  partake  of 
its  transitoriness." 

Again,  when  she  was  within  a  few  weeks  of 
eighty  years  of  age,  (which  was  in  January 
of  last  year,)  she  wrote  to  me  in  the  following 
vein  of  playfulness: 

"As  I  can  invent  nothing  new,  I  must  utter 
such  truisms  as  I  have  picked  up  by  the  way, 
in  almost  eighty  years;  for  you  say  to  me, 
write — and  of  course  I  obey,  and  scribble  on. 
Now  I  say  to  you — and  may  I  say  it  to  Mrs. 
A.  too? — write.  Write  very  sensibly,  by  the 
way;  for  old  as  I  am,  I  am  a  sharp  critic.  I 
read  in  my  early  days,  Lord  Kaimes'  Ele- 
ments, and  I  have  been  working  up  these  ele- 
ments ever  since;  and  if  I  cannot  invent,  I 
can  understand  what  is  fairly  presented  to 
me:  so  you  will  receive  this  as  a  caution. 
But  do  n't  be  afraid!  I  '11  tell  you  another 
thing,  of  which,  perhaps,  you  are  not  aware; 
I  had  rather  have  one  letter  warm  from  the 
heart,  than  a  dozen  from  the  head." 

"  I  was  delighted  to  think  you  were  pleased 
with  my  philosophy — for   I  never  dreamed  I 
uttered  any.     As  to  my  politics,  I  was  pretty 
13* 


150  THE    YOUNG   WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

well  drilled  in  the  school  of  Washington,  after 
seeing  through  the  revolutionary  struggle; 
and  that  was  no  mean  school,  I  assure  you. 
Washington  was  a  statesman!  I  see  but  few 
now;  but  when  I  do  see  one,  I  make  him  my 
best  courtesy.  And  as  to  my  theology,  I 
learned  that  from  the  pilgrim  fathers.  I  believe 
they  were  about  right." 

Now  whether  those  of  my  younger  readers 
of  a  new  generation,  who,  perhaps,  almost 
despise  both  letter  writing  and  reasoning — 
whether  any  of  these,  I  say,  will  see  either 
form  or  comeliness — any  thing  inviting — in 
these  paragraphs,  I  cannot  say.  But  I  can 
tell  them,  at  once,  that  /do;  and  it  sometimes 
seems  to  me,  that  no  greater  human  bene- 
faction could  be  offered  to  mankind,  than  the 
application  of  those  principles  and  methods  of 
female  education  in  family  and  school,  which 
would  produce  such  minds,  and  bodies,  and 
spirits,  as  those  of  which  we  have,  in  the  case 
of  this  aged  woman,  an  example! 

Perhaps,  however,  it  is  almost  useless  to 
hope  for  better  times,  at  present,  for  reasons, 
among  others,  which  are  given  in  another 
place,  by  my  aged  correspondent.  "  The  mis- 
chief, now-a-days,"  she  says,  "is,  that  every 


REASONING    AND    ORIGINALITY.  151 

one  is  on  a  rail-road,  impelled  by  steam  power, 
and  cannot  stay  to  hear;  so  all  speak  at  once, 
and  none  hear.  What  a  state  is  this!  But  it 
is  true  of  the  world  in  general.  I  see  but 
few  who  are  self-possessed.  I  wonder  when 
I  see  any  one  who  is  so;  and  I  wonder  if  I 
am  so  myself." 

But  we  are  not  only  unwilling  to  stay  to 
hear — we  are  unwilling  to  stay  to  teach.  It 
would  be  no  hard  matter  for  parents  and 
teachers — especially  by  beginning  early — to 
establish  in  the  young  of  both  sexes,  habits  of 
right  reasoning.  I  am  afraid,  however,  that 
parents  and  teachers  themselves  do  not  per- 
ceive the  value  of  such  a  habit,  and  that  they 
are  not  likely  to  do  so  for  some  time  to  come. 

All,  however,  which  remains  for  me  to  do, 
I  must  do.  This  is,  to  press  upon  the  few 
whose  ear  I  can  gain,  the  importance  of  this 
part  of  self-education.  Do  not  despise  the 
idea  of  reasoning  on  subjects  which  come  be- 
fore you ;  nor  think  it  masculine  or  old- 
fashioned.  Not  only  accustom  yourselves  to 
reason,  but  to  reason  on  every  thing.  There 
is  almost  as  great  a  difference  between  a 
young  woman  who  takes  all  things  upon  trust, 
scarcely  knowing  that  she  can  use  her  own 


152  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

powers  in  the  investigation  of  truth,  and  one 
who  has  been,  like  my  worthy  and  venerable 
correspondent,  in  the  habit  of  observing  and 
reasoning  seventy  or  eighty  years,  as  there 
is  between  a  Sam  Patch  and  a  Bowditch — or 
a  Hottentot  and  a  Newton.  Would  that  our 
young  women  knew  this,  and  would  conduct 
themselves  accordingly. 

There  is  nothing  in  the  wide  field  of  human 
improvement  which  better  repays  the  labor  of 
cultivation,  than  the  reasoning  powers.  Nor 
is  there  any  thing  which  does  more  to  perfect 
and  adorn  the  human  being.  With  the  highest 
and  noblest  rational  powers,  the  human  family 
— especially  the  female  part  of  it — seem  to  me 
to  accomplish  least  happily  the  great  work 
for  which  they  were  created,  than  any  other 
earthly  existences.  The  little  all  of  knowledge 
which  pertains  to  the  lower  animals,  "  flows  in 
at  once,"  says  Dr.  Young;  whereas,  "were 
man  to  live  coeval  with  the  sun,  the  patriarch 
pupil  might  be  learning  still,  yet  dying,  leave 
his  lessons  half  unlearnt."  And  yet  the 
former  fills,  happily,  the  sphere  which  God  in 
nature  assigned  them;  while  the  latter,  with 
all  his  capacities  and  powers  of  reason,  con- 
science,   &c,   wanders   incessantly  from   his 


REASONING    AND    ORIGINALITY.  153 

orbit,  and  must  be  a  most  unsightly  spectacle 
to  God  and  holy  angels,  and  all  other  high 
and  noble  intelligences.  When  will  man 
return  to  his  native  sphere,  and  the  moral  and 
intellectual  world  move  in  due  harmony  and 
happiness,  like  the  physical  ?  When  will  each 
moral  creation  of  the  Divine  Architect,  move 
round  .its  great  spiritual  centre,  with  the  same 
beauty,  and  majesty,  and  glory,  which  is  mani- 
fest in  the  motions  of  the  physical  world? 
Never,  I  am  sure,  till  mothers  and  teachers, 
who  are,  as  it  seems,  the  authors  alike  of 
human  happiness  and  human  misery,  come  up 
to  their  appropriate  work  ;  and  never  will 
there  be  such  mothers,  till  young  women  are 
better  trained.  And  the  latter  will  never  be 
better  trained,  till  the  work  of  education, 
especially  of  self-education,  is  undertaken  with 
much  better  views  of  its  objects  and  ends, 
and  with  a  thousand  times  more  earnestness 
and  perseverance — and  I  might  even  say  en- 
thusiasm— than  has  as  yet  been  manifested. 


CHAPTER  XII. 


INVENTION. 


An  apology.  Why  -woman  has  invented  so  few  things. 
Abundant  room  for  the  exercise  of  her  inventive  powers. 
Hints.  Particular  need  of  a  reform  in  cooking.  Appeal 
to  young  women  on  this  subject. 

The  word  Invention,  at  the  head  of  one  of 
my  chapters,  may  possibly  excite  a  smile; 
and  it  would  by  no  means  surprise  me,  if  some 
of  my  readers  should  ask  whether  I  am  going 
to  advise  them  to  direct  their  attention  to  the 
discovery  of  perpetual  motion!  Let  them, 
however,  lay  by  their  jokes,  and  have  pa- 
tience to  hear  me  through. 

It  is  passing  strange,  that  in  a  world  where 
have  been  sought  out — time  immemorial — so 
many  inventions,  so  few  should  as  yet  have 
been  originated  by  woman. 

What  have  the  inventive  powers  of  woman 
accomplished,  even  within  what  have  been 
usually  regarded  as  her  own  precincts?  Has 
she  invented  many  special  improvements  in  the 


INVENTION.  Id  5 

ail  of  house-keeping?  Have  the  labors  of 
knitting,  sewing,  making,  mending,  washing, 
cooking,  &c,  been  materially  facilitated,  or 
rendered  more  effective,  by  her  ingenuity? 
Has  she  done  much  to  advance  the  important 
art  of  bread-making  towards  perfection? 

Why  has  she  not  done  more  ?  Is  genius  con- 
fined to  our  sex  ?  Nay,  is  there  even  no  common 
ingenuity  out  of  the  range  of  our  own  walks? 
Has  not  the  young  woman,  when  she  begins 
the  world,  the  same  mental  faculties,  in  num- 
ber and  kind,  with  the  young  man?  How 
happens  it,  then,  that  the  world  is  filled  with 
inventions,  and  so  few  of  them  originated  by 


woman 


There  is  a  wide  range  for  improvement  in 
that  department  of  human  labor  which  has 
usually  been  confined  to  the  female  sex — 
especially  in  the  department  of  infant  education. 
Nor  is  there  any  department  in  which  inven- 
tion would  tell  with  so  much  efficiency  in  the 
cause  of  human  happiness,  as  in  that.  Let 
our  young  women  consider  this;  and  let  them 
resolve  on  inventing  something  in  their  own 
particular  sphere,  which  shall  turn  to  the 
general  account. 

When  I  speak  of  the  appropriate  sphere  of 


156  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

woman,  and  of  her  taxing  her  powers  of  inven- 
tion there,  I  would  by  no  means  indulge  my- 
self in  any  narrow  or  circumscribed  views  in 
regard  to  her  field  of  operation.  I  should 
have  no  sort  of  objection  to  the  application  of 
her  inventive  powers  to  the  work  of  facili- 
tating the  usual  labors  of  the  other  sex — par- 
ticularly in  the  departments  of  agriculture  and 
horticulture.  But  I  do  not  perceive  any  ne- 
cessity for  this.  I  believe  there  is  work 
enough — profitable  and  philanthropic  work, 
too — to  task  woman's  powers  of  invention  for 
many  centuries,  without  her  going  out  of  her 
appropriate  sphere.  In  the  art  of  cookery 
especially — which  certainly  has  a  great  deal 
to  do  with  physical  education  and  physical  im- 
provement— there  is  great  room  for  the  exer- 
cise of  inventive  powers.  This  important  art 
is,  as  yet,  entirely  in  its  infancy;  and  where  any 
progress  has  been  made,  it  has  been  chiefly 
in  a  wrong  direction,  and  under  the  guidance 
of  wrong  principles.  Be  it  yours,  young 
women,  to  give  this  matter  a  right  direction, 
and  to  bring  it  to  bear  as  efficiently  on  the 
happiness  of  mankind,  as  it  has  hitherto  on 
their  slow  destruction. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

OBSERVATION  AND  REFLECTION. 

Advice  of  Dr.  Dwight.    Other  counsels  to  the  young.    Some 
persons  of  both  sexes  are  always  seeing,  but  never  reflect- 
ing.    An  object  deserving  of  pity.     Zimmerman's  views. 
"J       Reading  to  get  rid  of  reflection.     Worse  things  still. 

"  Keep  your  eyes  open,"  was  the  reiterated 
counsel  of  a  distinguished  theologian,  of  this 
country — the  late  Dr.  Timothy  Dwight — to  a 
young  student  of  his;  and  it  was,  in  the  main, 
very  wholesome  advice.  And  in  so  far  as  it  is 
wholesome  for  young  men,  I  do  not  see  but  it 
is  equally  so  for  young  women. 

"Your  countenance  open,  your  thoughts 
close,  you  will  go  safe  through  the  world" — 
was  the  advice  of  another  individual,  of  less 
eminence,  to  a  young  friend  of  his;  and  did  it 
not  savor  a  little  too  much  of  selfishness,  and 
perhaps  of  concealment,  it  would,  like  the  ad- 
vice of  Dr.  Dwight,  be  worthy  of  careful  con- 
sideration. It  does  not  partake  quite  enough 
14 


158  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

of  the  gospel  spirit  and  sentiment — "As  a  man 
hath  received,  so  let  him  give."  It  encourages 
us  to  get  wisdom,  but  not  to  communicate  it. 

I  have  said  that  the  advice  of  Dr.  Dwight 
was,  in  the  main,  wholesome.  The  only  ob- 
jection that  can  be  made  to  it  is,  that  it  gives 
no  encouragement  to  reflection.  Some  may- 
suppose  it  to  mean,  that  observation,  or  seeing, 
is  every  thing.  Now  there  are  those  who  ap- 
pear to  see  too  much.  They  ahvays  have  their 
eyes  open.  They  are  never  satisfied  other- 
wise.    They  absolutely  hate  all  reflection. 

Of  this  description  of  persons — I  am  sorry 
to  say  it — our  young  women  furnish  a  full 
proportion.  Not  a  very  small  number  of  the 
female  sex  are  so  educated,  that  it  is  quite 
painful  for  them  to  turn  the  current  of  their 
thoughts  inward: — they  will  do  almost  any 
thing  in  the  world,  not  absolutely  criminal,  to 
prevent  it.  It  cannot,  indeed,  be  quite  said, 
that  they  observe  too  much;  but  it  is  perfectly 
safe  to  say,  that  they  see  too  much.  If  they 
should  see  much  less  with  their  eyes,  and  the 
soul  were  left  to  its  own  reflections,  the  result 
would  be,  no  doubt,  exceedingly  happy.  Soli- 
tude is  as  necessary  as  action;  and  to  both 
sexes. 


OBSERVATION  AND  REFLECTION.     159 

No  person  is  more  pitiable  than  the  indi- 
vidual of  either  sex — and  such  individuals 
are  by  no  means  scarce  in  our  own — who  can- 
not be  easy  unless  perpetually  running  to  see 
some  new  sight,  or,  like  the  Athenians  of  old, 
to  hear  or  to  tell  some  new  thing ;  who  is  no- 
where so  happy  as  when  in  company,  and  no- 
where so  miserable  as  when  alone. 

Zimmerman,  in  his  work  on  Solitude — a 
pleasant  book,  by  the  way,  notwithstanding  its 
gloomy  name — has  some  very  appropriate  and 
useful  remarks  on  the  advantages  of  being  by 
ourselves  a  part  of  the  time,  as  a  means  of  im- 
provement. Should  any  of  my  young  readers 
be  sorely  afflicted  with  the  disease  I  have  just 
mentioned — a  dread  of  themselves,  or  of  their 
own  thoughts,  rather — I  beg  them  to  read 
Zimmerman.  But  read  him,  if  you  read  him 
at  all,  very  thoroughly. 

Some  persons  read  solely  to  get  rid  of 
reflection.  Worse  than  this,  even ;  some 
persons  read,  work  and  play — and  I  had 
almost  said,  go  to  church,  and  put  themselves 
in  the  attitude  of  prayer  and  praise — to  get  rid 
of  themselves  and  their  reflections.  Who  will 
show  us  any  good  thing ?  is  their  constant  cry: 
not,  Who  will  lead  us,  by  external  agencies, 


or  by  any  other  means,  to  sound  and  useful 
reflection.  Who  will  show  us  ourselves?  is  a 
cry  which,  among  the  young  women  of  New 
England,  as  well  as  those  of  most  other  coun- 
tries, is  too  seldom  heard. 

The  best  advice  I  can  give  to  such  per- 
sons— next  to  that  given  in  the  Sermon  on 
the  Mount,  where  they  are  directed  to  enter 
into  their  closet — is  to  read  with  great  care — 
or  rather  to  study — Watts  on  the  Improve- 
ment of  the  Mind.  That  is  a  work  which  has 
probably  done  as  much  good  in  the  way  of 
which  I  am  now  speaking,  as  any  book — the 
Bible  excepted — in  the  English  language. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 


THE  RIGHT  USE  OF  TIME. 

Great  value  of  moments.  An  old  maxim.  Wasting  shreds 
of  time.  Time  more  valuable  than  money.  What  are  the 
most  useful  charities.  Doing-  good  by  proxy.  Value  of 
time  for  reflection.  Doing  nothing.  Rendering  an  account 
of  our  time  at  the  last  tribunal. 

Ox  this  subject — the  right  use  of  time — 
sermons,  not  to  say  volumes,  without  number, 
have  been  written;  and  yet  it  is  still  true,  as 
an  eminent  poet  has  well  said,  that  the  indi- 
vidual "is  yet  unborn  who  duly  weighs  an 
hour." 

But  my  business  is  not  so  much  to  dwell  at 
large  on  the  value  of  time  in  its  larger  divi- 
sions— such  as  days  and  hours — as  to  urge, 
in  the  first  place,  an  attention  to  moments. 
"Take  care  of  the  pence,"  says  an  old  but 
just  maxim,  "and  the  pounds  will  take  care 
of  themselves;"  and  it  is  somewhat  so  in 
regard  to  time.  Take  care  of  the  moments, 
14* 


162  THE   YOUNG   WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

and  the  hours  and  days  will  take  care  of  them- 
selves. 

Not,  indeed,  that  hours  and  even  days  are 
not  wasted,  and  worse  than  wasted;  but  the 
great  error  is,  in  disregarding  the  value  and 
slighting  the  use  of  those  smaller  fragments, 
of  which  hours,  days  and  years  are  made. 
Show  me  the  individual,  young  or  old,  who 
sets  any  thing  like  a  just  value  on  moments  of 
time,  and  you  will  show  me  the  person  who 
values,  in  a  proper  manner,  its  larger  divi- 
sions. 

I  have  ventured  upon  this  hackneyed  sub- 
ject, because  I  have  often  thought  that  young 
women — more,  if  possible,  than  most  other 
young  persons — need  to  be  reminded  of  the 
unspeakable  importance  of  moments.  It  is 
only  a  minute  or  two — many  will  say,  or  seem 
to  say;  and  so  they  let  time  pass  unemployed. 
But  these  leisure  moments  are  frequently 
recurring;  and  the  more  they  are  slighted  and 
wasted,  the  more  they  will  be.  And  what  is 
worse,  she  who  frequently  says,  It  is  only 
a  minute — and  who  makes  this  serve  as  an 
apology  for  wasting  it — will  soon  extend  the 
same  apology  to  much  larger  portions  of  time. 
The  current  of  human  nature  is  ever  down- 


THE    RIGHT    USE    OF    TIME.  1  G3 

ward:  let  those  who  love  improvement  and 
desire  to  be  improved,  remember  it  is  so; 
and  let  them  ever  be  mindful,  in  this  respect, 
of  their  danger. 

There  are  thousands  who  suffer  themselves 
to  waste  shreds  of  time  which  might  be  ap- 
plied to  the  attainment  of  knowledge — valua- 
ble knowledge — or  to  the  work  of  doing  good 
in  a  world  where  so  much  good  needs  to  be 
done,  who  would  not  be  willing  to  waste  the 
smallest  sum  of  money.  I  would  not  speak 
lightly  of  the  habit  of  wasting  money;  but  it 
must  be  admitted  by  all,  that  she  who  wastes, 
without  remorse  of  conscience,  her  precious 
moments  which  might  be  usefully  employed — 
if  not  in  action,  at  least  in  conversation,  or 
reading,  or  reflection — and  yet  would  not,  on 
any  account,  waste  a  cent  of  money,  is  justly 
chargeable,  in  a  moral  point  of  view,  with 
straining  at  a  gnat,  and  swallowing  a  camel. 

For  it  should  never  be  forgotton,  that  how- 
ever valuable  money  may  be,  time  is  much 
more  so.  It  is  much  more  so,  even  as  a 
means  of  doing  good.  There  are  very  many 
mis,  it  is  true,  who  seem  to  think  other- 
wise They  seem  not  to  think  that  they  can 
do  good  with  any  thing  but  money. 


164  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

Let  us  reflect,  however,  that  no  charity  is 
more  truly  valuable,  than  visiting  and  aiding 
the  sick,  encouraging  the  depressed,  instruct- 
ing the  ignorant,  Stc.  Now  is  not  she  who 
does  the  latter,  more  sure  of  doing  good  than 
she  who  only  gives  the  former?  In  the 
latter  case,  she  bestows  the  very  thing  which 
is  truly  needful;  in  the  former  case,  she  only 
bestows  that  which  is  a  means  of  doing  good. 
These  means  may  or  may  not  be  properly  ap- 
plied; of  this  the  donor  cannot  be  certain. 
But  when,  instead  of  giving  money  or  doing 
the  good  by  proxy,  she  does  it  herself,  the 
work  is  done,  and  done  in  her  own  way:  and 
if  not  done  well,  she  is  responsible.  She  is 
not  made,  in  that  case,  responsible  for  her 
neighbors. 

But  is  all  time  wasted  that  is  not  spent  in 
action,  as  some  of  my  remarks  might  seem  to 
imply?  By  no  means.  I  have  already  spoken, 
in  this  chapter,  of  the  use  of  time  for  reflec- 
tion; and  in  the  preceding  one,  have  dwelt 
more  especially  on  the  value  of  solitude  at 
certain  seasons.  What  I  mean  to  urge  is,  the 
folly  of  trifling  away  time  in  absolutely  doing 
nothing.  There  is  a  sort  of  listlessness — or, 
perhaps    more    properly,    reverie — in    which 


THE    RIGHT    USE    OF    TI3IE.  105 

many  indulge,  which  is  as  sinful  as  it  is  unpro- 
fitable; and  there  are  modes  of  thinking  and 
subjects  of  thought,  which  are,  to  say  the 
least,  unworthy  of  a  rational,  intelligent  and 
immortal  spirit. 

I  am  not  sure  that  there  are  not  times — 
very  short  seasons,  I  mean — during  our  wak- 
ing hours,  even  with  those  who  are  in  toler- 
able health,  when  we  best  serve  God  and  our 
fellow  men  by  doing  absolutely  nothing  at  all. 
I  am  not  sure,  I  say,  that  this  may  not  be  the 
case.  Still,  if  it  is  so,  we  should  be  exceed- 
ingly careful  not  to  run  into  excess  in  this 
respect;  an  error  which  seems  to  be  almost 
inevitable.  For  one  who  spends  too  little 
time  in  doing  nothing,  it  is  believed  a  thousand 
spend  too  much  in  this  way.  And  let  it  never 
be  forgotten,  that  not  only  for  every  idle  word, 
but  for  every  misspent  moment,  we  are,  ac- 
cording to  Scripture,  to  render  an  account  in 
the  day  when  God  will  judge  the  secrets  of 
each  heart,  according  to  the  gospel  of  our 
Lord  and   Saviour  Jesus  Christ. 

How  valuable — how  immensely  valuable — 
will  a  few,  only,  of  those  moments  which 
we  now  let  slip  with  so  much  readiness, 
appear  to  us  in  that  great  day!    What  would 


166  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

we  not  then  give  for  them?  Five  minutes 
here,  spent  in  listlessness,  or  in  doing  abso- 
lutely nothing;  five  there,  spent  in  idle  or 
wicked  conversation;  and  five  there,  in  unne- 
cessary attentions  to  our  person  or  dress — 
how  will  the  ghosts,  as  it  were,  of  these  de- 
parted seasons,  haunt  and  torture  us!  Though 
willing  to  give  worlds  to  recall  them — not  only 
for  the  sake  of  our  own  souls,  but  for  those 
of  others — thousands  of  worlds  cannot  buy 
them.  No,  not  one  solitary  five  minutes. 
Happy  is  she  who  "wastes  not,"  that  she 
may  "want  not,"  here  or  hereafter. 


CHAPTER  XV. 


LOVE  OF  DOMESTIC  CONCERNS. 

Reasons  for  loving-  domestic  life.  1.  Young- women  should 
have  some  avocation.  Labor  regarded  as  drudgery.  2. 
Domestic  employment  healthy.  3.  It  is  pleasant.  4.  It 
affords  leisure  for  intellectual  improvement.  5.  It  is  favor- 
able to  social  improvement.  G.  It  is  the  employment  as- 
signed them  by  Divine  Providence,  and  is  eminently  con- 
ducive to  moral  improvement.  The  moral  lessons  of  do- 
mestic life.     A  well  ordered  home  a  miniature  of  heaven. 

I  have  incidentally  made  a  few  remarks  on 
this  subject  elsewhere;  but  its  importance 
demands  a  further  and  more  attentive  consid- 
eration. 

There  are  numerous  reasons  which  might 
be  mentioned,  why  a  young  woman  ought  to 
cultivate  a  love  of  domestic  life,  and  of  do- 
mestic concerns;  but  I  shall  only  advert  to  a 
few  of  them. 

1.  Every  young  woman  should  have  some 
avocation,  or  calling.  The  Jews  formerly  had 
a  proverb,  that  whoever  of  their  sons  was  not 


168  THE    YOUxNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

bred  to  a  trade,  was  bred  to  the  gallows;  and 
both  Mohammedans  and  Pagans  have  maxims 
among  them  which  amount  to  the  same  thing. 
But  is  that  which  is  so  destructive  to  the 
character  of  young  men — I  mean  the  want 
of  proper  employment — entirely  harmless  to 
young  women?     It  surely  cannot  be. 

True  it  is — and  deeply  to  be  regretted — that 
there  is  a  fashionable  feeling  abroad,  which  is 
the  reverse  of  all  this.  Both  men  and  women, 
in  fashionable  life,  are  apt  to  regard  all  labor — 
not  only  manual,  but  mental — as  mere  drud- 
gery. They  will  labor,  perhaps,  if  they  can- 
not help  it;  but  seldom,  if  they  can.  Or  at 
least,  this  seems  to  be  their  feeling  when  they 
begin  a  course  of  industrious  action.  Some, 
it  is  confessed,  finally  become  so  much  ac- 
customed to  action,  that  they  continue  it, 
either  as  a  matter  of  mere  habit,  or  because 
its  discontinuance  would  now  render  them  as 
miserable  as  they  were  in  breaking  up  their 
natural  indolence,  and  in  forming  their  present 
industrious  habits. 

2.  She  should  love  the  concerns  and  cares 
of  domestic  life,  because  no  ordinary  employ- 
ment contributes  more,  on  the  whole,  to  female 
health. 


LOVE    OF    DOMESTIC    CONCERNS.  1  GO 

I  do  not  mean  to  say,  that  there  is  no  other 
kind  of  employment  which  could  be  rendered 
equally  healthy  with  doing  house-work;  but 
only  that,  as  a  whole,  and  especially  in  the 
present  state  of  public  sentiment,  this  is  de- 
cidedly the  best.  Perhaps,  in  some  circum- 
stances, moderate  labor — labor  proportioned 
to  her  strength — in  the  field,  or  in  the  garden, 
might  be  healthier,  were  she  trained  to  it; 
but  as  things  and  customs  now  are,  this  can 
hardly  be  done. 

3.  The  employment  is  a  pleasant  one.  It 
has  at  once  all  the  advantages  of  a  shelter 
from  the  severe  cold  of  the  winter,  and  of  se- 
clusion from  the  sultry  sun  of  summer,  and  the 
storms  of  winter  and  summer  both.*  And  not 
only  is  the  house-keeper  favored  in  these 
respects,  but  in  many  others.  A  pleasant, 
well  ordered  home,  is  perhaps  the  most  per- 
fect representation  of  the  felicity  of  the  heaven 
above,  which  the  earth  affords.  At  any  rate, 
it   is   a  source  of  very  great  happiness;    and 

*  Perhaps  it  maybe  said,  that  woman  actually  suffers  more 
from  the  extremes  of  heat  and  cold,  than  man,  notwithstand- 
ing her  seclusion.  This  may  he  true;  but  I  still  think  her 
constitution  is  not  quite  as  liable  to  injury  from  the  weather, 
as  that  of  man;  besides  which,  she  is  rather  less  liable  to 
accidents. 

]5 


170  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

woman,  when  she  is  what  she  should  be,  is 
thus  made  a  conspicuous  agent  in  communi- 
cating that  happiness. 

Are  not,  then,  home,  and  the  domestic  con- 
cerns of  home,  desirable?  Are  they  not  agree- 
able ?  Or  if  not,  should  not  every  young  wo- 
man strive  to  make  them  so  ?  How  then  does 
it  happen  that  an  idea  of  meanness  is  attached 
to  them?  How  does  it  happen  that  almost 
every  young  woman  who  can,  gets  rid  of 
them — as  almost  every  young  man  does  of 
farming  and  other  manual  labor. 

4.  Home  affords  to  young  women  the  means 
and  opportunities  of  intellectual  improvement. 
I  do  not  mean  to  affirm,  that  the  progress 
they  can  make  in  mere  science,  amid  domestic 
concerns,  will  be  quite  as  great  in  a  given 
time — say  one  year — as  it  might  be  in  many 
of  our  best  schools.  But  I  do  mean  to  say, 
that  it  might  be  rapid  enough  for  every  prac- 
tical purpose.  I  might  say,  also,  that  young 
women  who  study  a  little  every  day  under  the 
eye  of  a  judicious  mother,  and  teach  that  little 
to  their  brothers  and  sisters,  will  be  more  truly 
wise  at  the  end  of  their  pupilage,  than  they 
who  only  study  books  in  the  usual  old  fash- 
ioned— I  might   say,  rather,  new  fashioned — 


LOVE    OF    DOMESTIC    CONCERNS.  171 

manner.     It  is  in  these   circumstances  more 
strikingly  true  than  elsewhere,  that 

"  Teaching-,  wc  give — and  giving,  we  retain." 

5.  But  once  more.  She  who  is  employed 
in  the  domestic  circle,  is  more  favorably  situ- 
ated— I  mean,  if  the  domestic  circle  is  what  it 
should  be — for  social  improvement,  than  she 
could  he  elsewhere.  She  may  not,  it  is  true, 
hold  so  much  converse  on  the  fashions — or  be 
a  means  of  inventing,  or  especially  of  retailing, 
so  much  petty  scandal — as  in  some  other  sit- 
uation, or  in  other  circumstances.  Still,  the 
society  of  home  will  be  better  and  more  truly 
refined,  than  if  it  were  more  hollow,  and  af- 
fected, and  insincere — in  other  words,  made 
up  of  more  fashionable  materials.  If  to  be 
fashionable  is  to  distort  nature  as  much  as 
possible — and  if  the  most  fashionable  society 
is  that  which  is  thus  distorted  in  the  highest 
degree — then  it  must  be  admitted  that  home 
cannot  always  be  the  best  place  for  the  edu- 
cation of  young  women. 

6.  But,  lastly,  young  women  should  love 
domestic  life,  and  the  care  and  society  of  the 
young,  because  it  is,  without  doubt,  the  inten- 
tion of  Divine  Providence  that  they  should  do 


172  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

so;  and  because  home,  and  the  concerns  of 
home,  afford  the  best  opportunities  and  means 
of  moral  improvement. 

The  prerogative  of  woman — the  peculiar 
province  which  God  in  nature  has  assigned 
her — has  been  already  alluded  to  with  suffi- 
cient distinctness.  Let  every  reader,  then, 
follow  out  the  hint,  and  ask  herself  whether 
it  is  not  important  that  she  should  love  the 
place  and  circumstances  thus  assigned  her; 
and  whether  she  who  hates  them,  is  likely 
to  derive  from  them  the  great  moral  lessons 
they  are  eminently  designed  to  inculcate. 

Is  it  asked  what  moral  lessons,  so  mightily 
important,  can  be  learned  in  the  nursery  and 
in  the  kitchen?  In  return,  I  may  ask,  what 
lessons  of  instruction  are  there  which  may 
not  be  learned  there,  and  what  moral  virtues 
may  not  there  be  cultivated  ?  Each  family  is 
a  world  in  miniature;  and  all  the  necessary 
trials  of  the  temper  and  of  the  character,  are 
usually  found  within  its  circle. 

Are  we  the  slaves  of  appetite?  Here  is  the 
place  for  learning  the  art  of  self-government. 
Are  we  fretful?  Here  we  may  learn  pa- 
tience: for  a  great  fund  of  patience  is  often 
demanded ;   and  the  more  so   as  we   are    apt, 


LOVE    OF    DOMESTIC    CONCERNS.  173 

here,  to  be  off  our  guard,  and  to  yield  to  our 
unhappy  feelings.  There  are  thousands  who 
succeed  very  well  in  governing  themselves — 
their  temper  and  their  passions — while  the 
eye  of  the  world  is  upon  them,  who,  neverthe- 
less, fail  most  culpably  in  this  respect,  when 
at  home,  secluded,  as  they  seem  to  think  them- 
selves, from  observation.  Hence  the  impor- 
tance of  great  effort  to  keep  ourselves  in  sub- 
jection in  these  circumstances;  and  hence, 
too,  the  value  of  a  well  ordered  and  happy 
home. 

Are  we  over-fond  of  excitement?  Home  is 
a  sufficient  cure  for  this — or  may  be  made  so 
to  those  who  ardently  desire  that  it  should  be. 
Are  we  desirous  of  forming  our  character 
upon  the  model  of  heaven?  We  are  assured, 
from  the  Author  of  Holy  Writ,  that  the  king- 
dom of  heaven  consists  in  that  simplicity, 
confidence,  faith  and  love,  which  distinguish 
the  child. 

In  short — to  repeat  the  sentence — there  is 
no  place  on  earth  so  nearly  resembling  the 
heaven  above,  as  a  well  ordered  and  happy 
family.  If  your  lot  is  cast  in  such  a  family, 
young  reader,  be  thankful  for  the  favor,  and 
strive  to  make  the  most  of  it.  Not  merely  as 
15* 


174  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

a  preparation  for  standing  at  the  head  of  such 
a  family  yourself;  not  merely  as  a  prepara- 
tion for  the  work  of  teaching — although  for 
this  avocation  I  know  of  nothing  better;  not 
merely  because  it  is  your  duty,  and  you  feel 
that  you  must  do  it;  but  because  it  is  for  your 
happiness — yes,  even  for  your  life. 

All  character  is  formed  in  the  school  of 
trial;  all  good  or  valuable  character,  espe- 
cially. And — I  repeat  the  sentiment — in  no 
place  or  department  of  this  school  are  cir- 
cumstances so  favorable  for  such  a  purpose, 
as  what  may,  emphatically,  be  termed  the 
home  department.  The  family  and  the  church 
are  God's  own  institutions.  All  else,  is  more 
or  less  of  human  origin:  not,  therefore,  of  ne- 
cessity, useless — but  more  or  less  imperfect. 
She  who  would  obey  the  will  of  God  in  form- 
ing herself  according  to  the  divine  mode, 
must  learn  to  value  those  institutions,  in  some 
measure,  as  they  are  valued  by  Him,  and 
love  them  with  a  degree  of  the  same  love 
wherewith  He  loves  them. 

It  will  here  be  seen  that  I  value  domestic 
avocations  so  highly — giving  them,  as  I  do, 
the  preference  over  all  other  female  employ- 
ments— not  as  an  end,  but  as  a  means.     It  is 


LOVE    OF    DOMESTIC    CONCERNS.  175 

because  they  secure,  far  better — other  things 
being  alike — the  grand  result  at  which  every 
female  should  perpetually  aim — the  attainment 
of  excellence.  It  is  because  they  educate  us 
far  better,  physically,  socially  and  morally — 
and,  with  proper  pains  and  right  management, 
they  might  do  so  intellectually — than  any  other 
employment,  for  the  great  future,  towards 
which  we  are  every  day  hastening. 

This  home  school  is — after  all  which  has 
been  said  of  schools  and  education — not  only 
the  first  and  best  school,  especially  for  females, 
but  emphatically  the  school.  It  is  the  nursery 
from  which  are  to  be  transplanted,  by  and  by, 
the  plants  which  are  to  fill,  and  beautify,  and 
perfect — if  any  perfection  in  the  matter  is 
attained — all  our  gardens  and  fields,  and 
render  them  the  fields  and  gardens  of  the 
Lord.  Too  much  has  not  been — too  much 
cannot  be — said,  as  it  seems  to  me,  in  favor  of 
this  home  department  of  female  education — 
especially  as  a  means  of  religious  improve- 
ment. 

Young  women  thus  trained,  would  not  only 
be  most  fitly  prepared  for  the  employment 
which,  as  a  general  rule,  they  are  to  fol- 
low for  life,  but  for  every  other  employment 


176  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

to  which  they  can,  in  the  good  providence 
of  God,  ever  be  called.  No  matter  what 
is  to  be  their  situation — no  matter  even  if 
it  is  merely  mechanical,  as  in  some  factory, 
or  as  an  amanuensis — this  apprenticeship  in 
the  family,  is  not  only  highly  useful,  but,  as  it 
seems  to  me,  indispensable.  Is  not  mind, 
and  heart,  and  health,  and  self-government — 
yes,  and  self-knowledge,  too — as  indispen- 
sable to  the  individual  who  is  confined  to  a 
bench  or  desk,  as  to  any  person  who  is  more 
active  ?  Nay,  are  they  not  even  much  more 
so — since  sedentary  employments  have,  in 
themselves,  as  respects  mind,  and  heart,  and 
character,  a  downward,  and  narrowing,  and 
contracting  tendency? 


CHAPTER   XVI. 


FRUGALITY  AND  ECONOMY. 

Economy  becoming  old  fashioned.  The  Creator's  example. 
Frugality  and  economy  should  be  early  inculcated.  Spend- 
ing two  pence  to  save  one,  not  always  wrong.  Examples 
of  disregarding  economy.  Wasting  small  things.  Good 
habits  as  well  as  bad  oncs;  go  by  companies.  This  chap- 
ter particularly  necessary  to  the  young.  Frugality  and 
economy  of  our  grand-mothers. 

Economy  is  another  old  fashioned  word, 
which,  like  the  thing  for  which  it  stands,  is 
fast  going  into  disrepute;  and  in  these  days,  it 
will  require  no  little  moral  courage  in  him 
who  has  any  thing  of  reputation  at  stake,  to 
commend  it. — and  above  all,  to  commend  it 
to  young  women.  What  have  they  to  do, 
thousands  might  be  disposed  to  ask,  were  the 
subject  urged,  with  economy? 

"  Is  there  not  something  connected  with  the 
idea  of  economy,  which  tends  necessarily 
to  narrow  the  mind  and  contract  the  heart?  " 
This  question  is  often  asked,  even   by  those 


178  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

whom  age  and  experience  should  have  taught 
better  things. 

I  am  pained  to  find  the  rising  generation  so 
prone  to  discard  both  frugality  and  economy, 
and  to  regard  them  as  synonymous  with  nar- 
rowness, and  meanness,  and  stinginess.  There 
cannot  possibly  be  a  greater  mistake. 

May  I  not  ask,  without  incurring  the  charge 
of  irreverence,  if  there  is  any  thing  more 
obvious,  in  the  works  of  the  Creator,  than 
his  wonderful  frugality  and  good  economy? 
Where,  in  his  domain,  is  anything  wasted? 
Where,  indeed,  is  not  every  thing  saved  and 
appropriated  to  the  best  possible  purpose? 
And  will  any  one  presume  to  regard  his  opera- 
tions as  narrow,  or  mean,  or  stingy  ? 

What  can  be  more  abundant,  for  example, 
than  air  and  water?  Yet  is  there  one  particle 
too  much  of  either  of  them?  Is  there  one 
particle  more  than  is  just  necessary  to  render 
the  earth  what  it  was  designed  to  be  ?  Such  a 
thing  may  be  said,  I  acknowledge,  by  the  igno- 
rant, and  short-sighted,  and  incautious.  They 
vent  their  occasional  complaints,  even  against 
the  Ruler  of  the  skies,  because  the  windows 
of  heaven  are,  for  a  time,  shut  up,  and  the 
rain  falls  not;   and  yet  these  very  persons  are 


FRUGALITY    AND    ECONOMY.  179 

constrained  to  admit,  in  their  more  sober  mo- 
ments, that  all  is  ordered  about  right. 

Be  this  as  it  may,  however,  there  can  be 
no  doubt  that  a  just  measure  of  frugality  and 
economy  is  a  cardinal  virtue,  and  should  be 
early  inculcated,  even  though  it  cost  us  some 
time  and  effort. 

A  great  deal  has  been  said,  and  no  small 
number  of  words  wasted,  in  endeavoring  to 
show  the  folly  of  spending  two  pence  to  save 
one;  whereas,  to  do  so,  in  some  circum- 
stances, may  be  our  highest  wisdom.  If  it  be 
important  to  learn  the  art  ofwving — the  art  of 
being  frugal — then  the  art  should  be  acquired, 
even  if  it  costs  something  in  the  acquisition. 
No  one  thinks  of  reaping  the  full  reward  of 
adult  labor  in  any  occupation,  the  moment  he 
begins  to  put  his  hand  to  it,  as  a  mere  ap- 
prentice. Does  he  not  thus,  in  learning  his 
occupation  or  trade — especially  during  the 
first  years — spend  two  pence  to  save  one? 
Does  not  all  preparation  for  the  future,  hap- 
pen to  involve  the  same  necessity? 

I  do  not,  certainly,  undertake  to  say  that  it  is 
always  proper — or  indeed  that  it  is  often  so — 
to  spend  more,  in  order  to  save  less.  I  only 
contend  that  it  is  sometimes  so:   and  that  to 


180  THE    YOU.NG    WOMAN 's    GLIDE. 

do  so,  may  not  only  be  a  matter  of  propriety, 
but  also  a  duty. 

Let  me  give  an  example.  Young  women 
are  sometimes  apt  to  acquire  a  habit  of  being 
wasteful  in  regard  to  small  things,  such  as  pins, 
needles,  Sec.  And  yet,  to  teach  them,  in  these 
days  of  refinement,  always  to  pick  up  pins 
when  they  see  them  lying  before  them  on  the 
floor  or  elsewhere,  and  put  them  into  a  pin- 
cushion, or  in  some  suitable  place,  would  no 
doubt  be  considered  as  quite  unreasonable. 

But  would  not  such  a  habit  be  exceedingly 
useful  ?  Am  I  to  be  told  that  it  would  be  a 
great  waste,  since  the  value  of  the  time  con- 
sumed in  thus  picking  up  pins  and  needles, 
would  be  more  than  twice  the  value  of  the 
articles  saved?  Am  I  to  be  told  that  this  is 
not  only  spending  two  pence  to  save  one,  but 
that  it  is  actually  wicked?  If  so,  by  what  art 
shall  a  wasteful  young  woman  be  taught  good 
habits? 

I  would  certainly  urge  a  young  girl  who  was 
careless  about  pins,  needles,  &c,  to  form  the 
habit  of  picking  up  every  one  she  found.  I 
would  do  so,  to  prevent  her  prodigal  habits 
from  extending  to  other  matters,  and  affecting 
and    injuring    her   whole    character.      But    I 


FRUGALITY    AND    ECONOMY.  181 

would  also  do  so,  to  cure  the  bad  habit 
already  existing.  More  than  even  this;  I 
advise  every  young  woman,  who  finds  herself 
addicted  to  habits  which  are  opposed  to  a  just 
frugality  and  economy,  to  begin  the  work  of 
eradicating  them,  without  waiting  for  the 
promptings  of  her  mother  and  friends.  Nor 
let  her,  for  a  moment,  fear  the  imputation  of 
meanness;  it  is  sufficient  for  her  to  feel  that 
she  is  doing  what  she  knows  to  be  right. 

Good  habits,  as  well  as  bad  ones,  like 
virtues  and  vices,  are  apt  to  go  in  company. 
If  one  is.  allowed,  others  are  apt  to  follow. 
First,  those  most  nearly  related;  next,  those 
more  remotely  so;  and  finally,  perhaps,  the 
whole  company. 

I  would  not  dwell  long  on  a  subject  like 
this,  in  a  book  for  young  women,  were  I 
not  assured  that  the  case  requires  it.  I 
sec  young  women  every  where — especially 
among  the  middling  and  higher  classes — and 
in  great  numbers,  too — exceedingly  improvi- 
dent; and  not  a  few,  wasteful.  The  world 
seems  to  be  regarded  as  a  great  storehouse 
which  can  never  be  exhausted,  let  them  be  as 
extravagant  as  they  may.  They  forget,  en- 
tirely, the  vulgar  but  correct  adage,  that 
16 


132  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

"  always  taking  out  of  the  meal  tub  and  never 
putting  in,  soon  comes  to  the  bottom" — and 
seem  to  take  it  for  granted  there  is  no  bottom 
to  their  resources. 

Our  grand-mothers — our  great  grand-mo- 
thers, rather — were  not  ashamed  of  frugality 
nor  economy.  They  were  neither  afraid  nor 
unwilling  to  do  what  they  knew  to  be  right, 
simply  because  it  happened  to  be  unfashion- 
able. I  am  not,  indeed — either  constitution- 
ally or  by  age — one  of  those  who  are  in  the 
habit  of  placing  the  golden  age  exclusively 
in  the.  past.  I  can  see  errors  in  the  conduct 
of  our  grand-mothers.  But  I  also  see  in  them 
excellencies;  many  virtues  of  the  sterner, 
more  sober  sort,  which  have  been  bartered 
for  modern  customs — not  to  say  vices — at  a 
very  great  loss  by  the  exchange.  What  we 
have  thus  lost,  I  should  be  glad,  were  it  pos- 
sible, to  restore. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 


SYSTEM. 


Genera]  neglect  of  system  in  families.  Successful  efforts  of 
a  few  schools.  Why  the  effects  they  produce  are  not  per- 
manent. Importance  of  right  education.  Here  and  there 
system  may  be  found.  Blessedness  of  having  a  mother 
who  is  systematic.  Let  no  person  ever  despair  of  reforma- 
tion.    How  to  begin  the  work. 

There  is  hardly  any  thing  which  the  ma- 
jority of  our  young  women  hate — frugality 
and  economy,  and  the  study  of  themselves, 
perhaps,  excepted — so  much  as  system.  In 
this  respect  a  few  of  our  best  schools  have, 
within  a  few  years,  attempted  something;  and 
I  am  glad  to  be  able  to  say,  with  success. 
I  could  mention  several  schools  for  females, 
where  teachers  have  done  much  more  good 
by  the  habits  of  order  and  system  they  have 
inculcated  and  endeavored  to  form,  than  by 
the  sciences  they  have  taught. 

The  tendency  of  this  excellent  feature  of  a 
few  of  our    institutions    is,   however,    pretty 


184  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

effectually  counteracted  by  the  general  feel- 
ing of  the  public,  that  the  school  is  but  a  place 
of  painful  though  necessary  restraint;  and 
that  when  it  is  over,  study  is  over — and  with 
it,  all  the  system  which  had  been  either  incul- 
cated or  practised.  And  though  not  a  few 
who  have  been  thus  compelled  to  live  by 
system,  for  two  or  three  years,  see  plainly 
its  excellent  effects,  and  both  they  and  their 
parents  acknowledge  them,  still,  the  school  is 
no  sooner  terminated,  than  every  thing  of  the 
kind  is  likely  to  become  as  though  it  had 
never  been. 

I  know  not  but  what  I  am  saying  on  this 
subject  might  as  well  be  said  to  the  north-east 
wind.  So  long  as  home  is  home,  and  all  the 
associations  therewith  are  as  delightful  as  they 
now  are — and  so  long  as  the  greater  number  of 
our  families  live  at  random,  regarding  order  as 
constraint,  and  method  and  system  as  slavery 
— just  so  long  will  the  feelings  of  the  young  of 
each  rising  generation,  revolt  at  every  thing 
like  order  and  system;  and  though  for  the 
sake  of  peace,  and  for  other  and  various  rea- 
sons, they  may  be  willing  to  conform  to  both, 
for  a  time,  yet  will  they  sigh  internally  for 
the  hour  when  their  bondage  shall  cease,  and 


SYSTEM.  185 

the  day  of  their  emancipation  arrive.  It  is 
not  in  human  nature,  to  look  back  to  the 
scenes,  and  customs,  and  methods — if  methods 
they  deserve  to  be  called,  where  all  is  at  ran- 
dom— of  early  life,  without  a  fondness  for,  and 
an  inward  desire  to  return  to  them ;  and  there 
are  few  so  hardened  as  not  to  do  it  whenever 
an  opportunity  occurs.  How  important,  then — 
how  supremely  so — is  a  right  education!  How 
important  to  sow,  in  the  earliest  years,  the 
seeds  of  a  love  of  order  and  system!  How 
important  to  young  women,  especially,  that 
this  work  should  not  be  deferred;  since  if  it  is 
so,  it  is  most  likely  to  be  deferred  forever. 

I  know,  full  well,  that  here  and  there  a 
housekeeper,  convinced  in  her  conscience  that 
she  can  do  vastly  more  for  herself  and  others, 
as  well  as  do  it  better,  by  means  of  system, 
than  without  it,  attempts  something  like  inno- 
vation upon  the  usual  random  course  which 
prevails  about  her.  She  resolves  to  have  her 
hours  of  labor,  her  hours  of  recreation,  and 
her  hours  of  reading  and  visiting.  She  be- 
lieves life  is  long  enough  for  all  the  purposes 
of  life.  She  is  resolved  to  be  systematic  on 
Sabbath  and  on  week  days;  in  the  common 
details  of  the  family;  in  dress;  and  in  re- 
1G* 


186  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

gard  to  the  hours  of  rising,  meals  and  rest. 
But  she  has  a  herculean  task  to  accomplish — 
no  small  part  of  which  is,  to  bring  her  hus- 
band and  the  other  members  of  her  family  to 
co-operate  with  her.  Yet,  amid  every  dis- 
couragement, she  perseveres,  and  at  length 
succeeds.  Is  not  such  a  victory  worth  se- 
curing ? 

Let  the  young  woman  who  has  such  a 
person  as  I  have  just  described,  for  her 
mother,  rejoice  in  it.  She  can  never  be  too 
grateful,  not  only  to  her  mother,  but  to  God. 
Her  life  is  likely  to  be  of  thrice  the  usual 
value.  Our  daughters  who  are  blessed  with 
such  mothers,  may  be  as  polished  corner- 
stones in  a  temple — worthy  of  themselves,  of 
those  who  educate  them,  and  of  God. 

But  let  not  those  who  have  been  less  fortu- 
nate, in  respect  to  maternal  training  and  influ- 
ence, utterly  despair.  Convinced  of  the 
general  correctness  of  the  views  here  ad- 
vanced, and  desirous  of  entering  on  a  work 
of  reform,  let  them  take  courage,  and  begin  it 
immediately.  Though  the  mother,  by  her 
influence  in  the  early  formation  of  character, 
is  almost  omnipotent,  she  is  not  quite  so. 
Though  the  Ethiopian  cannot  change  his  skin, 


SYSTEM.  187 

nor  the  leopard  his  spots,  still  it  is  not  utterly 
impossible  for  those  to  do  well  who  have  been 
long  accustomed  to  do  evil.  "What  has 
been  done,"  you  know  "  canbe  done."  Make 
this  maxim  your  motto,  and  go  forward  in  the 
work  of  self-education.  But  remember  to 
begin,  in  the  first  place,  with  the  smaller 
matters  of  life;  and  to  conquer  in  one  point 
or  place  of  action,  before  you  begin  with 
another.  And,  lastly,  remember  not  to  rely 
wholly  on  your  own  strength.  You  are, 
indeed,  to  work — and  to  work  with  all  your 
might;  but  it  is  always  God  that  worketh  in 
you,  when  any  thing  effectual  is  accom- 
plished i/i  the  way  of  improvement. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 


PUNCTUALITY. 

Evil  of  being  one  minute  too  late.  Examples  to  illustrate 
the  importance  of  punctuality.  Case  of  a  mother  at  Lowell. 
Her  adventure.  General  habits  which  led  to  such  a  dis- 
aster. Condition  of  a  family  trained  to  despise  punctu- 
ality. 

No  system  can  be  carried  on  without  both 
order  and  punctuality.  I  have  already  said 
something,  incidentally,  on  both  of  these  to- 
pics; but  their  importance  entitles  them  to  a 
separae  consideration. 

The  importance  of  strict  punctuality  could 
be  shown  be  appealing  to  hundreds  of  author- 
ities; but  I  prefer  an  appeal  to  the  good  sense 
of  my  readers. 

How  painful  it  is,  in  a  thousand  instances 
of  life,  to  be  but  one  minute  too  late;  and  how 
much  evil  it  may — indeed,  often  does — occa- 
sion, both  to  ourselves  and  others! 

"Think  of  the  difference,"  says  a  spirited 
writer,"  between  arriving  with  a  letter  one 


PUNCTUALITY.  189 

minute  before  the  post-office  is  closed,  and 
arriving  one  minute  after;  between  being  at 
the  stage-office  a  quarter  of  an  hour  too  soon, 
and  reaching  there  a  quarter  of  an  hour  too 
late;  between  shaking  a  friend  heartily  by  the 
hand  as  he  steps  on  board  his  vessel  bound  to 
the  Indies,  and  arriving  at  the  pier  when  the 
vessel  is  under  weigh,  and  stretching  her  wide 
canvass  to  the  winds!  Think  of  this  and  a 
thousand  such  instances,  and  be  determined 
through  life  to  be  in  time." 

Allow  me  to  illustrate  the  important  subject 
of  which  J  am  now  treating,  by  the  case  of 
a  young  mother.  She  wishes  to  go  from 
Boston  to  Lowell.  She  leaves  Boston  in  the 
cars  which  go  at  eleven,  and  reach  Lowell 
soon  after  twelve.  She  goes  to  spend  the 
afternoon  with  a  sick  friend  there,  resolving 
to  return  at  five — the  hour  when  the  last  cars 
leave  Lowell  for  Boston.  Her  infant  is  left 
for  the  time  in  the  hands  of  a  maiden  sister — 
the  husband  being  engaged  in  his  shop,  and 
hardly  knowing  of  her  departure. 

She  spends  the  afternoon  with  her  friend, 
and  her  services  are  very  acceptable.  But  ere 
she  is  aware,  the  bell  at  the  railroad  depot 
rings    for   passengers.     A  few   moments  are 


190  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

spent  in  getting  ready,  and  a  few  more  in 
exchanging  the  parting  salutation  with  these 
friends  who,  though  aware  of  the  danger  of 
her  being  left,  have  not  the  honest  plainness 
to  urge  her  to  make  speed.  She  is,  at  length, 
under  way;  but  on  arriving  at  the  depot, 
lo!  the  cars  have  started,  and  are  twenty  or 
thirty  rods  distant. 

What  can  she  do?  "  Time  and  tide,"  and 
railroad  cars,  "wait  for  none."  It  is  in 
vain  that  she  waves  her  handkerchief;  the 
swift-footed  vehicles  move  on,  and  are  soon 
out  of  sight!  She  returns,  much  distressed, 
to  the  house  of  her  sick  friend,  unfit  to  do  her 
any  further  service — to  say  nothing  of  the 
mischief  she  is  likely  to  do  by  exciting  her 
painful  sympathies. 

But  how  and  when  is  she  to  get  home? 
There  are  no  public  means  of  conveyance 
back  to  the  city  till  to-morrow  morning,  and 
the  expense  of  a  private  conveyance  seems  to 
her  quite  beyond  her  means. 

How  could  I  be  so  late?  she  says  to  her- 
self. How  could  I  run  the  risk  of  being  thus 
left?  Why  was  I  not  in  season?  What  will 
my  husband  think — especially  as  I  came  off 
without  saying  any  thing  to  him  on  the  sub- 


PUNCTUALITY.  191 

ject?  But  this,  though  much  to  distress  her, 
is  not  all,  nor  the  most.  Her  poor  babe! 
what  will  become  of  that?  Friends  endeavor 
to  soothe  her  by  diverting  her  mind — but  to 
no  purpose,  or  nearly  none:  she  is  half  dis- 
tracted, and  can  only  mourn  over  her  folly  in 
being  so  late. 

But  the  weather  is  mild,  and  all  is  propi- 
tious without,  except  that  it  is  likely  to  be 
rather  dark;  and  by  means  of  the  efforts  of 
thoughtful  friends,  a  coach  is  fitted  out  with 
a  careful  driver,  to  carry  her  home  this  very 
evening.  It  will  take  five  hours  in  all;  and 
as  it  is  now  six,  she  will  reach  home  at  about 
eleven.  The  infant  will  not  greatly  suffer 
before  that  time. 

Finding  herself  well  on  the  road,  her  feel- 
ings are  somewhat  composed,  and  she  just 
now  begins  to  think  what  her  husband  will 
do,  when  he  comes  from  the  shop  at  seven, 
and  finds  she  has  not  arrived.  She  is  afraid 
he  will  be  at  the  extra  pains  and  expense  to 
come  after  her;  and  perhaps  in  the  darkness 
pass  by  her,  and  go  on  to  Lowell. 

And  her  fears  are  partly  realized.  After 
much  anxiety  and  some  complaining — which, 
however,  I  will  not  undertake  to  justify — the 


192  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

husband  is  on  the  road  with  a  vehicle,  going  to 
Lowell  to  assist  her  in  getting  home.  They 
meet  about  halfway  from  place  to  place,  and 
the  drivers  recognize  each  other — though 
rather  more  than,  in  the  darkness,  could  have 
been  expected.  The  coach  from  Lowell  re- 
turns, and  that  from  Boston,  taking  in  both  pas- 
sengers, wheels  them  back  in  haste  to  their 
home.  In  their  joy  to  find  matters  no  worse, 
they  forget  to  recriminate  each  other,  and 
think  only  of  the  timid  sister  with  whom  the 
infant  was  left  in  charge:  for  in  the  hurry 
of  getting  off,  the  husband  had  made  no  pro- 
vision for  quieting  her  fears  of  being  alone. 
She  passes  the  time,  however,  in  much  less 
mental  agitation  than  might  have  been  ex- 
pected, and  takes  as  good  care  as  she  can,  of 
a  fretful,  crying,  half-starved  babe.  As  the 
clock  strikes  one,  the  family  are  ail  quiet  in 
bed,  and  endeavoring  to  sleep. 

How  much  uneasiness  is  here  caused  by 
being  just  about  one  minute  (and  no  more) 
too  late!  And  whence  came  it?  Not  by 
her  not  knowing  she  was  running  a  risk  by 
being  tardy.  Not  by  her  not  having  many  ap- 
prehensions of  evil.  Not  because  her  con- 
science was  uneducated,  or  unfaithful.     It  was 


PUNCTUALITY.  193 

neither,  nor  any  of  these.  There  was,  in  the 
first  place,  a  little  want  of  decision.  She 
suffered  herself  to  vacillate  between  a  sense 
of  duty  and  the  inclination  to  say  a  few  words 
more,  or  bestow  another  parting  kiss.  And 
in  the  second  place,  it  was  the  wretched  habit 
she  had  always  indulged,  of  delaying  and  de- 
ferring every  thing  she  put  her  head  or  her 
hand  to,  till  the  very  last  moment. 

I  will  give  you  a  brief  but  correct  account 
of  her  general  habits.  Not  that  the  picture  is 
a  very  uncommon  one,  but  that  you  may  view 
it  in  connection  with  the  anecdote  I  have 
related,  and  thus  get  a  tolerable  idea  of  the 
inconveniences  to  which  this  wretched  habit 
is  continually  exposing  her. 

She  makes  it  a  rule — no,  I  will  not  say  that, 
for  she  lias  no  rules;  she  has  a  sort  of  expec- 
tation, that  she  will  rise  at  five  o'clock.  Yet 
I  do  not  suppose  she  is  up  at  five,  six  times  in 
the  year.  She  is  never  awake  at  that  time,  or 
but  seldom,  unless  she  is  awakened.  Her  hus- 
bandj  indeed,  makes  it  a  sort  of  rule  to  wake 
her  at  that  hour;  but  he,  alas,  poor  man!  has 
no  rules  for  himself  or  others;  and  if  he"  un- 
dertakes to  awaken  her  at  five,  it  is  usually 
some  six,  eight  or  twelve  minutes  afterward; 
17 


194  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN  S    GUIDE. 

and  if  she  is  let  alone,  she  is  often  in  bed  till 
half  past  five — oftener,  indeed,  than  up  earlier. 
The  breakfast  hour  is  six;  but  I  never  knew 
the  family  to  sit  down  at  six.  It  is  ten  minutes, 
fifteen  minutes,  thirty  minutes,  and  sometimes 
forty-five  minutes  after  six,  before  the  breakfast 
is  on  the  table.  The  fire  will  not  burn,  and 
the  tea  is  not  ready;  or  the  milk  or  cream  for 
the  latter  has  not  arrived;  or  something  or 
other  is  the  matter,  so  she  says,  and  so  she 
believes — and  indeed  sometimes  so  it  is. 

The  dinner  time  is  half  past  twelve — that 
is,  professedly  so;  but  it  is  not  once  in  twenty 
times  that  they  sit  down  much  before  one 
o'clock — and  I  have  known  it  to  be  much  later. 
So  it  is  with  supper;  and  I  might  add,  with 
every  thing  else.  If  an  engagement  is  made, 
directly  or  indirectly,  positively  or  only  im- 
plied, it  is  never  fulfilled  at  the  time.  She  is 
never  in  her  seat  at  church,  till  almost  every 
body  else  rs  in,  and  the  services  have  com- 
menced; although  the  kind,  but  too  indulgent 
parson  waits  some  five  or  ten  minutes  for  his 
whole  congregation — whom,  alas!  he  has  un- 
wittingly trained  to  delay.  In  short,  she  does 
nothing,  and  performs  nothing,  punctually: 
no,  not  even  going  to  bed;  for  this  is  deferred 


PUNCTUALITY.  195 

to  a  very  late  hour — sometimes  till  near  mid- 
night. 

Now  herein  is  the  secret — the  foundation, 
rather — of  her  trouhle  at  Lowell.  Had  she 
been  trained  to  punctuality  in  other  things, 
she  would,  in  all  probability,  have  been  punc- 
tual there.  The  misfortune  which  I  have 
described,  is  but  a  specimen  of  what  is  ever 
and  anon  occurring  in  the  history  of  her  life. 

Nor  are  her  sufferings — though  they  are 
severe — from  her  unhappy  habit,  the  end  of  the 
matter.  I  have  already  more  than  intimated 
that  her -companion  has  caught  the  disease; 
but  it  is  still  more  visible  in  the  conduct  of  her 
sons  and  daughters.  They,  like  herself,  sel- 
dom do  any  thing  at  the  proper  time.  They 
are  never  punctual  in  their  engagements,  nor 
decided  in  their  conduct.  I  know  not,  how- 
ever, what  the  daughters  may  yet  do — several 
of  them  being  quite  young.  If  they  should 
chance  to  meet  with  better  instructions  than 
they  are  accustomed  to  receive — should  take 
warning,  and  do  all  they  can  in  the  way  of 
self-improvement — they  may  be  able  to  break 
the  chains  of  an  inveterate  and  almost  uncon- 
querable habit,  and  make  themselves  useful 
in  their  day  and  generation. 


196  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

I  do  think,  most  sincerely,  that  if  all  the 
rest  of  the  world  were  disorderly,  or  fell  short 
in  matters  of  punctuality,  the  young  woman 
should  not  do  so.  Let  her,  in  every  duty, 
learn  to  be  in  time.  Let  her  resolve  to  do 
every  thing  a  little  before  the  time  arrives; 
nothing,  a  moment  after  it. 

The  keeper  of  a  boarding-house,  who  is  at 
the  same  time  the  principal  of  one  of  our  most 
flourishing  schools  for  both  males  and  females, 
makes  it  a  point  to  have  every  one  of  his 
boarders  in  their  seats  at  dinner,  when  the 
clock  strikes  twelve,  which  is  the  appointed 
hour. 

And  the  late  principal  of  a  very  highly  dis- 
tinguished female  school  in  Boston,  used  to 
have  every  exercise  regulated  by  a  clock  kept 
in  the  room;  and  whatever  else  was  going  on, 
and  whether  it  was  finished  or  unfinished, 
when  the  hour  for  another  exercise  arrived, 
it  was  attended  to.  The  whole  school,  as  if 
with  one  impulse,  seemed  to  obey  the  hour, 
rather  than  the  teacher.  Such  order  and 
punctuality,  every  where  and  in  every  thing, 
constitute  the  beauty  of  life;  and  I  was  going 
to  say,  the  beauty  of  heaven — of  which  this 
life  should  be  a  sort  of  prototype.     Heaven,  in 


PUNCTUALITY.  197 

any  event,  is  not  only  a  world  of  order,  but  of 
punctuality  also;  and  she  who  goes  there, 
must  be  prepared  to  observe  both,  or  it  will 
be  no  heaven  to  her. 

As  I  have  strongly  insisted,  in  respect  to 
the  formation  of  other  important  habits,  so 
in  regard  to  this.  It  must  be  commenced  in 
the  smaller  matters  of  life.  Let  the  young 
woman  be  in  time — that  is,  be  punctual — in 
the  performance  of  what  she  regards  as  trifles, 
and  when  she  becomes  a  matron,  she  will 
hardly  be  tardy  in  what  are  deemed  the  weigh- 
tier matters. 

I  have  spoken  of  the  importance  of  punctu- 
ality, and  have  strongly  insisted  that  what  is 
worth  doing  at  all,  is  worth  doing  well.  I 
am  now  about  to  insist,  with  equal  earnest- 
ness, that  what  is  worth  beginning  and  per- 
forming well,  is  worth  doing  thoroughly,  or 
finishing. 

Some  young  women  never  do  any  thing 
thoroughly — even  the  smallest  matters.  All 
their  lives  long,  they  live,  as  it  were,  by 
halves,  and  do  things  by  halves.  If  they 
commence  reading  a  book,  unless  it  is  some- 
thing very  enticing  and  exciting,  they  neither 
read  it  thoroughly  nor  finish  it.     Their  dress 


198  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

is  never  put  on  thoroughly;  and  even  their 
meals  are  not  thoroughly  eaten. 

In  regard  to  what  is  last  mentioned,  they 
fail  in  two  respects.  Either  through  fear 
that  they  shall  be  unfashionable,  if  they  use 
their  teeth,  or  from  sheer  carelessness  in 
their  habits,  they  never  masticate  their  food 
thoroughly  ;  and  they  never  seem  to  get 
through  eating.  The  true  way  is,  to  finish  a 
meal  in  a  reasonable  time,  and  then  let  the 
matter  rest — and  never  be  found  eating  be- 
tween meals.  Whereas,  the  class  of  persons 
of  whom  I  am  speaking,  seem  never  to  begin 
or  end  a  meal.  They  are  nibbling,  if  food 
chance  to  fall  in  their  way,  all  their  lives 
long. 

But — to  return  to  other  habits  than  those 
which  pertain  to  eating  and  drinking — this 
want  of  thoroughness,  of  which  I  am  speak- 
ing, wherever  it  exists  in  a  young  woman, 
will  show  itself  in  all  or  nearly  all  she 
does. 

Suppose  she  is  washing  dishes,  for  example: 
something  is  left  unwashed  which  ought  to 
have  been  washed;  something  is  left  only 
partly  washed;  or  the  whole  being  done  in  a 
hurry,  something  is  not  set  away  in  its  place — 


PUNCTUALITY.  199 

and  along  comes  a  child  and  knocks  it  over 
and  breaks  it. 

Perhaps  she  is  sewing.  She  is  anxious  to 
get  her  work  along;  and  though  she  knows 
how  it  ought  to  be  done,  she  ventures  to 
slight  it — especially  if  it  is  the  property  of 
another.  Or  having  done  it  well  till  she 
comes  near  the  end,  the  place  where,  perhaps, 
every  thing  ought  to  be  particularly  firm  and 
secure — ought  to  be  done  thoroughly — she 
leaves  a  portion  of  it  half  done ;  and  the  gar- 
ment gives  way  before  it  is  half  worn. 

Or  she-  is  cooking;  and  though  every  thing 
else  is  well  boiled,  a  single  article  is  not  well 
done — which  gives  an  appearance  of  negli- 
gence to  the  whole.  At  any  rate,  it  is  not 
done  well;  and  she  gets  the  credit  of  not 
being  a  thorough  house-keeper. 

"  For  who  hath  despised  the  day  of  small 
things?"  is  a  scriptural  inquiry  on  a  most 
important  subject;  and  were  it  not  likely  to 
be  construed  into  a  want  of  reverence  for 
sacred  things,  the  same  inquiry  might  be  made 
in  regard  to  the  matter  before  us.  There  is 
an  universal  disposition  abroad  to  despise 
small  matters,  and  to  stigmatize  him  who 
defends  their  importance. 


200  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

One  might  suppose  a  young  woman  would 
find  out  the  mischiefs  that  result  from  a  want 
of  thoroughness,  by  the  inconvenience  which 
inevitably  results  from  it.  It  is  not  very 
convenient  or  comfortable,  to  be  obliged  to  do 
a  thing  wholly  over  again;  or  suffer  from 
want,  because  a  piece  of  work,  very  trifling 
in  itself,  was  not  done  thoroughly.  Nor  is  it 
very  convenient  to  go  and  wash  one's  hands 
every  time  a  lamp  is  used,  because  it  was  not 
thoroughly  cleaned  or  duly  put  in  order,  when 
it  should  have  been.  Nor  is  it  easy  to  clean 
an  elegant  carpet  which  has  become  soiled — 
or  replace  a  valuable  astral  lamp,  or  mirror, 
which  has  been  broken — simply  for  the  want 
of  a  little  thorough  attention  in  those  who  have 
the  care  of  these  things.  These  little  incon- 
veniences, constantly  recurring,  might  rouse 
a  person  to  reflection,  one  would  think,  as 
effectually  as  occasional  larger  ones.  We  do 
not,  however,  always  find  it  so. 

Young  people  ought  to  consider  what  a 
host  of  evils  sometimes  results  from  a  slight 
neglect.  The  trite  saying — "  For  want  of  a 
nail,  the  shoe  was  lost;  for  want  of  a  shoe, 
the  horse  was  lost;  and  for  want  of  a  horse, 
the  rider  was  lost" — will,  however,  illustrate 


PUNCTUALITY.  201 

this  part  of  my  subject.  Had  the  single  nail 
which  was  omitted — the  last  one — been  driven, 
and  driven  properly — had  the  work,  in  short, 
been  done  thoroughly — the  shoe,  horse  and 
rider,  might  all  have  been  preserved. 

Do  not  dread  the  imputation  of  being  over 
nice  or  whimsical,  if  you  do  your  work 
thoroughly.  You  must  learn  to  regard  your 
own  sense  of  right — of  duty — as  a  thing  of  far 
more  importance  than  either  the  sneers  or  ap- 
probation of  thousands  of  the  unthinking.  I 
have  heard  an  individual  of  great  worth  and 
respectability  complain  of  a  young  friend  of 
his,  because  he  finished  every  thing  he  under- 
took; that  is,  was  resolved  to  do  it,  according 
to  his  knowledge,  thoroughly;  and  he  charged 
him  with  having  what  he  called  a  mania  for 
finishing.  I  remember  having  known  a  very 
worthy,  and,  in  the  main,  a  very  excellent 
farmer,  who  used  to  complain  of  a  very  con- 
scientious son  of  his,  because,  forsooth,  he 
was  determined  to  finish  every  thing  he 
began  in  the  best  possible  manner,  without 
paying  much  regard  to  the  opinions  of  others. 
But  these  facts  only  show  that  wise  and  good 
men  may  not  fully  understand  the  nature  and 
power  of  habit — nor  the  necessity  of  being 


202  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

thorough  in  small  as  well  as  larger  matters. 
The  first  individual  I  have  named,  was  for- 
ever suffering  from  his  own  want  of  thorough- 
ness— and  was  miserable  through  life;  and 
the  last  would  have  been  far  happier  all  his 
life  time,  had  he  been  as  much  disposed  to 
finish  the  things  he  undertook,  as  his  son. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 


EXERCISE. 

The  muscles,  or  moving  power  of  the  body.  Their  number 
and  character.  Philosophy  and  necessity  of  exercise. 
Why  young  women  should  study  these.  Various  kinds  of 
exercise.  1.  Walking.  2.  Gardening  and  agriculture. 
3.  House-keeping.  4.  Riding.  5.  Local  exercises.  Diffi- 
culty of  drawing  the  public  attention  to  this  subject.  The 
slavery  of  fashion.  Consequences  of  the  fashionable  neg- 
lect of  exercise.     A  common  but  shocking  sight. 

This  is  a  highly  important  subject;  and  it 
is  connected  with  an  unusual  variety  of  topics. 
I  beg  the  reader  to  exercise  a  little  patience, 
therefore,  if,  on  this  account,  I  extend  it  to 
an  unusual  length. 

It  should  not  be  forgotten,  that  the  human 
body  is  moved  from  place  to  place,  at  the 
direction  of  the  will,  through  the  intervention 
of  what  are  called  muscles — of  which  there  are 
in  the  whole  frame,  and  attached  to  it,  from 
four  hundred  to  five  hundred. 

They  are  long  bundles  or  portions  of  lean 
flesh,  usually  a  little  flattened  and  somewhat 


204  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

rounded  at  their  edges,  and  terminating  at 
one  end — often  at  both — in  a  harder,  flatter, 
white  substance,  called  tendon,  which  is  fast- 
ened to  the  bone. 

But  I  need  not — and  indeed  I  cannot — in  a 
work  like  this,  enter  upon  a  minute  account 
of  the  human  frame,  or  of  any  considerable 
portion  of  it;  especially  so  considerable  a  por- 
tion of  it  as  the  bony  and  muscular  systems. 
For  such  information,  I  must  refer  the  reader 
to  the  work  alluded  to  in  a  previous  chapter — 
"  The  House  I  Live  In  " — and,  if  her  leisure 
time  will  justify  it,  to  still  more  extended 
works  on  anatomy  and  physiology,  which  can 
be  easily  obtained. 

Of  the  philosophy,  and  even  the  necessity, 
of  exercise,  however,  I  need  only  say,  in  the 
present  place — in  addition  to  what  has  been 
said  already — that  much  of  human  health  and 
happiness  depends  on  the  proper  development, 
and  cultivation,  and  daily  exercise  of  the 
whole  muscular  system;  and  that  the  health, 
and  happiness,  and  usefulness  of  young  wo- 
men, are  not  less  dependent  on  the  right  con- 
dition of  the  physical  frame — the  bones  and 
muscles  among  the  rest — than  they  are  with 
other  classes  of  persons.  I  might  even  say,  that 


EXERCISE.  205 

of  all  classes  of  people  in  the  world — parents 
and  teachers  alone  excepted — young  women 
are  most  imperiously  called  upon  to  attend 
to  this  subject. 

It  will  now  be  my  object  to  speak  of  the 
various  kinds  of  exercise  for  young  women ; 
and  to  treat  of  them  in  what  I  conceive  to 
be  the  order  of  their  value. 

1.  Walking. — If  I  were  residing  in  Great 
Britain,  and  writing  for  the  perusal  of  young 
women  there,  I  suppose  it  would  hardly  be 
necessary  to  urge,  very  strongly,  the  impor- 
tance of  walking,  as  an  exercise;  for  we  are 
told  by  accredited  travellers,  that  not  only 
females  of  the  middle  and  lower  classes,  but 
those  of  rank,  also,  are  accustomed  to  this 
form  of  exercise,  to  an  extent  calculated  to 
surprise  the  young  women  of  this  country. 
Neither  do  they  go  out  attired  in  such  a  man- 
ner that  a  single  drop  of  water  would  annoy 
them,  or  spoil  their  happiness;  but  they  go 
prepared  for  the  task.  They  have — as  I  un- 
derstand— their  coarser  clothes,  and  shoes, 
and  head-dresses,  for  the  purpose. 

But  here,  in  the  United  States — among  the 
female  sex,  especially — walking,  like  house- 
18 


206  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

keeping  and  agriculture,  has  been,  of  late 
years,  considered  drudgery — fit  for  none  but 
the  poor,  or  the  mean,  or  the  eccentric.  And 
when  performed,  it  is  seldom  done  in  the  love 
of  it. 

Now  it  is  well  known  to  those  who  have 
studied  the  subject  of  exercise,  that  though 
walking  is  of  inestimable  importance — second, 
in  all  probability,  to  no  other  form  of  mere  ex- 
ercise— it  is,  nevertheless,  of  far  the  most 
value,  when  it  is  undertaken  and  pursued  with 
pleasure.  While,  therefore,  I  recommend  it 
to  young  women,  I  do  it  in  the  hope  that  they 
will  not  regard  it  as  task-work — as  mere 
drudgery.  I  hope  they  will  regard  it  as  a 
source  of  pleasure  and  happiness. 

To  render  it  such,  something  more  is 
required  than  merely  to  walk,  in  a  solitary 
manner,  to  a  certain  stone,  or  tree,  or  cor- 
ner, or  house — the  mind,  all  the  while,  unoc- 
cupied by  any  thing  agreeable  or  useful — and 
then  to  return  as  listless  as  they  came.  Such 
exercise,  it  is  true,  will  move  the  limbs,  and 
do  much  to  keep  the  bones  and  muscles  in  a 
healthy  state;  and  by  the  gentle  agitation 
which  is  induced,  will  promote  the  circulation 
of  all  the  fluids,  and  the  due  performance  of  all 


EXERCISE.  207 

the  functions  of  the  body — except  the  function 
which  belongs  to  the  brain  and  nervous  sys- 
tem. It  will  do  all  this,  I  say;  but  it  will  not 
do  it  sp  well,  if  the  exercise  is  performed  as  a 
piece  of  task-work,  as  it  would  if  it  were  done 
cheerfully  and  voluntarily. 

I  counsel  the  young  woman,  therefore,  who 
wishes  to  derive  the  utmost  possible  benefit 
from  walking,  to  contrive  to  make  the  exer- 
cise as  agreeable  as  possible.  To  this  end, 
she  should  endeavor  to  have  before  her — I 
mean  before  her  mind — an  agreeable  object; 
or  at  least  she  should  be  accompanied  by  an 
agreeable  companion.  Both  are  desirable; 
but  one  of  the  two  is  indispensable. 

As  to  the  kind  of  object  which  should  be 
held  in  view,  I  cannot,  of  course,  say  much; 
nor  need  I — for  it  makes  but  little  difference, 
as  to  the  physical  benefit  to  be  derived  from 
it.  In  regard  to  the  moral  and  intellectual 
advantages,  however,  which  are  to  be  derived 
from  it — to  herself  and  to  others — it  makes  a 
very  great  difference  indeed.  She  who  goes 
in  company  with  one  or  two,  or  a  small  num- 
ber of  companions,  on  some  benevolent  er- 
rand— some  work  of  mercy  to  the  ignorant, 
the  sick,  or  the   distressed — at  once  secures 


208  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

all  the  physical,  the  intellectual,  and  the  moral 
advantages  to  be  derived  by  herself,  and  con- 
fers inestimable  blessings  on  others. 

Let  it  not  be  said  that  it  is  not  the  duty  of 
young  women  to  go  on  such  errands  of  mercy. 
I  know  of  no  neighborhood,  containing  the 
small  number  of  twenty  families,  in  which 
there  are  not  individuals  who  need  to  be  fed, 
clothed,  enlightened,  encouraged,  warmed  or 
elevated.  The  more  elevated  their  present 
condition,  as  a  general  rule,  the  more  can  be 
done  to  raise  them  still  higher.  The  destruc- 
tion of  the  poor,  is  their  poverty;  and  in  like 
manner,  the  destruction  of  the  ignorant,  is 
their  ignorance.  People  must  know  some- 
thing, in  order  to  know  more;  and  in  like 
manner,  must  they  possess  something,  in  order 
to  value  our  charities,  and  make  a  wise  use 
of  them. 

If  it  should  be  urged,  that  in  speaking  of 
the  advantages  of  walking,  I  have  hitherto  ad- 
dressed myself  to  a  small  class  of  the  commu- 
nity, only — that  those  who  are  compelled  to 
labor,  have  not  the  time  necessary  for  walks 
of  love,  instruction  or  charity — I  reply,  that 
this  does  not  lessen  the  importance  of  what 
has  been  said  to  those  individuals  to  whom  it  is 


EXERCISE.  209 

applicable.  Walking  is  nature's  own  exercise; 
and  will  always  be  her  best,  when  it  can  be 
performed.  Nor  would  many  in  New  England 
think  themselves  so  poor  as  to  be  unable  to 
afford  it,  were  they  aware  of  a  tenth  part  of  its 
general  importance,  and  did  they  but  know 
how  to  live  orderly  and  systematically.  Two 
hours  of  active  walking  a  day,  are  worth  a 
great  deal;  and  no  one  who  can  walk  briskly 
and  cheerfully,  and  without  very  great  fa- 
tigue, three  hours,  need  to  complain  of  want  of 
exercise.  I  must  omit,  of  course,  in  a  work 
like  this,  intended  for  young  women,  the  men- 
tion of  any  motion  more  rapid  than  walking. 
Running,  to  those  who  have  passed  into  their 
teens,  would  be  unfashionable;  and  who  could 
endure  the  charge  of  disregarding  the  fash- 
ions? Who  could  risk  the  danger  of  being 
regarded  as  a  romp  ? 

J.  Gardening  and  Agriculture. — Here  again 
1  shall  be  treading  on  dangerous  ground,  as 
I  am  fully  aware.  As  in  the  former  case, 
however,  so  in  the  present — I  shall  not  be 
wholly  alone.  There  are  those  who  have 
dared  to  jeopardize  their  reputation  by  insist- 
ing on  light  agricultural  and  horticultural 
18* 


10 


employments  for  females,  young  and  old,  who 
cannot,  or  who  suppose  they  cannot  find 
time  for  walking;  and  to  the  list  of  this  sort 
of  unfashionables  my  name,  I  suppose,  must 
be  added.  To  those  who  do  not  and  cannot 
enjoy  the  benefit  of  active  and  pleasurable 
wralking  abroad,  these  employments  are  un- 
questionably the  best  substitutes.  When 
these  are  wholly  depended  upon  for  exercise, 
however,  they  should  be  pursued  at  least  from 
two  to  four  hours  in  a  day ;  and  the  constitu- 
tions of  some  will  require  much  more  than 
even  four  hours. 

Let  not  the  hardy,  healthy  young  woman 
alone,  be  employed  in  this  manner.  It  is 
useful  and  necessary,  indeed,  to  her;  but  it  is 
still  more  so  to  her  in  whom,  to  a  light  skin 
with  light  eyes  and  hair,  are  joined  a  slender 
frame,  a  narrow  chest,  and  an  unnatural  and 
sickly  delicacy.  Whether  this  delicacy  is 
the  result  of  staying  in  the  house,  almost  en- 
tirely secluded  from  light,  air,  and  the  ex- 
tremes of  heat  and  cold,  or  is  inherited,  makes 
very  little  difference.  She  who  has  it,  needs 
a  great  deal  of  this  or  some  other  kind  of 
exercise. 


EXERCISE.  211 

3.  Housekeeping. — Next  to  walking,  and  ag- 
ricultural and  horticultural  exercise,  house- 
keeping— or,  as  it  is  familiarly  called,  house- 
work— is  probably  the  most  healthy,  and  ought 
to  be  the  most  agreeable.  And  yet  the  bare 
statement  of  the  fact,  will  be  enough  to  induce 
many  a  fair  reader,  as  I  doubt  not,  to  turn 
aside  with  pain  and  disgust. 

The  reasons  why  this  employment  is  so 
healthy,  are  many  and  various.  One  is  found 
in  the  fact,  that  it  requires  such  a  variety  of 
exercise.  Like  farming  and  gardening,  it 
calls  into  action  in  the  course  of  a  day,  and 
especially  in  the  course  of  a  week,  nearly 
every  considerable  muscle  of  the  body. 

All  these  exercises  seem,  at  first  view,  to 
have  some  advantages  over  walking.  It 
should  be  remembered,  however,  that  nearly 
every  muscle,  and  tendon,  and  bone  in  the 
whole  human  frame,  is  agitated,  if  it  is  not 
employed,  in  walking;  and  if  the  limbs  are 
employed  much  the  most,  still  the  continued 
action  of  the  whole  body,  though  gentle,  is  in 
a  few  hours  quite  sufficient  for  all  the  pur- 
poses of  health. 

Every  young  woman  should  be  determined 
to  attend  to,   and   understand,  every  kind   of 


212  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

house-work.  If  a  few  kinds — as  washing,  for 
example — seem  to  be  beyond  her  strength, 
she  should  only  attend  to  them  in  part,  accord- 
ing as  she  is  able.  It  is  pitiable  to  see  a 
young  woman  of  twenty,  twenty -five  or  thirty, 
who  cannot  make  bread,  or  iron  a  shirt,  or 
boil  a  pudding — ay,  and  who  cannot  make 
and  mend  clothes,  if  necessary — simply  be- 
cause she  has  never  been  required  to  do  it. 
Still  more  pitiable  is  it,  as  I  have  already 
said,  to  find  those  who  have  never  done  it, 
because  they  thought  it  would  be  demeaning 
themselves — or  because  they  have  acted  upon 
the  principle  of  doing  nothing  for  themselves 
or  others,  as  long  as  they  can  help  it. 

It  is  scarcely  possible  that  a  young  woman 
twenty  years  of  age,  has  not  had  ample  op- 
portunities for  learning  to  do  all  kinds  of 
house-work,  provided  it  has  been  her  fixed 
resolution  to  improve  them;  and  I  am  fully  as- 
sured that  house-keeping,  actively  and  cheer- 
fully pursued,  in  all  its  parts,  is  sufficient  to 
secure  a  tolerable  measure  of  health  to  every 
individual.  And  yet  I  am  equally  confident, 
that  if  walking,  or  out-of-door  labor,  were 
superadded  to  this,  in  the  way  I  have  pro- 
posed  and   recommended,  she   would  derive 


EXEKCISE.  213 

from  it  many  important  advantages,  besides 
being  still  healthier.  Indeed,  no  person,  in  any 
employment  whatever,  is  so  healthy  as  to  ex- 
clude all  possibility  of  further  improvement. 
It  is  not  yet  known  how  healthy  an  individual 
might  become. 

4.  Riding. — Horseback  exercise,  for  those 
who  cannot  enjoy  any  of  the  three  modes  of 
which  I  have  spoken,  is  excellent.  It  is  par- 
ticularly valuable  where  there  is  a  tendency 
to  lung  complaints,  whether  induced  by  wear- 
ing too  tight  a  dress,  or  in  any  other  manner. 
It  should  not  be  forgotten,  however,  that  if  the 
chest  is  very  greatly  diseased,  this  exercise 
may  be  one  of  the  worst  which  could  be 
taken. 

As  to  riding  in  a  carriage,  unless  it  is  an 
open  carriage,  I  must  honestly  say  I  do  not 
like  it,  as  an  exercise  for  those  who  can  secure 
that  which  is  better.  Indeed,  except  for  a 
medicinal  purpose,  I  always  prefer  one  of  the 
three  kinds  named  above.  And  as  for  medi- 
cine, I  would  have  young  women  so  live,  and 
especially  so  exercise,  as  to  have  no  occasion 
for  it.  But  on  this  subject,  I  intend  to  say 
something  in  another  place. 


214  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

I  do  not  believe  life  is  long  enough,  in 
general,  to  allow  us  to  indulge,  to  any  great 
extent,  either  in  what  are  commonly  rec  arded 
as  passive  exercises,  or  in  amusements,  as 
such:  I  speak  now  of  those  who  are  above 
twelve  years  of  age.  Not  that  those  who  are 
over  twelve,  do  not  need  amusement.  I  would 
have  every  thing  amusing — or  at  least  inter- 
esting. I  mean  simply  to  say,  that  walking, 
and  running,  and  gardening,  and  farming,  and 
house-keeping,  usually  involve  enough  of 
physical  exercise  for  health;  and  that  where 
these  are  duly  attended  to — or  even  any  one 
of  them — what  are  commonly  called  amuse- 
ments will  hardly  be  needed.  In  earlier 
life,  they  unquestionably  may  be.  But  I  do 
not  think  well  of  passive  exercises  for  any 
person,  so  long  as  they  can  be  avoided.  And 
heterodox  as  the  advice  may  be  regarded,  I 
cannot  help  counselling  the  young,  above 
all,  never  to  ride  in  an  easy  carriage,  or  a 
railroad,  or  in  a  steamboat  or  other  vessel  or 
ship,  as  long  as  they  can  pursue  the  lawful 
purposes  of  life,  in  a  lawful  and  proper  man- 
ner, by  means  of  walking.  It  is  soon  enough 
to  ride  when  we  cannot  walk. 


EXERCISE.  215 

Those  who  are  desirous  to  glorify  God  in 
whatsoever  they  do,  as  Paul  expresses  it,  will 
understand  and  feel  the  force  of  what  I  am 
now  going  to  say;  while  those  who  make  it 
their  business,  in  this  world,  to  seek  happi- 
ness without  being  careful  to  do  it  through 
the  medium  of  personal  excellence  or  holiness, 
will  perhaps  only  smile  at  what  they  suppose 
is  a  mere  eccentricity  of  opinion. 

5.  Local  Exercise. — I  have  intimated  that 
the  bones  and  muscles,  the  brain  and  nerves, 
the  stomach  and  intestines,  the  liver,  the 
chyle  apparatus,  the  lungs,  and  the  skin,  are 
all  more  or  less  exercised  and  benefited,  by 
walking,  running,  gardening,  house-keeping, 
or  riding  on  horseback.  Still,  other  exer- 
cises will  be  necessary,  in  addition  to  all  these. 
But  much  that  I  wish  to  say  on  these  points, 
will  be  found  in  subsequent  chapters.  It  is 
only  necessary  for  me  to  observe,  in  this 
place,  that  all  the  organs  of  the  body,  internal 
or  external,  together  with  all  the  senses,  re- 
quire— nay,  demand — their  appropriate,  or, 
;i-  I  might  say,  their  particular  exercise;  and 
this,  not  only  daily,  but  some  of  them  much 
oftener. 


216  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

The  brain  and  nervous  system,  require 
observation  and  reflection;  and  even,  in  my 
view,  considerable  hard  study.  This  is  their 
appropriate  and  necessary  exercise.  There 
are,  indeed,  those  who  exercise  their  brains 
too  much;  but  for  one  who  suffers  from  think- 
ing too  much,  a  dozen  suffer  from  thinking  too 
little. 

The  stomach  and  intestines  require  such 
food  as  will  call  them  into  proper  action. 
That  which  is  highly  difficult  of  digestion  may 
cause  them  to  overact;  and  this,  to  those 
whose  vital  powers  are  feeble,  would  be  inju- 
rious. On  the  other  hand,  that  which  is  too 
easy  of  digestion,  will  not  afford  the  stom- 
ach exercise  enough;  and  hence,  in  time,  if 
its  use  is  long  continued,  will  be  equally 
injurious.  But  once  more.  Concentrated 
substances — substances,  I  mean,  consisting  of 
pure  nutriment,  or  that  which  is  nearly  so — 
such  as  oil,  sugar,  gum,  &c. — do  not  afford  the 
right  kind  of  exercise  to  the  stomach,'  for  it  is 
the  appropriate  work  of  this  organ,  and  of  the 
other  internal  organs — and  not  of  machinery 
of  human  invention — to  separate  the  nutritious 
part  from  that  which  is  innutritious;  and, 
therefore,  that  food  affords  the   best  sort  of 


EXERCISE.  217 

labor  to  the  stomach  which  contains,  along 
with  a  full  supply  of  nutriment,  a  good  deal 
of  innutritious  substance. 

The  exercise  of  the  lungs,  consists  not  only 
in  their  full  and  free  expansion  in  breathing, 
but  in  speaking,  singing,  Sec. — and  even  in 
laughing.  Physiologists  also  consider  sneez- 
ing, coughing  and  crying — especially  the  lat- 
ter— as  having  their  advantages,  in  early  in- 
fancy, and  perhaps,  in  some  circumstances, 
even  afterward. 

In  like  manner  do  the  eye  and  the  ear,  the 
tongue  and  the  teeth,  the  hands  and  the  face — 
and  indeed  every  part  of  the  system — require 
their  appropriate  exercise.  This  is  not  true  of 
the  merest  infancy  and  childhood  alone — but 
also,  for  the  most  part,  of  youth  and  manhood. 
Conversation,  to  a  certain  extent,  is,  for  aught 
I  know,  as  necessary  to  the  health  of  the  vocal 
organs,  as  to  that  of  the  lungs.  Nor  are  the 
benefits  of  mastication  confined  wholly  to  the 
process  of  digestion.  It  is  fully  believed  by 
distinguished  physiologists,  that  the  teeth 
themselves  will  last  longer  for  being  consid- 
erably used;  and  they  seem  to  be  borne  out 
in  this  conclusion  by  facts.  But  if  the  teeth 
require  exercise  in  order  to  the  perfection  of 
19 


218  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

their  health,  what  are  we  to  think  of  the  im- 
portance of  light  to  the  eye,  sound  to  the  ear, 
employment  to  the  hands,  &.c.  ? 

It  is  extremely  difficult  to  induce  the  young 
to  pay  any  attention  to  this  important  subject, 
as  a  matter  of  duty,  even  in  some  of  its  most 
obvious  points  and  parts.  Some  of  them  will, 
it  is  true,  use  exercise  enough  of  a  particular 
kind,  and  at  particular  times;  but  the  idea  of 
attending  to  it  as  a  matter  of  duty,  is  exceed- 
ingly hard  for  them  to  receive  or  entertain. 

Few  things  are  more  pitiful,  than  the  sight 
of  young  persons  of  either  sex,  so  entirely 
enslaved  to  fashion,  that  they  dare  not  labor 
in  the  garden  or  the  kitchen — or  even  walk 
briskly,  lest  somebody  should  observe  and 
speak  of  it.  It  is  not  to  be  wondered  at — 
trained  as  the  young  of  both  sexes  are,  to  de- 
mand incessant  excitement — that  they  should 
dislike  walking,  and  every  thing  else  of  the 
more  active  kind,  and  sigh  for  the  chaise,  the 
coach,  the  sleigh,  the  car  and  the  steamboat; 
but  it  does  seem  to  me  strange,  that,  contrary 
to  nature,  they  should  seek  their  happiness 
in  passive  exercises  alone,  forgetful  of  their 
limbs,  and  hands,  and  feet.  It  is  passing 
strange,  that  any  tyrant  should  be  able — even 


EXERCISE.  219 

Fashion  herself — so  to  change  the  whole  cur- 
rent of  human  feeling,  as  to  make  a  sprightly 
buoyant  young  girl  of  ten  years  of  age,  be- 
come at  thirteen  a  grave,  staid  or  mincing 
young  woman,  unable — rather  unwilling — to 
move,  except  in  a  certain  style,  and  then, 
only  with  an  effort  scarcely  exceeded  by  the 
efforts  of  those  who  are  suffering  from  in- 
quisitorial tortures. 

No  young  woman  who  has  a  conscientious 
desire  for  improvement,  and  who  is  acquainted 
with  the  merest  elements  of  physiological 
knowledge,  could  or  would  submit,  for  one 
day,  to  such  abominable  tyranny.  She  could 
not  but  be  afraid  thus  to  disobey  the  natural 
and  reasonable  laws  of  her  Maker,  and  to  per- 
severe in  such  disobedience. 

The  consequences  of  this  premature  inac- 
tivity of  the  human  frame,  on  the  future  well 
bring  of  that  frame,  have  never  been  half 
told:  nor  do  I  know  that  they  can  be — at 
least  for  some  time  to  come. 

I  scarcely  ever  prescribed  for  one  of  these 
staid  young  women,  without  very  great  pain. 
To  see  a  machine  evidently  made  by  its 
Almighty  Architect  for  a  great  deal  of  motion, 
nnd  made  to  run  on  with  exactness  for  a  bun- 


220  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

dred  years  or  more — (were  due  care  taken  to 
preserve  it  in  good  order) — completely  de- 
ranged, because  Fashion  says  that  motion  is 
ungraceful  or  unbecoming — what,  in  a  physi- 
cal point  of  view,  can  be  more  lamentable! 

To  see  woman  denied,  daily,  by  Fashion's 
nonsensical  decrees,  the  pleasure  which  every 
healthy  person  feels  in  the  use  of  his  limbs, 
with  their  hundreds  of  muscles  and  tendons, 
and  kept  not  only  inactive,  but  almost  secluded 
from  air  and  light — who  is  not  almost  ashamed 
that  he  belongs  to  the  same  species?  Yet  such 
things  are  quite  common  among  us,  and  they 
are  constantly  becoming  more  so. 


CHAPTER  XX. 


REST  AND  SLEEP. 

Why  rest  and  sloop  arc  needed.  Sleep  a  condition.  We 
should  sleep  in  the  night.  Moral  tendency  of  not  doing  so. 
Is  there  any  moral  character  in  such  things  ?  Of  rest 
without  sleep.  Good  habits  in  regard  to  sleep.  Apart- 
ments for  sleep.  Air.  Bed.  Covering.  Temperature. 
Night  clothing.  Advice  of  Macnish,  on  the  number  of 
persons  to  a  bed.  Preparation  for  sleep.  Suppers.  The 
more  we  indulge  in  sleep,  the  more  sleep  we  seem  to  re- 
quire. The  reader  urged  to  study  the  laws  of  rest  and 
sleep.     An  appeal. 

The  moving  powers  of  the  human  body  are 
so  constructed  by  the  grand  Mover  of  all 
things,  that  they  require  rest  as  well  as  ac- 
tion. And  of  the  many  hundreds  of  muscles 
and  tendons  in  the  living  system,  it  is  not 
known  that  there  is  one  which  could  continue 
its  action,  uninterruptedly,  for  any  considera- 
ble time,  without  serious  injury.  Even  the 
muscular  fibres  of  the  heart,  rest  a  part  of 
the  time  between  the  beats  and  pulsations. 
Whether  the  brain — which  is  of  course  with- 
19* 


222  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

out  muscular  fibres — can  act  incessantly  in 
the  production  of  thought,  is  a  question  which 
I  believe  is  not  yet  settled  by  metaphysicians. 
One  thing  we  do  know,  however — which  is, 
that  if  the  other  organs  suffer  for  want  of  rest, 
we  soon  find  that  by  the  law  of  sympathy  and 
otherwise,  the  brain  and  nervous  system 
suffer  along  with  them;  and  if  the  wakeful- 
ness is  greatly  protracted,  they  sometimes 
suffer  very  severely. 

I  have  said  that  all  the  moving  powers  of 
the  body  require  rest.  They  do;  and  in  the 
young,  a  good  deal  of  it.  It  is  in  vain  for 
mankind — the  young  especially — to  abridge 
their  hours  of  sleep,  whether  for  selfish  or 
benevolent  purposes.  Sleep  is  made  by  the 
Creator  a  condition  of  our  being  and  happi- 
ness; and  he  who  complies  not  with  this  con- 
dition, is  unworthy  of  the  boon. 

Sleep,  moreover,  should  be  had  at  the  right 
season.  It  is  useless  to  think  of  sleeping 
during  the  day-time,  and  keeping  awake 
during  the  night,  with  impunity.  For  many 
facts  are  on  record,  showing  in  vivid  colors 
the  mischiefs  which  result,  sooner  or  later, 
from  thus  turning  day  into  night  and  night  into 
day.     Need  I  present  these  facts?      They  are 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  228 

found,  in  greater  or  less  numbers,  in  almost 
every  work  on  health  or  physiology.  I  will 
present  but  one.     It  is  from  Valangin. 

Two  colonels  in  the  French  army,  some- 
time ago,  had  a  dispute  whether  it  was  most 
safe  to  march  in  the  heat  of  the  day,  or  in  the 
evening.  To  ascertain  this  point,  they  ob- 
tained permission  of  the  commanding  officer  to 
put  their  respective  plans  into  execution.  Ac- 
cordingly, the  one  with  his  division  inarched 
during  the  day,  although  it  was  in  the  heat  of 
summer,  and  rested  all  night.  The  other,  with 
his  men,  slept  in  the  day-time,  and  marched 
during  the  evening  and  part  of  the  night. 
The  result  was,  that  the  first  performed  a 
journey  of  six  hundred  miles  without  losing  a 
single  man  or  horse;  while  the  latter  lost 
most  of  his  horses,  and  several  of  his  men. 

Of  course,  the  inference  from  this,  and 
other  similar  facts,  is,  that  night  is  the  time  for 
Bleep,  and  not  day.  Is  it  said  that  every  per- 
son knows  this?  But  every  person  does  not 
practise  accordingly.  There  are  those  who 
either  do  not  know  the  fact — and  not  a  few 
young  women,  too,  may  be  found  among  the 
number — or  who,  knowing  it,  do  not  act  ac- 
cording to  their  knowledge.     Is  it  not  more 


224  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

charitable  to  conclude  they  do  not  know  the 
fact? 

Franklin,  indeed,  once  undertook  to  show, 
in  his  humorous  way,  that  the  inhabitants  of 
Paris  did  not  know  that  the  sun  gave  light  at 
first  rising.  Whether  they  did  know  it  or 
not — or  whether  or  not  they  were  culpable  for 
their  ignorance,  provided  it  was  voluntary — I 
shall  hold  my  readers  to  be  as  truly  guilty  of 
doing  that  wrong  which  is  the  result  of  their 
own  voluntary  ignorance,  as  if  their  minds  were 
really  enlightened.  The  young  woman  who 
goes  to  bed  so  late  that  she  cannot  wake  till  it 
has  been  day  for  some  time — or  who  darkens 
her  room  on  purpose  that  the  day-light  may 
not  interrupt  her  repose  when  it  comes — and 
who  knows,  at  the  same  time,  that  it  is  wrong 
to  sleep  by  day-light,  except  from  the  most 
absolute  necessity — is  as  truly  guilty,  as  if  she 
slept  by  day-light  with  her  windows  open. 

I  believe  the  night  is  long  enough  for  sleep 
in  any  latitude  not  higher  that  sixty  degrees; 
and  few  of  the  human  family  reside  farther 
towards  the  poles  than  sixty  degrees. 

The  young  woman  who  finds  herself  in- 
clined to  sleep  after  day-light,  should  resolve 
to  break  the  habit  as  soon  as  possible.     In 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  225 

order  to  do  this,  however,  she  should  believe 
herself  able  to  do  it. 

Here  it  will  be  rational  to  ask  whether,  after 
all,  there  is  any  moral  character  in  the  error, 
if  it  be  one,  of  sitting  up  an  hour  later  than 
usual,  and  then  making  it  up  by  sleeping  an 
hour  after  the  arrival  of  day-light; — whether 
it  is  not  a  matter  of  jyroprietij,  merely,  rather 
than  a  question  of  positive  right  or  wrong  in 
the  sight  of  Heaven. 

This  question  I  have  answered  in  the  chap- 
ter on  Conscientiousness — to  which,  in  order 
to  prevent  repetition,  I  might  refer  the  reader. 
If  there  be  a  sort  of  actions  to  which  no  char- 
acter, good  or  bad,  can  justly  be  attached,  then 
what  did  the  apostle  mean  in  requiring  that 
vh at soever  we  do  should  be  done  to  the  glory 
of  God?  and  where  is  the  line  to  be  drawn 
hot  ween  those  actions  which  are  too  small  or 
too  trifling  to  be  worthy  of  having  any  right  or 
wrong  attached  to  them,  and  those  which  are 
not  ?  But  if  every  thing  we  do  is  either  right  or 
wronrr,  then  there  is  a  rijjht  and  a  wrong  in 
regard  to  the  particular  class  of  actions  of 
which  I  am  just  now  treating. 

The  object  of  sleep  should  be  to  restore  us, 
and  fit  us  for  renewed  action.     We  may  rest, 


226  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

to  some  extent,  without  sleep;  as  when  we 
throw  ourselves  upon  a  sofa,  or  sit  in  an  easy 
chair.  Indeed,  there  is  no  hour  of  the  day,  in 
which  some  portions  of  the  moving  powers  are 
not  resting,  more  or  less.  Still  we  cannot  be 
wholly  restored  in  body  and  mind,  without  the 
soothing  influence  of 

"  Tired  nature's  sweet  restorer,  balmy  sleep." 

Every  young  woman  should  regulate  her 
habits  in  regard  to  sleep  and  rest — not  less 
than  all  her  other  habits — in  such  a  way  as 
will  tend  most  to  the  good  of  her  whole  nature ; 
and  as  will  consequently  tend  most  to  the  glory 
of  God.  In  other  words,  every  person  should 
be  governed,  in  this  matter,  by  true  philosophy 
and  christian  principle.  This  would  lead  to  the 
following  axioms  or  conclusions,  every  one  of 
which  is  sustained  by  high  authority. 

Apartments  for  sleep  should,  if  possible,  be 
large  and  airy — and  not  on  a  ground  floor,  or 
in  too  dark  a  corner  of  the  building. 

The  air  of  the  room  should  circulate  freely; 
although  it  is  not  considered  safe  to  be  ex- 
posed to  currents  of  air.  To  this  end,  the  bed 
should  be  rather  large  and  loose — and  should 
stand  out  from  the  wall,  and  from  the  corners 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  227 

of  the  room;    and  should  be  without  curtains, 
even  in  the  coldest  weather. 

The  bed  ought  to  be  rather  hard;  but  it 
should,  at  any  rate,  be  cool.  Soft,  yielding 
feather  beds,  in  which  the  body  sinks  deeply, 
are  very  injurious,  on  account  of  the  unnatural 
heat  and  perspiration  they  are  sure  to  induce. 
It  is  of  little  consequence  what  the  material 
of  your  bed  is,  if  it  be  light,  dry  and  porous, 
and  not  too  soft.  Straw,  grass,  husks,  hair, 
and  a  great  variety  of  other  things,  have  been 
employed.  Almost  any  thing — I  repeat  it — is 
better  than  feathers.  The  same  remarks  will 
apply  to  pillows. 

We  should  sleep  with  as  little  covering  as 
we  can,  and  not  actually  feel  cold  and  chilly. 
Most  persons  sleep  under  a  great  deal  too 
much  clothing.  They  require  more  in  cold 
than  in  warm  weather.  They  also  require 
more  on  first  going  to  bed,  than  when  they 
get  fairly  warm:  but  as  it  usually  happens  that 
they  get  warm  and  go  to  sleep  at  nearly  the 
same  time,  it  follows,  that  the  clothing  which 
was  only  sufficient  to  warm  them,  remains  on 
them  all  night.  We  ought  not  to  put  on  so 
much  clothing  as  we  are  apt  to  do  when  we 
first  go  to  bed — and  then  we  shall  not  be  likely 


228  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE.       - 

to  sleep  all  night  under  too  much  clothing,  and 
wake  up  in  the  morning  weakened  by  it. 

The  temperature  of  the  room  must  never 
be  overlooked.  It  should  be  as  cold  as  it  can 
well  be  made,  and  not  be  absolutely  uncom- 
fortable. 

One  reason  for  this  is,  that  the  oxygen,  or 
vital  principle  of  the  air,  which  is  more  abund- 
ant in  a  given  volume  of  cool  air  than  in  an 
equal  amount  of  that  which  is  warmer,  will 
last  longer  when  the  room  is  cool,  and  the 
room  will  thus  remain  free  from  impurity. 

Another  reason  is,  that  rarilied  air  not  only 
contains  less  oxygen  in  a  given  volume,  as  I 
have  already  said,  but  also  appears  to  admit 
more  readily  of  the  admixture  and  thorough 
diffusion  of  bad  gases.  The  carbonic  acid 
gas  which  is  formed  by  breathing,  settles  the 
more  readily  towards  the  floor,  in  proportion 
to  the  general  density  of  the  atmosphere  of 
the  room;  and  if  the  bed-room  be  large,  so 
that  it  does  not  accumulate  in  such  a  quantity 
as  to  rise  higher  than  the  bedstead,  it  is 
less  likely  to  be  breathed  over  again,  than  if 
the  atmosphere  were  more  rare. 

But  there  is  still  another  reason  for  having 
our  bed-clothes  cool — though  it  is  substantially 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  229 

the  same  with  that  mentioned  in  a  preceding 
paragraph  for  having  light  rooms,  beds,  and 
light  covering.  We  are  greatly  debilitated 
by  sleeping  unnecessarily  warm.  Our  vital 
powers  should  be  trained  to  generate  as  much 
heat  as  they  can;  and  what  they  have  been 
trained  to  do,  they  should  continue  to  per- 
form. All  the  heat,  I  say,  therefore,  which  the 
body  will  manufacture  for  itself,  it  should  be 
permitted  to  do.  But  the  moment  we  depend, 
unnecessarily,  on  external  means  of  warmth — 
means  of  keeping  in  the  warmth  of  our  bodies, 
I  mean — as  too  much  or  too  soft  and  warm 
bed  clothing,  and  too  warm  an  atmosphere — 
that  moment  our  internal  organs  begin  to  be 
enervated,  in  a  greater  or  less  degree,  whether 
we  are  sensible  of  it  or  not. 

We  should  not  sleep  in  the  clothes  we  have 
worn  during  the  day.  This  is  not  on  account 
of  the  heat  it  may  induce,  but  on  account  of 
the  bad  air  which  our  clothing  confines.  By 
having  extra  clothes  for  the  night,  and  those 
very  few  indeed,  and  taking  a  little  pains 
with  those  we  have  worn  during  the  day — to 
bring  them  up  and  air  them  properly — we  may 
do  much  towards  keeping  the  pores  of  our 
bodies  open,  and  preserving  the  skin  in  a  clean 
20 


230  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

state,  and  in  a  condition  to  perform  its  accus- 
tomed work. 

We  should  also  avoid  damp  clothing  about 
our  beds  or  bed  rooms.  A  healthy  person 
may  get  slightly  wet  in  the  early  part  of  the 
day,  and  even  remain  wet  for  a  short  time,  es- 
pecially if  he  continues  action,  without  injury: 
but  it  is  by  no  means  safe  to  sit  down,  or  lie 
down,  in  wet  or  damp  clothing;  and  it  is  more 
unsafe  to  do  so  at  the  close  of  the  day,  than  it 
is  in  the  morning.  A  vast  amount  of  disease — 
colds,  rheumatism,  fever  and  consumption — is 
generated  or  aggravated  in  this  way. 

What  I  have  here  said  of  the  conditions  of 
sleep,  is  sustained,  as  I  have  already  informed 
the  reader,  by  high  authority;  I  mean  that  of 
Macnish.  He  says,  further,  that  "the  prac- 
tice of  having  two  or  three  beds  in  one  room, 
and  two  or  three  individuals  in  each  bed,  must 
be  deleterious;"  and  that  wherever  it  is  ne- 
cessary for  more  than  one  person  to  sleep  in 
a  single  bed,  "  they  should  take  care  to  place 
themselves  in  such  a  position  as  not  to  breathe 
in  each  others'  faces."  He  also  alludes  to 
the  custom  of  covering  the  head  with  the  bed- 
clothes— and  calls  it,  as  he  ought  to  do,  "  a 
dangerous  custom." 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  231 

Macnish  also  gives  the  following  directions 
on  this  subject. 

"  Before  going  to  bed,  the  body  should  be 
brought  into  that  state,  which  gives  us  the 
surest  chance  of  dropping  speedily  asleep.  If 
too  hot,  its  temperature  ought  to  be  reduced 
by  cooling  drinks,  exposure  to  the  open  air, 
sponging,  or  even  the  cold  bath.  If  too  cold, 
it  must  be  brought  into  a  comfortable  state  by 
warmth.  For  both  cold  and  heat  act  as 
stimuli,  and  their  removal  is  necessary  before 
sleep  can  ensue. 

"A  full  stomach,  also,  though  it  some- 
times promotes,  generally  prevents  sleep; 
consequently,  supper  ought  to  be  dispensed 
with,  except  by  those  who,  having  been  long 
used  to  this  meal,  cannot  do  without  it.  As  a 
general  rule,  the  person  who  eats  nothing  for 
two  or  three  hours  before  going  to  rest,  will 
sleep  better  than  he  who  eats  a  late  supper. 
His  sleep  will  also  be  more  refreshing;  and 
his  sensations  upon  awaking,  much  more 
gratifying." 

The  cold  bath  at  going  to  bed,  taken  to  re- 
duce our  heat,  because  we  are  two  warm,  is 
of  rather  doubtful  utility.  Some  may  use  it 
with  entire  safetv ;   but  to  the  feeble,  or  those 


232  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

who  have  been  greatly  over-heated  or  over- 
fatigued,  it  would  be  hazardous. 

By  supper,  Macnish  means,  no  doubt,  that 
fourth  meal  so  common  in  fashionable  life,  and 
not  the  usual  third  meal  at  six  o'clock.  Those 
who  never  heard  of  a  fourth,  have  no  occa- 
sion for  caution  on  this  subject,  except  it  be 
in  regard  to  quantity.  This  third  meal,  how- 
ever, even  when  it  is  eaten  three  hours  be- 
fore going  to  bed,  should  be  light. 

In  order  to  sleep  properly,  let  all  the  con- 
ditions which  I  have  mentioned  be  faithfully 
observed.  Then  to  these  let  there  be  added 
a  most  strict  and  conscientious  regard  for  the 
rule  which  I  have  suggested  in  the  beginning 
of  this  chapter — which  is,  to  rise  early.  Let 
no  young  woman  be  found  in  bed  after  day- 
light, in  the  longest  days;  nor  in  the  winter, 
after  four  o'clock. 

Some  will  say,  that  at  this  rate  they  should 
not  get  sleep  enough  during  the  night;  and 
should,  as  a  consequence,  either  be  dull 
during  their  waking  hours,  or  be  obliged  to 
take  a  nap  in  the  day-time.  Eut  if  our  hard- 
laboring  people  who  rise  at  four  o'clock  in 
the  summer,  find  time  enough  to  sleep — most 
of  them — without  a  nap  in  the  day-time,  surely 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  '233 

they  whose  labor  is  not  so  hard,  can  do  it. 
They  cannot,  I  well  know,  if  they  sit  up  till 
ten  or  eleven  o'clock  at  night. 

If  any  one  desires  to  glorify  God  in  every 
thing  she  does,  let  her  attend  to  the  conditions 
I  have  mentioned.  If  she  finds  that  in  rising 
at  day-light  she  does  not  get  sleep  enough,  let 
her  go  to  bed  a  little  earlier.  We  ought  to 
sleep  about  as  much  before  midnight  as  after; 
and  she  who  goes  to  bed  at  eight,  and  rises  at 
four,  will  be  pretty  sure  to  get  sleep  enough. 
Few  if  any  persons  over  twelve  years  of  age, 
need  more  than  eight  hours  sleep;  and  the 
greater  proportion  not  so  much. 

Here  I  will  mention  one  thing  which  does 
not  seem  to  me  to  be  generally  known.  The 
more  we  sleep,  if  we  increase  our  sleep  by 
degrees,  the  more  we  may.  How  far  the 
time  for  sleep  may  be  thus  extended,  I  do 
not  know.  There  are,  indeed,  circumstances 
which  may  make  the  same  individual  require 
less  or  more  sleep,  independent  of  the  habit 
of  indulgence:  still  it  is  true,  as  a  general 
fact,  that  we  may  sleep  as  much  or  as  little  as 
we  please. 

When  we  increase  the  hours  of  sleep,  how- 
ever, it  does  not  follow  that  we  actually  sleep 
20* 


234  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

more  in  the  same  proportion.  Let  an  active 
individual,  who  has  been  accustomed  to  six 
hours,  suddenly  confine  herself  to  four.  Will 
her  actual  sleep  be  abridged  one  third?  By 
no  means.  Nature  will  endeavor  to  make 
up  for  the  loss  of  time  by  inducing  sounder 
sleep. 

In  this,  however,  she  is  only  in  part  suc- 
cessful. For  those  who  sleep  so  very  soundly, 
often  sleep  too  sound.  We  are  sometimes 
conscious,  when  we  awake  from  an  over-sound 
sleep,  that  we  are  not  well  refreshed;  but 
whether  conscious  of  it  or  not,  it  is  so.  Mac- 
nish  says — "That  sleep  from  which  we  are 
easily  roused,  is  the  healthiest;  very  pro- 
found slumber  partakes  of  the  nature  of  apo- 
plexy." 

A  person  who,  having  been  in  the  habit  of 
sleeping  six  hours  in  twenty-four,  suddenly  re- 
duces the  number  to  four,  will,  probably,  for  a 
time,  sleep  as  much  in  four  hours  as  she  slept 
before  in  about  five,  or  five  and  a  half.  But  the 
quality  of  these  five  or  five  and  a  half  hours' 
sleep  will  be  inferior,  and  continue  so,  unless 
she  arouses  herself  to  an  increased  activity  of 
her  intellectual  powers,  and  reduces  the 
quantity  of  her  food  and  drink. 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  235 

I  have  supposed  it  to  be  generally  known, 
that  we  need  the  more  sleep — or  seem  to  need 
it — in  proportion  as  our  minds  are  less  active, 
and  our  bodily  appetites  hold  us  more  in  sub- 
jection. The  individual,  male  or  female,  who 
approaches  most  nearly  to  the  more  stupid 
lower  animals  in  point  of  intelligence,  activity 
and  general  habits,  will  actually  seem  to  re- 
quire the  most  sleep;  and,  on  the  contrary, 
in  proportion  as  an  individual  rises  above  all 
this,  and  becomes  exceedingly  active  in  mind, 
body  and  spirit,  will  the  necessity  for  sleep 
be  greatly  diminished.  Some  of  the  most  ele- 
vated of  the  human  race,  in  point  of  intelli- 
gence, benevolence  and  benevolent  activity 
or  spirituality,  have  required  but  very  little 
sleep.  Of  this  number  were  Wesley,  Mat- 
thew Hale,  Alfred  the  Great,  Jeremy  Taylor, 
Baxter,  Bishops  Jewel  and  Burnet,  Dr.  John 
Hunter,  Dr.  Priestly,  and  Sobieski — as  well  as 
Frederick  the  Great,  Gen.  Elliot,  Lord  Wel- 
ling, and  Napoleon.  Of  the  same  number, 
too,  are  some  of  our  modern  missionaries — to 
say  nothing  of  several  distinguished  states- 
men, among  whom  is  Lord  Brougham. 

In  view  of  these  considerations,  is  there  one 
of  my  readers,  who,  while  she  endeavors  to 


236  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

sleep  enough  to  answer  every  valuable  pur- 
pose of  her  existence,  on  penalty  of  more  or 
less  suffering,  will  not  guard,  with  the  same 
assiduity,  against  sleeping  too  much?  Aware 
that  the  more  she  indulges  herself,  the  more 
she  may,  because  she  will  become  by  so 
much  the  more  stupid — and  that  the  more  she 
denies  herself  sleep,  provided  it  is  not  to  such 
an  extent  that  her  sleep  becomes  apoplectic, 
the  more  will  her  intellectual  powers  be  de- 
veloped and  acquire  the  ascendency,  and  her 
animal  nature  be  brought  into  subjection — 
will  she  not  exert  herself  to  the  utmost,  and 
pray  for  aid  from  on  high,  in  striving  to  gain 
the  victory  over  herself — her  lower  self — her 
animal  self — and  of  thus  increasing  the  dura- 
tion and  value  of  her  existence? 

I  do  not  merely  urge  the  consideration  of 
the  great  amount  of  time  which  may  be  saved 
by  rising  early.  Some  have  attempted  to 
show  that  they  who  rise  two  hours  earlier 
every  morning  than  is  usual,  gain  an  amount 
of  time  in  sixty  years — viz.,  from  the  age  of 
ten  to  that  of  seventy — equal  to  about  seven 
years  of  active  life.  Is  it  not  obvious  that 
there  is  some  fallacy  in  this?  For  if  she  who 
rises  two  hours  earlier,  goes  to  bed  as  much 


REST    AND    SLEEP.  °237 

earlier  at  night,  no  time  is  saved  at  all.  And 
if  without  going  to  bed  any  earlier,  she  is 
rendered  so  much  more  dull  or  sleepy  during 
the  day,  that  she  loses  two  hours  or  even  one, 
this  will  form  a  proportional  deduction  from 
her  supposed  gain.  It  is  she,  only,  who, 
while  she  sleeps  all  which  her  nature  really 
demands,  and  takes  care  not  to  exceed  the 
demand,  succeeds  also  in  lessening  the  de- 
mand itself,  who  is  the  real  gainer. 

It  is  a  pitiable  sight  to  see  an  immortal 
man,  made  in  the  image  of  Almighty  God, 
and  capable,  by  divine  aid,  of  enjoying  Him 
forever,  rendering  himself  sleepy,  brutish,  or 
besotted,  by  the  form  of  indulgence  of  which 
I  am  now  speaking.  And  it  seems  to  me 
still  more  pitiable — indeed,  absolutely  dis- 
gusting— to  see  females  doing  this;  and  espe- 
cially, intelligent  young  women! 

I  wish  every  reader  would  take  this  subject 
of  wasting  time  in  sleep  into  serious,  and  con- 
scientious, and  prayerful  consideration.  Let 
her  remember  that  her  time  is  not  hers,  any 
more  than  she  herself  is  her  own ;  that  both 
are  "bought  with  a  price " — an  amazing 
price,  too!  How  can  she,  then,  waste  time — 
a  single  moment  of  it?     Yet  people  will  do  it. 


238  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

Hundreds,  and  thousands,  and  millions,  will 
do  it.  Some  will  do  it — many,  I  fear — who 
have  professed  the  christian  name,  and  who 
believe  that  they  bear  in  their  bodies  the 
marks  of  their  dying  Lord  and  Master. 

I  will  close  this  chapter  by  briefly  summing 
up  what  has  been  said.  Let  your  sleep  be 
in  the  night;  not  in  the  day-time.  Let  it 
be,  moreover,  in  the  middle  of  the  night, 
as  much  as  possible.  To  sit  up  till  near  mid- 
night, and  to  get  up  just  after  midnight,  are 
perhaps  equally  injurious,  though  not  by  any 
means  equally  common.  Spend  the  close  of 
each  day  at  home;  and  go  to  bed  early,  with 
an  empty  or  nearly  an  empty  stomach,  a 
cheerful  temper,  a  quiet  mind,  and  a  good  con- 
science. Let  the  air  be  pure,  yourself  pure, 
your  clothing  and  bed  simple  and  cool,  and 
your  room  also  cool.  Wake  with  the  first  rays 
of  the  morning.  Get  up  as  soon  as  you  awake ; 
and  if  your  sleep  has  been  insufficient,  go  to 
rest  a  little  earlier  the  succeeding  evening. 
Thus  will  you  at  once  discharge  your  duty, 
and  obtain  peace  here  and  hereafter. 


CHAPTER  XXI. 


INDUSTRY. 


Education  to  industry.  Man  naturally  a  lazy  animal.  Indo- 
lence in  females.  Hybernation.  Every  young-  woman 
ought  to  be  trained  to  support  herself,  should  necessity 
require  it,  and  to  aid  in  supporting  others.  She  should,  at 
least,  be  always  industrious.  Kinds  of  labor.  Mental 
labor  as  truly  valuable  as  bodily. 

What  common  virtue  is  there,  more  com- 
mendable in  the  young,  than  industry?  On 
this  account,  and  in  this  view,  it  is,  that  well 
disposed  parents  sometimes  employ  their  chil- 
dren in  a  way  not  absolutely,  or  in  itself,  use- 
ful to  them,  for  the  sake  of  the  general  habit. 
Such  parents  are  certainly  excusable,  even  if 
their  example  should  not  he  regarded  as  com- 
mendable, or  as  worthy  of  being  followed. 

Dr.  Good,  the  well  known  theological,  phi- 
losophical, and  medical  writer,  avows  the  be- 
lief that  man  is  naturally  lazy;  that  he  would 
not  so  much  as  lift  a  finger,  if  he  could  help 
it;   and  that  all  his  activity  grows  out  of  a  de- 


240  THE    YOUNG   WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

sire  to  avoid  present  or  future  suffering,  or 
pain.  Perhaps  this  is  carrying  the  matter 
rather  too  far;  since  we  see  young  children 
positively  active,  not  so  much  from  the  desire 
of  avoiding  pain,  as  from  that  of  procuring 
pleasure.  But  however  untrue  it  may  be  in 
regard  to  children,  it  is  unquestionably  true 
of  many  adults;  and  of  some,  it  is  to  be 
feared,  of  both  sexes. 

Of  all  lazy  persons,  however,  I  dislike 
most  to  see  a  lazy  young  woman.  Destined 
by  her  Creator  at  once  to  charm,  instruct  and 
improve  the  world  around  her,  by  her  looks, 
her  words  and  her  actions — and  this  to  a  de- 
gree which  no  female  has  ever  yet  attained — 
how  exceedingly  painful  is  it  to  see  her  float- 
ing along  the  stream  of  inaction  or  insignifi- 
cance, without  making  one  considerable  effort 
to  arouse  her  faculties — bodily,  mental  and 
intellectual — from  their  half  dormant  condi- 
tion. 

Too  many  females  who  are  trained  in  the 
bosom  of  ease  and  abundance,  have  no  idea  of 
any  attempts  at  benevolent  effort,  or  even  of 
active,  untiring  industry.  If  they  are  not  more 
selfish  than  the  other  sex,  they  are  scarcely 
less  so.     They  live  but  for  themselves,   and 


INDUSTRY.  211 

seem  to  desire  no  more.  Granting,  as  we 
sometimes  do,  that  this  is  the  fault  of  their 
education,  is  it  therefore  the  less  pitiahle? 

I  have  already  urged  the  importance  of  self- 
dependence.  Every  healthy  young  woman 
ought  to  be  so  trained,  as  to  be  able  to  make 
her  own  way  through  the  world  without  be- 
coming at  all  its  debtor.  I  speak  now  not 
merely  of  her  moral,  and  intellectual,  and 
domestic  efforts,  but  also  of  her  physical  ones. 
I  care  not  what  her  rank  or  condition  may  be; 
every  American  young  woman  ought  to  be 
able,  in  the  common  language  of  the  commu- 
nity, to  support  herself  through  life. 

I  must  insist  on  even  more  than  this.  She 
ought  to  be  able,  in  point  of  bodily  efficiency, 
to  do  something  for  the  support  of  others;  and 
not  merely  something,  but  a  great  deal.  I 
am  not  ignorant  of  the  low  rate  of  female 
wages — disproportioned,  altogether  so,  to  their 
comparative  value  in  the  scale  of  human  hap- 
piness. And  yet,  with  all  necessary  abate- 
ments, I  hold  that  all  healthy  females  ought 
to  be  able  to  support  themselves,  should  ne- 
cessity require  it,  and  to  aid  in  supporting 
others. 

Whether,  however,  their  labor  supports 
21 


242  THE    tOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

themselves,  or  more  than  does  it,  is  not  so 
much  the  question,  as  whether  they  are  truly 
industrious.  An  aged  woman,  who  at  ninety 
was  often  found  at  her  spinning  wheel,  and 
always  at  active  employment — though  by  no 
means  indigent — was  accustomed  to  say,  that 
every  person  ought  to  strain  every  nerve  to 
get  property  as  long  as  life  lasts,  as  a  matter 
of  duty.  I  would  not  say  quite  so  much  as 
this;  but  I  do  say  that  every  person,  no  mat- 
ter what  may  be  her  rank  or  circumstances, 
ought  to  be  industrious,  from  early  life  to  the 
last  moment.  Such  a  person,  male  or  female, 
will  seldom  want  means  of  support,  and  even 
of  distributing  "to  him  that  needeth;"  but 
should  such  a  thing  happen,  it  is  of  no  very 
great  importance.  She  will  at  least  die  with 
the  consciousness  of  having  spent  her  life 
in  active  industry,  and  of  having  benefited 
somebody,  though  she  may  have  spent  less  on 
herself. 

As  to  the  kind  of  labor  or  exercise  in  which 
females  ought  to  engage,  I  have  perhaps  said 
enough  already.  I  will  only  add,  that  I  consider 
a  person  as  industrious  and  as  truly  worthy 
of  reward — I  mean  pecuniary  reward — in  per- 
forming valuable  mental  or  moral  labor  a  part 


INDUSTRY.  243 

of  her  time,  as  she  who  is  engaged  the  whole 
time  with  her  hands;  and  I  know  of  no  pro- 
priety in  the  custom  which  has  led  to  the  valu- 
ation of  things  by  a  different  standard.  I 
know  of  no  reason,  for  example,  why  a  young 
woman  who,  as  a  sister,  or  as  a  daughter,  or 
as  a  friend  merely,  contributes,  by  wise  man- 
agement, to  keep  an  aged  parent  or  an  infant 
child,  or  any  other  person,  happy — though  it 
were  only  by  cheerful  conversation,  or  by  re- 
lating stories  for  an  hour  or  so,  occasionally — 
I  know  not,  I  say,  why  she  is  not  as  truly  en- 
titled to  the  rewards  of  industry,  as  though 
she  were  employed  in  furnishing  bread  or 
clothing  to  the  same  persons.  Are  the  affec- 
tions, and  passions,  and  knowledge,  and  ex- 
cellence, of  less  value  than  the  rewards  of 
manual  labor,  in  money  or  property  ?  And  is 
not  mental  or  spiritual  labor  at  least  as  valu- 
able as  bodily? 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


VISITING. 

Is  there  no  time  for  relaxation  ?  May  there  not  be  passive 
enjoyments?  Passive  enjoyments  sometimes  wrong.  How 
christian  visits  should  be  conducted.  Duty  and  pleasure 
compatible.  Passive  visits  useful  to  childhood.  Folly  of 
morning  calls  and  evening  parties.  Bible  doctrine  of  visit- 
ing.    Abuse  of  visiting. 

But  is  a  young  woman  to  be  always  actively 
employed?  Is  not  time  to  be  allotted  her  for 
mere  passive  enjoyments?  May  she  never 
unbend  her  mind  from  what  is  called  duty? 
May  she  never  lay  herself,  as  it  were,  on 
the  bosom  of  her  family  and  friends?  May 
she  never  seat  herself  on  the  living  green, 
amid  roses  and  violets,  or  on  the  mossy  bank 
studded  with  cresses  or  cowslips,  and  laved 
by  the  crystal  stream?  May  she  never  view 
the  silver  fish  as  he  leaps  up,  and  "dumbly 
speaks  the  praise  of  God?"  May  she  never 
wander  abroad  for  the  sake  of  wandering,  or 
ride   for  the  sake  of  riding;  or  gaze  on  the 


VISITING.  245 

blue  etherial  by  day,  or  the  star-spangled 
canopy  by  night? 

Far  be  it  from  me  to  say  any  such  thing; 
for  I  know  not  to  whom  such  exercises,  as 
such  exercises  merely,  may  or  may  not  be  ne- 
cessary. That  they  may  be  useful  to  many, 
cannot  be  doubted;  but  that  they  are  far  from 
being  useful,  or  even  innocent,  to  all,  is  quite 
as  certain. 

It  is  certain,  I  say,  that  mere  passive  exer- 
cises are  not  only  unnecessary  with  many,  but 
sometimes  wrong.  The  young  woman  who 
is  trained,  or  who  has  commenced  training 
herself,  on. truly  christian  principles,  and  who 
enjoys  a  tolerable  measure  of  health,  will 
hardly  find  special  seasons  of  this  sort  neces- 
sary or  desirable.  She  will  find  sufficient 
relaxation  amid  the  routine  of  active  life  and 
her  daily  occupations,  and  in  her  labors  of 
love  and  charity. 

The  society  of  sisters,  brothers,  parents, 
grand-parents — of  companions,  indeed,  of 
every  sort  with  whom  she  mingles,  at  home 
or  at  school — will  afford  her,  at  times,  every 
enjoyment,  even  of  the  passive  sort,  which  she 
really  needs;  or  which,  if  she  has  the  true 
spirit  of  Christ,  she  will  heartily  desire.  In 
21  • 


246  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

her  duties  to  these — nay,  even  in  her  very 
duties  to  herself — in  the  kitchen,  the  garden 
or  the  field,  she  will  have  ample  opportunity  of 
descanting  on  the  beauties  and  glories  of  the 
animal  and  vegetable  world,  and  on  the  won- 
ders of  the  starry  heavens.  In  pruning,  and 
watering,  and  weeding  the  vines  and  plants, 
she  may  drink  in  as  much  as  she  pleases  of  the 
living  green,  as  well  as  feast  her  eyes,  anon, 
on  the  blue  expanse;  and  in  her  walks  of 
charity  and  mercy,  whether  alone  or  in  com- 
pany with  others,  she  may  also  receive  the 
nectar  of  heaven,  as  it  glistens  and  invites 
from  Nature's  own  cup,  in  as  rich  draughts  as 
if  she  were  merely  lounging,  and  seeking  for 
pleasure — nay,  even  in  richer  ones,  by  as 
much  as  active  exercise  of  body,  mind  and 
soul,  gives  her  the  better  mental  and  physical 
appetite. 

It  is  one  of  the  strongest  proofs  that  we 
have  a  benevolent  Creator  at  the  head  of  the 
world  in  which  we  live,  that  he  has  made 
duty  and  enjoyment  perfectly  compatible,  so 
that  in  pursuing  the  pathway  of  the  former, 
we  almost  inevitably  make  sure  of  the  latter; 
and  it  is  also  equally  remarkable,  if  not  an 
equally  strong  proof  of  benevolence,  that  in 


VISITING.  247 

seeking  enjoyment,  as  such,  without  seeking 
it  in  the  path  of  duty,  we  seldom  find  it — or  if 
found,  it  is  hut  half  enjoyed. 

There  is  nothing  in  this  world — or  hardly 
any  thing,  to  say  the  least — which  should  be 
done  for  the  mere  sake  of  doing  it.  We  labor 
not  for  the  sake  of  laboring,  alone;  we  eat 
not,  and  we  drink  not,  for  the  sake,  merely, 
of  eating  and  drinking — at  least  we  should 
not,  would  we  obtain  the  whole  benefit  of  eat- 
ing and  drinking ;  nor  are  we  even  to  amuse 
ourselves  for  the  sake  alone  of  the  amuse- 
ment. Double  ends  arc  often  secured  by 
single  means;  nay,  almost  always  so.  I  speak 
now  of  the  woman,  and  not  of  the  infant  or 
the  child. 

Social  visits  among  friends  and  neighbors, 
for  the  mere  sake  of  the  passive  enjoyment 
they  afford  in  the  earliest  years  of  infancy, 
may  do  exceedingly  well  as  a  preparation  for 
the  more  active  and  more  truly  christian  visits 
of  maturer  years  and  later  life.  They  are 
useful  in  elevating  ourselves  and  others  to  a 
state  where  such  visiting  is  not  so  needful  to 
our  happiness. 

As  to  many  forms  of  visiting  current  among 
us — such  as  morning   calls,  evening  parties, 


243  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

and  calls  of  any  sort  which  answer  none  of 
the  real  purposes  of  visiting — tending  neither 
to  make  ourselves  or  any  body  else  wiser  or 
better,  but,  on  the  contrary,  to  make  society 
worse,  indirectly — I  have  never  found  any 
apology  for  them  which  seemed  to  me  suffi- 
cient to  satisfy  a  rational,  intelligent,  immortal 
spirit.  To  come  together  late  in  the  evening, 
just  to  eat  and  drink  together  that  which 
ought  not  to  be  eaten  and  drunk  at  all — or 
if  at  all,  certainly  not  at  such  an  hour;  to 
hold  conversation  an  hour  or  two  under  the 
influence  of  some  sort  of  excitement,  physical 
or  moral,  got  up  for  the  occasion,  on  topics 
which  are  of  little  comparative  importance — 
of  which  the  most  valuable  part  often  is,  the 
inquiry,  How  do  you  do?  and  the  consequent 
replies  to  it;  to  trifle  the  time  away  till  ten, 
eleven  or  twelve  o'clock,  and  then  go  home 
through  the  cold,  damp  atmosphere,  perhaps 
thinly  clad,  to  suffer  that  night  for  want  of 
proper  and  sufficient  sleep,  and  the  next  day 
from  indigestion,  and  a  thousand  other  evils; 
what  can  be  more  truly  pitiable,  not  to  say 
ridiculous!  Nor  is  the  practice  of  putting 
on  a  new  dress — or  one  which,  if  not  new,  we 
are  quite  willing  to  exhibit — and  of  going  to 


VISITING.  249 

see  our  neighbors,  and  staving  just  long 
enough  to  ask  how  they  do,  say  a  few  stale  or 
silly  things,  and  prove  an  interruption  and 
a  nuisance,  and  then  going  elsewhere — a  whit 
more  justifiable,  in  beings  made  in  the  image 
of  God,  and  who  are  to  be  accountable  at  his 
eternal  bar. 

Let  it  not  be  said  that  I  disapprove  of  visit- 
ing, entirely.  One  of  the  grounds  of  condem- 
nation at  the  final  day,  is  represented  in  the 
twenty-fifth  chapter  of  Matthew,  as  being — 
"  Ye  visited  me  not;"  that  is,  did  not  visit,  in 
the  name  and  for  the  sake  of  the  Judge,  those 
whom  God  has  made  it  their  duty  no  less  than 
their  privilege,  to  visit.  And  shall  I  set  my- 
self, with  impunity,  against  that  which  my 
Saviour  has  encouraged,  and  yet  pretend  to 
be  one  of  his  followers?  What  could  be 
more  presumptuous?  I  am  not  an  enemy  to 
visiting,  if  done  with  a  view  to  glorify  God  in 
the  benefit  of  mankind.  Let  young  women 
visit3  indeed;  but  let  it  be  done  in  a  way  which 
can  be  approved  by  their  Saviour  and  Judge. 
There  may  be  dissipation  in  the  garb  of 
visiting;  and  it  is  still  oftener  no  more  than 
the  garb  of  indolence. 

It  is  not  visiting,  but  visiting  without  a  defi- 


£50  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 'l    GUIDE. 

nite  or  important  purpose,  which  I  dislike.  It 
is  not  visiting  itself,  but  the  abuse  of  visiting. 
Celestial  spirits,  for  aught  I  know,  are  much 
employed  in  visiting — and  shall  not  man  be  so? 
Are  we  to  belong  to  their  society  hereafter, 
and  yet  not  be  their  associates?  Are  we  to 
associate  with  them,  and  yet  remain  solitaries? 
Could  such  a  thing  be?  Is  not  man,  here  and 
hereafter — as  I  have  already  insisted — a  social 
being?  And  if  so,  shall  not  his  social  nature 
and  powers  be  early  and  successfully  devel- 
oped and  cultivated?  Let  our  visits  but  pro- 
mote the  purposes  of  benevolence,  and  nothing 
can,  with  propriety,  be  said  against  them.  I 
would  wage  no  war  on  this  point,  except  with 
selfishness. 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 


MANNERS. 

Miss  Sedgwick  on  Good  Manners.  Her  complaint.  Just 
views  of  good  manners.  Good  manners  the  natural  accom- 
paniment of  a  good  heart.  The  Bible  the  best  book  on 
manners.     Illustrations  of  the  subject. 

Miss  Sedgwick,  in  her  "  Means  and  Ends," 
has  treated  the  subject  of  Manners  in  a  hap- 
pier way  than  any  other  writer  with  whom 
I  am  acquainted.  Perhaps  her  views  are 
already  familiar  to  most  of  my  readers;  but 
lest  they  should  not  be  so,  and  on  account  of 
their  excellency,  I  propose  to  give  a  brief  ab- 
stract of  some  of  them. 

She  complains,  in  the  first  place,  that  man- 
ners are  too  often  considered  as  certain  forms 
to  be  taught,  or  certain  modes  of  conduct  for 
which  rules  are  to  be  made;  and  observes 
that  some  of  the  Greek  states  maintained  pro- 
fessors to  teach  manners;  in  connection  with 
which  she  immediately  adds  the  following  par- 
agraph: 


252  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

"Is  this  making  manners  a  distinct  branch 
of  education  consistent  with  their  nature? 
Are  they  not  the  sign  of  inward  qualities — a 
fitting  expression  of  the  social  virtue?  Are 
they  not  a  mirror  which  often  does,  and 
always  should,  reflect  the  soul?  For  instance, 
is  not  a  person  of  mild  temper,  gentle  in  man- 
ners? Has  not  another  a  bold  and  independ- 
ent disposition,  a  forward  and  fearless  man- 
ner? It  has  been  well  said,  that  real  ele- 
gance of  demeanor  springs  from  the  mind; 
fashionable  schools  do  but  teach  its  imitation." 
Here  she  quotes,  with  apparent  approbation, 
the  views  of  Mr.  Locke.  This  writer,  in 
speaking  of  the  moral  education  of  a  young 
person,  lias  the  following  paragraph: 

"If  qui  bender  mind  be  filled  with  venera- 
tion for  his  parents  and  teachers,  which  con- 
sists in  love  and  esteem,  and  a  fear  to  offend 
them,  and  with  respect  and  good  will  to  all 
people,  that  respect  will  of  itself  teach  those 
waifs  which  he  observes  to  be  most  acceptable." 

Miss  Sedgwick  also  makes  the  following 
judicious  remarks: — 

"  I  pray  you  to  bear  in  mind,  that  manners 
are  but  manifestations  of  character.  I  must 
premise  that  by  manners  I  do  not  mean  the 


MANNERS.  253 

polished  manners  of  the  most  highly  educated 
and  refined  of  other  countries,  nor  the  defe- 
rential subservience  of  their  debased  classes — 
so  pleasing  to  those  who  prefer  the  homage 
to  the  friendship  of  their  fellow  creatures. 

"Manners,  like  every  thing  else  in  one's 
character  and  conduct,  should  be  based  on 
religion.  Honor  all  men,  says  the  apostle. 
This  is  the  spring  of  good  manners.  It 
strikes  at  the  very  root  of  selfishness.  It  is 
the  principle  by  which  we  render  to  all  ranks 
and  ages,  their  due.  A  respect  for  your  fel- 
low beings,  a  reverence  for  them  as  God's 
creatures  and  our  brethren,  will  inspire  that 
delicate  regard  to  their  rights  and  feelings,  of 
which  good  manners  is  the  sign. 

"  If  you  have  truth — not  the  truth  of  policy, 
but  religious  truth — your  manners  will  be 
sincere.  They  will  have  earnestness,  sim- 
plicity and  frankness — the  best  qualities  of 
manners.  They  will  be  free  from  assumption, 
pretence,  affectation,  flattery  and  obsequious- 
ness, which  are  all  incompatible  with  sincerity. 
If  you  have  a  goodly  sincerity,  you  will  choose 
to  appear  no  other  nor  better  than  you  are — 
to  dwell  in  a  true  light." 

I  have  often  insisted  that  the  Bible  contains 
22 


2.34  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

the  only  rules  necessary  in  the  study  of  po- 
liteness— or  in  other  words,  that  those  who 
are  the  real  disciples  of  Christ,  cannot  fail  to 
be  truly  polite.  Nor  have  I  any  reason 
for  recalling  this  opinion,  from  which  that  of 
."Miss  Sedgwick  does  not  materially  differ. 

Not  that  the  same  forms  will  be  observed 
by  every  follower  of  Christ,  in  manifesting  his 
politeness;  all  I  insist  on  is,  that  every  one 
will  be  truly  polite.  Let  me  illustrate  my 
views  in  a  very  plain  manner. 

Suppose  a  wandering  female,  clad  in  the 
meanest  apparel,  calls  at  a  house,  to  inquire 
the  w;iv  t..  tiic  nexl  inn.  having  just  found  the 
r«'a«l  t«>  divide  or  fork  in  a  \er\  doubtful  and 
difficult  manner.  Suppose  there  are  no  males 
in  the  house,  but  only  half  a  dozen  females. 

These,  we  will  also  -uppose,  are  person-  of 
real  piety  and  true  benevolence.  What  does 
true  polit<  ;.'  Be  require  of  them,  but  to  give 
the  stranger,  in  a  gentle  and  affectionate 
manner,  the  neeessary  information? 

But  if  every  one  should  be  ready  to  perform 
the  office  which  true  politeness  would  dictate — 
and  is  consequently  truly  polite — there  would 
probably  be  as  many  ways  of  manifesting  these 
feelings,  as  there  were  individuals  present  in 
the  company. 


MANNERS.  3SOO 

One,  for  example,  will  give  the  stranger  the 
best  directions  she  can  without  leaving  the 
room;  but  will  be  in  all  respects  exceedingly 
particular.  Another  will  go  to  the  door,  and 
there  give  the  same  directions.  A  third  will 
go  with  her  into  the  street,  and  there  instruct 
her.  A  fourth  will  go  with  her  to  the  first  or 
second  fork  of  the  road,  and  there  give  further 
directions.  A  fifth  will  send  a  boy  with  her. 
A  sixth  will  sketch  the  road  plainly,  though 
coarsely,  with  a  pencil,  and  mark,  in  a  proper 
manner,  the  course  she  ought  to  pursue. 
Each  one  will  instruct  her  in  an  intelligent 
manner,  so  that  there  can  hardly  remain  the 
possibility  of  a  mistake;  but  we  see  that 
there  will  be  a  considerable  difference  in  the 
form. 

It  may  be  said  in  reply  to  this  view  of  po- 
liteness, that  there  are  genuine  disciples  of 
Christ,  who,  from  ignorance  of  what  they 
ought  to  do,  or  from  bad  habits  not  yet  sub- 
dued, will  not,  in  such  a  case  as  I  have  de- 
scribed, render  assistance  at  all ;  and  that  they 
cannot,  of  course,  be  truly  polite.  To  which 
I  have  only  to  reply,  that  such  a  thing  can 
hardly  happen;  and  if  it  should,  the  spirit 
of  Christianity   would   not    load   to   it — but   it 


256  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

would  be  the  result,  rather,  of  a  want  of  that 
spirit. 

In  short,  let  the  young  woman  who  would  be 
truly  polite,  take  her  lessons,  not  in  the  school 
of  a  hollow,  heartless  world,  but  in  the  school 
of  Jesus  Christ.  I  know  this  counsel  may  be 
despised  by  the  gay  and  fashionable;  but  it 
will  be  much  easier  to  despise  it  than  to  prove 
it  to  be  incorrect. 

"Always  think  of  the  good  of  the  whole, 
rather  than  of  your  own  individual  conven- 
ience," says  Mrs.  Farrar,  in  her  Young  La- 
dies' Friend:  a  most  excellent  rule,  and  one 
to  which  I  solicit  your  earnest  attention.  She 
who  is  thoroughly  imbued  with  the  gospel 
spirit,  will  not  fail  to  do  so.  It  was  what  our 
Saviour  did  continually;  and  I  have  no  doubt 
that  his  was  the  purest  specimen  of  good  man- 
ners, or  genuine  politeness,  the  world  has  ever 
witnessed — the  politeness  of  Abraham  himself 
not  excepted. 


CHAPTER   XXIV. 


HEALTH  AND  BEAUTY. 

Dr.  Bell's  new  work  on  Health  and  Beauty.  Its  value.  Adam 
and  Eve  probably  very  beautiful.  Primitive  beauty  of  our 
race  to  be  yet  restored.  Sin  the  cause  of  present  ugliness. 
Never  loo  late  to  reform.  Opinion  of  Dr.  Rush.  An  im- 
portant principle.  The  doctrine  of  human  perfectibility 
disavowed.  Various  causes  of  ugliness.  Obedience  to  law, 
natural  and  moral,  the  true  source  of  beauty.  Indecency 
and  immorality  of  neglecting  cleanliness. 

Dr.  Bell,  of  Philadelphia,  whose  reputa- 
tion as  a  medical  man  and  an  author  is  de- 
servedly high,  has  written  a  volume,  as  my 
readers  may  already  know,  entitled,  "  Health 
and  Beauty  " — in  which  he  endeavors  to  show 
that  "  a  pleasing  contour,  symmetry  of  form, 
and  a  graceful  carriage  of  the  body,"  may  be 
acquired,  and  "the  common  deformities  of 
the  spine  and  chest  be  prevented,"  by  a  due 
obedience  to  the  "  laws  of  growth  and  exer- 
cise." These  laws  he  has  endeavored — and 
with  considerable  success — to  present  in  a 
popular  and  intelligible  manner. 
22* 


258  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

Nor  was  the  task  unworthy  of  the  efforts 
and  pen  of  the  gifted  individual  by  whom  it 
was  executed.  Young  women,  of  course,  are 
inclined  to  set  a  high  value  on  beauty  of 
form  and  feature,  as  well  as  to  dread,  more 
than  most  other  persons,  what  they  regard  as 
deformity.  Surely  they  ought  to  be  glad  of  a 
work  like  that  I  have  described. 

I  have  no  wish  to  disparage  beauty;  it  is 
almost  a  virtue.  There  can  hardly  be  a  doubt 
that  Adam  and  Eve  were  exceedingly  beau- 
tiful; nor  that  in  so  far  as  the  world  can  be 
restored  to  its  primitive  state — as  we  hope  it 
may  be  in  its  future  glorious  ages — the  pris- 
tine beauty  of  our  race  will  be  restored. 
It  is  sin,  in  the  largest  sense  of  the  term, 
which  has  distorted  the  human  "face  divine," 
disrobed  it  of  half  its  charms,  and  robbed  the 
whole  frame  of  its  symmetry. 

Does  any  one  ask,  of  what  possible  service 
it  can  be  to  know  these  facts,  when  it  is  too 
late  to  make  use  of  them?  The  truth  is,  it 
can  never  be  too  late.  There  is  no  person  so 
old  that  she  cannot  improve  her  appearance, 
more  or  less,  if  she  will  but  take  the  appro- 
priate steps.  I  do  not,  of  course,  mean  to 
say,  that  at  twenty  or  thirty  years  of  age  she 


HEALTH    AND    BEAUTY.  259 

can  greatly  alter  the  contour  of  the  face,  or 
the  symmetry  of  the  frame;  though  I  believe 
something  can  be  done,  even  in  these  respects. 
It  was  the  saying  of  Dr.  Rush,  that  husbands 
and  wives  who  live  happily  together,  always 
come  to  resemble  one  another  more  and  more, 
in  their  very  features;  and  he  accounted  for 
it  on  the  principle  of  an  increased  resem- 
blance in  their  feelings,  tastes  or  dispositions. 
And  there  arc  probably  tew  who  have  not  ob- 
served how  much  bad  passions  and  bad  habits 
distort  the  features  of  every  body,  at  every 
age.  Then  why  should  not  Dr.  Rush  be 
right ;  and  why  should  not  good  feelings  and 
good  affections  change  the  countenance,  in  a 
greater  or  less  degree,  as  well  as  bad  ones? 
And  what  reason,  then,  can  be  given  why 
every  young  woman — certainly  those  who  are 
far  down  in  the  column  of  teens — cannot 
change  her  countenance  for  the  better,  if  she 
will  fake  the  necessary  pains  for  it? 

That  she  can  do  but  little,  is  no  reason  why 
that  little  should  not  be  done.  The  very  con- 
sideration that  she  can  do  but  little,  enhances 
the  importance  of  doing  what  she  can.  Let 
her  remember  this.  Would  that  the  principle 
were    universally    remembered    and    applied! 


260  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

Would  that  it  were  generally  believed — and 
the  belief  acted  upon — that  the  latter  day 
glory  of  the  world  is  to  be  brought  about  in 
no  other  way  than  by  having  every  individual 
of  every  generation,  through  a  long  series  of 
generations,  do  all  in  his  power,  aided  by 
wisdom  and  strength  from  on  high,  to  hasten  it. 

Do  not  suppose  that  I  entertain  the  belief, 
as  foolish  as  it  is  absurd,  that  in  any  future 
glorious  period  of  the  world's  history,  mankind 
will  be  perfectly  beautiful,  or  perfectly  con- 
formed to  one  standard  of  beauty.  I  enter- 
tain no  belief  in  human  perfectibility.  I  be- 
lieve— and  I  wish  to  state  this  belief  once  for 
all,  that  I  may  not  be  misunderstood — that  we 
are  destined,  if  we  are  wise,  to  approach  per- 
fection forever.,  without  the  possibility  of  ever 
attaining  to  it; — to  any  perfection,  I  mean, 
which  is  absolute  and  unqualified. 

Nor  do  I  believe  that  all  mankind  will  ever 
become  perfectly  beautiful,  according  to  any 
particular  standard  of  beauty.  This  were  nei- 
ther useful  nor  desirable.  There  will  probably 
be  as  great  a  variety  of  features,  and  possibly, 
too,  of  size  and  symmetry,  in  the  day  of  mil- 
lennial glory,  as  there  is  now. 

What  I  believe,  is  this.     That  in   falling, 


HEALTH    AND    BEAUTY.  2G 1 

with  our  first  parents,  we  fall  physically  as 
well  as  morally;  and  that  our  physical  de- 
parture from  truth  is  almost  as  wide  as  our 
moral.  I  suppose  all  the  ugliness  of  the 
young — not,  of  course,  all  their  variety  of 
feature  or  complexion,  but  all  which  consti- 
tutes real  ugliness  of  appearance — comes  di- 
rectly or  indirectly  from  the  transgression  of 
God's  laws,  natural  or  moral;  and  can  only 
be  restored  by  obedience  to  those  laws  by 
the  transgression  of  which  it  came. 

It  is  not  tight  dressing  alone  which  spoils 
the  shape;  but  improper  exercise,  neglect  of 
exercise,,  over  exercise — and  a  thousand  other 
things,  also.  Nor  is  it  the  application  of  rouge 
alone,  which  spoils  the  beauty.  There  are  a 
thousand  physical  transgressions  that  dim  the 
lustre  of  the  eye,  or  sink  it  too  deep  in  the 
socket,  or  flatten  it,  or  paint  a  circle  round  it. 
So  of  the  face  in  general.  There  are  a  thou- 
sand forms  of  transgression  that  take  away 
the  carnation  of  the  lip  and  cheek,  and  leave 
unnatural  hues,  not  to  say  pimples  and  fur- 
rows, in  its  stead. 

I  might  be  much  more  particular.  I  might 
show  how  every  physical  transgression — every 
broach  of  that  part  of  the  natural  law  which 


262  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

imposes  on  us  the  duty  of  proper  attention  to 
cleanliness,  exercise,  dress,  air,  temperature, 
eating,  drinking,  sleeping,  Stc. — mars,  in  a 
greater  or  less  degree,  our  beauty.  Such  a 
disclosure  might  be  startling;  but  it  ought  to 
be  made.  Dr.  Bell,  in  the  volume  mentioned, 
has  led  the  way;  and  his  work  entitles  him  to 
a  high  place  among  the  benefactors  of  our 
race.  But  he  has  only  begun  the  work;  the 
important  honor  of  completing  it,  remains  to 
him,  or  to  some  of  his  countrymen. 

But  enough  on  this  subject,  for  the  present, 
if  I  have  convinced  the  reader  whence  her 
help,  in  this  respect,  is  to  come; — if  I  have 
convinced  her  that,  under  God,  she  is  to 
restore  her  beauty  only  by  becoming  a  true 
christian;  by  having  her  whole  being — body, 
intellect  and  affections — brought  into  subjec- 
tion to  divine  law,  especially  by  a  prompt,  and 
minute,  and  thorough  obedience  to  all  the 
laws  of  health  and  life,  as  far  as  she  under- 
stands them — and  by  diligent  effort  to  under- 
stand them  better  and  better,  as  long  as  she 
lives;  and,  lastly,  by  the  smiles  of  Almighty 
God  upon  her  labors  and  efforts. 


CHAPTER  XXV. 


NEATNESS   AND  CLEANLINESS. 

Reasons  for  discussing  these  topics.  Every  person  should 
undergo  a  thorough  ablution  once  a  day.  Quotation  from 
Mrs.  Farrar.  Two  important  objects  gained  by  cold  bath- 
ing. Its  value  as  an  exercise.  Various  forms  of  bathing. 
Philosophy  of  this  subject.  Vast  amount  of  dirt  accumu- 
lating on  the  surface.  Statement  of  Mr.  Buckingham. 
Bathing  necessary  in  all  employments.  Offices  of  the  skin, 
and  evil  consequences  of  keeping  it  in  an  uncleanly  con- 
dition. 

After  saying  so  much  of  the  general  im- 
portance of  obeying-  the  laws  of  life  and 
health,  it  seems,  at  first  view,  almost  unne- 
cessary to  go  farther  into  particulars  than  I 
have  already  done.  And  yet,  I  feel  some- 
what inclined  to  do  so,  for  two  reasons.  First, 
because  I  find  several  considerable  errors  in 
the  advice  given  to  young  women  in  some  of 
our  young  women's  books,  in  matters  per- 
taining to  their  physical  improvement,  which  I 
should  rejoice  to  be  able  to  correct.   Secondly, 


264  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

because,  that  in  a  work  like  this,  information 
of  this  sort  will  be  very  properly  expected. 

And  yet  it  seems  quite  common-place  to  ad- 
vise a  young  woman  on  the  subject  of  clean- 
liness in  general;  and  still  more  so,  to  speak 
to  her  on  the  subject  of  personal  neatness. 
A  young  woman  wanting  in  neatness!  Rea- 
soning a  priori,  as  a  Latin  scholar  would  say, 
such  a  thing  seems  hardly  possible. 

Would  that  it  were  so!  Would  that  our 
daughters  and  sisters — the  daughters  and 
sisters  of  America,  especially — were  so  far 
apprized  of  this  indispensable  requisite,  as  to 
need  no  monitor  on  the  subject!  But,  un- 
happily, it  is  not  so.  Very  far  from  it,  on 
the   contrary. 

No  person  in  tolerable  health,  male  or 
female,  seems  to  me  to  be  entitled  to  be  con- 
sidered as  neat — truly  so — who  does  not  wash 
the  surface  of  the  whole  body  in  water,  daily. 
But  are  there  not  multitudes  who  pass  for 
models  of  neatness  and  cleanliness,  who  do  not 
this  work  for  themselves  half  a  dozen  times — 
nay,  once — a  year? 

That  I  may  not  be  regarded  as  wholly  ultra 
on  this  subject,  because  professedly  a  strong 
friend  and  advocate  of  physical  education  and 


NEATNESS    AND    CLEANLINESS.  2G5 

physical  improvement,  I  beg  leave  to  subjoin 
the  following  paragraphs  from  Mrs.  Farrar's 
Young  Ladies'  Friend: 

"Once,  at  least,  in  twenty-four  hours,  the 
•whole  surface  of  the  body  should  be  washed 
in  soap  and  water,  and  receive  the  friction  of 
a  coarse  towel,  or  flesh  brush,  or  crash  mitten. 
This  may  be  done  by  warm  or  cold  bathing; 
by  a  plunging  or  shower  bath;  by  means  of  a 
common  wash  tub ;  and  even  without  further 
preparation  than  an  ordinary  wash-bowl  and 
sponge. 

"  By  washing  a  small  part  of  the  person  at 
a  time,  rubbing  it  well,  and  then  covering 
what  is  done,  the  whole  may  be  washed  in 
cold  water,  even  in  winter  time;  and  a  glow 
may  be  produced  after  it,  in  a  young  and 
healthy  person. 

"It  is  common  for  persons  who  are  in  the 
habit  of  sponging  over  with  cold  water  every 
morning,  or  of  taking  the  shower  or  plunging 
bath,  to  omit  it  when  they  have  a  slight  cold, 
or  sore  throat,  or  a  touch  of  rheumatism; 
whereas,  if  it  were  properly  done  so  as  to  pro- 
duce a  glow  all  over  the  skin,  their  habitual 
ablutions  would  be  the  best  remedy  for  the 
beginnings  of  evil.  #  *  *  *  If  not  sure, 
23 


266  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

in  such  a  case,  of  producing  a  glow  after  the 
use  of  the  cold  water,  it  will  be  better  to  use 
the  warm,  in  order  to  make  the  skin  do  its 
office  freely.  But  to  cease  your  customary 
bathing  at  such  times,  is  to  increase  all  your 
difficulties. 

"Many  think  it  impossible  to  make  this 
thorough  washing  when  the  weather  is  very 
cold,  and  they  must  do  it  in  rooms  never 
warmed  by  a  fire;  but  in  healthy  and  vigo- 
rous persons,  the  glow  after  washing  would  be 
so  great,  as  to  more  than  compensate  for  the 
momentary  chill." 

By  washing  the  body  in  cold  water  every 
day,  and  following  it  by  friction,  according  to 
the  recommendation  of  Mrs.  F.,  you  gain,  at 
once,  two  important  objects.  You  secure  to 
yourself  the  benefits  of  cleanliness,  and  of 
a  vast  amount  of  exercise,  and  consequent 
vigor.  I  say  a  vast  amount;  but  this  depends 
much  on  yourself.  You  may  make  a  great 
deal  of  it,  or  only  a  little.  I  know  of  one 
teacher  who  says  his  cold  bath  and  friction 
are  worth  two  hours  of  ordinary  exercise  to 
him  every  day.  But  two  hours  of  ordinary 
exercise  a  day,  is  much  more  than  is  taken  by 
some  of  our  young  women. 

I    have  spoken  of  the  vigor  derived  from 


NEATNESS  AND  CLEANLINESS.      267 

cold  bathing.  This  is  gained  in  two  ways. 
First,  directly,  by  the  action  of  the  muscles  or 
moving  powers,  which  I  have  partially  dc- 
BCribed  in  the  chapter  on  Exercise.  Secondly, 
indirectly,  through  the  medium  of  sympathy. 
I  know  of  no  one  thing  which  costs  so  little 
time  and  effort — (for  the  work  may  he  done 
after  it  has  become  natural  and  habitual,  in 
twelve  or  fifteen  minutes) — which  secures,  at 
the  same  time,  such  an  amount  of  exercise 
and  bodily  vigor,  as  daily  cold  bathing. 

The  particular  forms  of  bathing  are  nu- 
merous. Among  these,  are  the  simple  wash- 
ing with  the  hand,  spoken  of  by  Mrs.  Far- 
rar;  sponging;  immersion  in  a  tub  or  stream; 
and  the  shower  bath.  All  these,  except,  of 
course,  washing  in  a  stream,  may  be  done 
with  cold,  tepid,  warm  or  hot  water;  and  may 
be  continued  for  a  greater  or  less  time — 
although,  in  general,  the  cold  bath  should  be 
a  quick  operation. 

Let  me  now  present  the  reader  with  a  phy- 
siological explanation  of  the  use  and  necessity 
of  frequent  ablution  and  bathing;  derived,  in 
substance,  from  a  little  tract  already  before 
the  public*     I  use  the  language  of  the  tract, 


Sec  "  Tiioug-'.ns  on  Bathing,"  posjo  C. 


268 


THE    YOUNG    WOMAN  S    GUIDE. 


because  I  can  use  none  which  is  better  for  my 
present  purpose. 

The  dust  accumulates  on  the  surface  of  our 
bodies  much  more  readily,  and  adheres  much 
more  firmly,  and  in  much  larger  quantities, 
than  is  usually  supposed,  and  than  by  many 
would  be  credited.  Mr.  Buckingham,  the  Ori- 
ental traveller,  asserts  that  from  two  to  three 
pounds  of  it  are  sometimes  removed  from  the 
whole  surface  of  a  person,  who  has  for  some 
time  neglected  bathing  and  washing,  in  a  tro- 
pical climate;  and  this,  under  some  circum- 
stances, may  possibly  have  been  the  case. 
For  not  only  does  the  moisture  of  the  skin 
favor  its  accumulation,  but  so  also  does  the 
oily  substance  continually  poured  out  by  the 
small  bottle-shaped  glands — sebaceous  glands, 
as  they  are  called — which  are  found  in  the 
skin  in  great  numbers,  with  their  mouths 
opening  on  its  surface. 

Nothing,  indeed,  can  be  more  obvious  to 
an  enlightened  and  reflecting  mind,  than  the 
indispensable  necessity  of  frequent  ablutions 
of  the  body,  in  some  form  or  other.  It  will, 
indeed,  be  said — it  is  often  said — that  much 
depends,  in  this  respect,  upon  the  nature  of 
our  occupation.     The  farmer,  the  smith,  the 


NEATNESS  AND  CLEANLINESS.      269 

manufacturer — the  individual,  in  one  word, 
whose  employment  is  most  uncleanly — will  be 
thought  to  need  frequent  attentions  of  this 
kind,  while  those  whose  employments  are 
quiet  and  sedentary,  will  need  them  less  fre- 
quently. 

But  it  should  not  be  forgotten,  that  although 
frequent  bathing  and  cleansing  are  indispen- 
sable to  those  whose  employments  expose  them 
to  a  great  deal  of  dust,  yet  they  are  scarcely 
less  necessary  to  the  sedentary;  and  for  the 
following  reason: — The  active  nature  of  the 
employments  of  the  former,  and  their  exposure 
to  the  open  air,  break  up  the  coating  of  oil 
and  dirt  with  which  they  are  enveloped,  and 
render  it  more  pervious  to  the  matter  of  per- 
spiration, than  the  thinner,  but  not  less  tena- 
cious varnish  which  covers  the  surface  of  the 
sedentary.  On  the  whole,  therefore,  I  regard 
bathing  and  thorough  cleansing  of  the  skin,  as 
of  nearly  equal  importance  in  all  the  varied 
circumstances  of  age,  sex,  climate  and  occu- 
pation. 

We  must  not  omit  to  observe,  that  whatever 

changes  take  place  in  the  lungs,  by  the  action 

of  the  air  upon  the  blood  in  the  small  vessels 

of  those  organs,  to  purify  and  renovate  it,  take 

23* 


270  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

place  also  all  over  the  surface  of  the  body; 
that  in  this  respect,  therefore,  the  skin  may 
be  regarded  as  a  sort  of  appendage  to  the 
lungs;  and  that  if  the  skin  be  varnished  over 
with  a  mixture  of  oil  and  dust,  so  that  it  can- 
not perform  its  office,  an  unreasonable  burden 
will  be  thrown  upon  the  lungs,  which  will 
thereby  be  weakened,  and  predisposed  to  dis- 
ease. I  have  not  a  doubt,  that  an  universal 
neglect  of  cleanliness  not  only  favors,  in  this 
way,  the  production  of  lung  diseases — espe- 
cially of  those  colds  which  are  so  frequent  in 
our  climate,  and  which  often  pave  the  way  for 
other  and  still  more  dangerous  diseases — but 
also  that  it  tends  to  aggravate  such  diseases 
of  the  lungs  as  may  already  exist,  or  to  whose 
existence  there  may  be  in  us — either  by  in- 
heritance or  otherwise — a  predisposition. 

This  temporary  suspension  of  the  offices  of 
the  skin,  is,  however,  peculiarly  dangerous  to 
those  who  are  of  light  complexion,  slender 
form,  with  a  long  neck,  and  narrow  shoulders 
projecting  almost  like  wings — indicating  a 
chest  whose  internal  organs,  as  well  as  exter- 
nal dimensions,  are  comparatively  small  and 
feeble,  and  therefore  poorly  prepared  to  do 
that    work    which    belongs  to  other    parts  or 


NEATNESS  AND  CLEANLINESS.      271 

organs.  Let  all  persons  beware  of  compel- 
ling the  lungs  io  work  for  the  skin;  but  above 
all,  those  who  have  the  particular  structure  to 
which  I  have  alluded. 

It  is  hardly  necessary  that  I  should  advert, 
here,  to  the  repugnance  felt  by  our  sex,  to 
those  young  women  whose  external  appear- 
ance bespeaks  a  want  of  attention  to  this  sub- 
ject. But  it  is  necessary  that  I  should  barely 
allude  to  the  indecency  of  a  great  degree  of 
neglect — which  is  by  no  means  uncommon — 
in  those  cases  where  the  odor  of  the  perspi- 
ration is  naturally  very  disagreeable,  without 
its  disagreeableness  being  increased  by  long 
neglected  accumulations  of  grease  and  dirt  on 
the  skin. 

They  should  also  be  reminded  that  there  is, 
somehow  or  other,  (I  know  not  how,  exactly,) 
a  very  general  connection  between  external 
and  internal  purity.  It  is  exceedingly  uncom- 
mon— I  had  almost  said,  quite  so — to  find  an 
individual  who  pays  a  daily  close  attention  to 
neatness  and  cleanliness  of  person  and  dress, 
who  does  not,  at  the  same  time,  possess  a 
reputation  which  is  not  only  above  reproach, 
but  also  quite  above  suspicion. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 


DRESS  AND  ORNAMENT. 

Legitimate  purposes  of  dress — as  a  covering-,  a  regulator  of 
temperature,  and  a  defence.  Use  of  ornaments.  Further 
thoughts  on  dress.  How  clothing  keeps  us  warm.  Errors 
in  regard  to  the  material,  quality,  and  form  of  our  dress. 
Tight  lacing — its  numerous  evils.  Improvement  of  the 
lungs,  by  education.  Objections  to  the  use  of  personal 
ornaments. 

When  we  remember  that  the  threefold  ob- 
ject of  dress  is  to  cover,  warm  and  defend  us, 
and  that  the  kind  and  quantity  of  dress  which 
best  does  this,  is  most  conducive  to  our  own 
and  the  public  good,  as  well  as  to  the  glory 
of  God,  we  are  led,  very  naturally,  to  the  fol- 
lowing reflections: 

1.  We  have  no  right  to  use  that  kind  of 
dress  which  does  not  answer  well  the  purpose 
of  a  covering,  so  long  as  we  can  lawfully 
obtain  that  which  would  better  do  it.  All 
fashions,  moreover,  which  tend  to  remind  the 
beholder  that  our  dress  is  designed  as  a  cov- 


PRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  273 

eringt  are  as  improper  as  those  which  do  not 
effectually  cover  us. 

And  here  let  me  say,  with  sufficient  plain- 
ness, that  there  are  such  fashions  in  exist- 
ence; and  that  they  ought  to  he  shunned  like 
the  plague.  Does  not  the  world  in  which  we 
live,  contain  sources  enough  of  temptation, 
and  avenues  enough  to  vice,  seduction  and 
misery,  without  increasing  their  numher  by 
our  dress?* 

I  need  to  specify  but  one  fashion  in  the  list 
of  those  to  which  I  refer.  It  is  the  fashion  of 
exposing  the  neck  and  a  part  of  the  chest.  I 
could  tell  young  women,  that  were  health  en- 
tirely out  of  the  question,  it  would  be  wisdom 
to  remove  this  dangerous  custom.  A  word  to 
the  wise — to  adopt  the  language  of  Solomon — 
is  sufficient.  May  it  prove  so,  in  the  present 
instance.     Let  not  the  young  of  the  other  sex, 

*  I  cannot  refrain  from  saying-,  in  this  place,  that  since  I 
wrote  the  above  paragraph,  I  have  received  an  excellent 
letter  from  a  worthy  minister  of  the  gospel,  on  the  subject  of 
female  dress,  which,  besides  greatly  confirming  the  views  I 
have  expressed  in  this  chapter,  suggests  the  importance  of 
having  a  standard  dress  devised — to  be  formed  on  christian 
principles,  and  made  fashionable  by  christian  example.  A 
wise  suggestion  :  would  that  it  could  be  attended  to.  Young 
women,  it  is  yours  to  put  in  operation  so  excellent  a  means  of 
moral  improvement. 


274  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

miseducated  as  they  now  are,  and  the  slaves 
of  improper  imaginations  and  feelings,  be 
longer  trifled  with  in  this  matter. 

2.  We  have  no  right  to  use  any  articles  of 
clothing — when  we  have  it  in  our  power,  by 
lawful  means,  to  prevent  it — whose  tendency 
is  directly  contrary  to  what  has  been  laid 
down    as  the   second   great    object  of  dress, 

that  Of  ASSISTING  TO  KEEP  OUR  BODIES  AT  A 
PROPER    TEMPERATURE. 

It  would  be  idle  to  pretend  that  clothing, 
in  itself  considered,  is  a  source  of  warmth  to 
our  bodies.  It  is  only  so,  by  the  relation  it 
bears  to  our  bodies;  or,  in  other  words,  by 
the  circumstances  in  which  it  is  placed.  Our 
own  bodies — their  internal,  living  machinery, 
rather — are  the  principal  sources  of  our  heat. 
Clothing  is  useful  in  keeping  us  warm,  only 
by  retaining,  for  some  time,  a  portion  of  the 
heat  of  our  bodies,  which  would  otherwise  es- 
cape so  rapidly  into  the  ambient  cooler  air,  as 
to  leave  us  with  a  sensation  of  chilliness.  It 
should,  therefore,  be  adapted  to  the  season. 
That  clothing  which  conducts  the  heat  from 
the  body  in  the  slowest  manner,  or,  in  other 
words,    impedes    most   its    progress,    is   best 


CRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  275 

adapted  to  severe  cold  weather;  provided, 
however,  it  does  not  keep  the  heated  air  in 
contact  with  the  body  so  long  as  to  render  it 
impure.  And,  on  the  contrary,  that  clothing 
which  most  readily  allows  the  heat  to  escape 
from  our  bodies,  is,  in  hot  weather,  the  best 
adapted  to  our  health  and  happiness. 

I  have  said  that  the  internal  machinery  of 
our  bodies  is  the  great  source  of  our  heat. 
Foremost,  perhaps,  in  this  work,  are  the 
lungs,  the  stomach,  the  brain  and  nervous 
system,  and  the  circulatory  system,  including 
the  heart,  arteries,  veins  and  absorbents. 
Our  moving  powers — the  muscles  and  ten- 
dons— have,  indeed,  much  to  do  with  gene- 
rating our  heat;  but  it  is  principally  by  the 
assistance  which  they  render  to  the  digestive, 
the  nutritive,  the  respiratory,  the  circulatory, 
and  the  thinking  machinery.  The  fat  of  our 
bodies  has  also  something  to  do  in  promoting 
our  warmth:  but  it  is  only  on  the  same  prin- 
ciple as  that  by  which  it  is  done  by  our  cloth- 
ing; that  is  to  say,  it  prevents  the  heat  from 
being  conducted  off  too  rapidly. 

All  these  internal  organs — and,  in  fact,  all 
the  living  machinery  of  cur  bodies — have  the 
power  to  generate  heat  and  diffuse  it  over  the 


276  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

system,  in  proportion  to  the  freedom  and  en- 
ergy of  their  action;  or,  to  express  the  same 
idea  in  fewer  words,  in  proportion  to  their 
health. 

But  this  is  not  all.  They  have  not  only 
the  power  of  generating  heat  in  proportion 
to  their  healthiness,  but  also  of  resisting  cold. 
Who  does  not  know  that  the  living  system,  at 
ninety-eight  degrees  of  Fahrenheit,  will  resist 
a  temperature  nearly  one  hundred  and  fifty 
degrees  lower  than  this,  and  yet  for  some 
time  not  freeze?  Perhaps  this  is  done,  how- 
ever, in  the  same  way  in  which  a  more  mode- 
rate amount  of  heat  is  generated.  Perhaps 
the  increased  muscular  and  nervous  energy, 
and  the  increased  activity  of  the  other  organs, 
enable  them  to  generate  heat  as  fast  as  the 
increased  cold  around  carries  it  off. 

But  the  conclusion  I  would  at  present  en- 
force from  these  physiological  premises,  is 
the  following: — That  whenever  our  dress,  by 
means  of  its  material,  form  or  quantity,  has 
a  tendency  to  weaken  our  internal  organs,  or 
any  one  of  them,  and  thus  to  prevent  the  free 
and  energetic  performance  of  their  several 
functions,  it  is  injurious,  and  its  use  is  wrong, 
not  to  say  sinful. 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  277 

This  is  sometimes  done  by  clothing  which 
irritates  and  excites  the  surface  of  the  body 
too  much.  Coarse  flannel  is  more  irritating 
than  any  other  material  in  ordinary  use,  and 
should  therefore  never  be  used  when  a  suf- 
ficient amount  of  bodily  heat  can  be  main- 
tained without  it;  as  its  use  weakens,  in  the 
end,  the  perspiratory,  and  calorific,  and  de- 
purating powers  of  the  skin — for  the  skin  has 
all  these  powers — and  even,  in  some  cases, 
brings  on  eruptive  and  other  diseases.  Fine 
flannel  is  more  irritating  than  cotton;  and  the 
latter,  more  so  than  linen.  Still,  there  are 
multitudes  who  cannot  get  along  without  flan- 
nel, at  some  seasons,  either  coarser  or  finer. 

The  evil  of  which  I  have  spoken  is,  how- 
ever, much  oftencr  induced  by  error  in  regard 
to  the  quantity  of  dress,  than  its  quality.  As 
to  quantity,  we  need  no  more  than  is  just 
necessary,  along  with  healthy  and  vigorous 
exercise,  to  keep  us  from  being  sensibly  cold 
or  chilly.  Any  amount  beyond  this,  be  its 
nature  what  it  may,  is  debilitating,  and  con- 
sequently more  or  less  injurious. 

Flit  the  form  of  our  dress  often  does  injury, 
as  well  as  its  material  and  quantity.  With 
some  classes  of  our  community,  this  is  a 
24 


273  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

greater  evil  than  either  of  the  former;  though 
with  others,  it  is  not. 

AH  forms  of  dress  which  impede  any  kind 
of  motion,  especially  those  which  impede  cir- 
culatory motion,  are  greatly  injurious.  It  is, 
I  suppose,  pretty  well  known,  that  all  parts  of 
the  skin  are  full  of  minute  blood  vessels, 
chiefly  veins;  in  addition  to  which,  there  are 
also  a  great  number  of  veins  still  larger,  im- 
mediately under  the  skin,  and  connected  with 
it,  as  may  be  observed  by  looking  at  the  hands 
or  limbs  of  very  aged  or  very  lean  persons. 
Now  the  tendency  or  course  of  the  blood  in 
all  the  veins,  is  towards  the  heart;  and  this 
course  is  slower  or  more  rapid,  according  as 
the  skin  is  more  or  less  active,  healthy  and 
free.  A  rapid  course  of  the  blood  in  these 
veins,  is  desirable,  because  it  has  become,  in 
the  progress  of  its  circulation,  greatly  impure, 
and  in  the  same  proportion  unfit  to  minister  to 
the  purposes  of  health — and  needs  to  go  on  to 
the  heart,  and  through  that  to  the  lungs,  to 
be  relieved  of  its  load  of  impurities. 

Is  it  not  plain,  then,  that  all  compression 
of  the  skin,  by  cravats,  wristbands,  waistbands, 
belts,  garters,  or  any  other  form  of  ligatures, 
must  be  wrong !  Must  it  not  impede  the  motion 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  279 

of  the  venous  blood  in  its  return  to  the  heart? 
Must  not  even  light  boots,  garters,  stockings, 
&c,  do  this?  Is  it  not  a  task  sufficiently 
difficult  tor  the  blood  to  climb  from  the  feet 
to  the  heart,  directly  against  the  power  of 
gravity,  without  being  impeded,  in  its  course, 
by  compression  of  any  sort — and  above  all,  by 
ligatures? 

But  if  these  every-day  compressions  of  the 
surface  of  our  bodies  are  so  injurious,  what 
are  we  to  say  of  the  practice  of  many  females, 
and  of  most  young  women — at  least,  in  fashion- 
able life — of  compressing  the  chest? 

For  in  compressing  this  part  of  the  frame, 
though  we  do  not  impede  the  action  of  so 
much  blood  in  its  return  to  the  heart  as  might 
be  supposed,  we  do  a  great  deal  more  injury 
in  many  other  respects  than  is  usually  known. 
I  must  advert  to  the  various  items  of  this 
injury. 

First — compressing  the  chest,  by  dress  or 
otherwise,  prevents  free  motion  of  the  trunk 
of  the  body.  We  can  indeed  bend  the  body  a 
little,  notwithstanding  the  compression;  but 
not  so  freely,  and  not  therefore  so  healthfully. 

Secondly — compression  of  the  chest  pre- 
vents the  lungs  and  heart — the  principal  organs 


280  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

wholly  contained  in  its  cavity — from  expand- 
ing, and  doing  their  work  in  a  proper  manner. 
If  there  were  no  compression  by  ligatures  or 
otherwise,  of  any  other  part  of  the  system, 
and  if  the  impure  blood  came  back  to  the 
lungs  for  renovation  as  fast  as  it  ought,  still 
it  would  not  be  properly  depurated  or  reno- 
vated, unless  the  lungs  acted  in  a  full,  healthy 
and  vigorous  manner.  But  this  they  cannot 
do,  unless  the  chest  is  left  free  from  external 
compression.  Their  internal  expansion  and 
enlargement  is  limited  by  the  external,  much 
in  the  same  way  as  the  space  in  a  bellows  is 
limited  or  extended  according  as  the  bellows 
itself  is  expanded  or  compressed. 

If  the  muscles  concerned  in  moving  the 
chest — near  a  hundred  in  number — do  not 
properly  act;  if  the  breast-bone,  when  we 
inhale  air,  is  not  thrown  forward,  and  the  ribs 
thrown  outward  and  upward  so  as  to  increase, 
very  greatly,  the  size  of  the  internal  cavity; 
then  the  venous  blood  which  is  brought  into 
the  lungs  to  be  purified  and  cleansed,  cannot 
— I  repeat  it — be  purified  and  cleansed  as  it 
ought  to  be;  and  the  whole  system  must  suffer 
the  consequences,  in  being  fed  and  nourished 
on  impure,  and  I  might  say  poisonous,  blood. 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  281 

This  is  the  case  when  the  lungs  are  com- 
pressed during  a  single  breath:  how  great, 
then,  is  the  evil,  when  the  compression  con- 
tinues an  hour — during  which  period  we  pro- 
bably breathe  ten  or  twelve  hundred  times! 
How  much  greater  still,  when  it  is  continued 
through  the  waking  hours  of  a  day — say  fif- 
teen or  sixteen — in  which  period  we  breathe 
nearly  twenty  thousand  times — and  a  young 
woman  of  twelve  to  fifteen  years  of  age, 
probably  more!  But  think  of  the  evil  as 
extended  to  a  year,  or  three  hundred  and 
sixty-live  days! — or  to  a  whole  life  of  thirty, 
fifty  or  seventy  years! 

How  much  poisoned  blood  must  go  through 
the  living  system  in  sixty  or  seventy  years, 
should  the  injured  system  last  so  long!  And 
how  many  bad  feelings,  and  how  much  severe 
pain  and  suffering,  and  chronic  and  acute  dis- 
ease, must  almost  inevitably  be  undergone! 

Thirdly — this  poisoning  of  the  blood,  how- 
ever, is  not  all.  The  chest,  so  constantly 
compressed,  even  if  the  compression  is  not 
begun  in  early  infancy,  shrinks  to  a  much 
smaller  size  than  is  natural — and  in  a  few 
years  becomes  incapable  of  holding  more  than 
half  or  two  thirds  as  much  air  as  before;  so 
24* 


282  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

that  if  the  compression  is  removed,  the  injury 
cannot  be  wholly  restored — though  if  removed 
any  time  before  thirty-live  years  of  age,  some- 
thing may  be  done  towards  restoration.  But 
not  only  is  the  cavity  diminished  permanently 
in  size ;  the  bones  and  tendons  are  bent  out  of 
their  place,  and  made  to  compress  either  the 
lungs  themselves,  or  the  other  contiguous 
organs — as  the  heart,  the  liver  and  the  stom- 
ach— and  to  disturb  the  proper  performance 
of  their  respective  offices  or  functions. 

Fourthly — tight  lacing,  as  I  have  already 
said,  compresses  the  heart  as  well  as  the 
lungs,  and  impedes  the  motion  of  this  impor- 
tant organ.  The  suffering  and  disease  which 
are  thus  entailed  on  transgression,  if  not 
quite  so  great  in  amount  as  that  which  is 
induced  by  the  abuse  of  the  lungs,  is  yet  very 
great — and  added  to  the  former,  greatly 
diminishes  the  sum  total  of  human  happiness, 
and  increases,  in  the  same  proportion,  its 
miseries  and  its  woes. 

Fifthly — the  stomach  is  also  a  sufferer — and 
the  liver;  and,  indeed,  all  the  other  organs. 
There  is  suffering,  not  only  from  being  in 
actual  contact  with  each  other,  but  also  from 
sympathy  and  fellow  feeling.     I  have  already 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  283 

adverted  to  that  law,  by  which,  if  one  member 
or  organ  of  the  human  system  suffer,  all  the 
others  suffer  with  it.  This  is  very  remarkably 
the  case  with  the  lungs,  when  they  suffer. 
Other  organs  suffer  with  them  from  mere 
sympathy;  and  that  to  a  very  great  extent. 
This  is  especially  true  of  the  cerebral  and 
nervous  system;  and  of  that  portion  of  the 
general  system  which  gives  to  woman  her  pe- 
culiar prerogative,  as  well  as  her  distinctive 
character. 

Let  no  young  woman  forget,  moreover, 
that  she  lives,  not  for  herself  alone,  but  for 
others;  .and  that  if  she  injures  health  and  life 
by  improper  dress,  she  does  it  not  for  herself 
alone,  but  for  all  those  who  shelter  their 
abuses  under  her  example,  as  well  as  for  all 
those  who  may  hereafter  be  more  immediately 
influenced  by  her  present  conduct.  Let  her 
neither  forget  her  responsibility  nor  her  ac- 
countability. Would  to  God  that  she  could 
see  this  matter  as  it  truly  is,  and  as  she  will 
be  likely  to  see  it  in  years  to  come! 

Let  it  be  remembered,  moreover,  that  as 
we  can  diminish  the  size  of  the  chest  by  com- 
pressing it,  so  we  can  enlarge  it,  gradually — 
especially  in  early  life — by  extra  effort;  or  by 


284 


general  exercise;  but  especially  such  general 
exercise  as  I  have  mentioned  in  a  former 
chapter — I  mean,  moderate  labor  in  the  garden 
or  in  the  field,  and  in  house-keeping.  Nor  is 
spinning  on  a  high  wheel — which  requires  not 
only  walking  to  and  fro,  but  also  considerable 
motion  of  the  arms  and  chest — a  very  bad 
exercise.  A  great  deal  may  also  be  done  by 
reading  aloud  in  a  proper  manner,  and  by 
conversation;   and  especially  by  singing. 

I  believe  that  by  a  proper  education  of  the 
lungs — instead  of  the  modern  custom  of  un- 
educating  them — it  would  be  possible,  in  the 
course  of  a  few  successive  ages,  greatly  to 
enlarge  the  cavity  containing  them.  And  if 
this  can  be  done,  it  will  be  a  means  of  pro- 
moting, in  tfre  same  degree,  the  tone  and 
vigor,  not  only  of  the  lungs  themselves,  but 
also  of  the  whole  physical  frame ;  and  the  ag- 
gregate gain  to  our  race  would  be  immense. 
Let  us  think  of  the  amazing  difference  be- 
tween a  race  which  has  been  deteriorating  in 
body  and  mind,  from  generation  to  generation, 
and  at  the  same  time  suffering  from  disease  in 
a  thousand  forms,  and  one  which  is  not  only 
free  from  primitive  disease,  but  gradually  im- 
proving, both  bodily  and  mentally,  and  in  a 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  285 

fair  way  to  go  on  improving  for  centuries — 
perhaps  thousands  of  years — to  come! 

3.  We  have  no  right  to  use  that  dress  as  a 
defence,  winch  does  not  answer  this  purpose, 
so  long  as  we  can  get  that  which  does;  pro- 
vided it  answers  neither  of  the  other  two 
purposes  already  mentioned. 

Now,  are  there  not  a  great  number  of  arti- 
cles of  clothing  worn,  whose  use  cannot  be 
justified  on  these  principles?  Does  not  the 
greater  part  of  human  time  and  labor  which  is 
expended  on  dress,  both  by  the  maker  and 
the  wearer,  go  to  answer  other  purposes  than 
these?  Is  it  not  expended  for  mere  orna- 
ment?    And  is  such  an  expenditure  right? 

My  own  conviction  is,  that  we  are  bound, 
as  christians — and  as  such,  I  must  consider 
my  readers  in  this  favored  country — to  use 
that  dress,  and  that  alone,  which  answers  the 
great  purposes  of  dress;  and  that  were  the 
subject  viewed  in  its  true  and  just  light,  all 
beyond  this  should  be  regarded  as  sinful. 
What  I  suppose  these  great  purposes  of  dress 
are,  has  now  been  told  you. 

In  short — to  repeat  what  has  been  already 
repeated — I  suppose  that  our  duty  is,  to  dress 


286  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

in  such  a  way,  if  our  circumstances  permit 
it,  as  will  be  best  for  the  purposes  of  merely 
clothing,  tempering  and  defending  our  bodies. 
That  material,  that  quantity,  and  those  forms 
of  dress,  which  we  suppose  best  accomplish 
this,  should  be  adopted  as  fast  as  they  are 
known. 

Such  a  view  will,  of  course,  be  opposed  by 
the  devotees  of  fashion;  but  not,  I  think,  by 
many  of  those  who  know  they  cannot  serve 
two  masters — God  and  mammon,  or  God  and 
the  fashions — and  that  it  is  their  duty  to  devote 
themselves,  unreservedly,  to  the  worship  and 
service  of  the  former. 

I  shall  also  be  opposed  by  another  class — 
the  devotees  of  utility,  or  a  species  of  what 
I  call  utilitarianism.  They  will  say  that  I  am 
a  utilitarian,  of  the  rankest  sort;  that  I  would 
destroy  all  just  taste,  all  industry,  all  division 
of  labor,  all  commerce,  and  all  wealth. 

But  is  it  so?  Is  that  proved  to  be  a  just 
taste  to  which  the  views  here  presented, 
seem  to  be  opposed?  Where  is  the  proof, 
and  by  whom  has  it  been  adduced?  I  am  no 
advocate  for  a  utilitarianism  which  excludes 
just  taste:  but  J  believe  our  tastes  to-  be  de- 
praved by  Ike  fall,  no  less  than  our  affections; 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  287 

that  they  are  not,  as  some  suppose,  free  from 
sin — though  less  sinful,  perhaps,  than  our 
moral  tastes  and  preferences.  I  believe  that 
a  taste  which  is  not  conformed  to  the  nature  of 
things  and  to  the  law  of  God,  is  a  perverted 
taste;  and  that  the  modern  taste  in  regard  to 
dress  and  ornament,  is,  to  a  great  extent,  of 
this  description. 

But  does  there  remain  no  room  for  industry 
when  personal  ornaments  arc  excluded?  As 
well  might  it  be  said  that  the  exclusion  of  all 
drinks  but  water,  would  strike  a  death-blow  at 
industry.  Is  there  nothing  left  for  people  to 
do,  because  you  take  away  ornament? 

Perhaps,  indeed,  if  all  personal  ornament 
were  to  be  taken  away  suddenly,  it  might  give 
a  temporary  check  to  industry,  and  seem  to 
conflict  with  the  principle  of  a  division  of 
labor.  But  this  cannot  happen,  except  it 
were  by  miraculous  agency.  The  utmost  that 
can  be  rationally  expected  at  present  by 
the  most  sanguine,  would  be,  that  professing 
christians  should  exclude  it;  nor  could  they, 
as  a  body,  be  expected  to  do  it  at  once.  One 
here,  and  another  there,  would  renounce,  as 
wrong,  what  he  had  been  accustomed  to  think 
right  ;    and   this  would  give   society  time  to 


288  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

adjust  itself,  and  preserve  its  balance;  as  it 
has  done  in  the  case  of  every  great  and  im- 
portant change  of  public  opinion. 

But  we  are  gravely  told  by  several  writers 
on  this  subject,  that  as  a  nation's  wealth  is 
derived  from  a  division  of  labor,  it  follows,  that 
to  deny  ourselves  all  ornament,  would  be  a 
great  injury  to  the  community. 

What  a  strange  inference !  Is  there  nothing 
for  people  to  do,  in  this  world,  we  again  ask, 
but  to  make  ornaments?  Or  can  it  be,  that 
they  form  so  important  a  division  of  human 
labor,  that  to  dispense  with  them  in  the  only 
way  in  which  it  is  possible,  humanly  speaking, 
to  do  so — that  is,  by  enlightening  public  opin- 
ion, and  appealing  to  the  conscientious — is  to 
take  away  the  wealth  of  the  nation? 

I  deny,  most  resolutely,  that  mere  artificial 
ornaments  make  any  considerable  part  of  a  na- 
tion's real  wealth.  That  which  tends  to  make 
us  healthier,  in  all  the  functions  of  our  bodies — 
which  developes  and  improves  all  the  faculties 
of  our  minds — and  which  developes  and  culti- 
vates, to  the  highest  possible  extent,  all  the 
good  affections  of  the  soul — is  alone  worthy  of 
the  name  of  wealth. 

I  do  not  deny,  that  he  who  makes  two  stalks 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  289 

of  grain  grow  where  only  one  grew  before,  13 
a  public  benefactor.  I  do  not  deny  that,  for 
certain  purposes  in  the  arts — in  architecture, 
especially — he  who  polishes  a  gem,  or  a  block 
of  marble,  may  also  be  a  public  benefactor. 
This  is  a  very  different  thing  from  preparing 
and  applying  ornaments  to  our  persons;  and 
may  be,  to  some  extent,  useful.  But  I  am 
still  assured,  that  those  who  make  a  person 
healthier  than  before,  or  improve  his  intellect 
— or  are  a  means  of  awakening  in  him  a  love 
to  God  and  man,  and  of  promoting  its  growth 
where  it  is  already  awakened — are  benefactors 
to  the  world  in  a  degree  infinitely  higher,  and 
add  to  its  true  riches  almost  infinitely  more. 

It  is  health,  knowledge  and  excellence — we 
again  say — which  exalt  a  nation;  and  these 
are  its  true  wealth.  Fifteen  millions  of  free- 
men, all  as  healthy  as  the  most  perfect  speci- 
mens which  could  now  be  found  among  us; 
all  as  wise  as  the  wisest  man  in  the  world; 
and  all  as  virtuous  and  excellent  as  Aristides, 
or  Howard,  or  Benezet,  or  John,  the  beloved 
apostle,  himself;  what  a  national  treasure 
they  would  be!  what  a  revenue  of  true  wealth 
they  would  afford! 

Now,  if  fifteen  millions  of  such  people  would 
25 


290  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

be  a  source  of  national  wealth  before  unheard 
of,  would  not  every  individual  of  this  whole 
number  be  a  source  of  wealth?  And  would 
not  every  element  which  should  go  to  make 
up  the  sum  total  of  the  excellencies  of  each 
individual,  be  a  part  of  this  mighty  treasury? 

If  the  richer  part  of  the  community  have 
money  to  spare,  why  not  spend  it  in  increasing 
the  health,  the  knowledge,  and  the  morality 
of  the  needy  around  them — by  giving  employ- 
ment to  those  who  are  capable  of  promoting 
these  blessings,  and  who  want  employment? 

It  will  be  said,  I  know,  that  the  great 
multitude  of  persons  around  us  are  not  fit 
for  more  elevated  employments.  No;  nor 
will  they  ever  be,  in  any  considerable  num- 
bers, until  they  come  to  be  employed  in  this 
way  much  more  frequently  than  they  now 
are.  Let  there  be  an  urgent  demand  in  the 
market  for  a  commodity,  and  it  usually  soon 
comes  to  be  abundant.  Let  there  be  a  de- 
mand for  laborers  in  the  mental  and  moral 
field — in  this  more  elevated  garden  of  the 
Lord — and  they  will,  ere  long,  be  furnished; 
and  the  more  persons  are  employed  in  this 
way,  and  consequently  come  into  the  habit  of 
fitting  themselves  to  be  thus  employed,  the 
richer  will  be  the  national  treasury. 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  291 

That  many  young  women,  who  read  this 
chapter,  will  wholly  lay  aside  their  ornaments, 
and  fit  themselves,  as  fast  as  possible,  for  the 
noble  purpose  of  ornamenting  those  around 
them,  by  promoting  their  physical,  intellectual 
and  moral  well  being,  can  hardly  be  expected. 
But  I  do  hope  that  I  shall  lead  a  few  to  expend 
less  of  time  and  money  in  dressing  and  orna- 
menting their  persons  than  heretofore — and 
more  in  dressing  and  ornamenting  the  im- 
mortal mind  and  spirit,  as  well  as  more  in 
promoting  health  of  body. 

I  cannot  but  hope  to  live  to  see  the  day, 
when  every  person  who  professes  the  name  of 
Jesus  Christ,  and  not  a  few  who  make  no  pro- 
fessions at  all,  will  entertain  similar  views  in 
regard  to  the  purposes  of  dress  and  their  own 
duty  in  relation  to  it,  to  those  which  I  have 
endeavored  to  inculcate.  Such  a  day  must 
surely  come,  sooner  or  later;  and  I  hope 
that  those  who  believe  this,  will  make  it  their 
great  rule,  to  expend  as  little  on  themselves  as 
possible,  and  yet  answer  the  true  intentions  of 
the  Creator  respecting  themselves. 

There  is  a  very  wide  difference  between 
spending  as  much  as  we  can  on  our  persons — 
in  the  gratification,  I  mean,  of  the  wants  of 


292  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

our  depraved  tastes,  under  the  specious  plea 
that  it  encourages  commerce  and  industry — 
and  spending  as  little  as  we  can  on  ourselves, 
and  as  much  as  possible  in  promoting  the 
health,  the  learning,  and  the  piety  of  those 
around  us.  The  former  has  been  tried  for 
centuries — with  what  result,  let  the  state  of 
society  and  our  misnamed  refinement  bear 
witness.  Let  the  latter  be  tried  but  half  as 
long,  and  the  world  will  be  surprised  at  the 
results — so  unexpected,  so  beneficial,  and  so 
happy. 

Foremost  in  this  work  of  reform,  should  be 
our  millions  of  young  women.  They  should 
be  so  for  two  reasons.  First,  because  their 
influence  and  responsibilities  to  coming  gene- 
rations are  great;  and,  secondly,  because 
they  are  at  present  greatly  involved  in  the 
practical  error  of  loving  external  ornaments 
too  well,  and  of  valuing  too  little  the  orna- 
ments of  a  healthy  body,  a  sound  mind,  and  a 
good  heart. 

I  am  often  pained  to  hear  the  reproach  cast 
upon  females,  and  especially  upon  the  younger 
of  the  sex,  that  they  are  fond  of  the  "  far- 
fetched "  and  "dear-bought,"  even  when  they 
are  the  less  valuable.     It  should  not  be  so. 


DRESS    AND    ORNAMENT.  293 

They  should  be  above  the  suspicion  of  such 
a  weakness. 

What  else  can  be  expected,  however,  when 
those  who  should  be  the  guardians  of  the  public 
taste — and  who  should,  as  christian  citizens, 
strive  with  all  their  might,  to  elevate  it — en- 
gage in  pandering  to  the  follies — not  to  say  the 
depravities — of  the  age?  Let  young  women 
rise  above  themselves,  and  escape  the  snares 
thus  laid  for  them  by  those  who  ought  to  be 
their  guides  to  the  paths  of  wisdom,  and  virtue, 
and  happiness. 


23* 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 


DOSING  AND  DRUGGING. 

Tendency  of  young  women  to  dosing  and  drugging.  "  Ner- 
vousness." Qualms  of  the  stomach.  Eating  between  our 
meals— its  mischiefs.  Evils  of  more  direct  dosing.  What 
organs  are  injured.  Confectionary.  The  danger  from 
quacks  and  quackery. 

Fallen  as  human  nature — our  physical 
nature  with  the  rest — now  is,  there  are  sea- 
sons in  the  lives  of  almost  all  of  us,  when 
we  are  either  ill,  or  fear  we  shall  be  so.  And 
young  women,  as  well  as  others,  have  their 
seasons  of  debility,  and  their  fears,  and  even 
their  sick  days.  They  have  their  colds, 
their  coughs,  their  sick  headaches,  their  indi- 
gestions, and  their  consumptions.  Above  all — 
and  more  frequently  by  far  than  almost  any 
thing  else — they  have  those  undefinable  and 
indescribable  feelings  of  ennui,  which,  for 
want  of  a  better  name,  are  called,  in  their 
various  forms,   "nervousness." 


DOSING    AND    DRUGGING.  295 

When  the  unpleasant  sensations  to  which  I 
have  just  alluded  are  referred  to  the  region  of 
the  stomach,  and  only  produce  a  few  qualms, 
young  women  are  not,  in  general,  so  apt  to 
take  medicine,  as  to  eat  something  to  keep 
down  their  bad  feelings — as  a  bit  of  seed- 
cake, a  little  fruit,  some  cloves  or  cinnamon, 
or  a  piece  of  sugar. 

This,  though  better  than  to  take  medicine, 
is  yet  a  very  bad  practice;  for  although  mo- 
mentary relief  is  secured  in  this  way,  it  never 
fails  to  increase  the  unpleasant  sensations  in 
the  end.  I  ought  to  say  somewhere — and  I 
know  of  no  better  place  than  this — that  the 
habit  of  eating  between  our  regular  meals, 
even  the  smallest  thing  whatever,  is  of  very 
mischievous  tendency;  and  this  for  several 
reasons.  First — the  stomach  needs  its  seasons 
of  entire  rest;  but  those  persons  who  eat 
between  their  meals  seldom  give  any  rest  to 
their  stomachs,  except  during  the  night.  Se- 
condly— eating  things  in  this  way,  injures  the 
general  appetite.  Thirdly — the  habit  is  apt  to 
increase  in  strength,  and  is  difficult  to  break. 
Fourthly — it  does  not  afford  relief,  except  for  a 
very  short  time.  On  the  contrary,  as  I  have 
already  intimated,  it  increases  the  trouble  in 
the  end. 


296  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

This  eating  of  such  simple  things,  I  have 
said,  is  quite  bad  enough;  but  there  are  errors 
which  are  worse.  Such  is  the  habit  of  taking 
an  extra  cup  of  tea  or  coffee — extra,  either  as 
respects  the  number  of  cups  or  the  strength. 
Now  tea  and  coffee — and  sometimes  either  of 
them — are  very  apt  to  afford,  like  eating  a  little 
food,  a  temporary  relief.  Indeed,  the  sufferer 
often  gains  so  long  a  respite  from  her  suffer- 
ings, that  the  narcotic  beverage  which  she 
takes  is  supposed  to  be  the  very  medicine 
needed,  and  the  very  one  adapted  to  her  case. 
The  like  erroneous  conclusion  is  often  made 
after  using,  with  the  same  apparent  good 
effect,  certain  hot  herb  teas.  Yet,  1  repeat  it, 
such  medicinal  mixtures  usually — perhaps  I 
should  say  always — aggravate  the  complaint 
in  the  end,  by  deranging  still  more  the  powers 
and  functions  of  the  stomach,  and  debilitating 
still  more  the  cerebral  and  nervous  system. 

Different  and  various  are  the  external  ap- 
plications made  to  the  head,  in  these  circum- 
stances; but  all,  usually,  with  the  same  suc- 
cess: they  only  produce  a  little  temporary 
relief.  The  same  may  be  said  of  the  use  of 
smelling-bottles — containing,  as  I  believe  they 
usually  do,   ammonia  or  hartshorn,   cologne 


DOSING  AND    DRUGGING.  297 

water,  camphor,  &c.  The  manner  in  which 
these  operate  to  produce  mischief,  is,  how- 
ever, very  different  from  that  of  the  former. 
They  irritate  the  nasal  membrane,  and  dry  it, 
if  they  do  not  slowly  destroy  its  sensibility. 
They  also,  in  some  way,  affect  seriously  the 
tender  brain.  In  any  event,  they  ought  sel- 
dom to  be  used  by  the  sick  or  the  well.  Nor 
is  this  all.  They  are  inhaled — to  irritate  and 
injure  the  lining  membrane  of  the  lungs. 

Trifling  as  it  may  seem  to  many,  I  never 
find  that  a  young  woman  keeps  a  cologne 
bottle  in  her  dressing  room,  or  a  smelling 
bottle  about  her — or  perfumes  her  clothes — or 
is  in  the  habit  of  eating,  every  now  and  then, 
a  little  coriander,  or  pennel,  or  cloves,  or  cin- 
namon— without  trembling  for  her  safety. 
Persisting  long  in  this  habit,  she  will  as  inevi- 
tably injure  her  brain  and  nervous  system, 
her  lungs  or  her  stomach — ay,  and  her  teeth, 
too — as  she  continues  the  habit.  I  never 
knew  a  young  woman  who  had  used  any  of 
these  things,  year  after  year,  for  a  long  series 
of  years,  whose  system  was  not  already  suf- 
fering therefrom;  and  if  I  were  fond  of  giving 
or  receiving  challenges,  I  should  not  hesitate 
to   challenge  the    whole  world  to  produce  a 


298  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

single  instance  of  the  kind.  In  the  very  na- 
ture of  things  it  cannot  be.  Such  persons 
may  tell  us  they  are  well,  when  we  make  an 
attack  upon  their  habits;  but  take  them  when 
off  their  guard,  and  we  hear,  at  times,  quite 
a  different  story. 

In  regard  to  the  daily,  or  even  the  occa- 
sional use  of  the  stronger  drugs  of  the  apothe- 
cary's shop — whether  this  shop  is  found  in  the 
family  or  elsewhere — I  would  fain  hope  many 
of  our  young  women  may  claim  an  entire  im- 
munity. It  seems  to  me  to  be  enough,  that 
they  should  spoil  their  breath,  their  skin,  their 
stomachs  and  their  nerves,  with  perfumes, 
aromatic  seeds  and  spices,  confectionary,  and 
the  like,  without  adding  thereto  the  more  ac- 
tive poisons — as  laudanum,  camphor,  picra, 
antimony,  &c. 

The  mention  of  the  word  confectionary,  in 
the  last  paragraph,  brings  to  my  mind  a  con- 
gregated host  of  evils  which  befall  young 
women,  as  the  legitimate  consequences  of  its 
use.  Some  may  suppose  that  the  class  of 
young  women  for  whom  I  am  writing,  have 
little  to  do  with  confectionary ;  that  they  have 
risen  above  it.  Would  that  it  were  so!  But 
that  it  is  not,  many  a  teacher  of  young  ladies' 


DOSING    AND    DRUGGING.  299 

boarding  schools,  female  seminaries,  &c. — to 
say  nothing  of  parents — might  abundantly 
testify. 

That  they  are  very  often  the  dupes  of  the 
quacks  and  quackery  with  which  our  age 
abounds — or  at  least,  that  they  take  many  of 
the  pills,  and  cough  drops,  and  bitters,  and 
panaceas  of  the  day — I  will  not  believe. 
Much  as  they  err  to  their  own  destruction, 
I  trust  they  have  not  yet  sunk  so  low  as  this. 


CHAPTER   XXVIII. 


TAKING  CARE   OF  THE   SICK. 

The  art  of  taking  care  of  the  sick  should  be  a  part  of  female 
education.  Five  reasons  for  this.  Doing  good.  Doing 
good  by  proxy.  Great  value  of  personal  services.  How 
can  young  women  be  trained  to  these  services  1  Contagion. 
Breathing  bad  air.  Aged  nurses.  Scientific  instruction 
of  nurses.  Visiting  and  taking  care  of  the  sick,  a  religious 
duty.     Appeal  to  young  women. 

The  art  of  taking  care  of  the  sick,  should 
be  considered  an  indispensable  part  of  female 
education.  Some  of  the  reasons  for  this,  are 
the  following: 

1.  As  society  now  is,  there  is  danger  that 
the  number  of  our  young  women  who  fall 
into  a  state  of  indifference,  not  to  say  abso- 
lute disgust,  with  the  world  and  with  life,  will 
greatly  increase,  unless  the  sex  can  be  led, 
by  an  improved  course  of  education,  to  exer- 
cise more  of  that  active  sympathy  with  suffer- 
ing which  prompts  to  assist  in  relieving  it. 


TAKING    CARE    OF    THE    SICK.  301 

2.  Nurses  of  the  sick  are  greatly  needed. 
It  not  unfrequcntly  happens,  that  good  nurses 
cannot  be  obtained,  male  or  female,  except 
by  going  very  far  in  search  for  them.  And 
yet  it  would  seem  that  every  one  must  know 
the  importance  of  good  nurses,  from  the  pre- 
valence of  the  maxim — not  more  prevalent 
than  just— "A  good  nurse  is  worth  as  much 
as  a  physician." 

What  physician  has  not,  again  and  again, 
seen  all  his  efforts  fail  to  do  any  good,  because 
not  sustained  by  the  labors  of  a  skilful,  intelli- 
gent, faithful  and  persevering  nurse?  This 
condition  is  one  of  the  most  trying  that  can 
befall  him;  and  yet,  trying  as  it  is,  it  is  his 
very  frequent  lot. 

3.  Females  are  better  qualified — other 
things  being  the  same — for  attending  the  sick, 
than  males.  They  not  only  have  a  softer 
hand,  and  more  kindness  and  gentleness,  but 
they  arc  also  more  devoted  to  whatever  they 
undertake;  and  they  have  more  fortitude  in 
scenes  of  trial  and  distress.  Their  thoughts 
are,  moreover,  less  engrossed  by  the  cares  of 
business,  and  by  other  objects,  than  those  of 
our  sex.  They  seem  formed  for  days,  and 
months,  and  years  of  watchfulness — not  only 

26 


302  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

over  our  earliest  infancy,  but  also  over  our 
first  and  second  childhood.  And  it  were 
strange,  indeed,  if  nature,  in  qualifying  them 
for  all  this,  had  not  qualified  them  to  watch 
over  us  during  the  few  short  years  that  inter- 
vene. 

There  may,  indeed,  be  instances — there 
certainly  are  some  such — where  the  physical 
strength  of  females,  unaided,  is  not  sufficient 
for  the  task  of  which  I  am  speaking.  For  the 
most  part,  however,  it  is  gentleness,  and  pa- 
tience, and  fortitude,  which  are  most  wanted; 
and  in  these,  woman  stands  pre-eminent. 

4.  It  is  often  advantageous  to  have  female 
assistance  in  taking  care  of  the  sick,  because 
it  can  be  afforded  at  a  much  lower  rate  than 
that  of  males.  There  are  females  who  need 
the  avails  of  these  labors  for  a  livelihood; 
but  not  having  been  trained  to  them,  they  are 
not,  of  course,  employed.  Hence  there  is 
suffering  in  both  ways.  The  sick  suffer  in 
the  loss  of  the  needed  help,  and  the  indigent 
woman  suffers  for  want  of  the  avails  of  that 
labor  which  she  might  perform. 

One  great  advantage  of  being  able  thus  to 
obtain  female  attendants  at  a  cheaper  rate,  is, 
that  the  sick  would  be  mere  likely  to  have  the 


TAKING    CARE    OF    THE    SICK.  303 

regular  attention,  or  at  least  the  general  care, 
of  the  same  individual.  Thousands  and  thou- 
sands of  sick  people  have  died,  who  might 
easily  have  recovered,  had  they  heen  ahle  to 
employ  a  regular  nurse.  Where  a  change  of 
nurses  takes  place  almost  every  day,  no  one 
of  them  feels  that  degree  of  responsibility 
which  it  is  highly  desirable  that  somebody,  in 
this  capacity,  should  feel. 

5.  I  have  spoken  of  the  necessity  of  hav- 
ing young  women  trained  to  the  art  of  taking 
care  of  the  sick,  that  it  may  open  a  door  to 
their  sympathies.  But  it  should  also  be  done 
to  open  the  door  to  their  charities.  Such 
charities  as  the  gratuitous  attendance  of  the 
sick,  where  it  can  be  afforded,  are  among 
the  most  valuable  which  can  possibly  be  be- 
stowed.* Had  we  ever  so  much  money  to 
give  to  the  sick  and  distressed,  it  might  be 
misapplied;  or,  at  least,  applied  in  a  way  we 
should  not  approve.  Even  if  it  were  spent  to 
procure  good  attendance,  are  we  quite  sure 

*  I  mean,  hero,  lo  speak  only  of  those  charities  which  go  to 
correct  the  evils  which  are  in  ilie  world  3  for,  however  great 
the  good  we  may  do  in  spending  time  and  influence  in  cor- 
recting evil,  the  same  amount  of  effort,  righlly  applied,  must 
always  do  still  more  good  in  the  wnv  of  prevention. 


304  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

our  own  attendance  would  not  be  still  more 
useful?  Is  it  not  always  better  to  do  the  good 
ourselves — provided  we  are  competent  to  do 
it — than  by  proxy;  especially,  by  employing 
those  whom  we  know  little  or  nothing  of?  If 
we  do  all  the  good  we  are  able  to  do,  with  our 
own  hands,  we  feel  that  we  have  better  dis- 
charged our  duty,  than  if  we  had  first  turned 
our  labor  into  money,  and  then  applied  the 
money  to  the  same  purpose. 

But  how  is  it  possible,  I  shall  doubtless  be 
asked,  that  in  a  healthy  community  like  that 
of  our  own  New  England,  young  women 
generally  can  be  trained  to  understand  this 
office? 

There  is  no  great  difficulty  in  the  case. 
Healthy  as  we  are — that  is,  comparatively 
so — we  have  in  every  neighborhood,  if  not  in 
every  family,  ample  opportunities  for  initiat- 
ing the  young  into  this  most  indispensable  art. 
It  is  not  expected,  nor  is  it  indeed  desirable, 
that  they  should  be  fully  employed,  or  made 
fully  responsible,  at  first.  There  should  be  a 
sort  of  apprenticeship  served,  to  this  trade  as 
well  as  to  any  other.  Indeed,  I  hardly  know 
of  an  occupation  or  an  art,  which  more  de- 
mands a  long  apprenticeship,  than  this.     But, 


TAKING    CARE    OF    THE    SICK.  30"> 

as  I  was  going  on  to  say,  let  young  women, 
at  a  very  early  age,  be  gradually  inducted 
into  the  office.  Some  young  female  of  their 
own  age,  is  perhaps  sick.  Let  them  solicit 
their  mother  and  the  friends  of  the  diseased,  to 
permit  them  to  be  present  a  part  or  all  of  the 
time,  that  they  may  observe  and  early  under- 
stand the  art  of  taking  care  of  the  sick. 

Let  the  young  woman  solicit  her  mother,  I 
say;  because  I  apprehend,  as  I  have  done  all 
along,  that  the  work  of  reformation  in  this 
matter,  no  less  than  in  others,  must  begin 
with  the  young  woman.  She  finds  herself 
twelve,  fourteen  or  sixteen  years  of  age,  and 
entering  upon  a  life  involving  duties  and 
responsibilities,  to  her  before  unthought  of — 
and  for  which  she  finds  herself  most  sadly  un- 
prepared. She  believes  in  the  necessity  of 
self-effort.  What  conscience  tells  her  ought  to 
be  done,  she  decides  to  do.  She  goes  forward 
intelligently:  and  what  she  begins,  she  re- 
solves, if  possible,  shall  be  finished. 

Let  it  not  be  objected,  that  the  introduction 
of  the  young  to  the  sick-room  will  expose 
them,  unnecessarily,  either  to  contagion  or  the 
breathing  of  bad  air.  For  as  to  contagion, 
there  is  probably  much  less  of  it  in  the  world 
26* 


306  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

than  many  suppose.  But  whether  there  is  less 
or  more  danger,  the  best  way  to  do,  as  the 
world  is  now  situated,  is,  to  inure  ourselves, 
gradually,  to  disease.  There  are  in  New 
York  and  Philadelphia,  many  very  aged  per- 
sons, who  have  been  employed  as  professional 
attendants  of  the  sick  during  all  the  visitations 
of  those  cities  with  yellow  fever  and  cholera, 
who  have  yet  never  taken  either  of  those  dis- 
eases. 

It  is  our  fear  of  taking  disease,  very  often, 
which  makes  us  take  it.  The  sum  total  of  the 
danger  to  the  community,  as  a  community, 
of  contracting  even  contagious  disease,  will 
actually  be  much  lessened,  rather  than  in- 
creased, by  all  our  young  females  being  trained 
in  the  art  and  practice  of  nursing  the  sick. 
And  the  same  might  be  said  of  the  danger  from 
bad  air;  because,  the  better  the  nurse  is — that 
is,  the  more  thoroughly  and  scientifically  she 
understands  her  profession — the  more  pains 
will  be  taken  in  regard  to  ventilating,  both 
the  rooms  of  the  sick  and  of  those  who  are 
healthy. 

I  know,  very  well,  that  to  be  a  complete 
professional  nurse,  requires  a  good  deal  of 
instruction  in  anatomy,  physiology,   hygiene 


TAKING    CARE    OF    THE    SICK.  307 

and  chemistry — to  say  nothing  of  botany,  and 
pharmacy,  and  materia  medica.  But  arc  not 
females  fully  competent  for  all  this?  Arc  they 
not  as  much  so,  to  say  the  least,  as  males? 
Besides,  the  same  information  which  is  so  in- 
dispensable to  a  nurse,  if  it  should  not  be 
much  wanted  for  this  purpose — (for  some  fe- 
males would  not  be  needed  as  nurses,  to  a 
very  great  extent) — would  be  of  inestimable 
value  in  the  early  management  of  a  family. 

What  can  be  more  pitiable,  than  to  see  a 
young  widowed  mother — say  at  twenty-five  or 
thirty  years  of  age — in  poverty,  in  a  situation 
remote  from  neighbors,  with  three  or  four 
children  sick  with  some  epidemic  disease — 
while  she  is  utterly  unacquainted  with  the  best 
methods  of  taking  care  of  them.  Let  it  be 
supposed,  still  further,  that  she  is  without  a 
physician,  and  destitute  of  a  nurse,  excepting 
herself.  What  is  she  to  do?  Take  care  of 
them  herself  she  cannot,  as  she  may  honestly 
tell  you;  having  never  taken  care  of  a  sick 
person,  even  a  near  relation,  for  so  much  as  a 
single  day  or  night  in  her  whole  life! 

"  I  was  sick  and  ye  visited  me,"  is  repre- 
sented, moreover,  by  the  Judge  of  all  the 
earth,  as  one  of  the  grounds — not  of  salvation 


308  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

from  sin — but  of  final  reward  in  the  world  of 
spirits.  But  can  any  one  believe  our  Saviour 
here  means  those  empty,  hollow-hearted  visits 
now  so  common  among  us? — just  going,  I 
mean,  to  a  sick  neighbor's  door,  and  asking 
how  she  does — or  peradventure  stepping  in, 
only  to  stare  at  the  sufferer,  and  with  a  half 
suppressed  breath  and  a  sigh,  to  hope  to  com- 
fort her  by  wishing  she  may  ultimately  re- 
cover? No  such  thing.  The  Saviour,  by  vis- 
iting the  sick,  meant  those  kind  and  valuable 
offices  which  are  worthy  of  the  name ;  espe- 
cially, when  performed  by  the  kind  and  gentle 
hand  of  a  lovely,  intelligent,  benevolent  and 
pious  woman. 

Oh,  young  woman!  hadst  thou  but  a  glimpse 
of  one  half  the  angelic  offices  in  thy  power, 
how  wouldst  thou  labor  and  pray  for  those 
qualities  and  that  education,  which  would 
enable  thee  to  act  up  to  the  dignity  of  thy 
nature,  in  the  sight  of  God,  angels  and  men! 
How  wouldst  thou  labor  to  accomplish  thy 
noble  destiny! 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 


INTELLECTUAL  IMPROVEMENT. 

Futility  of  the  question  whether  woman  is  or  is  not  inferior  to 
man.  Conversation  as  a  means  of  improvement.  Taci- 
turnity and  loquacity.  Seven  rules  in  regard  to  con- 
versation. Reading  another  means  of  mental  progress. 
Thoughts  on  a  perverted  taste.  Choosing  the  evil  and 
refusing  the  good.  Advice  of  parents,  teachers,  ministers, 
&c.  Advice  of  a  choice  friend.  Young  people  reluctant 
to  be  advised.  Set  hours  for  reading.  Reading  too  much. 
Reading  but  a  species  of  talking.  Composition.  Common 
mistakes  about  composing.  Attempt  to  set  the  matter 
right.  Journalizing.  How  a  journal  should  be  kept.  Music. 
Vocal  music  something  more  than  a  mere  accomplishment. 
Lectures  and  concerts.     Studies.     Keys  of  knowledge. 

Much  has  been  said,  incidentally,  in  the 
preceding  chapter,  of  the  importance  of  ex- 
tended intellectual  improvement.  Besides,  I 
have  treated  at  large  on  this  subject  in  an- 
other volume,*  to  which,  as  scarcely  less 
adapted  to  the  condition  of  young  women  than 
that  of  young  wives,  I  must  refer  the  reader. 

*  See  the  Young  Wife,  chap,  xxxiii.  p.  292. 


310  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

What  I  have  to  say  in  this  work,  will  be  little 
more  than  an  introduction  to  the  views  there 
presented. 

The  Ions  agitated  question,  whether  woman 
is  or  is  not  equal  to  man  in  capacity  for  intel- 
lectual improvement,  need  not,  surely,  be  dis- 
cussed in  this  place.  It  is  sufficient,  perhaps, 
to  know,  that  every  young  woman  is  capable 
of  a  much  higher  degree  of  improvement  than 
she  has  yet  attained,  and  to  urge  her  forward 
to  do  all  she  can  for  herself,  and  to  do  it  with 
all  her  might. 

I  have  already  mentioned,  in  preceding 
chapters,  several  sources  of  improvement — 
especially  observation  and  reflection.  But  there 
are  many  sources  of  instruction  accessible  to 
those  who  are  willing  to  be  instructed,  both 
external  and  internal.  Some  of  these  will  now 
be  made  the  subjects  'of  a  few  passing  re- 
marks. 

I.  Conversation. — It  is  seldom,  if  ever,  that 
we  meet  with  an  individual  of  either  sex, 
whose  conversational  powers  have  been  pro- 
perly directed.  To  develope,  cultivate  and 
perfect  these  powers,  seems  hardly  to  be  re- 
garded as  a  part  of  education.     We  have  left 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  311 

the  tongue,  like  the  rest  of  the  frame  to  which 
it  is  attached,  and  of  which  it  forms  a  compo- 
nent part,  to  go  very  much  at  random.  In 
some,  to  be  sure,  it  goes  quite  fast  enough, 
and  continues  on  the  wing  quite  long  enough; 
but  it  is  too  apt  to  go  without  rule,  measure 
or  profit — that  is,  comparatively  so. 

Now,  to  teach  the  tongue  to  go  as  it  should 
— to  teach  it  how  to  go,  and  how  long,  and 
when  and  where  to  make  use  of  its  power — 
is  not,  by  any  means,  a  small  matter,  or  a 
very  easy  task.  But  ought  not  all  this,  and 
much  more,  to  be  done? 

The  old  notion,  that  taciturnity  is  wisdom, 
is  now  very  generally  believed  to  be  un- 
founded. Those  North  American  Indians  who 
are  most  remarkable  for  this  trait  of  charac- 
ter, are  not  found  to  be  a  whit  wiser  than 
other  tribes  who  are  more  loquacious. 

And  what  is  found  by  observation  to  be  true 
of  nations  or  tribes,  is  equally  true  of  indi- 
viduals. One  of  the  most  taciturn  persons  I 
ever  knew,  and  who  passed  with  many  for  a 
very  wise  man,  because  he  was  very  silent 
and  grave,  turned  out,  on  a  more  intimate 
acquaintance,  to  be  silent  because  he  had 
nothing  of  importance  to  say. 


312  THE    YOUxNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

Nor  is  loquacity  uniformly  a  mark  of  wis- 
dom. Some,  indeed,  talk  a  great  deal,  because 
they  have  a  great  deal  to  say:  you  will  find 
a  few  such  in  a  thousand.  Others  talk  inces- 
santly, either  because  they  have  nothing  else 
to  do,  or  will  do  nothing  else.  They  do  not, 
indeed,  talk  sense,  or  produce  ideas;  for  sense 
and  ideas  they  have  not.  At  least,  their  sense 
is  not  common  or  sound  sense;  and  as  for  their 
ideas,  they  are  all  superficial  or  borrowed. 

Immense  is  the  good  which  may  be  done  in 
society,  by  conversation.  There  is  hardly  an 
art  or  a  science,  the  elements  of  which,  to  say 
the  least,  may  not  be  inculcated  orally;  that 
is,  by  conversation.  But  it  is  not  necessary 
that  our  conversation,  in  order  to  be  useful, 
should  always  be  very  scientific.  There  are 
a  thousand  topics  of  interest  that  have  never 
yet  been  dignified  with  the  name  of  science, 
which  might  yet  be  discussed  in  our  familiar 
circles  to  a  very  great  extent,  and  with  both 
profit  and  pleasure. 

When  our  conversation  takes  the  form  of 
story-telling,  it  is  of  still  more  absorbing 
interest,  than  when  it  is  confined  to  mere  ordi- 
nary colloquy.  Here,  again,  a  vast  field  of 
improvement  opens  upon  our  view.     Few  ac- 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  ,313 

quiremcnts  are  more  valuable  to  a  young  wo- 
man who  expects  ever  to  be  at  the  head  of  a 
school  or  a  family,  than  the  art  of  relating  a 
story  well;  and  yet,  owing  to  the  neglect  of 
this  matter  in  education,  no  art,  perhaps,  is 
more  uncommon. 

A  few  leading  principles,  duly  attended  to, 
will,  it  is  believed,  enable  those  who  have 
already  had  some  teaching  on  this  subject,  to 
turn  their  conversation  to  better  advantage; 
as  well  as  aid,  in  the  work  of  reformation, 
those  who  have  not  been  duly  instructed. 

1.  We  should  enunciate  correctly,  and 
speak  distinctly.  Few  persons  do  this;  and 
hence  much  of  the  pleasure  which  might  other- 
wise be  had,  is  lost. 

2.  We  should  endeavor,  as  far  as  in  us 
lies,  to  speak  with  grammatical  correctness. 
The  custom  of  having  two  sorts  of  language — 
one  for  composition  and  the  other  for  common 
conversation — appears  to  me  to  have  a  very 
ill  tendency.  I  would  have  no  one  converse 
in  a  language  he  does  not  understand;  but  I 
would  have  every  one  converse  correctly. 

3.  We  should  endeavor  to  select  such 
topics  as  are  not  only  profitable  to  one  party — 
either  ourselves  or  those  with  whom  we  are 

27 


314  THE    YOUNG    WOMAJS's    GUIDE. 

conversing — but  such  also  as  are  likely  to  be 
acceptable.  It  is  of  little  use  to  force  a  topic, 
however  great,  in  our  judgment,  may  be  its 
importance. 

4.  Conversation  should  be  direct — though 
not  confined  too  long  to  one  point  or  topic. 
But  while  one  subject  is  up,  you  should  know 
how  to  keep  it  up;  or  if  the  thoughts  of  either 
party  wander,  you  should  know  how  to  return 
to  it,  without  too  much  apparent  effort. 

5.  Conversation,  like  every  thing  else  under 
the  sun,  should  have  its  time  and  place.  It 
is  as  wrong  to  converse  when  we  ought  to 
read,  or  study,  or  labor,  or  play,  as  it  is  to 
read  or  play  when  we  ought  to  converse. 
Social  life  has  a  great  many  vacancies,  as  it 
were,  which  good,  and  sprightly,  and  well 
chosen  conversation  should  fill  up. 

6.  Conversation  should  be  sprightly.  If  we 
converse  not  in  this  way,  we  might  almost  as 
well  dispense  with  conversation  entirely.  We 
might  nearly  as  well  resort  to  the  dead  for 
society; — to  the  dead,  I  mean,  who  speak  to 
us  through  the  medium  of  their  works.  Of 
course  I  refer  to  conversation  in  general. 

7.  We  should  remember  our  responsibili- 
ties.    "  For  every  idle  word  that  men  speak, 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  315 

they  shall  give  account  thereof  in  the  day  of 
judgment" — said  He  who  is  to  preside  at  the 
dread  tribunal  of  which  he  spake:  and  an 
apostle  has  told  us,  that  "our  conversation 
should  be  in  heaven;"  that  is,  as  I  understand 
it,  should  be  heavenly  in  its  nature. 

II.  Reading. — There  are,  as  I  suppose,  few 
young  women  of  the  present  day,  who  do 
not  read  more  or  less;  and  to  whom  reading 
is  not,  in  a  greater  or  less  degree,  a  source  of 
intellectual  improvement.  Their  reading  is, 
however,  governed  chiefly  by  whim,  or  fancy, 
or  accident — or  at  most,  by  taste.  Some  read 
newspapers  only  ;  some  read  only  novels; 
some  read  every  thing,  and  therefore  nothing. 
Each  of  these  methods — if  methods  they  can 
be  called — is  wrong. 

But  shall  not  a  young  woman  be  governed 
by  her  taste  ?  Is  that  to  be  turned  wholly 
out  of  doors? 

My  reply  is,  that  though  our  taste  is  not  to 
be  turned  out  of  doors,  wholly,  it  is,  neverthe- 
less,  a  very  imperfect  guide,  and  needs  cor- 
rection. Our  intellect,  like  our  moral  and 
physical  likes  and  dislikes,  is  perverted  by 
the  fall.     I  will  not  sav  that  our  moral,  intel- 


316  THE    YOUNG    VVOMAN*S    GUIDE. 

lectual  and  physical  tastes  are  perverted  in  an 
equal  degree;  for  I  do  not  think  so.  Still 
there  is  a  perversion,  greater  or  less,  of  the 
whole  man — in  all  his  functions,  faculties  and 
affections.  As  a  general  rule,  when  left  to 
our  own  course,  we  choose  that  food,  for 
body,  mind  and  soul,  which,  though  it  may  be 
pleasant  at  first,  is  bitter  afterwards.  "  There 
is  a  way  which  seemeth  right  unto  a  man,  but 
the  end  thereof  is  death." 

Still  it  may  be  said — If  our  intellectual  tastes 
are  perverted,  how  are  they  to  be  set  right? 
Why  not,  I  ask,  in  the  same  way  that  our 
moral  taste  is — by  the  word  and  truth  of  God? 
"To  the  law  and  to  the  testimony." 

The  application  of  the  doctrines  I  am  now 
advocating,  belongs,  most  properly,  to  parents 
and  teachers;  religious  teachers,  especially. 
Parents,  aided  by  ministers  of  the  gospel,  and 
perhaps  the  family  physician,  should  decide 
for  the  young,  individually,  what  means  of 
intellectual  improvement  are  best  for  them,  all 
things  considered;  what  books,  society,  stu- 
dies, &c.  Eut  I  must  confine  my  remarks  to 
books  and  reading. 

It  is  not  difficult  to  decide  what  the  tastes 
of  a  child  shall  be,  in  regard  to  reading.     I 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  317 

will  not,  indeed,  say  that  a  parent  may  at 
once  do  every  thing  she  desires;  but  she 
may  do  a  great  deal.  The  child's  moral  and 
intellectual  tastes  are  about  as  fully  at  her 
command,  as  its  physical  ones;  and  who 
shall  say  that  her  power  in  the  latter  respect, 
is  second  to  any  but  that  of  the  Creator? 

It  is  not  for  parents,  however,  that  I  am 
now  writing;  but  for  those  whose  taste,  by  the 
aid  or  neglect  of  parents,  is  already  formed. 
If  formed  on  the  basis  of  the  word  and  truth 
of  God — if  they  are  inclined  to  prefer  the 
best  books  and  reject  the  worst,  then  all  is 
well:  but  if  not,  then  the  work  of  self-educa- 
tion is,  in  this  respect,  to  set  that  right  which 
has  hitherto  been  wrong. 

Hardly  any  thing  can  be  of  greater  impor- 
tance in  this  matter,  than  the  assistance  of  a 
friend,  in  whom  we  can  confide,  in  making  our 
selection.  This  is  as  necessary  in  regard  to 
newspapers,  as  to  books.  She  who  reads 
newspapers,  indiscriminately,  will  derive  little 
benefit  from  them;  as  her  head  will  be  filled 
with  such  a  mixture  of  truth  and  falsehood, 
and  wisdom  and  folly,  as  will  be  likely  to  do 
her  more  harm  than  good. 

Few  will  road  to  advantage,  who  have  not 
27  • 


318 


their  set  hours  for  reading.  It  is  true,  that 
unforeseen  circumstances  may,  at  times,  break 
in  upon  our  arrangement,  and  impede  our 
progress  in  knowledge;  but  if  we  have  no 
arrangement  or  system  at  all,  we  shall  find 
our  progress  impeded  still  more. 

Do  not  read  too  much.  The  world  is  almost 
deluged  with  books.  Not  only  see  that  your 
selection  is  as  it  should  be,  in  regard  to  the 
character  of  the  books,  but  beware  of  having 
too  many  of  them.  A  few,  well  read  and  un- 
derstood, will  be  more  valuable,  as  well  as 
more  satisfactory. 

The  importance  of  sometimes  reading  aloud, 
has  been  mentioned.  It  has  other  advantages, 
however,  than  merely  the  exercise  of  the 
lungs.  With  a  proper  monitor  at  hand,  it 
may  be  made  a  useful  aid  in  correcting  our 
enunciation,  as  well  as  in  improving  our  con- 
versational powers.  Reading  is  but  speaking 
the  thoughts  of  others  instead  of  our  own; 
and  she  is  the  best  reader — and  infleed  most 
likely  to  be  made  wiser  by  reading — who 
speaks  the  most  naturally.  Our  reading 
should  be  such,  generally,  that  a  friend,  in 
an  adjoining  room,  would  find  it  difficult  to 
tell  whether  we  were  reading  or  conversing. 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  319 

III.  Composition. — Next  to  conversation  and 
reading,  as  a  means  of  intellectual  improve- 
ment, I  place  composition.  This  is  nothing) 
either  more  or  less — at  least  it  should  not 
he — than  talking  on  paper.  As  reading  is 
merely  talking  over  the  thoughts  of  others — 
conversing  in  another's  words — so  composi- 
tion is  merely  conversing  with  others  through 
the  medium  of  a  piece  of  paper. 

It  is  a  most  delightful  consideration,  that 
it  has  pleased  God  to  secure  to  us  a  written 
language.  Are  we  grateful  enough  for  the 
gift?  Do  we  think  enough  of  the  privilege  of 
conversing  in  this  way  with  friends  in  nearly 
every  quarter  of  the  globe  ? 

One  of  the  most  valuable  kinds  of  compo- 
sition is  letter-writing,  or  epistolary  corres- 
pondence. This,  above  all,  should  be  in  the 
style  of  familiar  though  well  directed  conver- 
sation. 

I  wish,  with  all  my  heart,  that  people  could 
get  rid  of  the  idea,  that  there  should  be  one 
style  for  conversation,  and  another  for  writing. 
Here  is  the  stumbling-stone  on  which  youth 
of  both  sexes  have  been  stumbling,  time  im- 
memorial; and  on  which,  I  fear,  many  will  be 
likely  to  stumble  for  some  time  to  come. 


320  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

Could  they  get  rid  of  this  strange  belief — 
could  they  perceive,  most  clearly,  that  com- 
position is  nothing  more  than  putting  our 
thoughts  on  paper,  instead  of  delivering  them 
by  word  of  mouth — and  that  conversation  is 
nothing  less  than  composition,  except  that  the 
words  are  written  as  it  were  in  the  air,  in- 
stead of  being  placed  on  a  sheet  of  paper — 
how  soon  would  the  complaints  about  the 
tediousness  of  composition  cease  to  be  heard. 
Some  young  women,  of  sixteen,  or  eighteen, 
or  twenty  years  of  age,  appear  to  regard  letter- 
writing  as  childish.  They  talk  of  having  once 
been  so  foolish  as  to  be  addicted  to  the  prac- 
tice; but  as  having  now  outgrown  it.  Such 
persons  have  no  conception  of  the  vast  impor- 
tance of  this  species  of  composition,  as  an  aid 
to  correct  thinking  and  correct  writing.  The 
more  we  think,  the  more  and  better  we  are 
able  to  think;  and  the  more  we  write,  the 
more  thoughts  we  have  which  we  wish  to  put 
down. 

One  valuable  form  of  putting  down  thoughts 
— next  to  letter-writing — consists  in  keeping 
a  journal.  I  often  wonder  why  our  families 
and  schools  should  encourage  almost  every 
thing  else,  rather  than  letter-writing  and  jour- 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  321 

nalizing.  Our  familiar  letters  to  familiar 
friends,  might  often  consist  of  extracts  from 
our  daily  journals. 

But  here,  again,  there  has  been  great  error. 
Journals  have  usually  consisted  of  the  driest 
details,  or  exteriors  of  events.  The  young 
should  be  encouraged  to  record  their  feelings 
in  them;  their  hopes  and  fears — their  antici- 
pations and  their  regrets — their  joys  and  their 
sorrows — their  repentances  and  their  resolu- 
tions. Such  journals,  with  old  and  young, 
could  not  fail  to  advance  the  intellect,  even 
if  they  should  not  improve  the  heart. 

IV.  Music. — Attention  to  music — vocal  mu- 
sic, especially — should  always  form  a  part  of 
female  education.  The  day  is  gone  by,  as  I 
trust,  when  it  was  customary  to  say  that  none 
but  the  gifted  could  acquire  this  accomplish- 
ment. It  is  now,  I  believe,  pretty  well  under- 
stood, that  all  persons  may  learn  to  sing,  as 
well  as  to  read.  Not,  of  course,  equally  well, 
in  either  case;  but  all  can  make  a  degree  of 
progiM  98. 

I  have  called  singing  an  accomplishment; 
but  it  seems  to  me  to  be  much  more.  Its 
bearing   upon  the   health,  and  even  upon  the 


322  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

intellect,  is  very  great.     Even  its  moral  ten- 
dency is  by  no  means  small. 

The  value  of  music,  to  soothe  the  feelings 
and  cast  out  the  evil  spirits  which  haunt  the 
path  of  human  life,  has  never  yet  received 
that  measure  of  attention  which  it  deserves. 
Even  in  those  parts  of  continental  Europe, 
where  all  the  peasants  sing,  and  are  accus- 
tomed to  fill  the  air  with  their  cheerful  and 
harmonious  voices  as  they  go  forth  to  prose- 
cute their  daily  tasks,  no  less  than  in  their 
families — even  there,  I  say,  the  full  power 
and  value  of  music  are  not  understood.  They 
make  it,  by  far  too  much,  a  sort  of  sensual 
gratification.  Let  it  be  redeemed,  for  abetter 
and  a  nobler  purpose.  Let  it  become  a  com- 
panion of  science  and  literature,  as  well  as 
of  industry  and  of  virtue — and  religion,  still 
more  than  all. 

V.  Lectures  and  Concerts. — Lectures  are 
often  useful,  even  when  they  do  no  more  than 
afford  an  agreeable  means  of  passing  an  hour's 
time.  They  are  not  indispensable  to  those 
young  women  who  love  study;  but  are  more 
useful  as  a  means  of  exciting  inquiry  in  those 
who  have  very  little  fondness  for  it.     Besides, 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  3L2S 

there  are  lectures,  at  times,  on  subjects  which 
cannot  be  found  in  books;  and  in  such  cases 
they  may  be  specially  useful  to  all. 

As  for  concerts,  and  parties  of  all  sorts, 
attended  as  they  usually  are  in  the  evening, 
there  are  many  objections  to  them — though, 
as  society  is  now  regulated,  it  may  not  be  best 
to  denounce  them  altogether.  Home  is  the 
proper  place  for  young  women,  as  well  as  for 
other  honest  people,  after  dark;  at  least  this 
ought  to  be  the  general  rule. 

If  lectures,  concerts,  &c,  could  be  attended 
in  the  afternoon,  there  would  be  fewer  objec- 
tions to  them.  Even  then,  however,  there 
would  probably  be  more  or  less  of  intellectual 
dissipation  connected  with  their  attendance. 
It  is  to  be  regretted  that  time,  which  is  so 
valuable,  cannot  be  better  employed,  than  in 
mere  running  abroad,  because  others  are 
going.  When  these  exercises  are  attended, 
we  should  do  all  we  can  to  turn  them  to  good 
account. 

VI.  Studies. — If  any  young  woman  could 
have  some  judicious  friend,  male  or  female, 
to  advise  her  what  books  to  read,  and  what 
studies  to   pursue — and  if  the  non-essentials 


324 

in  dress,  &c,  were  discarded — I  cannot  help 
thinking  that  life  is  long  enough  to  give  her  an 
opportunity  to  become  mistress  of  every  thing 
which  is  usually  thought  to  belong  to  a  good 
English  education.  I  will  venture  to  say, 
that  there  is  hardly  a  girl  of  twelve  years  of 
age,  whose  circumstances  are  so  unfavorable 
as  to  prevent  her  from  thus  acquiring  the 
keys  of  knowledge  by  the  time  she  is  twenty- 
five  years  of  age,  could  she  be  directed  in  a 
proper  manner. 

I  have  spoken  of  acquiring  the  keys  of 
knowledge,  as  if  this  were  the  first  object  of  a 
course  of  studies.  And  such  I  regard  it.  I 
know,  indeed,  that  we  reap  some  of  the  fruits 
of  almost  all  our  acquired  knowledge,  imme- 
diately: still,  the  greater  part  remains  for 
years  to  come. 

No  young  woman  should  fail  to  be  thoroughly 
versed  in  spelling,  reading,  writing,  composi- 
tion, grammar,  geography  and  arithmetic — 
and,  as  much  as  possible,  in  anatomy,  physi- 
ology, hygiene,  chemistry,  botany,  natural 
history,  philosophy,  domestic  and  political 
economy,  civil  and  ecclesiastical  history, 
biography,  and  the  philosophy  of  the  Bible — 
to  say  nothing  of  geology,  and  the  higher 
branches  of  mathematics. 


INTELLECTUAL    IMPROVEMENT.  325 

One  word  in  regard  to  your  hand-writing. 
Nothing  is  more  common,  in  these  days,  than 
to  write  in  a  most  illegible  manner — a  mere 
scribble.  Now,  whatever  young  men  may  do 
in  this  respect,  I  beseech  every  young  wo- 
man to  avoid  this  wretched,  slovenly  habit. 
Hardly  any  thing  appears  more  interesting  to 
me,  in  a  young  woman,  than  a  neat,  delicate, 
and  at  the  same  time  plain  style  of  hand- 
writing. 

I  have  mentioned  a  considerable  number  of 
studies,  not  because  I  think  they  can  be  ac- 
quired at  once — or  even  their  keys;  but  we 
are  to  proceed  in  them  slowly,  step  by  step, 
endeavoring  to  understand  thoroughly  as  far 
as  we  go — till,  in  a  course  of  years  we  have 
become  adepts  in  them  all.  I  do  not  say,  till 
we  have  become  perfect  in  them;  fori  do  not 
believe  in  any  perfection  in  these  matters. 

Do  not  pursue  too  many  studies  at  once: 
it  is  the  most  useless  thing  that  can  be  done. 
Your  knowledge,  should  you  get  any,  would 
in  that  way  be  confused  and  indefinite,  instead 
of  being  clear,  and  practical,  and  useful  to 
you.  I  would  never  pursue  more  than  one 
or  two  leading  sciences  at  one  time;  and  in 
general,  I  think  that  one  is  better  than  more. 
28 


326  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

If  you  pursue  more  than  one,  let  them  be  such 
as  are  particularly  related;  as  geography  and 
history. 

Let  me  say,  in  closing  this  chapter,  that  the 
great  end  of  all  intellectual  culture,  is  to 
teach  the  art  of  thinking,  and  of  thinking  right. 
To  learn  to  think,  merely,  is  to  rise  only  one 
degree  above  the  brute  creation.  To  learn  to 
think  ivell,  however,  is  noble ;  worthy  of  the 
dignity  of  human  nature,  and  of  the  Author 
of  that  nature. 


CHAPTER  XXX. 


SOCIAL   IMPROVEMENT. 

Improvement  in  a  solitary  state.  The  social  relations. 
Mother  and  daughter.  Father  and  daughter.  Brother  and 
sister.  The  elder  sister.  Brethren  and  sisters  of  the 
great  human  family.  The  family  constitution.  Character 
of  Fidelia.  Her  resolutions  of  celibacy.  In  what  cases 
the  latter  is  a  duty.  A  new  and  interesting  relation.  Se- 
lection with  reference  to'it.  Principles  by  which  to  be  gov- 
erned in  making  a  selection.  Evils  of  a  hasty  or  ill-judged 
selection.  Counsellors.  Anecdote  of  an  unwise  one. 
Great  caution  to  be  observed.  Direction  to  be  sought  at 
the  throne  of  grace. 

Were  there  but  a  single  individual  in  the 
wide  world,  that  individual,  with  the  laws  that 
woman  now  has  to  guide  her — laws  internal 
and  external,  natural  and  revealed — would 
be  susceptible  of  endless  and  illimitable  im- 
provement. She  might  make  advances  every- 
day— and  it  would  be  her  duty  to  do  so — up- 
ward toward  the  throne  of  God,  and  towards 
the  perfection  of  him  who  occupies  it. 


328  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

But  if  much  might  be  done  by  an  indi- 
vidual in  a  solitary  state,  how  much  more  may 
be  accomplished  in  the  social  state  in  which 
it  has  pleased  our  Heavenly  Father  to  place 
us?  It  is  difficult  to  turn  our  eyes  in  any 
direction,  without  being  met  by  numerous  and 
striking  proofs  of  divine  wisdom  and  benevo- 
lence; but  if  there  be  any  one  thing  in  the 
whole  moral  world,  short  of  the  redemption  by 
Jesus  Christ,  which  overwhelms  me  with  won- 
der, and  leads  me  to  adore  more  than  any 
thing  else,  it  is  the  divine  wisdom  and  be- 
nevolence, as  manifested  in  the  social  state 
allotted  to  man. 

How  interesting — how  exceedingly  so — the 
relation  between  a  mother  and  a  daughter? 
And  how  many  blessings — deficient  as  many 
mothers  are  in  knowledge  and  love — are 
showered  upon  the  head  of  a  young  woman, 
through  maternal  instrumentality!  In  no  case, 
however,  is  this  relation  more  interesting,  than 
when  the  young  woman  is  just  beginning  to 
act  for  herself.  Then,  if  ever,  should  she 
avail  herself  of  them.  She  knows  little  of  the 
world  before  her — either  of  the  dangers  on 
the  one  hand,  or  the  advantages  on  the  other. 
Of  these,  however,  the  mother  knows  much. 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  329 

Let  the  daughter  value  her  society  and  good 
counsel  ahove  all  else  human,  and  lay  hold  of 
it  as  for  her  life. 

How  interesting,  too,  the  relation  between 
a  wise  and  good  father,  and  a  virtuous  and 
affectionate  daughter!  I  am  most  struck, 
however,  with  this  relation — and  most  re- 
minded of  the  divine  goodness  in  its  institu- 
tion— when  I  see  a  daughter  ministering  to 
the  wants,  moral  and  physical,  of  a  very  aged 
relative — parent  or  grand-parent;  one  who  is 
superannuated  or  sick. 

There  are,  in  civilized  society — and  above 
all,  where  the  rays  of  the  blessed  gospel  of  the 
Son  of  God  have  been  let  in — scenes  on  which 
angels  themselves  might  delight  to  gaze,  and 
on  which  I  have  no  doubt  they  do  gaze  with 
the  most  intense  delight.  Would  that  such 
scenes  were  still  more  frequent!  Would  that 
filial  love  was  always  what  it  should  be,  in- 
stead of  degenerating  into  cold  formalities. 

"How  have  I  been  charmed,"  says  Addi- 
son, "to  see  one  of  the  most  beauteous  wo- 
men the  age  has  produced,  kneeling  to  put  on 
an  old  man's  slipper."  And  so  have  I.  It  is 
a  sight  which  revives  one's  hopes  of  fallen 
nature.  No  matter  if  the  infirmities  of  the 
28* 


330  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

parent  are  the  consequences  of  his  own  folly, 
vice  and  crime:  the  same  soft  hand  is  still 
employed,  day  after  day — and  the  same  coun- 
tenance is  lighted  up  with  a  smile,  at  being 
able  thus  to  employ  it. 

But  when  to  the  tenderest  love  on  the  part 
of  a  young  woman  in  this  relation,  and  to  the 
kindest  efforts  to  promote  the  temporal  hap- 
piness and  comfort  of  those  whom  she  holds 
dear,  is  joined  a  love  for  the  mind  and  soul ; 
when  every  opportunity  is  laid  hold  of  with 
eagerness,  to  inform,  and  improve,  and  ele- 
vate— and  this,  too,  though  the  subject  of  her 
labor  is  the  most  miserable  wreck  of  hu- 
manity of  which  we  can  conceive;  when  to 
works  of  love  is  added  the  warmest  prayers, 
at  the  bedside  and  elsewhere,  for  almighty 
aid  and  favor;  the  interest  of  the  scene  is 
indescribable.  It  needs  a  more  than  mortal 
pen  or  pencil,  to  portray  it. 

There  are  other  relations  of  society — rela- 
tions of  the  young  woman,  I  mean,  in  particu- 
lar— which  are  of  great  importance  and  inter- 
est. Among  these,  are  the  relations  of  brother 
and  sister. 

Perhaps  I  am  inclined  to  make  too  much  of 
the  passage  of  scripture — already  noticed  in 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  331 

another  chapter — where  Cain  is  said  to  have 
been  set  over  Abel,  in  the  very  language 
which  is  used  to  signify  the  superiority  of 
Adam  over  Eve.  And  yet  it  must  mean 
something.  There  is  a  mutual  dependence 
between  brothers  and  sisters  of  every  age, 
which  should  result  in  continual  improvement 
— intellectual,  moral  and  religious.  The  du- 
ties involved  in  this  relation,  however,  will  be 
more  especially  binding  on  the  elder  brothers 
and  sisters;  and  as  it  appears  to  me,  above 
all,  on  an  elder  sister.  Indeed,  in  this  re- 
spect, it  is  impossible  for  me  to  be  mistaken. 
An  elder  sister  is  a  sort  of  second  mother;  and 
she  often  fulfils  the  place  of  a  mother.  Oh, 
how  important — how  sacred — the  trust  com- 
mitted to  her  keeping! 

I  have  seen  the  care  of  a  large  family  de- 
volve, by  the  death  of  the  mother,  upon  the 
elder  daughter.  Instead  of  her  being  dis- 
heartened at  all,  I  have  known  her  to  go  for- 
ward in  the  pathway  of  duty — sensible,  at  the 
same  time,  of  her  dependence  on  her  heavenly 
Father — and  not  only  instruct  the  other  chil- 
dren, but  "train  them  up,"  in  some  good  de- 
gree,  "  in  the  way  they  should  go." 

Do  you    think    I    respected    or  loved   this 


332  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

young  woman  the  less,  because  she  was  thus 
early  a  housekeeper,  a  matron,  and  a  mother? 
Do  you  think  I  esteemed  her  the  less,  be- 
cause— exclusive  of  the  common  school — she 
had  no  seminary  of  instruction?  Her  educa- 
tion was  a  thousand  times  more  valuable  than 
that  of  the  fashionable  routine  of  the  schools, 
without  the  kind  of  discipline  she  had.  A 
world  whose  females  were  all  educated  in 
the  family  schools — and  especially  in  the 
school  of  affliction,  and  poverty,  and  hard- 
ship— would  be  incomparably  a  better  world 
than  one  whose  young  women  should  "wear 
soft  clothing,"  and  live  in  "kings'  courts  " — 
who  should  be  educated  by  merely  fashion- 
able mothers,  amid  ease  and  abundance,  and 
"finished"  at  the  institute  or  the  boarding 
school. 

Let  me  not  be  understood,  in  all  this,  as 
undervaluing  kind  mothers,  and  boarding 
schools,  and  comforts — and  luxuries,  even — in 
themselves  considered.  All  I  mean  to  dis- 
courage, is,  a  reliance  on  them,  to  the  exclu- 
sion of  other  things  of  more  importance.  If 
we  could  have  the  latter  in  the  first  place — 
difficulties,  hardships,  hard  labor,  and  adver- 
sity— and    upon    these  engraft  the  former,  I 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  333 

should  like  it  exceedingly  well.  What  I  dis- 
like is,  not  polish  or  tinsel,  in  itself — but  polish 
on  that  which  is  not  worth  polishing;  and 
above  all,  nothing  but  polish. 

Let  every  young  woman  whose  eye  meets 
these  paragraphs,  rejoice,  if  she  has  younger 
brothers  or  sisters — or  even  if  she  has  brothers 
or  sisters  at  all.  The  younger  may  do  some- 
thing for  the  older,  as  well  as  the  older  much 
for  the  younger.  And  if  she  is  without  either, 
there  are  probably  other  and  remoter  relatives 
for  whom  something  may  be  done. 

I  have  alluded,  elsewhere,  to  grand-parents. 
There  are  usually  uncles,  and  aunts,  and 
cousins — sometimes  in  great  numbers.  There 
is  much  due  to  these.  I  know,  very  well,  that 
our  over-refinement,  in  an  over-refined  and 
diseased  society,  says  otherwise,  of  late;  and 
that  our  time  is  expended  more  and  more — 
especially  that  of  females — on  our  own  dear 
selves,  to  the  exclusion  of  remoter  relatives. 
But  this  should  not  be  the  case,  especially 
when  there  arc  no  nearer  ones.  Whether, 
however,  we  have  brethren  or  sisters,  properly 
so  called,  and  other  more  distant  relatives,  or 
not,  we  have  brethren  and  sisters.  The  world 
is  but  a  great  family ;  and  all  are  brethren,  or 


334  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

ought  to  be  so.  We  should  love  all — even 
our  enemies — as  brethren;  but  we  should  love, 
with  the  deepest  and  most  enduring  affection, 
those  who  love  God  most  ardently.  "My 
mother  and  brethren  are  they  that  hear  the 
word  of  God  and  do  it,"  said  the  Saviour; 
and  it  is  only  in  proportion  as  we  possess  his 
spirit,  that  we  shall  be  found  to  belong,  in  the 
truest  sense,  to  his  family. 

The  ties  of  which  I  have  been  speaking, 
in  the  preceding  paragraphs,  will  have  but 
poorly  answered  their  purpose,  if  they  have 
not  had  the  effect  to  raise  us  to  this  universal 
love  referred  to  by  the  Saviour.  For  this 
they  were  chiefly  instituted;  and  to  this,  in 
the  best  state  of  human  society,  do  they  tend. 
They  do  not  lead  us  to  love  relations,  usually 
so  called,  any  less:  neither  did  they  have  this 
effect  on  Jesus.  But  they  lead  us  to  love  the 
world  at  large,  more. 

If  young  women  would  have  the  spirit  of 
our  Lord  and  Saviour — or  if  they  would  be 
instruments  in  his  hands  of  hastening  the  glad 
day  of  his  more  complete  reign  on  the  earth 
and  in  the  hearts  of  his  intelligent  family — they 
must  strive  to  come  up  to  this  love  of  the 
human  family.     It  is  to  elevate  them  to  this 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  335 

love,  I  again  say,  that  the  family  institution, 
with  all  the  interesting  relations  which  grow 
out  of  it,  was  instituted.  When  it  has  ac- 
complished this  work,  though  it  will  not  cease 
to  be  valuable,  in  the  abstract,  it  will  be  less 
valuable  relatively — because  it  will  absorb  a 
smaller  proportion  of  our  thoughts  and  affec- 
tions, and  leave  a  larger  proportion  for  the 
world  in  general,  and  its  Creator. 

I  have  quoted,  elsewhere,  the  sentiments  of 
Addison,  in  regard  to  the  filial  affection  of 
daughters.  In  the  same  paper,  this  interest- 
ing writer  embodies  his  views  on  this  subject, 
in  the  character  of  a  young  woman  by  the 
name  of  Fidelia,  whose  devotion  to  her  father 
he  describes  as  follows: 

"  Fidelia  is  now  in  the  twenty-third  year  of 
her  age  ;  but  the  application  of  many  ad- 
mirers, and  her  quick  sense  of  all  that  is  truly 
elegant  and  noble  in  the  enjoyment  of  a  plen- 
tiful fortune,  are  not  able  to  draw  her  from 
the  side  of  her  good  old  father.  When  she 
was  asked  by  a  friend  of  her  deceased  mother 
to  admit  the  courtship  of  her  son,  she  an- 
swered that  she  had  a  great  respect  and  grati- 
tude to  her  for  the  overture  in  behalf  of  one  so 
near  to  her;   but  that  during  her  father's  life, 


336  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

she  would  admit  into  her  heart  no  value  for 
any  thing  which  should  interfere  with  her  en- 
deavors to  make  his  remains  of  life  as  happy 
and  easy  as  could  be  expected  in  his  circum- 
stances. The  happy  father  has  her  declara- 
tion that  she  will  not  marry  during  his  life, 
and  the  pleasure  of  seeing  that  resolution  not 
uneasy  to  her." 

Now,  though  I  am  not  quite  satisfied  with 
the  selfishness  of  the  father,  in  this  case — nor 
with  the  notion  of  Fidelia,  that  the  particular 
friendship  of  another  would  interfere  materially 
with  her  filial  duties — yet  I  do  not  undertake 
to  say  that  there  are  no  cases  in  which  a  young 
woman  has  the  right — the  moral  right — to 
make  resolutions  not  unlike  that  made  by  Fi- 
delia. It  does  not  seem  that  her  resolution  to 
neglect  the  society  of  others  for  the  sake  of 
discharging  an  important  filial  duty,  was  for  a 
longer  period  than  during  the  short  life  of  a 
very  decrepid  old  father. 

I  have  introduced  this  subject  in  this  place, 
as  the  preface  to  a  series  of  remarks  on  that 
particular  relation  which  every  young  wo- 
man— except,  perhaps,  a  few  who  are  situated 
like  Fidelia — ought  to  be  prepared  to  sus- 
tain, and  to  sustain  well.     Indeed,  I  consider 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  337 

this  to  be  paramount,  at  a  suitable  age, 
to  every  other;  and  that  no  duty  can,  as  a 
general  rule,  be  more  obligatory. 

He  who  instituted  the  law  of  marriage,  has 
not,  indeed,  condescended  to  say  how  early  or 
in  what  circumstances  this  command  must  be 
yielded  to,  or  obeyed;  but,  as  a  general  rule, 
he  requires  it  to  be  obeyed,  in  some  form  or 
other,  and  at  some  time  or  other.  Or,  to  ex- 
press the  views  I  entertain  more  correctly,  I 
should  say,  that  no  young  woman,  in  ordinary 
circumstances,  has  a  right  to  resolve  to  neg- 
lect the  subject  forever — or  to  say  she  never 
will  marry.  She  is  to  consider  the  command 
of  the  Creator  as  obligatory,  as  a  general 
fact,  on  the  whole  human  race.  She  must 
remember,  moreover,  that  if  it  is  binding  on 
the  whole,  it  must  be  so  on  the  individuals 
composing  that  whole. 

On  these  principles  the  education  of  every 
young  woman  should,  as  I  think,  be  con- 
ducted; and  if,  by  the  neglect  of  parents, 
masters  or  guardians,  it  has  not  been  so,  then 
it  should  be  the  aim  of  the  young  woman  her- 
self, in  her  efforts  at  self-education,  to  sup- 
ply what  has  been  by  others  omitted.  Some 
of  the  items  in  this  work  of  education  have 
39 


338  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

been  alluded  to — not  only  in  the  chapter  on 
''Domestic  Concerns,"  and  in  that  on  "Econ- 
omy," but  elsewhere.  My  purpose  at  the 
present  time,  is  merely  to  speak  of  the  selec- 
tion of  her  society  with  reference  to  her  fu- 
ture state  of  life. 

This  is  a  subject  of  the  highest  importance 
to  the  happiness — present  and  future — of 
every  young  woman.  The  marriage  relation, 
considered  only  as  a  means  of  completing  the 
education  of  the  parties,  is  one  of  immense 
importance.  But  it  is  of  still  greater  im- 
portance, in  reference  to  other  duties  which 
it  involves.  Hence  it  requires  much  fore- 
thought and  reflection.  Let  me  prevail  with 
you,  therefore,  when  I  urge  upon  you  the  fol- 
lowing considerations: 

1.  Never  think  for  one  moment  of  the 
society  of  any  other  than  a  good  man.  What- 
ever may  be  his  intrinsic  endowments — wit, 
beauty,  talent,  rank,  property  or  prospects — 
all  should  be  as  nothing  to  you,  unless  his 
character  is  what  it  should  be.  Of  course,  I 
am  not  encouraging  you  to  look  for  angelic 
perfection  or  purity  on  this  earth;  but  do  not 
make  too  many  allowances,  on  the  other  hand, 
for  frailty.     A  close  examination,  as  with  the 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  339 

microscope,  will  disclose  irregularity  and 
roughness  on  the  most  polished  or  smooth 
surface:  how  then  will  that  surface  appear, 
which  is  uneven  without  the  microscope?  If 
it  were  possible  for  your  associate  for  life  to 
come  apparently  near  celestial  purity  and  ex- 
cellence, a  closer  acquaintance  would,  most 
undoubtedly,  convince  you  that  he  was  of  ter- 
restrial origin.  Do  the  best  you  can,  there- 
fore, and  you  will  do  ill  enough. 

2.  It  is  not  sufficient,  however,  that  the 
friend  you  seek  should  be  good — that  is,  nega- 
tively so:  he  must  do  good.  Multitudes,  in 
these  days,  pass  for  good  men  because  they 
do  no  harm;  or  because,  at  most,  they  main- 
tain a  good  standing,  and  are  benevolent,  in 
the  eye  of  the  world.  I  know  of  more  than 
one  person  in  the  world,  who  gives  his  property 
by  thousands,  annually — and  whose  praise  is 
in  all  the  churches — who  never  yet  gave 
any  thing  worth  naming,  in  his  life,  if  the 
gospel  rule  on  this  subject  is  the  correct 
one — that  the  widow  who  of  her  penury  cast 
into  the  treasury  two  mites,  in  reality  cast  in 
more  than  all  they  who  of  their  abundance  be- 
stowed large  and  liberal  sums. 


340  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

Let  your  associate,  therefore,  be  a  doer  of 
good,  in  deed  and  in  truth.  This  is  said, 
however,  with  the  supposition  that  you  are  so 
yourself;  for  if  I  have  not  already  convinced 
you  that  the  great  end  for  which  you  were 
sent  into  the  world  is  to  do  good,  I  shall  not 
expect  to  do  so  by  any  remarks  which  could 
be  thrown  in  here.  If  you  are  still  out  of 
the  way,  it  is  to  be  feared  you  will  remain  so: 
nor  shall  I  expect  you — for  reasons  to  be  seen 
presently — to  seek  the  society  of  those  who 
do  not  possess  the  same  turn  of  mind. 

3.  It  is  highly  desirable  that  the  individual 
with  whom  you  associate  for  life,  should  be 
something  more  than  merely  a  good  man. 
This,  however,  does  not  explain  my  mean- 
ing. For  are  there  not  many  of  the  most 
excellent  persons  in  the  world,  whom  you 
would  not  willingly  take  for  a  daily  compan- 
ion? Do  you  not  desire  likeness  in  opinion, 
taste,  purpose,  &c.  Might  not  the  two  very 
best  persons  in  the  world  be  unhappy  in  each 
other's  constant  society,  if  they  were  exceed- 
ingly unlike  each  other? 

In  the  establishment,  then,  of  this  interest- 
ing relation,  seek  by  all  means  an  individual 
who   appears  to  entertain  views  of  social  life, 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  341 

as  much  as  possible,  like  your  own.  Does  he 
find  his  happiness  in  going  abroad,  or  in 
lounging?  Is  he  impatient  in  the  society  of 
children?  Is  he  a  great  friend  of  parade  and 
excitement?  And  are  you  the  reverse  of  all 
this?  Do  you  love  most  the  quiet  and  retire- 
ment of  home — and  to  be  surrounded  by 
infancy  and  childhood?  Do  you  dread,  above 
almost  all  things  in  the  world,  excitement  and 
parade  ? 

Does  your  friend  hate  nothing  so  much  as 
his  own  thoughts  and  reflections?  Does  he 
dread,  also,  like  the  cholera  or  the  plague,  all 
efforts  at  mental  or  moral  improvement  ?  Does 
he  hate  improving  conversation — and  above 
all,  those  books  and  associates  which  have 
the  improvement  and  elevation  of  the  body, 
mind  and  spirit,  for  their  great  and  leading 
object?  And  have  you  a  dillerent  taste — en- 
tirely so?  Do  you  live — do  you  eat,  drink, 
sleep,  wake,  exercise,  dress,  labor,  play,  con- 
verse, read,  and  think,  and  pray  that  you  may 
become  wiser,  and  better,  and  holier? 

In  short,  is  the  ultimate  object  of  the  one, 

the  gratification  of  self — and   docs  all,  with 

him,    terminate    in   the    external  ;    while  the 

other  seeks  primarily,  in  all  things,  the  im- 

29* 


342  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

provement,  the  holiness  and  the  happiness 
of  herself  and  others?  How  can  such  per- 
sons be  suitable  companions  for  each  other? 
Can  two  walk  together,  says  the  scripture, 
unless  they  are  agreed — that  is,  agreed  as  to 
the  main  points  and  purposes  of  life  ? 

I  know  of  no  being  whom  I  so  much  pity, 
as  a  young  woman  who,  believing,  perhaps, 
that  a  "reformed  rake,"  once  handsome,  or 
it  may  be,  a  wit,  makes  the  best  companion, 
has  become  chained  for  life  to  a  stupid,  shift- 
less creature — one  whose  energies  of  body 
and  soul  are  exhausted,  and  seem  unsuscep- 
tible of  being  renovated  or  restored — one, 
too,  with  whom,  in  that  more  intimate  ac- 
quaintance which  time  and  circumstances 
afford  her,  proves  to  be  totally  unworthy  of 
her  hand  or  her  heart! 

I  have  said  that  I  know  of  no  being  so 
pitiable,  as  a  young  woman  thus  situated.  I 
know  of  none,  I  mean  to  say,  except  a  young 
man  in  similar  circumstances.  Did  the  effects 
of  these  unhappy  companionships  terminate 
on  themselves,  the  misfortune  would  not  be 
so  great.  Woman,  at  any  rate,  with  her  for- 
titude, might  endure  it.  But  it  is  not  usually 
so;   and  here    is   the    great    evil.     Misery  is 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  .343 

inflicted  on  a  new  generation;  one  that  has 
done  nothing  to  deserve  it. 

Let  me  entreat  my  readers,  therefore,  while 
I  urge  them  to  regard  the  companionship  of 
which  I  am  now  speaking  as  a  matter  of  duty, 
to  be  exceedingly  careful  in  their  selection  of 
a  companion.  Choose  ;  but  do  not  be  in 
haste.  On  the  wisdom  of  your  choice,  much 
more  depends  than  you  can  now  possibly 
imagine: — it  is  for  your  life.  Would  you 
could  realize  this  truth:  for,  though  so  old  and 
so  often  repeated  that  it  may  appear  rather 
stale,  it  is  not  the  less  true  for  its  age. 

Have  nothing  to  do,  above  all,  with  those 
who  despise  your  sex.  There  is  a  large 
number  of  young  men — much  larger,  indeed, 
than  you  may  be  aware,  who  have  caught  the 
spirit,  not  to  say  sentiments,  of  Byron,  in 
regard  to  woman. 

They  have  caught  them,  I  say;  but  this, 
perhaps,  is  not  so.  I  will  only  say  they  have 
them.  I  know  not  how,  as  a  general  fact,  they 
came  by  them.  I  can  only  say  that  they  are 
often  very  early  imbibed;  and  that  they  grow 
with  their  growth  and  strengthen  with  their 
strength.  Would  to  Heaven  this  utter  skep- 
ticism in  regard  to  female  worth  and  purity 


344 

could  be  removed;  or  rather  prevented.  It 
is  the  bane  of  social  life — as  I  could  show, 
were  I  disposed  to  do  so,  by  a  thousand  illus- 
trations. 

As  a  general  rule — to  which  perhaps  there 
are  some  exceptions — it  is  according  to  human 
nature  to  suspect  others  to  be  wanting  in  those 
virtues  which  we  are  conscious  we  are  want- 
ing in  ourselves.  Find  a  person  wanting  in 
sterling  integrity,  and  he  is  the  very  person 
to  be  found  complaining  of  the  want  of  it  in 
others.  I  will  not  say  that  his  complaints  are 
not  sometimes — indeed,  quite  too  often — just; 
I  only  say,  that  whether  just  or  not,  neither 
his  suspicions  nor  complaints  prove  them  to 
be  so. 

Eeware,  then — I  beseech  you,  beware — of 
the  young  man  who  is  ever  prating  about 
the  innate  worthlessness,  not  to  say  vice, 
of  your  sex.  I  do  not  say,  reject  him  for- 
ever, simply  on  suspicion;  for  that  would  be 
to  go  to  the  other  extreme.  But  though  I 
have  admitted  that  there  may  possibly  be  ex- 
ceptions in  regard  to  the  general  rule  I  have 
laid  down,  I  also  insist  that  they  are  rare. 
Therefore,  I  again  say,  be  wary  in  forming 
your  friendships — and  especially  so,  in  suffer- 
ing them  to  become  more  and  more  intimate. 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  345 

Precisely  in  these  circumstances  is  it,  that 
you  may  derive  immense  benefit  from  a  dis- 
creet female  friend.  But  in  this,  too,  you 
must  be  deliberate,  and  use  great  judgment; 
for  there  arc  many  whose  views  on  this  subject 
are  such  as  entirely  to  disqualify  them  for  the 
office  of  an  adviser.  I  remember  hearing  a  lady 
of  great  gravity — though  of  much  good  sense 
in  all  other  respects — say,  that  she  thought  the 
friends  of  a  young  woman  were  much  more 
competent  to  select  a  companion  for  her,  than 
she  was  to  make  the  selection  for  herself.  I 
was  so  struck  with  the  remark,  that  not  knowing 
but  I  misapprehended  her  meaning,  I  ventured 
to  inquire  whether  she  really  meant  to  say,  that 
other  people  could  judge  better  in  regard  to 
selecting  a  companion  for  life,  than  the  parties 
most  concerned  in  the  choice.  To  which  she 
answered,  Yes,  without  hesitation;  and  imme- 
diately went  upon  a  defence  of  her  opinion. 
I  was  as  little  pleased,  however,  with  the 
defence,  as  with  the  assertion;  for  the  whole 
thing  carried  absurdity  on  the  very  face  of  it. 
It  cannot,  surely,  be  so;  it  is  contrary  to  the 
very  nature  of  things. 

I  cannot  help  counselling  you  to  be  a  wary 
of  such  an  adviser,  as  of  the  friend  to  whom 


346  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

she  would  direct  your  attention.  The  choice — 
the  final  choice — be  it  never  forgotten,  rests 
on  you:  because  on  you  rests  the  responsi- 
bilities. While,  therefore,  you  seek,  with 
great  earnestness,  for  advice,  seek  it  as  advice 
only.  Neither  seek,  nor  admit,  in  any  case, 
a  dictator. 

Be  it  also  ever  remembered,  that  it  is  your 
duty  to  sift,  with  great  care,  the  opinions  and 
views  of  one  in  whom  you  are  daily  becoming 
more  and  more  deeply  interested.  If  it  be 
even  true,  that  woman  is  not  distinguished  for 
perseverance,  let  this  fact  only  stimulate  you 
to  use  what  powers  of  perseverance  you  pos- 
sess. Though  you  are  not  to  be  held  respon- 
sible for  the  exercise  of  talents  which  you 
have  not,  you  are  to  account  for  what  talents 
you  have;  and  fearful  may  be  the  reward  of 
the  individual  who  is  found  delinquent  in  the 
matter  before  us;  fearful  in  this  life,  even 
were  it  possible  to  escape  punishment  in  the 
life  to  come.  Let  a  comparison,  then,  be 
faithfully  made  of  your  views  on  all  important 
subjects: — as  female  superiority  or  inferiority ; 
selfishness  and  benevolence;  dress  and  equi- 
page; education  of  ourselves  and  others; 
discipline — its  means,  instruments  and  ends; 


SOCIAL    IMPROVEMENT.  347 

household  management;  amassing  property; 
the  chief  end  of  human  existence;  particular 
duties,  &c. 

Remember,  moreover,  in  this  matter,  as 
well  as  in  all  other  matters  which  concern 
your  own  happiness  and  the  happiness  of 
others— in  this  matter,  I  might  say,  which 
concerns  your  happiness  more  than  almost  all 
others — to  seek  the  direction  of  that  Being 
who  has  said,  "If  any  lack  wisdom,  let  him 
ask  of  God."  You  cannot,  surely,  obey  this 
first  injunction  on  the  human  race  without 
first  and  always— at  every  step  of  your  course 
— seeking  for  His  approbation.  You  can- 
not, in  one  word,  be  concerned  in  a  duty 
which  may  involve  the  destinies— present  and 
eternal — of  millions  and  millions  of  human 
beings,  without  looking  upward  toward  the 
throne  of  God,  and  soliciting,  with  all  the 
humility,  as  well  as  confidence,  of  the  most 
devoted  child  of  an  earthly  parent,  that  wisdom 
and  guidance  which  are  to  be  found  in  all 
fulness  in  the  leather  of  lights,  and  which, 
when  properly  apprehended,  can  never  mis- 
lead you. 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 


MORAL  PROGRESS. 

Importance  of  progress.  Physical  improvement  a  means 
rather  than  an  end.  The  same  true  of  intellectual  improve- 
ment. The  general  homage  which  is  paid  to  inoffensive- 
ness.  Picture  of  a  modern  christian  family.  Measuring 
ourselves  by  others.  Our  Saviour  the  only  true  standard 
of  comparison.  Importance  of  self-denial  and  self-sacrifice. 
Blessedness  of  communicating.  Young  women  urged  to 
emancipate  themselves  from  the  bondage  of  fashion,  and 
custom,  and  selfishness. 

After  all  I  have  said  of  the  importance 
of  physical,  intellectual  and  social  improve- 
ment and  progress,  it  is  moral  progress  for 
which  we  were,  pre-eminently,  created.  The 
great  end  of  Christianity  itself — to  use  the 
words  of  a  learned  and  eloquent  divine — is, 
to  make  men  better  than  they  were  before; 
but  whether  or  not  this  expresses  the  entire 
truth,  one  thing  is  certain — that  wherever 
Christianity  fails  to  make  man  better,  it  fails 
of  accomplishing  its  whole  intention  respecting 


MORAL    PROGRESS.  319 

him.  Perhaps  the  apostle  expressed  the  idea 
we  would  inculcate,  in  the  fewest  words  and 
in  the  clearest  manner,  when  he  required  his 
converts  to  "grow  in  grace  and  in  the  knowl- 
edge of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ." 

Mere  physical  improvement — or  even  phy- 
sical perfection,  were  it  attainable — would 
hardly  be  worth  the  pains,  if  it  were  any  thing 
more  than  a  means  to  an  end.  We  might  study 
the  subject  of  health,  and  practise  its  excellent 
rules  with  the  utmost  zeal  and  faithful  consci- 
entiousness; and  yet  it  would  hardly  prove  a 
blessing  to  us,  if  it  only  gave  us  the  more  effi- 
ciency in  the  service  of  "the  world,  the  flesh 
and  the  devil."  And  the  same,  or  nearly  the 
same,  may  be  said  of  intellectual  improve- 
ment and  progress.  Though  the  general  ten- 
dency of  both — when  conscience  is  properly 
trained  and  the  heart  set  right — is  beneficial, 
yet  it  is  not  necessarily  so,  without  a  right 
heart  and  correct  conscience.  Satan  is  not 
wanting — so  to  speak — in  intelligence  or  phy- 
sical energy. 

Physical   and  intellectual  development  and 

progress,  therefore,  are  little  more  than  means 

to  secure  an  end.     If  they  prove  to  be  what 

it  was  the   original  intention  of  the  Creator 

30 


350 


they  should  be,  they  are  eminently  conducive 
to  our  highest  interests,  both  as  respects  this 
world  and  the  world  which  is  to  come.  If 
otherwise,  they  do  but  accelerate,  and  in  the 
end  aggravate,  our  doom.  They  tend  but  to 
make  our  condemnation  the  more  sure,  and 
the  more  dreadful. 

I  have  urged,  elsewhere,  the  importance 
of  conscientiousness  in  every  thing  we  do: 
let  me  especially  recommend  you  to  make 
continual  progress  in  excellence  or  holiness, 
a  matter  of  conscience.  Do  not  be  continu- 
ally measuring  yourself — above  all,  your  spi- 
ritual self — by  your  neighbors.  If  you  are 
the  true  disciple  of  Christ,  and  if  you  are 
what  a  christian  should  be  in  this  land  of 
Christianity,  you  will  not  indulge  yourself  in 
comparisons  with  any  but  the  Saviour  himself. 
You  will  be  daily  and  hourly  striving  to  pos- 
sess more  and  more  of  his  spirit;  in  the  be- 
lief that  without  the  spirit  of  Christ,  you  nei- 
ther are  nor  can  be  his. 

It  is  painful  to  think  of  the  great  number  of 
individuals  who  go  through  life — often  through 
a  long  life — and  yet  accomplish  so  little  for 
themselves  and  others.  That  they  are  free 
from  outward  immorality  or  blame — as  much 


MORAL    PROGRESS.  351 

so  at  least  as  their  neighbors — seems  to  satisfy 
them.  Some  of  the  best  families  I  know, 
are  trained  in  this  way.  They  are  excellent 
people;  they  are  disciples  of  Christ,  if  there 
are  any  such  in  the  world:  we  cannot  say 
aught  against  them,  if  we  would.  They  seem 
to  discharge  all  the  external  duties  of  our 
holy  religion  with  a  most  scrupulous  exact- 
ness; and  they  seem — the  whole  family — to 
bear  the  image  of  Christ.  Whatsoever  is  true 
or  lovely,  is  theirs;   or  appears  to  be  so. 

And  yet,  if  you  examine  closely  the  matter, 
you  will  find  that  much  of  all  this  is  the  result 
of  circumstances.  They  possess,  by  inheri- 
tance, a  happy  temper — or  they  are  in  cir- 
cumstances which  make  virtue  easy  to  them. 

But  the  spirit  and  genius  of  Christianity  re- 
quire a  great  deal  more  than  mere  inoffensive- 
ness — though  that  is,  of  itself,  certainly,  a 
great  deal.  They  require  continual  progress 
from  glory  to  glory.  But  this  progress  can  only 
be  made  amid  self-denial,  and  cross-taking. 
"  Whoso  taketh  not  up  his  cross,"  daily  and 
hourly,  is  not  a  true  disciple  of  the  great 
Teacher.  It  is  even  through  "  much  tribula- 
tion "  only,  that  we  can  enter  into  the  king- 
dom of  our  Lord  and  Saviour. 


352  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

Now,  to  what  self-denials,  what  tribulations, 
what  taking  up  of  the  cross,  do  these  easy, 
lovely  families  of  which  I  am  speaking,  ever 
subject  themselves?  Trained  happily,  they 
are  generally  healthy — and  therefore  they 
have  few  trials  from  sickness.  They  live  in 
the  midst  of  abundance,  and  always  have 
done  so — abundance  of  food,  clothing,  &c, 
and  of  what  they  regard  as  of  the  best 
quality.  They  have  more  than  heart  can 
wish:  their  eyes,  as  it  were,  stand  out  with 
fatness.  They  know  nothing  of  want:  they 
know  nothing  even  of  inconvenience — except 
for  some  hapless  moment,  when  a  neighbor 
gets  a  little  ahead  of  them  in  the  fashion  of 
their  dress,  their  equipage,  or  their  tables. 
Then  a  feeling  of  envy — peradventure  a  half 
expressed  feeling  of  detraction — appears  to 
mar,  for  a  short  time,  their  peace. 

I  have  said  that  these  inoffensive  people — 
these  do-no-harm  christians — know  nothing  of 
want.  When  and  where  have  they  cut  them- 
selves short  of  any  thing  to  which  they  were 
lawfully  entitled,  for  the  sake  of  doing  good  to 
others?  They  have,  indeed,  performed  works 
of  charity  and  mercy,  as  much  as  other  peo- 
ple   of  their  own    property  and    standing    in 


MORAL    PROGRESS.  SoS 

society.  But  they  have  given,  always,  of 
their  abundance.  They  have  never  so  given 
as  to  impoverish  the  giver — so  as  to  make  him 
feel  the  least  privation.  They  have  visited 
the  sick:  but  when  has  the  time  they  have 
given,  seriously  incommoded  them?  Have 
they  not  had  time  enough  left  for  their  own 
purposes?  Have  they  not,  in  this  respect, 
given  of  their  abundance  ?  Perhaps  they  have 
clothed  the  poor,  to  some  extent;  but  have 
they  denied  themselves,  to  do  it?  Have  not 
their  closets,  and  houses,  and  the  neighboring 
livery  stables,  been  well  furnished  and  sup- 
plied, notwithstanding?  Have  they  not  given, 
in  this  respect,  wholly  of  their  abundance — 
and  not,  like  the  good  woman  mentioned  in 
the  gospel,  of  their  penury? 

It  is  exceedingly  painful,  I  say  again,  to 
find  professedly  good  people  among  us  living, 
as  Watts  calls  it,  at  such  a  poor,  dying  rate; 
the  professed  disciples  of  a  Master  who  be- 
came poor  for  their  sakes,  by  giving  up,  not 
only  the  luxuries  of  life,  but  even  many  of 
its  necessaries — and  yet  not  giving  up  or  de- 
nying themselves  a  single  thing  all  their  lives 
long. 

Can  such  people  expect  to  make  advances 
30* 


354  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN 's    GUIDE. 

in  holiness — to  grow  in  grace  and  in  the 
knowledge  of  Christ — and  yet  not  act  like 
him,  or  follow  him?  For  be  it  always  remem- 
bered— the  benefits  of  doing  good  are  to  those 
ivho  do  it,  more  than  to  those  to  whom  it  is 
done.  This  is  the  ordination  and  arrange- 
ment of  Providence.  "It  is  more  blessed  to 
give  than  to  receive."  How  sad  a  mistake, 
then,  is  made  by  those  who  seem — from  their 
conduct — to  think  there  is  little  happiness  in 
giving;  and  that  their  charities  abridge,  by  so 
much,  their  happiness,  instead  of  adding  to  it. 
Young  woman,  should  it  be  your  lot  to  be- 
long to  one  of  these  happy  and  excellent  fami- 
lies— for  I  do  not  deny  that  they  are  among  our 
best  people,  after  all,  though  they  are  very  far 
from  having,  as  yet,  come  up  to  the  self- 
denying,  self-sacrificing  spirit  of  the  Lord 
that  bought  them,  and  become  willing  to  be 
poor,  and  to  suffer  not  a  little  want  of  time, 
money,  Sec.  for  even  their  own  apparent  ne- 
cessities, temporal  or  spiritual — I  say,  if  in  the 
Providence  of  God  you  have  been  accustomed 
to  see  almost  the  whole  time  and  labor  of  a 
family,  with  the  avails  of  a  handsome,  or  at 
least  respectable  property,  used  up  year  after 
year  by  that   family,  in  eating,  and  drinking, 


MORAL    PROGRESS.  355 

and  sleeping,  and  dressing  comfortably — in 
mere  passive  enjoyment,  in  one  word — while 
the  blessedness  of  active  enjoyment,  in  the 
doing  of  good  to  others,  has  been  hardly 
known — be  it  yours  to  break  the  chain  that 
binds  this  circle  of  selfishness,  and  go  forth  to 
the  work  of  impoverishing  yourself,  as  did 
your  Lord  and  Master.  Think  not  to  make 
any  considerable  moral  progress,  otherwise! 
The  soul  must  have  food,  as  well  as  the  body. 
This  continual  indulgence  of  the  body,  while 
the  soul  is  unfed,  or  only  fed  just  enough  to 
keep  it  from  starving,  will  never  do  for  you. 
If  you  yield  to  the  influence  of  this  fashion- 
able kind  of  excellence,  and  strive  not  to  rise 
higher,  I  will  not  say  that  you  will  live  to 
little  purpose;  but  I  will  say,  that  you  will 
have  but  very  little  of  real,  valuable,  immortal 
life,  till  you  pass  beyond  the  bounds  of  time 
and  space.  Whereas,  you  ought  to  begin 
your  heaven  here.  For  "this  is  the  will  of 
God,  even  your  sanctiiication;"  and  it  was 
the  prayer  of  Paul  concerning  some  to  whom 
he  wrote — "The  God  of  peace  sanctify  you 
wholly." 

Will  you  not,  then,  oh,  young  woman!  in 
view  of  these  considerations,  seek  for  deliver- 


356  THE    YOUNG    WOMAN'S    GUIDE. 

ance  from  the  spell  that  binds  thousands  and 
millions  of  otherwise  good  people  to  a  narrow, 
selfish  circle,  in  which  they  continually  wan- 
der— coining  round  and  round  again,  every 
night,  to  the  same  spot,  or  nearly  the  same, 
but  making  no  considerable  progress?  Will 
you  not  study,  and  labor,  and  pray,  for  more 
and  more  of  the  spirit  of  Him,  who  not  only 
stripped  himself  of  every  glory  to  which  he 
had  been  accustomed,  but,  instead  of  retain- 
ing that  which  was  his  divine  right,  deprived 
himself  of  every  thing  which  is  calculated  to 
make  life  comfortable  in  the  common  sense  of 
the  term,  and  only  sought  his  happiness  in  per- 
fecting holiness  in  the  fear  of  God,  by  living 
and  dyin<_r  for  his  brethren,  the  whole  human 
family.'  Will  you  not  henceforth  study  to  be 
more  and  more  conformed  to  the  Divine 
image — and  to  act  less  and  less  in  conformity 
with  a  world  whose  predominating  motive  to 
action,  is  selfishness? 


VALUABLE   WORKS 

PUBLISHED   BY   GEORGE   W.  LIGHT, 

1  CornhiU,  Host  on,  and  126  Fulton  Street,  New  York. 


ALCOTT'S   WORKS. 

"  His  works  will  live  long  after  he  sleeps  in  the  dust." — Boston 
Recorder. 
"  Society  will  reap  good  from  his  sowing." — Christ.  Register. 

THE  YOUNG  HUSBAND,  or  Duties  of  Man  in  the 
Marriage  Relation.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Fifth  stereo- 
type edition,  embellished  by  a  steel  Frontispiece  and  Vig- 
nette. 

THE  YOUNG  WIFE,  or  Duties  of  Woman  in  the 
Marriage  Relation.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Eighth  stereo- 
type edition,  embellished  by  a  steel  Frontispiece  and  Vig- 
nette. 

THE  YOUNG  HOUSEKEEPER,  or  Thoughts  on 
Food  and  Cookery.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Containing, 
besides  390  pages  of  general  matter,  120  Recipes  for  Plain 
Cooking.     Fourth  stereotype  edition. 

THE  YOUNG  MOTHER,  or  Management  of  Chil- 
dren in  regard  to  Health.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Seventh 
stereotype  edition,  embellished  by  a  Vignette. 

J)^  These  four  hooks  are  now  so  well  known  as  standard  family 
works,  that  it  is  unnecessary  to  describe  I  hem,  or  insert  the  nu- 
merous warm  testimonials  in  their  favor  which  have  appeared  in  all 
parts  of  the  country.    Copies  in  extra  style  for  Presents. 


G.  w.  light's  publications. 


LIBRARY  OF  HEALTH,  and  Teacher  on  the  Human 
Constitution.  Edited,  and  principally  written,  by  Dr. 
Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Treating  on  all  subjects  connected  with 
Health,  in  a  very  interesting  and  plain  style.  Five  Vol- 
umes completed — illustrated  by  Cuts. 

D^Tliis  work  lias  boon  approved  by  George  Combe,  author  of 
tho  "  Constitution  of  Man,"  and  by  many  distinguished  men  of  this 
country.  Also  highly  recommended  by  the  press  in  all  parts  of  tho 
United  States.  It  is  still  continued  as  a  Periodical,  in  monthly 
numbnrs — eacli  volume  commencing  in  January.  Subscription  price, 
$1  a  year,  in  advance. 

THE  HOUSE  I  LIVE  IN,  or  the  Human  Body.  A 
popular  work  for  the  Young,  and  others,  on  the  Structure 
of  the  Human  Body.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Seventh 
stereotype  edition.  Illustrated  by  numerous  Cuts.  This 
work  has  been  re-published  in  London. 

VEGETABLE  DIET,  as  sanctioned  by  Medical  Men, 
and  by  Experience,  in  all  ages.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott. 
This  work  is  very  valuable  for  all  who  wish  for  information 
on  the  subject  of  Dietetics,  whatever  their  present  views 
may  be. 

TEA  AND  COFFEE— their  physical,  intellectual  and 
moral  effects  on  the  haman  system.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott. 
This  little  work  presents  such  facts  and  experiments  as  will 
enable  every  individual  to  judge  of  the  true  nature  of  these 
popular  stimulants. 

THE  ART  OF  PRESERVING  HEALTH— treating 
on  Air,  Diet,  Exercise,  and  the  Passions.  This  is  a  revised 
edition  of  Armstrong's  celebrated  scientific  Poem,  (the 
style  somewhat  similar  to  that  of  Pope's  Essay  on  Man,) 
edited  by  Dr.  Alcott,  who  has  added  various  Notes.  A 
very  valuable  work. 


G.  W.  LIGHT  S    PUBLICATIONS. 


WAYS  OF  LIVING— a  small  Manual  of  Economy 
and  Health.  By  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Showing-  that  every 
thing  really  indispensable  to  physical  and  even  intellectual 

comfort,  is  within  the  reach  of  all,  would  they  be  content  to 
live  in  a  manner  at  once  rational,  simple  and  healthful. 

HEALTH  TRACTS.  By  Dr.  Wm.  A.  Alcott.  Pub- 
lished about  once  a  month — each  number  containing  from 
16  to  .50  pages,  and  sold  at  prices  corresponding  with  the 
quantity  of  matter.    The  numbers  published  are  as  follows  : 

1.  Dosing  and  Drugging.  5.  Thoughts  on  Bathing. 

2.  How  lo  Prevent  Consumption.  C\  Breathing  Had  Air. 

3.  City  and  Country.  7.  Clothing  and  Temperature. 

4.  Right  Use  of  Fruits.  8.  Domestic  Poisons. 


OTHER  POPULAR  AND  USEFUL  WORKS. 

THE  BOSTON  BOOK;  being  specimens,  in  Prose 
and  Poetry,  of  Metropolitan  Literature.  Edited  by  B.  B. 
Thatcher  and  H.  T.  Tuckerman.  Executed  in  ele- 
gant style — embellished  by  a  handsome  Vignette.  A  supe- 
rior book  for  a  Present,  at  any  season. 

THE  BOSTON  COMMON,  or  Rural  Walks.  Show- 
ing the  great  advantages  of  rural  grounds,  and  describing, 
in  an  elegant  manner,  the  healthful  influence  of  the  beau- 
ties of  nature  in  general.  The  subjects  of  the  work  are — 
the  Boston  Common  ;  Public  Squares;  Streets;  Trees; 
Gardens;  Morning;  Recreations;  Transplantation  of 
Trees.  Embellished  by  an  engraving  of  the  "Great  Tree" 
of  Boston  Common. 

THE  ITALIAN  SKETCH  BOOK.  By  II.  T.  Tuck- 
ermak. A  beautiful  volume  of  interesting  narrative,  de- 
scriptive of  Italian  scenery  and  manners,  &c.  Embellished 
with  an  engraving  of  the  Aqueduct  near  Rome. 


G.   W.   LIGHT  3    PUBLICATIONS. 


SCIENTIFIC  TRACTS,  for  the  Diffusion  of  Useful 
Knowledge.  Complete  in  one  volume.  By  distinguished 
writers  in  the  various  branches  of  useful  knowledge.  With 
Engravings.      A  valuable  book  for  the  famify  library. 

RICHES  WITHOUT  WINGS,  or  the  Cleveland 
Family.  A  very  interesting  and  well  written  story,  illus- 
trating the  riches  of  character  in  contrast  with  those  of 
mere  money.     By  Mrs.  Seba  Smitzi.     Second  edition. 

BREAD  AND  BREAD-MAKING.  Explaining  the 
scientific  principles  upon  which  bread-making  ought  to  be 
based,  and  showing  the  best  methods  of  preparing  the  vari- 
ous kinds  in  use.  By  Sylvester  Graham.  This  little 
work  is  highly  approved  by  all  classes  where  it  is  known. 

THE  PARENT'S  PRESENT.  By  the  author  of  Peter 
Parley's  Tales.  One  of  the  best  of  Parley's  books  for 
Youth,  containing  an  excellent  variety  of  matter.  Illus- 
trated by  Cuts.     Second  stereotype  edition. 

GEMS,  selected  from  the  Poems  of  Caroline  Bowles. 


£3=  Valuable  Arithmetic  for  Self-Instruction. 
LEONARD'S  ARITHMETIC.  A  practical  treatise, 
combining  the  useful  properties  of  former  works  with  the 
modern  improvements ;  being  a  complete  system.  To 
whieh  is  added,  a  description  of  Book-Keeping,  with 
Examples  for  Practice.     By  George  Leonard,  Jr. 

{t5=This  work  is  admirably  fitted  for  self-instruction,  by  its  simpli- 
city, and  by  the  regular  gradation  from  those  parts  which  arc  easy 
and  obvious,  to  such  as  are  more  difficult.  Though  lately  published, 
it  has  received  the  highest  commendation  from  the  North  American 
Review,  Annals  of  Education,  and  many  of  the  best  daily  and 
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